


Red

by sephypoo



Series: RED [2]
Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: F/M, M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-18
Packaged: 2019-03-25 19:31:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 55
Words: 154,455
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13841505
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sephypoo/pseuds/sephypoo
Summary: This is the original work with only a few tweaks to grammar and sentence structure. All warnings for the series apply. I own nothing.





	1. Welcome and Good Luck

WELCOME AND GOOD LUCK

  


He was so hot. As he regained consciousness, he felt the hot sweaty press of something across his face and he struggled to free himself from what was undoubtedly, The Strife. He grappled with fabric and hair, his hands seeking purchase in anything they could grasp.

Axel thought about many things as he slowly disentangled himself from the wreckage that was his graduate study, his research, his career plan, and basically his life. How had this gotten so out of control when he had studied for years and earned multiple degrees before even coming to TU?

The rush of cool air as he rolled away from the mass of bodies took him back to the previous autumn and he looked around the cluttered room. It was full, but empty with its offensive carpeting and walls that were painted the color of beer vomit on purpose so it would blend when the inevitable did happen. The den of the house was littered with cans and bottles and various smoking paraphernalia, much as it was the first time he saw it.

Axel considered crying. It would be justified considering his current situation however a complete and utter waste of what little hydration his body retained. So he didn’t cry; he lit a cigarette instead. It was the second Sunday in May, a little after noon.

  


Fall of the previous year

  


“Thank you Mr. Xemnas, thank you very much.” Axel Sinclair was gushing before the Dean of Twilight University as he shook his hand vigorously.

“Mr. Sinclair, I was glad to hear that you chose our institution to do your study and I assure you that you will have the full cooperation of the faculty and staff. I read your last paper that was published in the Journal and I was impressed. You are an asset to the field of psychological research and I am happy to assist in any way.”

“The research for my study on genetic influence on psychological traits in twins and multiple birth sets will be complete by spring semester and I’ll try to keep disruption to a minimum with the volunteers.” Axel just wanted to clarify.

“Of course, and I’m sure there will be little disruption- no more than usual anyhow. You have been entered into our system as a graduate student and your background information is as you requested. The students who signed up for the study group have all been notified that they will be attending a short seminar this afternoon. From there, the work is up to you. If the set you choose doesn’t cooperate fully, please let me know and they will be dealt with accordingly.” Dean Xemnas stated firmly as he stepped from behind his desk and reached for Axel’s hand once again.

Understanding that he was being dismissed, Axel stood, thanked the Dean again and left. He felt a weight had been lifted as he strode across the crunching leaves. There was a veritable mountain of things to be done, but that was his thing. He had to stay busy and this meeting was like being given the green light.

Dressed in jeans and old black converse, he had the presence of mind to prep it up a bit with a white oxford and black jacket. There was no covering his tattoos or his fire red hair, but he wasn’t trying to fool anyone. What you saw was what you got. He had a genius IQ but he was still a 21 year old.

Arriving on the very first day of classes, all the other students had already settled into their temporary housing on or off campus, and when he found the building that housed the dorms he had been assigned to, he was amazed.

He chose on campus housing because it was faster and easier to arrange than getting a place to rent. The building itself was about 200 years old and was covered with wisteria that had started to invade the brickwork. There were huge, old windows and a small third story balcony. He stopped for a moment to appreciate the sight and feel the early autumn chill.

As he walked through the door he was greeted in the large entryway by a tiny, smiling blond girl who had the eyes of a serial murderer.

“Welcome! Dean Xemnas informed me that you would be arriving a little later. My name is Larxene and if there is anything you need, please feel free to come by my room any time- its right over here.” She said, pointing to a doorway very near the entrance.

She gave him a key and pointed to the stairs, flashed one more shark-tooth grin, and walked away briskly _. If you need anything,_ Axel thought- he thought it in Larxene’s snarky tone and it made him giggle.

Entering his room at the top of the second flight of stairs he realized he had a roommate. _Joy_. At first glance Demyx seemed a little obnoxious but Axel was determined not to judge too quickly.

Looking around the room as he sat his things down he noticed that Demyx had given him the bed by the window and there wasn’t anywhere to sit as the two desk chairs were doubling as guitar stands at the moment. Demyx watched his eyes and immediately hopped up to move his instruments.

“No hurry there, I have a few hours to get my things in order. My name is Axel, nice to meet you.”

“N-n-n-nice tomeetyoutoo,” Demyx spluttered.

_What the actual fuck …was that_? Axel was mentally flipping through the possibilities while trying to get a good look at Demyx’s pupils to see if he was high.

“M-m-m-m-m. M-m-my.” Silence, a sigh, “nameisDemyx.” Demyx head jerked slightly to the right.

_Obviously not high, and clearly struggling with a terrible stutter…and was that a tic? Poor guy._

“S-s-s-sorry ab-bout the st-sts-st-shitgoddammitstutter. I’mouttamy-my-my-my-my-fuckshitmedication.” Demyx’s head jerked again _. Definitely a tic._

By this time Axel’s eyebrows had crept nearly to his hairline as if the height of his eyebrows was relative to Demyx’s struggle. This was going to be interesting in itself, not to mention his research. Axel decided then, that he would start a folder for Demyx aside from his study group. He could drop his name and use it for reference later… maybe. He let out a small sigh and started to put away his things, all the while going over in his mind the list of criteria he was looking for in his study group.

  


Right off campus in an old house built in the same era as the university, students were preparing for a welcome back party.

“Vanitas! Get this shit outta here! I actually want to graduate before I’m 30!”

“You can be such a whiner, Ven,” Vanitas laughed as he scooped up the box of inflatable party decorations (sex-dolls) that was sitting on the laptop. “There ya go, nerdy boy.” He ruffled Ventus’ sandy blond hair as he walked to the stairs to yell up to the second story rooms. “Rooooxaaaassss! Where do ya want these bitches?”

The sunny blond came out of the kitchen with two beers and handed one to Vanitas. “That’s not me up there, Vani.” Roxas grinned like a madman, grabbed the box of decorations and strolled off to wherever to spend some quality time with his girls and a pump.

Ventus grunted from across the room and there was an unspoken understanding between them. They had always had that. It creeped some people out, fascinated others, but to them it was just part of their 'normal'. Suddenly, sliding down the bannister leaving a trail of smoke in his wake, was Sora. The last fourth of what was commonly known around campus as “The Strife”.

“Hey don’t forget we have that seminar today for the study thing that Dean Mansex wanted us to do.” Sora mumbled as he handed Vanitas what was left of his wake and bake.

“Right, yeah. Isn’t the guy doing the study some kinda genius or something?” Vanitas hacked out around the smoke.

Ventus approached his siblings fanning smoke then snatching the last bit of weed for himself and  added, “Yes, he’s a genius, he is also recovering from a nasty habit, has a twin brother who is rumored to work for the government, and is rooming with D-d-d-demyx.”

Sora and Vanitas looked at each other and grunted, then giggled, then they all three hit the floor laughing and snorting and hacking. Roxas walked into the room and stared at the spectacle for no more than 5 seconds, then burst into hysterics as if the whole conversation had been communicated.

  


Axel arrived early to the room designated for his seminar with the volunteers for the twin/multiple study he would be completing before his PhD. He was excited as the students started to wander in and choose seats.

He immediately began taking notes, as seat choice showed interaction and dominance, which were relevant to his study. The first set of twins came in and seated themselves fairly quickly. Axel pondered briefly if his hair or face tattoos would be off-putting enough to make any of the volunteers change their minds. He hoped not.

Another set of twins arrived, as well as a few singles. There had been accommodations made for multiples whose siblings consented to participate via e-mail or video conference, just in case there weren’t a lot of volunteers.

The old lecture hall they were using was huge and the sparsely filled seats made it look even more so. Axel checked his watch once more and stepped to the podium to begin. He was quick and to the point, and after only a short question and answer session with his audience, he made his selections.

“I’d like to thank you all for volunteering. You may all be excused except for sets three and five… if you would come forward so that we may get started on the paperwork.” He shuffled through the stack of applications as his chosen ones approached him quietly. He could hear two voices whispering but too softly to discern the words.

“Alright gentlemen, can I get your names please, so that I may attempt to put some facts with some faces?” At the moment his eyes lifted to meet the faces of his study subjects, everything around him seemed to slow down and volume became muffled as they recited their names.

Axel was looking at the same face. Each of the two sets of twins he had chosen all had the same face. This wasn’t right, was it? Did Twilight U have quadruplets and he was unaware? How did that get past him? Then he started to recount the process of choosing that particular University and realized it was his own twin brother Reno who suggested it and did what little information gathering there was to be done. Reno had even set up his meeting with Dean Xemnas.

Immediately Axel was suspicious. Reno rarely did any research into anything unless it was for work or he was getting something out of it. He made a mental note to call his loving brother at the first convenience and find out what he stood to gain by sending him off to Twilight Town.

All this information flooded his brain in a matter of seconds as he processed the face before him; the single face on four different bodies. Picking up his pen to write the first name down was like grabbing on to a moving train. As he wrote Vanitas Strife he mentally noted _dark hair, facial piercings and a few visible tattoos on his forearms and hands- which probably means that his body art is extensive._

Sora Strife – _chocolate brown hair, no visible tattoos, pierced ears, grins like that Larxene chick-scary._

Ventus Strife had _dark blonde hair and a kind smile and judging by today’s appearance, definitely the most vanilla_ of the quads.

Last was Roxas Strife having _bright blonde hair and a devious smirk_ on his lips. They all had the same _average height, medium build and devastating blue eyes_.

“Here are your contact information sheets and I see you all have the same …um, ok. So why did you guys choose to sit separately today? I wasn’t even aware that there was a set of quads here at TU.”

Roxas spoke up surprisingly quickly, “We knew you would pick us anyhow, so we thought it would be fun to see your face after.”

Axel sat dumbfounded and mouthed the words _Fun to see my face_.

Sora chirped in with, “It was. Fun, I mean. To see it.”

“Your face.” finished Vanitas and Ventus grunted softly before they all began to snicker quietly.

“How old are you all again?” Axel asked, feeling a little embarrassed and more than a bit perturbed.

At that moment the four went completely Stepford on him and answered simultaneously, “20 sir, but it never gets old.”

Now it was Axel’s turn to laugh. The ice was broken and the quads were perfect for his study.

“First of all,” he said as he stepped from behind the podium and bent to grab his messenger bag, causing Roxas to fake a silent orgasm behind his back. “don’t call me sir. I’m not much older than you guys. Second, since I’m new in town, I expect important info from you guys like good restaurants, bars, clubs.”

As they all walked out into the afternoon sun, he explained that the bigger part of his study would be observation and they really wouldn’t be required to do much of anything other than behave normally. He also told them that if they ever needed a break from his presence just let him know; he would be very accommodating as they were doing him a huge favor by volunteering.

They seemed to be fine with all the details and even as they walked across the campus chatting, he couldn’t help but notice a feeling of foreboding. The smell of decay that came with fall was thick in the air. The old oaks scattered across the campus and the wisteria he was positive had to be suffocatingly sweet by early summer, were beautiful in their demise as leaves turned and fell, clogging the fountains and covering the sidewalks.

He smiled to himself as he thought of how far he had come since he and Reno used to hustle people outside the bars back home when they were kids. Soon he arrived at his building and was prepared to say goodbye to his subjects when they continued past him… _look at how they walk_ , into _his_ building _… single file up the stairs- Ventus, Vanitas, Sora, Roxas_ , up _his_ stairway, and into _his_ room.

He heard “DEMYYYYX!!” as he climbed the stairs behind them. Apparently they were friends with his stuttering roomie which was an even bigger bonus. If Demyx could get the words out, he could tell Axel if they were acting out of character in any way. The study was going to be a huge success.

“Hey Dem, party later at the house. You coming?” asked Vanitas who seemed focused completely on Demyx while the other three brothers piddled around the room. Ventus picked up a guitar, Roxas was searching the fridge, and Sora lay across Demyx’s bed with his face in a pillow breathing deeply.

Demyx nodded and smiled, “I-I-I-I-I-I-I-HELLYEAH!”

They all chuckled and then as if only noticing him at that moment, turned to Axel simultaneously and said, “You too.”

Wondering how long it would take him to get used to the scrutiny he felt when being focused on so intently by all those blue eyes suddenly and at once, he answered, “Sure, yeah.”

Ventus stood first and announced that they had to get going because there were still refreshments to be prepared and decorations to be hung. Demyx wrapped him in a hug and whispered into his ear causing him to snort and giggle. The other three grunted quietly and said their goodbyes as they filed back down the stairs. Axel heard a very feminine squeal from below and then what could only be Larxene cursing right before peals of laughter tapered off into the afternoon.

Once they were clear of the building, Axel immediately turned to Demyx who was openly and unashamedly rolling a joint from a huge sack of weed on his desk. Taking time to look over his blonde roommate and appreciate that he had a cute face and eyes so blue they were a little off-putting, he cocked his head and ran a hand through his fiery locks. Demyx noticed him staring and smiled brightly, “I-i-i-i-i-its f-f-or the p-p-p-p-p-p-p-for later.”

In Axel’s mind there was a war being fought. On one side there was ‘ _It’s your first week here- don’t fuck up.’_ And on the other side there was ‘ _It’s your first week here- get fucked up._ ’ After a brief inner struggle where half his mind was debating morals and the other half was calculating fines and charges and eventually rehab again, he spoke, “I have some time to kill, if you want some help.”

Demyx nodded and scooted his chair over making room at the desk and Axel grabbed a bottle of water and sat down to hydrate and roll away the afternoon. The blonde turned on his ipod and Axel was intrigued at the wide variety of music he listened to. It was an interesting insight and he began looking forward the next song. It was like getting to know Demyx without talking, and given Demyx's particular struggle and the level of focus that Axel had to maintain to keep from jumping out of his skin every time Demyx burst out with a string of curses, it was easier that way- just Axel, Demyx, the music, the refreshments, and fuckshitcocksukingmotherfucker!

“T-t-t-t-tourette Ssssssyndrome is a b-bitch.” He smirked.


	2. MERMAIDS

MERMAIDS

  


At dusk Axel and Demyx walked the short distance off campus to the Strife House where the yard was already dotted with plastic cups and the music was clearly audible from the street. Axel had changed into a raggedy old tee that he and Reno used to share and put on his red doc martens. He didn’t want to go to the party looking like a professor, after all.

As the two approached the door, Demyx was lighting up. The house was alive and the air inside was thick with smoke already. Demyx passed off the sack of pre-rolled party favors to Vanitas and strolled toward the kitchen, leaving Axel to speak to the host.

“Glad you came!” Vanitas smiled and leaned directly into Axel’s personal space and in doing so, sucked all the air from his lungs. Axel was a drowning man. Half his mind was ticking off probability and statistics of his chances of walking away from this study unaffected by participating in this type of lifestyle and the other half was wondering about the sexual orientation of his quads. _My subjects! THE subjects! Goddammit!_

Vanitas handed him something to smoke and guided him by his elbow through the crowded den into the kitchen where every inch of counter space was littered with all manner of alcohol. Raising a bottle to him, Vanitas barked “Salud!” then strode away leaving Axel to his own bartending.

He looked around discerningly then poured a triple shot of tequila into a plastic cup. Having done plenty of college parties…he was a veteran before he ever attended college so he knew enough to hang onto his cup. He felt the familiar burn of the tequila as it poured down his throat and his mind wandered into the past.

_Reno dealing and scamming people… their shitty apartment that still wasn’t as shitty as living with their Da… the neighbor lady with the little boy who got shot in a drive-by… killing the shooter on Christmas that year… last year…_

“Nope.” He whispered to himself. _Not goin there right now._

“So you’re the Strife’s new toy, huh?” purred a tiny black haired chick as she strolled up to the redhead, ignoring his personal bubble completely, and stepped one impossibly high heel in between his boots.

“My name is Xion,” she said as she shoved his t-shirt up nearly to his armpits and dragged her nails down his abs, “your name is Axel, so now we’re friends.”

Axel lowered his empty cup to the counter and leaned forward smiling wolfishly, “Yes, I guess we are friends, but I’m nobody’s toy-not yet, anyway.”

She smiled, grabbed his hand and began to drag him toward the den. “Come with me, there are people here who need to meet you.”

“Why?” Axel dropped his empty onto the counter and grabbed the tequila bottle as he was dragged away.

“Because you’re beautiful!” she declared and led him into the smog filled den.

  


The people Xion spoke of were a colorful bunch. There was Namine, a sweet faced blonde stripper who was Vanitas’ current hobby and Xion’s best friend. Demyx the musician who, Axel explained “is my roomie” and amazingly who did not stutter a bit when stoned. There was Hope, a lacrosse player who mooned over Xion as she introduced them. A silver haired guy with a beautiful face and the saddest eyes he had ever seen named Riku was, as Xion whispered after they left him, “the object of Sora’s stalker-like affection.” There was Tidus and Yuna, who were having a lovers’ spat, Zexion the emo pusher who was on junk “again”, and a hippie girl who lived in a tree out back.

They walked the circuit and Xion gave him the goods on nearly everyone they passed. There were too many people there to remember all the names but he did associate faces with gossip tidbits for future reference.

At one point he saw Sora watching Riku. He watched as Riku’s face went through a myriad of colors right before he averted his gaze. Later he saw Riku watching Sora as Sora , supposedly unaware, chugged a beer then pulled up his shirt (much higher than was necessary) to wipe his face and neck.

It was so funny to watch the two play a game he had seen a million times in movies. What he didn’t expect was Riku turning to snort a truck load of something completely unhealthy, walk right up to Sora who was in mid conversation, and kiss him. Axel chuckled as he thought about the underlying innocence of the act. He turned his attention from the two as he caught a glimpse of Roaxs walking outside onto the deck and lighting up.

“Would you excuse me for a sec, new friend Xion?” Axel schmoozed.

She spun to face him with all the grace of a prima ballerina, grabbed both his hands and tugged them behind her waist. “I’ll give you all the time you need, Red, if you promise to see me later.” She smiled an easy, honest smile.

Axel leaned down to brush his lips across her ear as he breathed, “I promise nothing.” With that they both laughed and he twirled her once before she walked back toward the others and he stepped outside.

The first thing that struck him was the ringing in his ears from the music inside. Swinging the door closed behind him, he shook his head a bit. “Roxas, great party.” He smiled, approaching the blonde who had half-turned to acknowledge his presence when he heard the door.

“Thanks, man. Glad you came. I see you met Xion. I will assume you are up to speed on all the gossip now as well?” Roxas’ expression was blank but he seemed to have lost his sense of humor during the afternoon. Axel noted that for later.

“Mostly I guess. She didn’t say much about you, though.”

“Nothing much to tell. Besides, I’m sure you’ll know plenty about me by the time you’re done with your study, right?”

“Right, yeah.” Axel was about to turn and walk back inside for another smoke and another drink, when Roxas turned to face him.

 “Will you be spending a lot of time here for your study?”

“Well, yes. I don’t want to be a barnacle but the more time I spend observing you guys the more accurate my study will be.” Axel was hoping that Roxas wasn’t having second thoughts about his part in it. He waited to see if there was more to his concerns but before any more could be discussed, a sudden burst of laughter erupted from behind them inside the house and they both turned to see Vanitas with Ventus thrown over his shoulder, walking toward the stairs.

“He really must be wasted.” Axel chuckled.

Instantly transformed into his former mischievous self, Roxas grinned and his eyelids dropped half-mast so that he looked demonic. “He has Narcolepsy. Let’s go! Grab some make-up from Xion and some pens. I think Namine has a dress here.”

He followed Roxas inside and they set to the task of decorating poor Ventus. Much to Axel’s surprise, lots of the other party-goers joined in. Ventus’ transformation complete and many photos later, Axel was too many shots into the night to try and make it back to his dorm.

He shared a bong with Xion while they watched Demyx play guitar and serenade a half-inflated “friend” who had been dressed in some poor sap’s boxers. There was a food run that he skipped so he could play more drinking games and ensure his complete annihilation.

At some point, Vanitas insisted that he eat something, then proceeded to feed him pizza toppings with his hands while Roxas sat on his lap and gave him sips of beer. His initiation into this clan was complete. Only his first day and he had sealed the deal it seemed. He had friends who accepted him, no questions asked.

  


He still missed Reno, but then he always missed Reno. That’s why he liked to stay busy. When he had down time, he thought too much. Thinking too much led to (in Axel’s case) narcotics. Even though he and Reno hadn’t lived together for more than months at a stretch in years, he still hated sleeping without him.

It had been impossible for him to sleep when Reno left to work for ShinRa. It was the summer before he went to Midgar U and Reno said he would be home as much as possible (which turned out to be not at all for months). He always sent money and called, but he wasn’t there to see Axel falling apart. Insomnia led him to seek ‘help’ from one of Reno’s former contacts in the slums.

A few months later Reno was home, Axel was at inpatient care as a suicide risk, and the contact had died violently in an alley. He moved to the dorms at Midgar U directly from rehab but he and Reno decided to keep their old apartment so they could stay together when Reno was in town. Axel adjusted, but he never stopped missing his twin at night.

Sometime near dawn, after most everyone had left or found a place to crash, Roxas staggered over to Axel’s current perch on the kitchen island counter where he was systematically draining the alcoholic remnants from all the abandoned cups.

“Axel, come on,” Roxas slurred, “it’s time for the annual swimming of the mermaids.” He grasped Axel’s wrist and started walking in the opposite direction. Axel followed, not questioning, and helped Vanitas, Sora, and Roxas haul all the inflatable mermaids down to the old rock quarry that was a part of the campus. It wasn’t a long walk, but in their impaired state, it seemed to take forever.

By the time the mermaids were swimming and they were back at the house, the sky was lightening and the thick clouds were visible. They explained to Axel that the mermaids were a tradition that started before they came to TU, they were just doing their part to keep it going; plus it pissed off Dean Mansex.

Back inside, Axel was about to ask if he should just take the spot under the coffee table, as nobody seemed to be there, when Roxas grabbed his shirt, Vanitas took his wrist and Sora slouched against him wrapping both his arms around his waist from behind then they all began to move like a drunken parade float.

Upstairs they veered into a bedroom and broke apart long enough to shed various articles of clothing then collapse together into a heap. Axel was vaguely aware of Sora sniffing his hair while Roxas was already snoring and starting to drool on his shoulder. Vanitas was draped across Sora with his arm across Axel’s chest tangled in Roxas’ hair.

He closed his eyes and thought of Reno. He could almost smell him- cigarettes, whiskey, and something sweet. He could hear the echo of his laughter as he started to sink into sleep. This wasn’t Reno, but it was so nice. He could do this. This felt almost like home.


	3. SLIP AND GALOSHES

SLIP AND GALOSHES

  


Axel woke up slowly, like floating to the surface of water. He cracked one eye open but didn’t move. He was on his back with one arm over his head and the other around Roxas who had his head on his chest. Sora had his face firmly planted in his armpit and was snoring softly. What Axel couldn’t see was that Sora and Roxas were holding hands across him.

Axel pondered where Vanitas had gone off to during the morning as he listened to the faint noises of people beginning to move around downstairs. Suddenly a loud crash from the hallway made him tense up. Oddly his bedmates never budged. He heard a female voice cursing and then he heard Vanitas’ name.

“Come on Nami, stop yellin. You’re gonna wake the whole house.” Vanitas hissed.

“Fuck you Vani, and fuck everybody here, and fuck your stupid dope!” Namine was screeching as she passed the door to the room Axel was in.

That’s when Axel heard Vanitas’ voice. “Goddammit, don’t say that like I’m on junk or somethin. It’s just a little smoke! Come on, Nami!”

Then as their voices trailed off down the stairs he only heard bits and pieces of the fight, but he got the gist and it made Axel shake his head and grin.

“…could stop smoking while we’re fucking…”

“…said I was sorry baby…”

“…not your goddamn baby and… (growl?)…with fucking seeds popping and burning…”

“…you have a great ass baby, no one will even notice…”

“FUCK YOU VANITAS!” (slam, car door, car motor, squeal, thump, dog barking, silence)

That’s why he had liked Vanitas right away- he reminded him of Reno. A few minutes later the door squeaked open slightly and Vanitas poked his head inside, “Coffee, Axe?”

“Yes, as soon as I can untangle myself from these two.” He whispered as he opened his eyes fully and started to take in his surroundings.

The room was all in shades of gray, from the furniture and bedding to the walls and carpet. He could make quite a few snap assumptions about the person this room belonged to, but he chose not to.

Vanitas laughed as he walked over to the bed. “There’s a secret to that… watch.”

He strode to the window and threw the charcoal gray curtains apart, flooding the room with the early afternoon sun. Roxas and Sora released Axel’s person immediately and hissed as they curled into balls under the duvet. Axel laughed as he crawled away from the hissing, cursing pair. Fishing only his jeans from the clothes pile, he followed after Vanitas. 

 

Downstairs the house wasn’t as wrecked as he expected. The den was semi-clean already (excepting the bodies) and the kitchen had useable counter space. Progress was being made. Vanitas passed him a cup of steaming black coffee and mumbled, “Don’t know how you like it, so you’re welcome to whatever you find to pretty it up.”

“I like it this way, thanks. I don’t need pretty coffee,” Axel smiled. With that Vanitas nodded and motioned with his own cup for Axel to follow him.

He had been correct in his assumption about Vanitas’ body art- it was extensive, and beautiful. He had a set of dragons on his chest curled toward each other to accentuate his pecs. They were brightly colored and highly detailed. He also had a set on his back curling away from each other to accent his broad shoulders. The tails twined over his ribcage down to his waist and disappeared beneath his waistband. Staring at the art, he felt himself being pulled into the details.

_There are small differences in all of them… I gotta know what they mean. Four colors for four brothers… wonder which is who… whom…_. It was going to nag at him like an old lady until he found out. They stepped out onto the deck where there were chairs, a small table, a dozen or so potted plants, and Demyx.

“H-hhhey A-a-a-a-a-a-dude,” he struggled as Axel sat down with a nod. “Mornin.” Looking across the yard he almost spewed coffee everywhere. There in the yard, picking up cups and trash from the night before, was Ventus: blonde hair still full of barrettes holding small pigtails, full make up that had been slept in (making his smoky eye look like a raccoon), a slip so thin it left nothing to the imagination, and someone had written slut across his back. _He had the presence of mind to put on some galoshes before he came out to clean up, so his mental faculties aren’t completely compromised_ , Axel thought and turned to Vanitas who was watching his brother with a relaxed smile.

“H-h-h-h-h-heee is st-st-st-stillhot!” chuckled Demyx

The laughter that ensued got Ventus’ attention and he started toward them. As he walked with his bag of garbage swinging at his side, eyes darted to Demyx then locked on Axel. Ventus was grinning and Axel was desperately trying to catch his breath and keep his eyes above the waist. He failed, and his laughter died away to a chuckle as his mind went right where he didn’t want it to go.

Half of his mind was spouting percentages of chance that the quads were all equally endowed, and the other half of his mind was scolding him for not averting his eyes before he developed a bigger problem and had to tell his new friends that he was gay… and thought Ven looked hot in a slip and galoshes.

As Ventus grabbed the railing and hopped over to join them, he winked at Axel, “Eyes are up here Red, you too Dem,” he pointed to his face.

Axel was stunned but it would take more than a half-naked Ven to shut him up. “So who tagged you a slut and how true is it?” Axel cocked an eyebrow and waited.

“On the record or off?” Ventus smirked.

“Always on…” Axel mumbled as his eyes met Ven’s briefly and darted away like they had been burned.

“I’ve no idea who tagged me but it could’ve been anyone. I do what I do, I like what I like, and I don’t like commitment. So yeah, pretty accurate. Did you have fun last night?” Ventus sat on the arm of Demyx’s chair and took his coffee from his hands, taking a sip.

“Yeah, had a great time, um you guys know how to make a newb feel welcome for sure.”

“You’re no newb,” Ventus smiled, “to any of this.” As he spoke, Axel could see Demyx’s fingers creeping up his thigh, pushing the thin slip as it went. He couldn’t stop looking and Ventus seemed not to notice…or care.

“What do you mean? I’m new to the school, new to you guys,” Axel’s mouth was so dry that he was afraid he sounded like it was full of cotton. Demyx had pushed the slip up far enough to bare a hip that had a few telltale fingerprint-size bruises. One even had a thin red crescent by it that was probably made by a fingernail.

Axel could _not_ avert his eyes and he was having an internal meltdown. Demyx’s eyes peered at Axel from behind Ventus briefly before fluttering closed as he spread his hand across the bare, bruised hip and squeezed.

“That you are, Axel! New to us, to me, but not new to this life. You can be yourself here… you get to know us but we wanna know you too.”

“Sure,” Axel said as his eyes drifted up to Ventus’ smirking visage. The make-up on his face was rubbed off mostly except around his eyes. _He looks like a cracked out super model. Hot_.

Seeing his vulnerability, Ventus leaned toward him without leaving his perch or Demyx’s grip. He put a finger under Axel’s chin and tipped his head back. The redhead was frozen. He could feel his breath on his face and in his bid to avoid the piercing blue eyes, he made eye contact with Demyx just as he pressed his lips to Ventus’ bruised skin. His discomfort with the situation was palpable as Ventus smiled and brushed his lips across Axel’s eyes bidding them close before pressing to his ear as he whispered, “Where is _your_ twin, Axel Sinclair? Where is your other half?”

What lasted mere seconds seemed like soul-sucking hours to Axel who was simultaneously trying to quell a panic attack and keep his hands to himself. Suddenly, Ventus stood, taking Demyx’s hand and going inside. His question had taken Axel completely by surprise and a mix of emotions hit him like an avalanche. He was angry that he couldn’t remember whether or not he had told them he was a twin, he was embarrassed that he had let his guard down enough that he was affected at all, and he was sad, because the mention of Reno elicited instant loneliness.

Ultimately, he was frustrated and he felt all of it would be solved if he could just go in there and fuck the lining out of the little joker replica who had left him sitting there half-naked with no coffee and a hard-on.

 

Axel took fifteen minutes to regroup before heading inside because he still needed to collect the rest of his clothes. As he entered the kitchen he was immediately aware that a lot more people had stayed the night than he originally thought. There were small groups helping with the clean-up and Xion was making fresh coffee.

“Hey, you’re still here, Red. Want some coffee?” She was wearing someone’s shirt that looked like a dress on her tiny frame.

“I had some already, thanks. I actually need to get my things and get outta here. There’s some stuff I need to get done before tomorrow morning.” Axel explained.

“Sure, ok. Well if I don’t see you around campus, I’ll see you this weekend, right?”

“What’s this weekend?” Axel was under the impression that last night’s party was a special occasion for returning to school and then it would be business as usual.

Xion smiled and took his arm, “You have a lot to learn about the Strife, baby. They have a list of holidays and celebrations from all over the world that coincide with every weekend of the school year. They even make a calendar with them all on it so that nobody misses their favorite. Since you’ll be spending so much time here, I’m sure they’ll have you up to speed in no time.”

They had reached the foot of the stairs as they talked and Axel realized it was time to try and get his clothes back without waking the other two quads. Xion smiled, gave him a hug, stroked his bare chest, then returned to the kitchen and waiting coffee.

After genuflecting, Axel began his ascent. He had no trouble getting back to the room where he had slept and listened briefly before opening the door to a quiet room. The bed was in fact empty, so he started to collect his clothes and get dressed.

The others’ clothes were still there and he saw boxers by the bathroom door. That’s when he heard the hiss of the shower and a faint mumble of voices. He wanted so badly to eavesdrop, but there were too many of them. If two were here, then two were at large. He never underestimated twins and multiples’ power of deception because he was one. He knew exactly what they were capable of so he stepped into his boots without tying them and slipped out of the bedroom.

Two steps away from the stairs he ran into Demyx as he emerged from a room across the hall. His hair was damp, his pupils were blown, and he was holding the thin slip.

“Y-y-y-y-y-y-y-ou heading b-b-b-b-back?”

“Yeah, I got some stuff to do this afternoon. You wanna walk with?” Axel tried not to look at the smudges of make-up on the slip that dangled from Demyx’s hand.

“O-o-o-o-o-o-fuckgoddammitmonkeypisssss-s-sure”

Axel laughed to keep from crying and Demyx grinned. He knew people laughed at his disorder-he didn’t care. They descended the stairs and yelled goodbyes over their shoulders (Demyx waved) as they walked out the front door into the afternoon.

There was already a little nip in the air and Axel felt even more of a chill as the wind blew. Demyx tucked his borrowed slip into his back pocket and it swung behind him as he walked. Axel had to ask, “So Dem, I gotta know- is that slip gonna be displayed like some kind of trophy in our room now, or what?”

Demyx started to laugh as he grabbed the slip and pressed it to his face, then tucked it into the waistband of his jeans not missing a step as they approached their dorm. “N-n-n-n-n-o way! This i-i-i-i-i-isfor later!!”

Axel groaned loudly laughing and covering his face. “Sorry I asked man.”


	4. D-D-D-DEMYX

D-D-D-DEMYX

  


The four brothers lay on their backs on the floor with their heads underneath the coffee table. Vanitas gazed up through the thick glass top at the hookah, thinking how it looked like a deformed octopus with only four tentacles.

Vanitas: “What you guys think of Red?”

Sora: “Hot.”

Roxas: (grunt of assent)

Ventus: “hmmph”

Vanitas: “I don’t know if I’mma like him bein in my face all the time.”

Sora: “Liar”

Roxas: (grunt of assent with snicker)

Ventus: “Maybe you want him somewhere besides your face, bro?”

Vanitas: “Shut up, dumbass. It’s not like that. I like him fine I just wonder if he's like, ya know, gonna still be the same after his little study is over. Or if he’s gonna blow town and we won’t see him anymore.”

Sora: “Damn Vani, I didn’t think it was like that!” (cackle)

Roxas: (hyena laughter)

Ventus: “Guys be serious a sec.”

Vanitas: “Thanks Ven”

Ventus: “I did a little research on our new study buddy and I shared all found out but for some reason, he seems to not want us to know much about him. I don’t see how that would figure into his study-keeping things from us, I mean- but when I mentioned his twin, he looked a little freaked out.”

Sora: “What if he murdered his twin!”

Roxas: (grabs Sora’s hand)

Vanitas: “Come on Sora, really?”

Ventus: “Jesus Howard Christ. Fire up the hookah. Sora, get some ice. Axel hasn’t murdered his twin.”

Sora: (whispers) “He’s a killer…” (eyes getting bigger)

Roxas: (fiendish grin) “He could’ve, Ven. You don’t know. What if he thinks he can use his twin psychology to make one of us into a murderer? What if he thinks one of us is a crazy like him? And what if one of us iiiiisssssss?”

Sora: “IIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!” (the violin, E7 at roughly 90dB)

Vanitas: “Goddammit Rox.”

  


Back at the dorms, Axel and Demyx are busy with their own preparations for the week when Axel decided to start on Demyx’s case.

“Hey Demyx, if you don’t mind me asking, what meds do you take for your conditions?”

“H-h-Haldol a-a-a-a-a-a-and P-Prozac. I-i-i-i-i-it g-gets ssssssssstolen f-f-fr-fromhere.” he pointed to his small lock box under the edge of his bed.

Axel thought for a second and offered, “Dude, I could help you, I mean you know, if you don’t mind. I can hook you up with some replacement meds and my brother could possibly supply a better place to stash them.”

“Th-th-th-that w-would be g-g-g-g-g-goddammshitfuckmoose!-awesome!” Demyx smiled, looking quite relieved.

“Cool, I’m going to step outside and call him now, so if you want to write down your dosages, I can have him send them. Hopefully it won’t take him too long to get back to me.” Axel didn’t bother closing his laptop as he got up from his desk and stretched. Demyx handed him the info he had asked for with a smile and a nod, forgoing another painfully drawn out thanks. Axel nodded on his way out, slid down the handrail, and then stepped out into the afternoon to call Reno.

He held his breath as he waited for Reno to answer or the voice mail to pick up. He had done that as long as he could remember. “What ya want Runt? I’m workin tonight.” Reno said as Axel released his breath.

“One- when are you coming to visit me? Two- I have a friend who needs medicine and a safe place to keep it. Three- why did you pick this place for my study? Four- don’t you work with a Strife? Five- I love you. Six- when are you coming to see me?” Axel stood and waited as his eyes scanned the beautiful campus that reminded him of the backdrop for a funeral but he couldn’t figure out why.

Their version of a conversation when Reno was busy sounded more like a telemarketer q and a than a conversation. It was quick and to the point. They had developed the system out of necessity back when they hustled. Timing was everything and one slip-up could’ve blown their cover.

“One- as soon as I’m done here. Two- gimme the details. Three- none of ya business. Four- also none of ya business. Five- I love you too. Six- goddammit Runt, Friday ok?” Reno sounded like he was smiling so Axel smiled too. “I’ll text you the details on two, thanks and see you Friday.” He half expected Reno to just hang up and text, but there was a pause on the line and then “Ya makin friends already, yo?”

Axel wanted to tell Reno everything but he knew he was short on time, “Yeah it’s the guy I’m rooming with. He has some, um, issues.”

“Clearly. Text me.” (click) and Reno was gone again.

Axel walked back into the dorm, grabbed his laptop and fell across his bed. “He’ll be here Friday. Hopefully with some goodies for you.”

“Sssssssweet.” Demyx said. “Y-y-y-y-you bringing h-hh-h-im to the S-sssssstrife’s?”

“If he has time to hang around, yeah. His job is pretty demanding, but he tries to make time for me. He’s my only family really.” Axel said and the memory of reading about his father’s death in the paper fluttered across his mind and his right eye blinked twice. He could smell the coffee brewing and bacon frying…

_Reno had been home for a weekend, Axel was still adjusting to his Elavil after his release from the hospital and subsequent return of his shoelaces… “Dad’s dead, Reno.”_

_Reno turned toward him wearing that stupid apron-the one with the chilies all over it that said hot stuff, “Good, bout time, how many eggs ya want Runt?” That was that._

“How about you Demyx?” Axel asked when he surfaced from his memories and clicked over to his file labeled DX to begin typing all the information he had gathered on Demyx up to that point.

“N-n-n-n-no  motherfuckingcocksuckingwhoreass-ass-ass!!f-family. I-I-I-I-I-I’M an o-o-o-o-orphan. W-w-w-w-was adop-ted a f-f-few t-t-t-times, b-b-ut none for k-k-keeps.”

Axel had stopped typing and was staring at Demyx as he spoke (stuttered) so casually about being an orphan. _But_ , Axel reasoned, _you can’t miss what you never had_.

“I j-j-just fo-fo-fo-focused on g-g-g-getting out.” At this point Demyx walked over to the window where he sat down and lit up a joint, “During high s-s-school, I w-w-wworked and s-s-s-saved the m-m-mmoney f-for fuckshitgoddamncuntass!! freshmmmmman y-y-year a-a-and c-came h-e-he-here.”

“Wow, Dem, just wow. That’s some dedication! What’d you do? Work three jobs or something?” Axel asked, marveling at the man before him (he was no kid, even if he was just 19). “N-nope. Just w-w-one.” Demyx looked at Axel and grinned as he smoked his herbal medication. “I was a wh-whore.”

Once again Axel’s mind went into overdrive. One side was the calculating the cost of tuition plus books plus residence plus expenses, and holy shit balls, the other side was trying to figure how many hours of “work” he had to do and how much was he getting paid?! It was obviously showing on his face because Demyx lit another joint and passed it to Axel, motioning for him to join him at the window. Axel moved and sat and could only stare at the impossible blue eyes that reflected peace and happiness. Demyx smiled, “C-close your mouth Red, hehe, you’re m-making me feel a l-little self-conscious.”

“S-sorry man! I didn’t mean to stare, I mean you are um, a well, I mean, you know, but that’s. That’s a lot of fucking money, dude! And I was just trying to well, I mean you’re hot and all, but goddam, Dem! That’s a lot of money!” Axel could have been more articulate but Demyx seemed to understand.

“Yeah, it was a l-lot of m-m-money, but I had a client who cared a LOT about p-people not finding out h-h-he was f-fucking a 17-year-old. I had b-been seeing him twice a w-week for at least a y-year before he knew h-h-how old I was. H-he has m-m-more money than he n-n-needs, so h-he said h-he w-would pay for my education if I w-would stop working. He k-k-kept seeing me a-and giving me st-stuff, but when things got bad, I t-told him I was done. H-he had someone else all along s-so it was no big.”

Axel was entranced, “So this rich guy, he doesn’t bother you anymore. You and Ventus, is that a thing, thing? Or, I mean, are you guys dating?”

“No we j-just fuck,” Demyx shared, “so if you w-want to, I mean, you know, with him, I won’t be mad.” Axel watched his hands and his feet (twitch, shuffle) and knew that was a lie, but he understood why Demyx said it. In that moment Axel decided he would never touch Ventus. He would never do anything to hurt Demyx. Demyx grew up alone in the world, without a Reno, without parents, even shitty ones. Axel didn’t even make it a year on his own. He felt small and insignificant in the presence of this superhuman. He watched as Demyx closed the window, turned his blood-shot eyes to him as if he hadn’t just imparted the wisdom of ages and winked. “Let’s go eat, Red.”

  


The Strife brothers were gathered around the computer talking to their dad via skype. “How’s it going guys?”

“Great Dad!” Sora beamed and Roxas smiled, “Yeah Dad, it’s great.”

“We’re participating in a psychological study about twins and multiples with this guy named Axel Sinclair,” Vanitas was looking curiously at his dad’s hair while he spoke but didn’t mention anything amiss.

“He seems pretty ok, he’s not from here,” Ventus added coolly.

“Hot,” whispered Roxas.

“That sounds interesting. I thought I might come see you guys this weekend, maybe get some dinner. Is that good?” He always asked before he came to visit but they had never put him off or turned him down. Their mom died shortly after they were born and he had raised them on his own with some help from his good friends who the boys informally adopted as “uncles”.

They had always been good kids and he felt like they had a good relationship, but lately he had been worried. Stories circulated and their surname had come up more than once in drug related incidents. He had to be sure they were ok.

“Yeah Dad, sure! We haven’t had dinner together in forever,”

“Cool,” Roxas nodded.

“Hey, you can meet our study buddy, yeah?” Vanitas grinned as he realized that it wasn’t Cloud’s hair at all, it was his shirt. The collar was jacked because it was buttoned wrong. He still said nothing.

Ventus elbowed his ribs hissing “Won’t that be weird?”

“No dumbass, he needs that shit for his study anyhow.” Vanitas elbowed back.

“Language Vanitas! I have literally been saying that since you were a baby!” Cloud Strife’s blue eyes glittered as they stared out from the screen. Four sets of identical blue eyes stared back. Four identical pouty mouths said in unison, “Sorry Dad.”

“It’s ok boys, I miss you. It’s too damn quiet here when you go back to school,” Cloud looked lovingly at his sons, thinking of how far they had come since diaper days.

“We miss you too Dad, say hi to Uncle Vince.” Vanitas crowed and walked away.

“Looking forward to Friday. Say hi to Uncle Cid, kay,” Ventus blew him kisses.

“We love you Dad,” Roxas waved and was bumped by Sora. “Huuurrrrryyyyy uuuuuup!!”

  


Cloud closed his laptop, picked up his coffee, and turned to Reno, “That went well.”

Reno raised his eyebrows and then reached out to fix Cloud’s collar, “I still think this could go bad for you, yo. I could tell Axel I can’t make it until Saturday. You can have dinner with ya Stepford kids and tha Runt and I can roll through on Saturday.”

“You really think that would be better?” Cloud had been weighing the possibility of trying to fool all four of his boys into thinking he and Reno were total strangers or mere co-workers if the happened to run into one another on campus.

“It’s a waaaaay better plan, yo. I know me and when I get a little buzzed I’ll be all over you, baby, and I won’t give a damn who’s watchin!” Reno sat his coffee down and stood to put on his jacket. He loved the way Cloud blushed, it was too cute.

“Okay then, talk to Axel and text me later.” Cloud relented as he turned to watch Reno walk toward the door. “And stop calling me baby.”

He looked back at Cloud while he was pulling his hair up into its usual ponytail and winked, “I really should stop that, yo. After all, you’re the one robbing the cradle.”


	5. CHOICES

CHOICES

  


The Strife didn’t always party mid-week but if Cloud was coming to visit…

Roxas lay panting with his head against the wall hoping he could last a few more minutes- it felt so good he didn't want it to end. Riku had cornered him in his room during and after locking the door, they fought about Sora and proceeded to do what they did: snort coke and fuck. They hadn't made it to the fucking quite yet and Riku was three fingers deep in the blonde’s ass with his dick down his throat.

"Riku Goddammit pleease...” Roxas whined while the music blared from downstairs. Riku ignored him and swallowed again making him jerk all over and squeak. He knew those reactions from Roxas, and knew what came next so he pulled off him, leaving a trail of drool across his stomach, and shoved his knees up to his chest.

"Riku...yer No!!! Your NOSE!!!" Roxas howled as Riku shoved inside all at once and blood spurted from his nose, then slowed to a steady drip onto Roxas’ chest and neck.

Riku ignored Roxas from time to time and he was ignoring him now because he knew his fucking nose was bleeding…he just didn’t care. Smirking down at the blonde who was trying to get his breathing under control, he continued to ignore him as he began a tortuous rhythm.

Roxas looked up at his bleeding God and wanted to scream. Riku's eyes were black holes and the blood covered his mouth and chin made him look like a demon. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to focus on the feelings...and there were lots of those. Feelings of guilt, feelings of love, lust, want, addiction, feelings of fear. Feelings of hot, wet, smooth skin and need...so much need.

The sound of Riku moaning and the sharp pain of teeth breaking skin opened his eyes and pulled him from his reverie. He gasped as he came and Riku growled at the pressure from contracting muscles and nails in his flesh. but didn’t back off at all.

Roxas panted as he felt sticky hands slip behind his shoulders and long fingers curl around so he couldn't wiggle away. He felt the tacky blood on his neck and chest as Riku mumbled into his ear. "Stay with me Roxaaas...let me keep you...you don't understand. I need you."

Roxas tried to process that another person needed him _. There was no way Riku could mean what he was saying. It had to be the dope. Was he crying?_

He could feel his fingers digging into his shoulders as he finished, and he held back a scream as he felt the release inside him. He reveled in being so close to someone so beautiful- It was like how people must have felt who knew Jesus, he thought as he lay under the still bleeding junkie who claimed him.

The two lay entangled, trying to get their breath, hearts still pounding, and Riku’s nose still dripping blood. He rubbed Roxas’ legs and laid his head against his skin, sticky with blood sweat and come.

Suddenly someone banged on the door. "Roxas!"

Wide blue eyes looked at Riku pleadingly as he stared right back at him, and didn't move.

"Roxas!"

It sounded like Sora, and Roxas knew there would be hell to pay if Sora caught him fucking anyone without him…especially a guy… especially Riku. When people said that they were the closest of the quads they had no idea.

Riku instantly felt disappointed and ashamed. _I’ll never be anything more than just a fuck and a dealer to this guy. Why am I torturing myself? Oh yeah...because I’m in love with_ _him._ "I'll hide." he whispered to the blonde.

Roxas scooted out of bed and into the bathroom pulling Riku by the hand. He followed obediently and they washed the blood from one another before Roxas grabbed some clean clothes. The knocking on the door had stopped but he knew the person had probably just gone to look for him somewhere else, and would return.

"Give me ten minutes before you come down ok?" Roxas hissed as Riku stared at him sadly and nodded.

  


Downstairs Roxas rejoined the party like he hadn't been hidden away with his secret lover and no one bothered to ask where he had been...or maybe they were too stoned to notice. He kept an eye out but never saw Riku come down.

As people began to crash or leave Strife House, he looked for him briefly and discreetly, wondering if he had slipped past and he was just too wasted to notice. He couldn't decide if he hoped he had, or if he hoped he found him naked in his bed when he went upstairs.

Turning his eyes toward the second story landing a shadow caught his eye. "G'night guys." He called out as he began to ascend. About halfway of the stairs he realized he hadn't seen Sora in a while either. It wasn't like him to go to bed without making a big production out of it- Screaming to everyone and sniffing all the bodies he had to pass on the way to his room.

He stood outside Sora's door and all he heard was snoring. Moving on to his own room, he turned on the lamp and was greeted with the mess he had left earlier. Sighing, he turned the lamp back off and went back down the hall to crawl into bed with Sora anyhow.

Sora rolled toward him, open-mouth snoring with his eyes cracked open just a slit. _Creepy_ , Roxas thought as he snuggled in beside him. Smelling the clean sweet scent of the sheets was like heaven and he thought of how much he needed to do the following day. He fell asleep thinking about cleaning and laundry.

  


Across campus Riku sat alone in his dorm with a needle still stuck in a vein. The only light was from his lamp but it reflected off thousands of shards of broken glass on the floor, projecting fake stars onto the ceiling and walls. He thought of Roxas and how he would never be good enough to be claimed by him. He would never want anyone to know... _ever_.

When he had sneaked out of Roxas' room he had gone to skate the cemetery. After getting tired and burning off his blow he had gone to his dorm to find a note from Xemnas.

_Dear Riku, Your mother and I have made some decisions concerning your future that we need to discuss with you as you will be twenty-one. Do not make social plans for your birthday. Meet me at my office before four p.m. dress is formal, do not be late, do not bring a guest.    Xemnas_

Riku had read it and gone to shower, thinking his dad was very gracious to give him such a lengthy notice... of course it would probably be followed by weekly reminders leading up to his birthday. After his shower he looked into the mirror and stared at his reflection until he began to look like a demon, and then he smashed the mirror...then went on to smash every breakable reflective surface in the dorm. Bleeding, exhausted, and surrounded by broken glass, he spiked a vein and nodded off right there on the floor...thinking of Roxas.

  


The following day Roxas came by Sawyer for more drugs. “You need to clean up for a while, Rox.” Riku mumbled as he turned his back to him while he scavenged the stash in his closet.

Roxas watched him and thought about what he said and it pissed him off a little. “Would it be wise to take advice from another junkie?”

Riku turned slowly and looked at him like he had grown horns and a tail. He knew his junkie status but Roxas had never thrown it in his face like that before. There were aspects of his personality that Roxas had never seen, and he had never planned on letting him see…but maybe just this once. “Fuck you, Roxas. Here’s your shit. Pay me…bitch.”

Roxas was beyond pissed off but it never crossed his mind that Riku might be hurt by the way he continually shunned him in public. Riku scolding him was clearly a case of a pot and a kettle but demanding payment and calling him a bitch after he claimed to care so much about him was crossing the line. “How do you want it Riku? Cash or ass? And I’m not your bitch!”

“I clearly don’t need your money…and I don’t trust you to suck my dick when you’re pissed…so…” Riku said as he approached Roxas and shoved him toward the bed.

“What if I don’t wanna fuck you when you’re being an asshole?” Roxas snapped.

Riku smiled and took the three black balloons out of his hand. “Then don’t. Take your ass downtown to the fuckin corner to get your shit, _Roxas_.” he tossed the brown on the table and stared him down. “You call me a goddamn junkie and expect me to just play nice? Do you ever listen to the fuckin things that come out of your mouth?”

Roxas rolled his eyes, “I don’t have to listen to this shit. You’re _not_ my boyfriend, you’re _not_ my dad, and you’re _not_ my brother. Fuck you, Riku!” He shoved past him toward the door.

“One thing’s for sure, if I _were_ your brother, you would fuck me whether I had dope or not.” Riku snorted, an eerie calm coming over him.

Roxas turned and launched himself at the grinning dealer and swung at his face. Riku grabbed the arm and shoved it away easily. “I don’t wanna fight Rox. Just fuckin…go cool off.”

Just as Riku finished speaking Roxas got him with an uppercut. The sound of his teeth clicking together sounded like bone breaking and Roxas was afraid for a second that he had broken his hand. Riku grabbed both his wrists, not even bothering to touch his injured face which Roxas thought was odd because… _wasn’t that a reflex?_

Blue eyes witnessed the life leaving Riku’s eyes. He stared blankly as he escorted Roxas to the door, opened it and shoved him out, slamming it shut. Roxas fumed. Riku was pissed now and how was he supposed to get drugs? He could apologize…puffing his hair out of his eyes, he mumbled, “I’m sorry Riku.”

The door opened a crack and the balloons were tossed at his feet. Riku lit a cigarette and waited to watch him pick them up. Nothing reminded Riku of where he was on the food chain like watching another junkie scrounge for dope. “Tell me Roxas…is Sora a good fuck?”

Roxas looked up from his spot in the hallway on his knees and didn’t like what he saw in Riku’s eyes. “You wouldn’t.” Roxas said and his tone almost sounded like a plea.

“I _would_ ….and worse.” Riku said, blowing smoke and Roxas saw blood on his cigarette filter.

“There _is_ nothing worse…” Roxas mumbled as he started to stand, shoving the drugs into his hoodie.

“There isn’t?” Riku asked as Roxas stared at him trying to figure him out. “I seem to recall a comment my mother made… you look just like him.”

He lowered his eyes submissively and slumped. “Please don’t, Riku…I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what, Roxas? Calling me a _junkie_? Treating me like I’m _nothing_ to you? Or hitting me in the FACE?” Riku snarled and grabbed Roxas’ arm, dragging him over into a rough kiss.

“All of it.” Roxas breathed as he kissed him back. They stumbled back inside the dorm, got high, and fucked like they had never been mad.

  


Later at Strife House, Roxas was working on his laptop when Sora came over to him and sniffed. Roxas nearly panicked. _The one fucking time I didn’t shower as soon as I got home and Sniffing Sora comes around._ Roxas growled making Sora jump. “Sorry Roxy…you smell nice.”

“Thanks, Sor…sorry for bein grumpy…just not in the best mood.” Roxas said quietly.

“I understand.” Sora chirped as his phone buzzed. He checked it and giggled, and walked away texting.

Roxas looked up suspiciously and then text Riku.

Roxas: ru txtin Sora rt now?

Riku: yes Y?

Roxas: because I don’t like it

Riku: Y?

Roxas: because you’re (erase) because he’s (erase)

Roxas: I just don’t

Riku: I asked u Y?

Roxas: u can’t have us both

Riku: neither can u


	6. SHARXENE

SHARXENE

  


Demyx left to go to classes and Axel was alone. He had the schedules of all the Strife but decided that he wasn’t going to follow them to their classes for a week or two at least. He would go over in the afternoon and get started. Reno had text him at some point in the night saying that he wasn’t going to make it Friday but he would definitely be there Saturday. Either way Axel was looking forward to spending some time with him.

His mind kept going back to Demyx. He thought about all he had told him the day before and wondered if he would eventually reveal more. He made a few notes of things he wanted to know about his life, but hoped he didn’t have to ask. Packing up his work and grabbing his keys, Axel headed out. Twilight Town was not a huge metropolis, but a college town is a college town. He needed to do a little dorm shopping and get Reno’s favorite coffee.

  


Professor Saix was prepared for his first day at TU, or so he thought. He had organized his notes, prepared his power point, he had even put a small, very neat and exactly symmetrical box of square candies on his desk. He was pleased with how everything looked when his class began to enter. Once all were seated, he stood to introduce himself and recite the syllabus. He scanned the room once and stalled before he could even get his greeting out.

There in front of him were four boys seated in seats 2-5 on row D. The boys were the same, but not. They were clearly brothers, but one was a more faded copy of the previous one. Seat 2D had dark hair, maybe even black, but on the other end of the spectrum, seat 5D was blonde! It made Saix think of his printer when it gave a low ink alert. He winced. He tried once again to speak but then they looked up to give him their full attention and he was dumbstruck once again. He wanted to move them to the center of the class immediately so that there would be an even number of seats around them. They could _not_ continue to sit where they were. It would drive him mad if he had to look much longer. He suddenly realized that he was staring and needed to collect himself and get to work.

“Welcome to Renaissance literature, I am your instructor Dr. Saix.” _Oh God help me; how do I get them to move_? Saix was starting to tap his finger on the podium. “We will be covering the works I have chosen at a rapid pace- _maybe I should take out a row of seats before tomorrow’s class_ -so I hope you are somewhat familiar with at least some of these.” _Why can I not stop looking!!_ “The reason for the pace is because I feel all these works are important for you to understand the period and the progression of literature henceforth.” _They’re all very attentive and- THEY ARE SITTING IN THE SAME POSITION, THEY ARE ALL RIGHT HANDED, THEY ALL HAVE THE SAME PEN!!!!!_ “I won’t keep you today. You have your syllabi and probably need to collect materials from the bookstore” _I’m rambling- I do NOT ramble!_ “Be prepared for discussion tomorrow and also if you have questions, they will be addressed at the beginning of class.” Saix stood by his desk as his students filed out, except for those- _oh no_. The Strife approached the professor, smiling.

The four stood shoulder to shoulder in front of him. He was slightly relieved that they were perfectly distributed so that not one was directly in front of him (His heart wouldn’t have withstood it). They cocked their heads to the right in unison and said,

“We just wanted to say welcome.” (Vanitas)

“To Twilight University, Dr. Saix.” (Sora)

“And we wanted to ask if…” (Ventus)

“If it would be ok for us to, you know…” (Roxas)

“Do project work” (Vanitas)

“Together? Please?” (all)

Saix was worried that he was visibly sweating as he remembered every twin he had ever read about from mythology to The Shining. He had almost reached his breaking point when he realized his opening. He was saved!

“Well thank you, young men. Yes, I don’t see that there would be a problem with how ever you would like to do your project work, but I do have one condition, if you please?”

The Strife looked at one another, wondering what he wanted from them. They were just messing with his head because he was new and didn’t expect him to recover so quickly from what looked like a meltdown in the making.

“Sure,” Roxas said, eyeing him suspiciously, “Shoot.”

Saix breezed past the boys to the center of the classroom, stopped, and turned smiling a relaxed and delighted smile. “If you all could sit in seats 3-6 on row C,” Saix motioned to the seats as the boys all stared, “and also in order from darkest hair color to lightest, please. Every day.”

He looked at four identical, dumbfounded expressions, and one ticking blue eye (Sora). “Or lightest to darkest, either way will be acceptable!” Saix was giving them what he felt were perfectly acceptable conditions. They nodded in unison.

“Wonderful!” he exclaimed clasping his hands in front of his chest, “Then I will see you gentlemen in the morning for class!”

The four left without another word, feeling as though they had just gotten one-upped. “That was fucked up,” Vanitas grumbled as they walked across the quad. Roxas and Ventus grunted their agreement.

Sora was whispering to himself more so than to his brothers, “We gotta up our game with that one…he’s gonna be a tough nut to crack, yeah. He’s batshit crazy already.”

Vanitas, Roxas, and Ventus grunted.

They walked along together, two by two, in perfect step not noticing the stares they were getting from the new kids. They didn’t pay attention to the whispers or when people bumped into things because they were staring. It had been like that as long as they could remember. Ventus checked his phone and announced, “Hey guys I’ll catch you later in the caf. Dem said his class is cancelled so I’m going by the dorm.”

“I’m meeting Riku,” chirped Sora.

Vanitas and Roxas grunted and carried on as the other two split off. “So, what do you think about the whole Riku and Sora thing?” Roxas tried to hide his emotions, hoping just this once that Vanitas didn’t bust him.

“Is it a thing? I knew there was a kiss, but is it a thing, thing?” the tattooed artist pondered but didn’t seem to pick up on anything in Roxas’ demeanor.

“I think it will be soon if it isn’t already. He better not hurt Sora. I’ll kick his fucking ass. I don’t care if he is Dean Mansex’s kid,”

“I know he’s around Zex a lot, and that’s prolly not a good thing but we gotta let Sora do his thing ya know. I mean we can’t pick for him.” Vanitas was trying to diffuse Roxas’ temper.

Roxas grunted. “I like our study buddy. He’s hot.”

Vanitas grinned and shoulder checked his fair-haired brother, “I kinda figured ya did.”

Roxas smiled and blushed, “Is Namine still pissed at you?”

“Yep,” Vanitas giggled.

  


Axel returned to the dorm loaded down with bags to find a sock on the doorknob. “Fuck my life.” he mumbled and sat his things down by the door. He checked his watch and decided to sit downstairs until he got the all-clear. He had a pretty good idea who was in there with Demyx, but he sure wasn’t going to stand there and wait. He had just gotten comfortable on the old sofa when Larxene (sharxene) popped over and sat beside him.

“So, Axel. How do you like it here so far?”

“It’s nice. Everything is old, I like that. The people seem nice enough too,” Axel said in his best _this conversation is so generic I could blow my brains_ out voice.

“Why don’t you tell me what you _really_ think, torch?” Larxene asked as she entered his personal space aggressively. Axel looked her over and calculated his risk and thought for a second of consequences before he said, “The parties are excellent, my RA is pretty hot, but I haven’t had my dick sucked since I got here.”

Larxene grinned with all her predatory beauty. “I told you I am here to help.” She reached for Axel’s shirt as she stood. He followed her obediently to her room and locked the door behind them. The clicking of the lock echoed through the room and there was a second of silence as she went to her ipod. The music she turned on was a little louder than he expected, but he thought it better to just go with it.

He pulled his shirt over his head and watched her expression as she approached him, looking at his body like she was studying it. She trailed her hands up his chest and gently pushed him backward toward a chair. He stopped when the backs of his legs touched it and before he could say a word, she had popped the buttons on his jeans and was sliding them down his thighs. Her hands were warm and even though Axel was focused on the sensations of heat and moisture as her lips touched his chest and stomach he felt a twinge of apprehension. She tugged his pants further down to his knees and pulled at his hips, urging him to sit.

He sat down and looked into her eyes, sparkling and a little scary. She caressed his thighs as smiling lips kissed and teased and nipped at his hips. Axel's breath quickened as she took his cock with both her small hands and ran her tongue from base to tip. She groaned “god you're huge” as she swallowed him down. He couldn't breathe. He reached for her face to caress her cheek but as soon as contact was made she pulled away and sneered "Hands on the chair."

Jerking his hand back, he whispered, "S-sorry." and gripped the arms of the chair with both hands as she pushed his pants down to his ankles and spread his legs roughly. He thought he caught a glimpse of the shark grin as she lowered her head again.

  


Axel was not naive. Women had been using him since he was in middle school and he had used them right back. He traded sex for food, gifts, grades… to ditch a big assignment, once for a place on a weeklong field trip that he didn't want to pay for _. Reno found out and beat his ass_. He had paid for his own place on the trip and assumed Axel had done the same. He couldn't stay mad at his twin though because the trip had cost $1200. That was a pretty good deal for banging his high school English teacher.

Axel dug his fingers into the chair and groaned, "God....damn...” Every time he was about to come she would grip the base of his cock and squeeze while she kissed and sucked and waited for him to calm down. After the fourth denial he was sweating and cursing. He growled as she pulled at his hips wanting him to move to the edge of the chair, which he did obediently. Her hands were slick as she slipped a finger inside him, then a second. He let go of the chair and reached for her, just wanting the contact, only wanting to reciprocate in any way. She snarled, "Chair! Or it stops!" 

"Chair chair chair!" he squeaked as he dutifully replaced his hands on the chair and she added one more finger. This time when he was ready to finish she let him. Panting, his entire body covered in a sheen of sweat, Axel watched as Larxene stood up in front of him. She was still fully dressed, her hands were wet and sticky, and her cheeks were flushed but not a hair was out of place.

"That was amazing. Let me do something for you.” he said as he sat up and leaned toward her.

“That’s so sweet," she grinned down at him, "you think you can do something for me."

Axel was stunned and a little embarrassed. That's probably what she was going for because after assessing the damage conveyed by his expression, she turned and walked away to the bathroom, leaving him to get his shit together and get out.

  


Ventus exited Demyx's room and almost tripped over a pile of bags sitting by the door. "What the fuck..." he mumbled as he saw Axel dragging up the stairs sliding along the wall, looking a hot mess. Ventus grinned, "Sorry about that, dude."

"No problem, Ven," Axel mumbled as he started to collect his bags.

"Looks like Larxene kept you company though."

Axel stopped what he was doing and looked up at Ventus' amused gaze. “Why yes, yes she did."

And with that they both burst out laughing. Ventus helped him get his things inside where Demyx was sound asleep in bed with one foot hanging over the edge and his pillow over his head to block what little sunlight filtered in through the window.

"Should I check to see if he's breathing?" Axel whispered as they chuckled quietly.

"He's fine, I promise. I wouldn't hurt him," Ventus stepped toward the door to leave but stopped short as Axel asked, “You’re sure about that?”

He turned to see the seriousness on redhead's face, then nodded in understanding and left.

  


After everything was put away and Axel was showered and getting ready to leave for the Strife house for his study, Demyx began to stir. "Well if it isn't sleeping beauty," Axel smiled.

Demyx bolted upright, eyes as big as saucers and his head jerking to the right violently. "Wh-wh-wh-wh-what-th-th-the-f-f-f-f-fgoddammitshitfuckpiss!!!!"

Axel bit his lip and dropped his head trying desperately not to laugh. He dropped a few more items into his messenger bag, giving Demyx a minute to get oriented before he spoke. "Sleep well?" Hard as he tried Axel couldn't keep the amusement out if his voice.

"F-f-f-fuckin c-c-coma," Demyx yawned. "Y-y-y-you g-going to w-w-w-work on the ssssstrife b-b-b-b-b-guys?"

"Yep. Say Dem, can I ask you something?” Demyx nodded, looking over as he pulled on his sweats and looked around for his shirt.

"I am grateful that you told me about yourself and I don't want to pry, but ...are you...I don't know...I mean...do you...um..." Axel floundered.

"G-g-g-g-godddam, ha ha ha!!!! N-n-n-no w-wonder th-they p-p-p-p-put you in w-with m-m-me!" Demyx laughed as a blush crept up Axel's cheeks. "I d-d-don't t-t-tell everyone m-m-my life s-s-s-story. B-b-b-but y-you r-r-r-remind m-m-me of ssomeone I u-u-u-used to know."

Axel was touched and it must have showed on his face because Demyx walked over to him and put his hand on his shoulder.

"H-h-h-he w-w-was a b-big p-p-part of m-me g-g-getting away f-f-from that r-r-rich guy. He w-w-was a g-g-good g-g-guy l-l-like y-you."

He steeled his expression but he wanted to scream, _I'm not a good guy! I’m a murderer!_ He didn't. He wanted to scream, _I don't deserve a friend like you!_ But he didn't. He felt his eyes start to burn, and turned his face away from Demyx and mumbled, "I just. I-I'm gonna look out for you, Demyx. Because you're a good guy too, ok?"

Demyx grinned and gave Axel a big bear hug. "Y-y-y-you're a-a-awesome, A-a-a-ax!"


	7. SCENTS AND SENSIBILITY

SCENTS AND SENSIBILITY

  


Sora scrambled up the steps of their home and fumbled briefly with the lock, practically falling through the doorway. He immediately slammed the door shut and leaned against it, sneakers squeaking as he slid to the floor panting. His heart was pounding as he scanned the room to see evidence of anyone else being there. It looked as if no one was home yet. He dashed up the stairs to his room, dropped his book bag and stripped.

His meeting with Riku had been pretty uneventful. Riku apologized for kissing him at the party. He explained that he was wasted out of his mind and hoped “that doesn’t damage our friendship”. Sora decided Riku had to be the thickest motherfucker he had ever tried to flirt with or Riku didn't like him and just didn't want to say. Either way he had to get these clothes off ASAP. Riku had hugged him briefly but oh god that smell.

Sora bunched his shirt and pants into a basketball sized wad and slapped it over his face as he fell across his bed. He breathed deeply through his nose (ooohhh god Riikuuu). He took another deep breath. And another...

Downstairs the door opened again, and Roxas and Vanitas came inside trailed by Ventus. They were all chatting about their classes and a bit of teasing Ventus about his conjugal visits with Demyx. The absence of their fourth was soon noticed. "Where the fuck is Sora?"

"Donno Rox," mumbled Vanitas, “Soraaa!!!!” Silence. "Maybe he beat us here. Let's check upstairs."

Roxas climbed the stairs grumbling about silver-haired assholes with Ventus and Vanitas close on his heels. He walked into Sora's room without knocking and stopped dead right inside the doorway.

"Damn," sighed Ventus.

"He did it again," said Vanitas.

"Motherfucker," growled Roxas.

"Don't, Rox, just don't ok," Vanitas scolded as he went into the bathroom to wet a washcloth, "it'll be ok. If Sora really likes this guy that much, then we have to back off. We can look out for him… but we can’t choose who he dates." He walked over to start wiping Sora's face with the cloth.

"It'll be just like when he started drinking wine with that crazy homeless lady!" Roxas interrupted.

"Still does," Ventus almost whispered.

“My point exactly!” Roxas barked.

"Shut up Rox! Goddammit!" Vanitas had enough of Roxas’ temper. He just wanted to wake Sora up.

 

Roxas stalked back down the stairs cursing and as he descended his eyes met with acid green, and he was completely disarmed. Axel's eyes were so green, his skin was so pale and perfect, his legs were so long and _oh godfuckingdamn_ , _that hair_. He tried to play it off; like he wasn't stunned by the redhead standing in his den. He brushed past him and motioned him toward the kitchen. Axel followed and lay his bag on the island as he slid onto a bar stool.

"Ready to start? Chapter one! Sora hyperventilates while huffing his clothes because they smell like his latest obsession."

Axel watched Roxas grab two beers from the fridge and offer him one. He nodded and thanked him but then stayed silent to let him know he could vent if he needed to. Roxas sat on the stool directly across from Axel and looked at him -hair, eyes, tattoos, mouth, neck, shoulders, chest, and back to eyes. "Sora isn't right. I swear to fucking god. He has this thing about smelling everyfuckingthing. And now he's fixated on this Riku guy. And I don't trust him."

"Why not?" Axel asked quietly, hoping if he conveyed some serenity that Roxas would calm down.

"He hangs around with that junkie Zexion." Roxas downed a third of his beer.

Axel watched Roxas’ throat as he swallowed and his mouth went dry so he turned up his own beer. _Stop it Axel- this is important to your study_. "Maybe this Riku guy isn't as bad as that," he offered. "Sora seems like a great guy, albeit a little strange. Maybe he'll be good for Riku, you know. Do you know his story?"

"All I know about him is he's the Dean's kid. Dem said Dean Mansex made him transfer here so he could keep an eye on him. Apparently he had gone to Radiant Garden U initially but he got into some trouble there." Roxas paused like he was going to say more but didn't.

Axel took this in as he finished his beer. Roxas had calmed down and now he just looked sad. "So what do your brothers think?"

"Vanitas thinks I should let it go and Ventus hasn't really registered and opinion yet. He usually sides with Vani though." Roxas finished his own beer and tossed both bottles into recycling bins.

 

Vanitas, Ventus, and Sora walked into the kitchen talking, grunting and snickering. They all smiled at Axel and sat around the bar.

"What's the good word, study buddy?" Ventus grinned his most mischievous grin.

"Heard you had a run-in with Larxene," smiled Sora as he reached for the beer that Roxas was passing around. They all laughed, except Roxas, as Axel blushed and lowered his head in mock shame. "Yeah you guys could've warned me about that one. Go ahead and laugh it up. That one is a fucking sociopath- textbook case."

"I'm sure it wasn't that much of a hardship," chuckled Vanitas.

"Yeah don't be THAT GUY Axel!" Sora cackled as only he could. "Poor me, I had to let Larxene blow me while I waited on my roommate to fuck Ven."

They all roared, even Roxas, who was secretly relieved that Axel was obviously not interested in Larxene at all.

"Okay guys," Axel said when they all quieted down, "Since I have you all together, there's something I'd like to do, with your permission of course."

The quads looked at one another and shrugged and grunted their permission. Axel stood and walked around to their side of the island. "I'm going to do an observation and when I finish I will explain if you want or you can just trust me," he laughed, "I do ask however that you wait in another room until it’s your turn."

They laughed and scrambled out of the kitchen like they were fleeing for their lives, leaving Vanitas to be the guinea pig. Axel stood about a foot and a half from him. He typed with his right hand as his eyes darted over Vanitas features. Vanitas’ face was expressionless as he watched Axel. He reached and touched Vanitas hand and noted his reaction- slight jerk and one brow moved. He leaned closer to him and noted that he never broke eye contact but he had started tapping his finger… the speed of which was relative to his distance from his person. Backing off to a safe distance, he waved his hand vigorously and got no reaction at all.

Next was Ventus. Axel pecked away at his tablet and noted that Ventus was calm and still but blinked more than Vanitas- possibly due to the eye make-up. Axel touched his hand and he smiled and when he got close to his face he laughed, making Axel smile at the sweetness of it. When he raised his hand to wave, Ventus shrieked and laughed and batted it away.

Next was Roxas. He peered lazily at Axel's eyes during the assessment and when Axel touched his hand he flinched slightly but then smiled and blushed. When Axel leaned close to him Roxas’ breathing became a little shallower, his lips parted slightly, eyes fell to Axel’s mouth, and his smile broadened. Axel couldn't help but smile back as he noted a slight dilation of his pupils. When he raised his hand, Roxas’ hands went up defensively and his face lost all color. “It’s ok… I’m not going to hit you.”

Roxas nodded and lowered his hands but watched him warily.

“I didn’t mean to startle you… I just needed to see your reaction.” Axel lay his tablet aside and placed his hands gently on Roxas’ shoulders. He could feel a slight tremor and it hurt him to his core. “Are we good?”

Roxas nodded and blew out a breath.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Bout what?”

“Fighting.”

“No.” Roxas’ eyes darted to the left and then panned the room before he offered a smile. “Did I pass?”

“Yes.” Axel set him free with a smile but watched as a small piece of his soul hopped out of the room with him.

Sora was last. He was smiling from the start and giggled when Axel touched his hand. When Axel leaned close to his face, Sora's eyes grew wide and he took a deep breath through his nose. As he did his eyes began to sparkle and become wet. Then he licked Axel's face. The assessment was done.

  


The Strife and Axel migrated to the den to sit on the floor and have a communal smoke. Axel kept his tablet nearby and nobody seemed to care. After everyone was adequately mellow Axel spoke, "So I wanna know the story, the whole story. Parents, pets, the whole nine." Sora and Roxas looked at Ventus and Vanitas as if they were having a telepathic conversation.

"I'll start.” Ventus offered,” But we're going to have to smoke some more." They all laughed and dispersed momentarily to get ice, shot glasses, and a variety of liquors. Everyone settled down on the many pillows they had dragged out, and Sora arranged a few so he and Roxas would be on either side of Axel. It was determined after the assessment that he really liked the way he smelled. It should have been obvious after that first night because you really have to like someone's scent if you can sleep with your face in their pit.

"Our parents weren't married - Cloud Strife and Tifa Lockhart- Dad was a military man and mom was involved with a rebel group called Avalanche. Star-crossed lovers and such." Ventus paused to take a shot of vodka. He made a face, hit the bong and draped his arm over Vanitas. "Dad said he asked her to marry him but she turned him down because he wouldn't quit the military. Apparently it didn't stop them from fucking because well, we're here." Grunts all around and a snicker from Sora.

"I've read research stating that multiple births are more common in government and military families. Supposedly it’s due to medical treatment or some type of vaccination they’re given that isn't available to civilians, except on the black market. You guys know anything about that?" Axel queried as he drank his shot of tequila.

"Dad was treated by ShinRa scientists, and only them, so that could very possibly be why there are four of us," shared Vanitas. "Our mom had a difficult pregnancy and died shortly after we were born. Dad took us home to Costa del Sol and ShinRa offered him a position that involved less travel so he could be home with us every day. We had "uncles" who helped Dad with us when we were small and then he sent us to private school." Vanitas gulped down a shot of whiskey, leaned into Ventus and relaxed.

Sora turned to Axel, “We were smart but were holy terrors and got booted out of the two best private schools there before we were twelve. Dad found us a shrink and put us in public school "with the rest of the riff-raff” as Uncle Vince put it. Uncle Cid called us little assholes. We did well and graduated with honors. We were joint valedictorians." Sora hit the bong and turned up his bottle of cinnamon schnapps. "We’ve done all the typical teen-age stuff and I think Vani is the only one of us who has declared himself straight."

"Sora!" Ventus laughed, "Unnecessary!” Vanitas just smiled and shrugged in a very noncommittal way.

Axel smiled as Sora buried his face in his hair and breathed deeply. "Shit is like crack, Rox, how can you just sit there and not fully appreciate this?"

Roxas mumbled, “Weirdo” then turned his head to give a quick sniff.

"I was born last so I guess I'll fill in any blanks for you," Roxas sighed. Axel was at war again inside his head. One side said, _Ask about the disorders ya dope and stop mooning over him!_ The other side sang, “ _Look at the stars, look how they shine for you…”_

"What about Ven’s narcolepsy?  When was he diagnosed and do the rest of you have any disorders like his?" Axel asked before he hit the bong and had another shot of tequila.

"He was diagnosed at 15. Sora has OCD, _clearly_ and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. Vanitas is good. I was diagnosed and treated for depression when I was 16 and had to complete anger management and drug rehab. As far as I can tell the depression is the only disorder that could be genetic. Dad has been treated for depression as well. Also I look more like Dad than the others so that could be useful to your study I guess. You can judge for yourself on Friday because he's coming to visit."

They went completely drunken Stepford and said, “We want you to meet our daaaddyyy.”

Axel faked a very lady-like scream and put his hands over his heart. They collapsed into fits of giggles. Day one was a success.


	8. WHAT'S IN THE BOX

WHAT'S IN THE BOX

 

The next day Axel received a package. Demyx had already left for classes so Axel ambled around in his pajamas, making coffee and looking at the package warily. He hadn't bought anything online so it was probably from Reno, which meant it was probably booby trapped. Axel sighed and sipped his coffee.

The package sat on his desk. It was wrapped in plain brown shipping paper. _Why would Reno wrap a cardboard box_? He poked it with a pen. It was heavy enough to have a small safe and some meds. Reno had sent him packages before and there was always a catch. Now that he thought about it there was _always_ a catch with Reno. He lit a cigarette and opened the window. The weather was chilly but he continued to walk around in only his pajama bottoms. Chill bumps covered his skin as he stared down the package and smoked. He poked it again and grabbed his phone.

Axel: thanx fr tha pkg. Is it gonna kill me?

Reno: 2 early for ur cowardice. Txt me after u open

Axel: what if I'm unconscious??

Reno: I'll know if u don't txt back

Axel: what help will that b?? What if I m bleeding??

Reno: ur gonna b bleedin if u don't stop txtin me at stupid o'clock- open the box!

Axel: K

Reno: Goddammit Runt u kno I hate that shit! Just fr that I hope it blows up! Blows up & u & ur stupid letter K both get maimed.

Axel: lol :-p

He put out his cigarette and got a knife to start the delicate procedure. He paused, grabbed his robe and put it on backward, then stood as far away as possible to begin cutting open the package. The string popped off and nothing happened. Just to be safe Axel grabbed some sunglasses to protect his eyes before he proceeded. Using a pen to push the paper away, a bright purple box was revealed. He poked it, then turned it with the pen.

Squatting down so the box was at eye level, he reached carefully around so that he could raise the lid away from his face. It wouldn't budge. He growled and stood and glared at the box. _May as well bite the bullet_ , he thought as he adjusted his makeshift snuggie and safety glasses. He reached for the lid and mentally counted to three before he ripped it off, dove onto the safety of his bed, and rolled under the covers. Nothing.

He peeked out. The box wasn’t smoking or spewing any substance and it wasn’t making any noise. Maybe this once Reno got lazy. Axel went over to the box and looked inside. There were two prescription bottles with hand written labels and a book- War and Peace. Cool, he thought as he picked up the book. Suddenly a burst of air hit him in the face, he gasped and turned away.

“Goddammit Reno! What the fuck?!” Axel was irate but he sounded like a chipmunk! He started laughing and the sound of his own laughter made him laugh even harder. He put the book-safe and meds on Demyx’s bed and went to shower, still giggling.

He emerged after singing every Alvin and the Chipmunks song he could recall half the words to (even the Christmas one) to find Demyx sitting at his desk with his laptop open. He raised his hand in greeting before he turned around with an idiotic smile on his face. Axel smiled, assuming Demyx had heard most of his shower concert. “What’s up Dem? You think I got the chops to be a star?”

Demyx stood and picked up his bag and laptop, “D-d-d-dd-on’t know y-y-yyet, Red. W-w-w-w-wfuckgoddamnshitwhore! We’ll sssssee h-how m-m-many hi-hi-hi-hits y-you g-g-g-get on y-y-YouTube!”

Demyx walked out leaving Axel standing in his towel, gaping.

  
  


Zexion stood by the main fountain talking to Riku as Roxas rolled slowly by on his skateboard giving them a shitty look. They didn’t speak as they watched him kick off then pull his cell from his pocket. “What the fuck’s his deal?” grumbled Zexion.

“He thinks I’m gonna fuck his brother,” mumbled Riku as the two watched Roxas head down the sidewalk that led to the caf.

“Which one? Sleepy, Dopey or Doc?” asked Zexion as Roxas’ figure got smaller.

“Dopey... and I prolly will,” smirked Riku.

“Well, Grumpy will get over it,” snickered Zexion. “Let’s go, I gotta eat before I go to the clinic.” The two started in the same direction as Roxas, still watching him roll toward the… _hedges?_ Riku elbowed Zexion to make sure he was watching as Roxas, who was focused on his phone, overran a group of three students, a garbage can, and landed in the shrubs.

Roxas untangled himself, and apologized profusely to the students he had hit, righted the garbage can and was dusting himself off when Riku approached him. “Dude, you ok?”

Roxas looked up and glared, “Yeah, thanks. I was just distracted.”

Riku shoved his hands into his pockets, knowing that if he offered help it would be refused. “Hey do you have a problem with me and Zex? You were giving us a hard look back there. I mean, did I...we do something to piss you off?”

“I just didn’t like what you did to my brother last weekend at the party is all,” Roxas scowled.

“I apologized to him already but he assured me that he didn’t have a problem with it. Even said he liked it, so looks like the only one who has a problem here is you, Roxas.” Riku spoke calmly which seemed to piss Roxas off even more.

The awkward silence was broken by Riku’s phone. He took it out to check while waiting for Roxas to speak, or not, he didn’t care at this point. It was a message from Demyx with a video attached. Riku watched the video of a door opening slowly to show a shower. A naked Axel, discernable through the thin curtain but obscured mostly by steam, was singing… _was this dubbed? It sounds like a chipmunk…Did he sing something about a hula hoop? Tha fuck?_ Riku thought as he giggled at his phone. He looked up just in time to see Roxas drop his board and push away. “Whatever, keep runnin away and hidin, Rox… you’ll be back eventually.” Riku sighed as he forwarded the video to Zexion.

  


Vanitas was carefully picking through the hot bar inside the caf when a familiar hand stopped him from pilfering all the bacon strips. “You miss me yet?” he asked Namine as she smiled.

“Yes. I miss you a lot and I don’t have any place to be until 3:00 so if you want to ditch lunch and follow me home I will show you just how much I’ve missed you.”

Vanitas grabbed a handful of bacon off his plate and tossed the rest. “I’m in.” She smiled as he kissed her cheek as they walked toward the double doors.

“So how’s your, um…?” he glanced at her ass with a guilty smirk.

“Vani, stop while you’re ahead,” Namine warned.

“Yeah, ok baby,” he murmured as he chewed.

  


Axel walked into the Strife house that afternoon knowing that he was in for some ribbing, thanks to Demyx and his stupid video. Everyone was there already, so as he entered the room immediately erupted with cat calls and whistles and laughing. Axel threw his hands up, "Thank you, thank you!" He took a step forward and bowed to his audience. "I realize you have all gathered here to pay homage to my greatness and I want you to know my heart is touched," he laid his hands on his chest, "however my stomach is empty. Let me treat all of you to dinner. Pizza and beer!"

The room erupted again with laughter and whistles and yells of "Pizza and beer!"

Axel, all the Strife as well as Namine and Demyx took the city bus to a pizza shop. They were following the greeter to a big table in the back when Roxas noticed a familiar head of silver hair bowed over a laptop with a breadstick in one hand, typing with the other.

"Hey, Axel, I'll catch up to you guys in a sec, ok?" Axel nodded and Roxas backtracked to Riku's small table in the corner.

Noticing approaching footsteps Riku said, "Can I get some more tea please, no lemon."

"And here I thought everyone liked lemons," Roxas scoffed. Riku's head snapped up, eyes huge behind the nerdiest glasses Roxas had ever seen.

They stared at each other for a couple seconds before Riku straightened in his chair and said, "uh... (chew, chew) um..(chew, swallow)Rox...hi."

"Very articulate Riku! Very well said. Wanna join us for dinner?" Roxas nodded toward the back of the shop where the larger tables were. "We all came down to celebrate Axel's peerless singing voice and success on YouTube. I saw you sitting here working entirely too hard and thought I'd pop over and invite you, unless you're expecting someone that is."

"Um, no I... uh I mean yeah, no! I mean yes I’d like to…eat with you guys and no I'm not expecting anyone." Riku looked utterly dumbfounded and a little vulnerable and Roxas didn’t think he had ever seen that expression before.

_I wonder if this is the side of him that he shows to Sora_ he thought and smiled, "Great."

Riku packed up his things (glasses included, which was a shame Roxas thought because he looked hot in them) and put some money on the table before following Roxas to the back. Everyone was talking and the waitress was sitting down pitchers of beer.

"Look what I found!" Roxas said above the noise.

Vanitas looked relieved and happy that Roxas was making an effort to accept what Sora wanted. "Riku! Join us." Axel and the others welcomed him and made room by Sora. Riku smiled at him as he sat down and Sora leaned over immediately, pressed his nose to Riku's hair and breathed in deeply. To Roxas' surprise Riku turned his head toward Sora's face and whispered something that made him giggle. _Maybe this was the right thing to do,_ Roxas thought _. I don’t deserve him anyway._

  


After dinner, as they spilled onto the street, Riku reached out and tugged Sora’s hand. “I drove… wanna ride back with me?”

“Of fuckin course.” Sora beamed and Roxas shot Riku a venomous look before schooling his expression again.

The rest of them took the city bus back but decided to get off by the big cemetery near campus and walk since the weather was nice. Some of the athletes were out running and they would nod as they passed. Axel shoved his hands into his pockets and thought about Reno. When they were young and lived in the slums they walked everywhere- walked to get their dad from the bar, walked to get his smokes and booze, walked to get bandages from the neighbors.

"Hey, where are you right now?" Roxas nudged his elbow as they strolled.

"With my brother." Axel replied before he could censor himself.

Roxas nodded. "I get it. I feel lost without mine too." He glanced over to see them all smiling.

"It'll be good to see him this weekend."

Roxas perked up at the idea of meeting Axel’s twin. "You have to let us meet him. Are you guys identical? Does he go to a different college?" Roxas rapid fire questions made Axel grin.

"Damn. Yes and no. We are and he doesn't, go to college I mean. He was scouted by a company while we were really young so he went to work as soon as he was old enough." Axel smiled and turned his face away from Roxas. "I miss him." After a brief pause he added, "But being around you guys helps a lot."

"You could stay you know, with us I mean. We have room and I know how that feels. Being away from them is hard. It’s like missing part of you."

"I couldn't bail on Demyx. He's a great guy even though he smeared my partial nudity all over the internet today."

Roxas had to laugh, "Yeah that was uh, something. But I gotta admit I watched it more than once ...on mute." he blushed.

Axel was stunned and flattered, "Yeah?"

Roxas nodded and his blush deepened as he watched his feet while they walked. "You liked that, huh?" Axel bumped Roxas' shoulder but didn't move away. Instead he leaned down to see the smile Roxas was trying to hide.

Suddenly a dog was heading straight for them, yapping and snarling. "Aaaaaah! Vani catch!" Roxas yelled back over his shoulder. Like a well-rehearsed dance, Vanitas turned, spotted Ventus and was instantly at his side as his body froze and his eyes started to roll back. He reached down and scooped him up bridal style, and walked on.

Demyx was in awe of how they moved and thought as one person sometimes. He also realized that if he was to be Ventus' plus one, he needed to know how to deal with these situations. He was a little intimidated by the whole idea but it wasn’t like Ventus wanted that from him. He just wanted sex… like the others before. Except with Ven it was free, unless you counted the emotional investment on Demyx’s part. He didn't think Ventus counted that.


	9. SLEEPY HOUSE

SLEEPY HOUSE

  


Back at the Strife house, Ventus was awake and Demyx was handing out "after dinner mints" to smoke. They had arrived to find Sora and Riku exiting his car in a cloud of smoke, only to make a giggling bee line to the kitchen.

"How'd you manage to get your meds early, Dem?" Vanitas was happy to hear Demyx talking normally again.

"I know people." Demyx hacked as he blew smoke in Vanitas' direction.

The atmosphere was so laid back there that Axel felt like he had dropped out of real life completely. He let his mind wander as he sat with Roxas, Vanitas, and Namine on the floor among the pillows. He thought of existential things and Burroughs; he thought of Reno and Roxas. He noticed that there was music and even it was slow and lazy sounding… Blind Melon’s Sleepy House, maybe. Axel slid closer to Roxas, fluffed a pillow and lay back dragging another pillow across his middle.

Roxas looked down into his face and smiled, “High, Axel?”

“Lil bit, yeah.” he smiled and patted the pillow he had dragged over his stomach and Roxas laid his head on it, curled up on his side, and rested his hand on Axel’s chest.

Ventus watched the two briefly and then walked over to where Demyx sat on the sofa, "Shotgun?"

Demyx looked up at him as he leaned back on the sofa and spread his arms. Ventus straddled his lap and lowered his head to get what he asked for, then kissed Demyx as the smoke streamed out his nose and made a cloud around their faces. He threaded the fingers of his left hand through Ventus’ hair and kissed him back passionately.

"God-Damn!" hissed Namine as she snapped pics with her phone. "Xion will love this."

Everyone’s attention seemed to be on the blondes as most of them had been watching their relationship grow for some time. Vanitas got up and walked by them, casually taking the joint from Demyx’s right hand which immediately found a resting place on Ventus' ass.

"Wow," Axel breathed as he looked up at the ceiling and started whispering in another language that Roxas recognized as Latin.

He giggled and whispered, "Come on Axe, it’s just a kiss." He was too close to Axel's ear. _When did he sit up?_ Axel's brain wasn't processing words; it was only registering the sensations of Roxas’ scent, his breath on his ear, the tickle of his hair on his cheek.

He turned his head slightly so his cheek brushed Roxas'. "Yeah?" Axel whispered.

"Yeah..." Roxas breathed as his lips brushed over Axel's ear and he pulled away. Axel closed his eyes smiling and was whispering in Latin again. Roxas smirked and put a joint between Axel’s fingers. “We need a drink.”

 

The two walked into the kitchen to see Riku and Sora sitting and talking. Riku was smiling (Sora was almost always smiling). “Hey guys, didn’t mean to interrupt, we just came to get a drink,” Roxas said as Sora turned to him. “Its fine, we’re just talking about how fucked up it is that his dad is the Dean.”

Axel nodded, “That’s gotta be a pain in the ass right? I mean, I couldn’t wait to get away from my old man. I can’t imagine still having to see his ass every day.”

“Hey by the way, Axel’s brother is coming this weekend so we should have food and shit,” Roxas told Sora as he peered at the paper flyer on the fridge. It was a copy of the calendar they made for their weekend parties. “Let’s see, this weekend we have Swap Ideas Day, Make Your Bed Day, and National Video Game Day. Oh, I remember from last year, that Video Game Day is also Chocolate Milkshake Day.”

Axel leaned closer to see all the strange, obscure holidays as well as major ones from all over the world. “Who does this,” he said quietly as he read the entire month. He noticed that Oktoberfest started on the 20th and continued to October 5th so there were other things scribbled in the weekend boxes like toga or beach. As he pondered the dates, he noticed Riku was stealing glances at Roxas. Axel wasn't usually the jealous type but he wondered if there was a story there. Focusing on the calendar again, he decided that he was really going to have to spend weeknights working on his study because he didn’t want to miss any of this.

"So Axel," Sora mumbled around some chips he and Riku were decimating, "Tell us about your brother."

"Not much to tell really. He looks like me, except his tattoos are different and his hair is longer. He drinks like a fish and swears like a pirate. He's got a great sense of humor but an evil temper. He's a good guy."

Sora nodded and rubbed his belly. "He sounds cool. Look we’re gonna go watch a movie or somethin. Wanna come with?"

Axel looked at Roxas and shrugged.

"Thanks Sora but I think I'll pass this time," Roxas yawned, "You and Riku go ahead."

Sora nodded again and looked at Riku, “You wanna?”

"Sure." They dragged off the stools and left Roxas and Axel in the kitchen.

Roxas yawned again and Axel chuckled, "Ya need a pick me up?"

"What you got?"

Axel dug into his pocket and produced what looked like a small toy that turned out to be a locket with an anime character on it. He popped it open to reveal a familiar white powder. "You want?”

Roxas smiled through his haze, "Oh yeah, I want."

  


Upstairs in Sora's room he was on his knees digging through DVD’s when he turned to ask Riku what he wanted to watch. Riku was pulling off his long sleeve hooded tee and as he tugged it, pulled his beater up with it along with Sora's eyes. When he was free of the shirt he tossed it at Sora who caught it with one hand without batting an eye and pressed it to his nose as he continued to stare. Riku ran a hand through his hair and his undershirt fell back into place. "Ok if I smoke?"

Sora nodded, sniffing the shirt. His eyes were huge and Riku watched him intently as he lit his cigarette. He watched as Sora's eyes dropped slowly down his body and when they reached his shoes, started to travel back up, never removing the shirt from his face. Riku shifted his weight and shoved a hand into his pocket which tugged his jeans down just enough to show some skin. Sora's eyes shot to Riku's face. Riku raised one eyebrow slightly. Sora looked at Riku's hand in his pocket and back to his face again with a hint of pleading. Riku pulled his hand out of his pocket and hooked his thumb under his shirt and pulled it up right above his navel. Sora's eyelids drooped, shirt still covering his nose and mouth, he let out a muffled, “Oohh.”

With a smirk, Riku lifted the beater higher, stopping halfway of his pecs. Sora shivered and snorted. Looking back up at Riku's face suddenly, he finally dropped the shirt to his chest. "Is it too soon to say I love you?"

Riku giggled, put his cigarette down and stepped over to Sora's bed where he started pulling off the duvet and pillows.

"Um, wait ...ehh Riku...that’s not what…" Sora stammered getting up from where he was still on his knees by the DVDs.

Riku turned to him unconcerned as he dragged the cover completely off the bed to the floor. "What's wrong Sora? Don't you wanna watch movies from inside a blanket fort?"

Sora lit up like a kid at Christmas. "Oh god yes!"

The fort went up quickly and Sora turned to Riku, "What do you wanna watch?"

"Do you have The Rocky Horror Picture Show?"

Sora squealed with delight, "Can I be Janet!?"

"I have to be Dr. Frank-N-Furter though." Riku nodded.

"Okay..." Sora was crawling into the fort, dragging Riku's shirt with him. Riku smiled, kicked off his shoes and crawled in with him and Sora squawked, "You have Mickey socks just like mine! Oh my god you're so perfect I could diiiieeee!!!!”

  


Downstairs Roxas grabbed his jacket on his way past Demyx and Ventus. "Going to the dorm with Axel, back later." (Slam).

Ventus and Demyx looked at each other, surprised. "Well, he said later but he didn't say how much later. Wanna stay here tonight?"

"Guess I could. You gonna make me sleep on the couch?"

"Not a chance." They started up the stairs together and Demyx wondered if Namine had a spare slip lying around.

  
  


At the dorm Axel was doing rails while Roxas sat on his bed reading titles of the books that were stacked on the floor and the headboard and the window sill… "You got a favorite?"

Axel turned around and looked over the stacks briefly. "Too many to name, but if you tell me what you like to read I can recommend something."

Roxas nodded and walked to the desk.

"I gotta ask do you do this a lot?"

Roxas nodded again. "More than I should."

Axel handed him the small square dish that reminded him of a sushi plate. He snorted and scrunched his nose and rubbed it. Axel patted his thigh. "Have a seat."

Roxas’ heart was pounding and his head felt so clear he could've sworn he heard the electricity in the walls and the hiss of the gas lamps outside. He straddled one of Axel's legs and sat on his knee staring at the acid green strips around huge dilated pupils. Axel put his hands on Roxas' hips and gave a little squeeze. "Now what?"

Roxas took Axel's face with both hands and brushed his lips over Axel's. He kissed his chin and nudged with his nose and slipped his hands back into Axel's hair tugging his head back before kissing and nipping at his throat. Axel's already too busy brain shut down. Everything was tactile from that point. Roxas' soft lips, wet mouth, warm hands, smooth skin, fine hair, fast pulse, thin frame, muscular legs.

"Roxas" He whispered as he trailed his hands along his thighs. Roxas kissed his eyes, then his tattoos. Axel slid one hand to his back pulling him closer, the other went to his cheek, a thumb brushing over his lips before he kissed him. Roxas squirmed and Axel felt a hand tugging his other leg over to extend Roxas’ seat to both knees.

As soon as he was seated Axel pulled him flush against his chest, making Roxas squeak. The hand on his back went down to his ass as Axel squeezed and moaned almost inaudibly. Hearing the sound wrecked the blonde and after seconds of fevered tugging, Axel raised his arms to aid Roxas in undressing him. There was a pause as Axel leaned back in the chair to allow Roxas to drink in the sight of his pale skin, the bright red hair, kiss swollen lips and poison green eyes.

Deciding that looking was not going to be enough, Roxas stood up, reached for one of the redhead’s hands and tugged as he backed up toward the bed. "Roxaaas…" Axel said again in an almost pleading tone.

"What?" Roxas asked as his legs hit the bedside. He dropped Axel's hand and removed his own shirt. Axel watched with reverence as muscles flexed with the movements, and before his shirt hit the floor, Axel was kissing him. Roxas was amazed at the way he seemed to touch every inch of his skin, setting fire to it as he went.

Axel devoured Roxas. He kissed and touched and tasted until he was breathless, and then his hands on Roxas' hips urged him down to the bed. He sat down and lay back, and immediately Axel straddled his waist. Looking down at Roxas, he thought he looked like an angel; so blonde and fair and perfect.

Looking up at Axel, Roxas thought he looked like a god. He slid his hands up muscular legs, thumbs pressing his inner thighs as he went, and when he reached his hips, he held them firmly and ground his erection against Axel's ass.

"Stop that" Axel breathed, but Roxas repeated the motion and threw his head back as he groaned "Noooo."

In an instant Axel was off Roxas and the bed. Before Roxas could form a word, hands were dragging him up to the pillows and snatching his shoes off his feet, almost too fast to be done by a single person. Roxas opened his mouth to speak and Axel was there again, over him, kissing him. He used a knee to nudge Roxas' legs apart and when he ground their hips together, Roxas moaned and grabbed Axel's ass with both hands.

"Goddammit Rox."

"Do it again," Roxas pleaded.

Axel kissed him hard as their bodies moved together. He could feel Roxas starting to tug at his jeans and suddenly his brain woke up. _What am I thinking?_ _I can’t do this. Roxas is little, I’ll break him. Fucking him right now would ruin everything. How would I be able to finish my study?_ "Roxas we can't."

Roxas covered his face with his hands as Axel sat up, still kneeling between his legs. "I knew it." Roxas groaned with a hint of amusement.

Axel chuckled, running his hands over Roxas’ chest and stomach. "Knew what? That you would be all over me like a cheap suit the minute you got me alone? Or that I would come to my senses as soon as I burned off some of the blow and incidentally, right before I fucked the stuffing out of you?"

Roxas laughed. "Both."

Axel laughed too and started to get up but Roxas grabbed him. "Hey that was feeling good, don't stop!"

Axel settled back into his spot and resumed stroking his chest and stomach. "So hot," he stated bluntly but then stopped.

Roxas cracked an eye open and hissed, "Why you stop again?"

Axel laughed, "Because I need to take care of something and _this_ ," he waved his hands around to indicate Roxas' body, "isn't helping."

Roxas laughed hard and reached for Axel. "Lemme help."

"No." Axel scooted back just out of Roxas' reach. Roxas laughed and reached again, and again Axel scooted back.

Axel loved the sound of that laughter. He loved the unguarded expression and the way Roxas said his name. "Stop scooting, Axel. Come here."

Axel scooted until he fell off the bed and Roxas roared. The redhead had to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation. "C'mon Blondie. Let's bump and go for a walk in the cemetery.”


	10. SURPRISE

SURPRISE

  


“Hey Blondie, what’s up?”

“I just wanted to call and remind you I was leaving early.”

“We still meetin Sunday in Costa?”

“Yeah, provided none of the boys has a crisis.” Cloud laughed and played with his keychain as he avoided saying goodbye to Reno.

“Well they are your kids, yo. No tellin what they’re into. If somethin comes up, we’ll just hafta play it by ear.”

“Alright, I guess I’ll go and let you get back to whatever it is Turks do,” Cloud sighed.

“This Turk is layin on the company sofa with his feet up, his drink cold, and his hand down his pants thinkin bout some hot ass blonde, yo!”

Cloud laughed and covered his face even though he was alone. “Text me.”

“You know it baby. And quit that blushin when I’m not there to see! That shit’s mine yo.”

“Bye Reno.”

(Loud smooching sounds over the phone)

  


Cloud arrived in Twilight Town Friday morning. He stopped at the boys’ favorite fast food spot and bought enough breakfast to feed an army ( _Sora how can you eat like that, where do you put it all?_ ). He smiled as he approached the rented house, food in hand, ready to surprise his kids. Cloud’s smile faded as he noticed the door wasn’t locked. Panic hit his heart like ice water. _Anyone could’ve gone inside while they slept_!

He stepped inside cautiously, assessing his surroundings like the soldier he was. Messy, normal. Lamp on, normal. He proceeded toward the kitchen to drop the food on the counter. Apprehension dying away a bit, he figured they just didn’t close the door properly before they went to bed. He heard a faint bumping from upstairs. He headed for the stairs to see who was up. “Guys?” he called out once as he ascended.

He passed Roxas’ door first. It was closed and the room was quiet. The fact that there was no music playing meant he probably wasn’t inside. That wasn’t unusual because at home they tended to sleep together in some capacity: Roxas with Sora and Vani with Ven was their usual arrangement. Across the hallway Ventus’ door was also closed but he could hear low voices that he assumed was the television.

Cloud picked up on all this within seconds so he didn’t even slow his pace as he moved down the hallway. Vanitas’ door appeared to be open and that was when he heard it: a female voice. _She sounded…happy? No…she sounded like she was…Vanitas was having sex! No! Cloud thought, I don’t wanna see this, or hear it!_ He stepped past the half open door quickly when he heard Vanitas shout, “Hey Rox! Shut the door will ya! Ya little lech!”

Thank god Roxas looked so much like him... He stepped back quickly, grabbed the doorknob and shut the door, keeping his head down while hoping Vanitas didn’t notice how he was dressed. He didn’t want to be discovered at this point. He didn’t want to deal with the awkwardness of it all.

Stepping across the hall to Sora’s room, he opened the door slightly. Sora was his eternal child. He was mature and responsible when he needed to be, but at home he was a kid. Seeing the blanket fort, he grinned and stepped inside the room quietly. The boys had only been back at school a short time but he missed them already. As soon as he was fully inside the room, he knew something was amiss. _Had Sora started smoking? There was an ashtray with butts in it…and was that weed?_ Cloud rolled his eyes and thought- _I guess my eternal child is now my eternal teen._

He walked to the front of the pillow fort where it was open facing the TV and stared. He turned his head sideways and screwed his face around trying to make what he was seeing make sense. When he worked out which limbs belonged to Sora, he almost had a PTSD episode when he saw a mess of silver hair so near his son. He shook his head to send the memories fluttering, and turned to walk away thinking how grateful he was that they at least had some clothes on. Descending the stairs, he hadn’t noticed that Vanitas’ door was open again and the room was empty.

Back in the den, Cloud sat down and flipped on the TV just to have some noise while he waited for the kids to wake up. He noticed there was a huge purse beside the sofa that he assumed belonged to the female upstairs. Cloud would never rifle through a woman’s purse but it was wide open and he could see some of the contents. That wasn’t the same as rifling.

There were some small bottles and containers of what looked like make-up, a sequined piece of cloth and what could only be an acrylic platform heel. Vanitas’ “friend” was a stripper. Cloud rubbed his temples and leaned his head back. As much as he wanted to talk to them, he wasn’t going to make his boys get out of bed; he had done his time with that. As he sat, he thought about the years when they were little; getting them all ready for school and his mind wandered from school fights and awards to track meets and football games…he started to doze off.

  


Vanitas and Namine were in the kitchen eating breakfast that _'Rox musta brought'_. She was sitting on the counter wearing only his t-shirt while he sat on a barstool in his boxers. The TV came on in the den. _Maybe Rox didn’t crash after he brought the food in after all_ , Vanitas thought.

“Do you have any classes today, Vani?” Namine asked as she slid off the counter to clear their paper and napkins away.

“I have one after lunch. Dad is coming this afternoon and we have plans with him. Are you working tonight?”

“Yes, I have showcase and then I’m helping with the new girls. I’ll be late.” She stretched her arms over her head and turned to him as he stood and wrapped his arms around her.

“Back to bed now,” he lifted her off the floor and started out of the kitchen.

She laughed and squirmed. “No, Vani. I need to go. If I go back up there with you I won’t get anything done today.”

He growled and sat her down as they walked into the den and toward the stairs. Vanitas stopped and turned slowly to look at the figure on the sofa. _Why is Rox dressed like Dad? Why is he sleeping sitting up on the sofa_? The Not-Rox was sitting on the end of the sofa away from the lamp with his head back, mouth slightly open, sleeping. 

Namine realized that Vanitas wasn’t following her and she turned around just as Cloud opened his eyes. Awkward silence. Namine said “What’s wrong with you, Vanitas? You look like you’ve never seen your brother before.”

Vanitas was frozen and speechless, staring at Cloud who was staring at Namine.

“Wh…uhh, well…hmmm,” Vanitas muttered as Namine whirled around to squeak, “There it is! I thought I had taken it upstairs!”

She walked over to the huge purse and bent over to get it, baring her entire ass. Vanitas’ hand slapped his forehead as he tried to form words that would not cause a panic or a meltdown from either of the blondes in the room.

“What’s up with you this morning, Rox? You and Red party too hard last night?” Namine asked as she scooped up her purse and walked toward the stairs. Halfway up, she paused turning around slowly and said, “Are you coming or not? Honestly what is wrong with you, Vani? You smoke too much weed. That’s your problem!” She turned around and her voice trailed off as she ascended.

Cloud reached over slowly and turned on the lamp closer to him. Vanitas stood there in his boxers waiting for the impending shit storm.

“Surprise.” Cloud deadpanned with a fake smile. Vanitas dropped his head and opened his mouth to apologize when the front door burst open and in came a giggling, bouncing Roxas with Axel in tow. Roxas was still laughing as Axel started hissing, “Ssssshhhhhhhhh, you’ll wake everybody.” 

“Fuck everybody,” laughed Roxas.

As soon as the words left his mouth he and Axel noticed Vanitas standing in his boxers with his mouth open.

“Vani! You look like a fish! Wearing boxers!” Roxas exclaimed and that started the laughter all over again. He and Axel were wasted and it was obvious to Vanitas what had happened-too much blow, can’t come down, do shots, smoke greens.

He could literally feel the temperature of the room drop as Cloud turned around on the couch to look at the two stoners. Heading for the stairs, the two were on their own planet. Roxas flapped his hand and yelled over his shoulder, “Hey Ven, didn’t mean to ignore ya!”

Cloud turned back to Vanitas. He didn’t have words for this but Vanitas broke the silence, finally. “Dad…”

Cloud raised his hand to call for silence. He got it. Namine came bouncing back down the stairs and Vanitas thought it couldn’t get any worse at this point. Cloud put his hands over his face and leaned his head back _. I will NOT to lose my shit in front of this girl, woman, stripper, whatever she is!_

“Are you and Roxas having a fight?” She whispered as she hugged him.

He put one arm around her and eased her toward the door. “No, baby we’re not fightin. He’s just, um …upset. We’ll talk later, ok?”

They said their goodbyes at the door and she left. As the door closed Vanitas took a deep breath, ready to face the music. He turned around to see that the sofa was empty. “Dad?” He checked the kitchen but he wasn’t there. He went to the guest bathroom near the back door and saw the light coming from underneath the closed door. He pecked lightly, “Dad, you ok?”

Cloud was staring into the mirror. “Where did I go wrong?” He whispered. “Why aren’t you here to help with this? Even if I hadn’t…even if you weren’t…FUCK!”

“Dad?”

Cloud snatched the door open. “I’m fine.”

He stepped around Vanitas and headed for the kitchen. “Get dressed.”

Vanitas hit the stairs running so he could warn his brothers…and get dressed.

Cloud walked into the kitchen intending to get a drink; preferably something a lot stronger than orange juice. What he found was Ventus making out with a blonde, not the stripper, not even a girl. Done with the shock of it all, Cloud cleared his throat. The unidentified blonde looked up and squinted, “Hey Rox.” And went back to snogging with his son.

Cloud spun around and stalked out of the kitchen. Back in the den, he was confronted with the proverbial “last straw”. On the couch was Sora and this silver-haired nightmare look-alike. Sora was sitting on his lap with his forehead pressed to the Not-Seph’s forehead, hands on his bare chest while the Not-Seph whispered and smiled. Cloud walked by them without speaking, out the door. (SLAM!) Both looked up in surprise, then shrugged and went back to their conversation.

  


Outside, Cloud tried to calm his breathing. He had to deal with this but he didn’t know where to start. Taking out his cell only to put it away, he decided that telling Reno about this would have to wait until later. He really needed to regroup before going back in there so he thought for a moment about why he was here to begin with. Taking a deep breath, he turned to go back inside.

Upstairs Vanitas was desperately but quietly trying to get Roxas to open his door. Peck, peck, peck “Roxas” Vanitas hissed, “Dad’s here! (Peck, peck, peck) Roxaaaassssss!”

The door opened a crack and Axel slurred, “Roxas crashed, what’s up?”

“Our Dad’s here, that’s what’s up and he was here when you two idiots came stumblin in stoned outta your minds. That wasn’t _Ven_ on the sofa!”

Axel squinted and rubbed his eyes. “Fuck my liiiiife. Ok, I’ll get him awake and downstairs.”

Vanitas hurried into his room, threw on his jeans and a clean shirt and went to warn Sora and Ventus.

  


When Cloud walked back into the house the lights were on and everyone was sitting on their pillows in the floor waiting. There was Ventus and mystery blonde, Sora and Not-Seph, Vanitas holding a coffee cup like it was a life preserver, and Roxas half-asleep with a … _oh wow_ … _that could only be one person_.

They all looked up at him, but the eyes he met first were those greens. Axel blinked a few times as they stared each other down. _My God Rox looks just like him. On what planet is this guy old enough to be their dad? He doesn’t look like anyone’s dad. He looks like a twink._

They studied each other as Cloud moved toward the couch to sit facing them all. _God it’s like looking at Reno. Is he sleeping with Roxas?! He can’t be sleeping with Roxas. He better not be sleeping with Roxas._

Cloud sat. His eyes were bloodshot from the spike in his blood pressure which made his mako blues a little more terrifying. He shifted his gaze to the others. “This was not what I expected when I came to visit. Guess that’s what I get for trying to surprise you guys. This is awkward and I really don’t want to drag it out so I will just say this: I’m not happy with any of this. Roxas!”

Roxas sat a little straighter and Cloud saw Axel put a protective hand on Roxas’ back. “Sir?”

“You can introduce me to your friend now.” As he spoke, he glared at Axel. Considering his genes, Cloud wasn’t surprised when Axel glared right back.

“This is Axel Sinclair, Axel this is my dad, Cloud Strife.” Roxas spoke mechanically. His pupils were pin holes, his mouth was a desert, and his entire head and face were numb. Axel and Cloud were still glaring at each other and the others in the room were beginning to feel the tension.

“Axel and I were…”

“I have a pretty good idea.” Cloud interrupted Roxas and re-directed to Axel. “Are you the student doing the study?”

“Yeah.” Axel stated bluntly, lifting his chin. He didn’t care if Mr. Big shot career military guy was a bad-ass. He was a Sinclair.

Cloud’s right eye blinked twice. _This fucking guy_ \- _this is NOT going to end well_. His eyes flicked to the hand that had left Roxas' back and now rested on his knee. Axel saw him looking. He didn’t flinch. Roxas reached down and covered Axel’s hand with his own and Cloud looked to Roxas’ exhausted blue eyes.

“You need to sleep, Rox. We’ll talk later.” Cloud’s heart broke seeing his son like that and it must have shown on his face because Axel finally turned his eyes to focus on Roxas.

The pair stood and Axel released Roxas’ hand as he walked over to lean down and hug Cloud. “Sorry Dad,” he whispered, “I love you.”

Tears filled his eyes as he hugged him back. He could feel Roxas trembling and it hurt his soul. “I love you too.”

Roxas went to speak to Axel at the foot of the stairs. “You should probably go. I need to sleep this off and take my ass-chewing like a man.” he glanced over to where Sora and Riku were sitting.

“I can stay if you want.” Axel took both his hands.

Cloud spoke up, “He wants, and you brought him home like this so you should babysit his ass. Dismissed.”

Axel and Roxas looked at each other and went upstairs quietly but Axel, being Axel, turned to get one more look before he reached the top of the stairs. Eye contact was made, Axel gave him that same shitty grin that he got from Reno, Cloud growled under his breath and bared his teeth a little, and then the red haired bastard saluted him.


	11. BUSTED

BUSTED

  


“Rude! Hurry up with the popcorn, yo!”

Rude rushed in with popcorn and sat down by Reno to watch the monitor. Shortly after Cloud had talked to him about his suspicions and cooked up this plan, Reno had given him a new set of earrings. They were tiny wolf heads and Cloud loved them, however he didn’t know that they were embedded with tiny cameras and microphones. Cloud had asked for his help, and gathering all the information he could get was part of that. Cloud wouldn’t be too mad…he hoped.

Rude and Reno watched the whole ordeal unfold like it was a blockbuster movie. Reno hated seeing Cloud upset and it pissed him off to see Roxas strung out with Axel of all people but he needed to know what he was walking into, he wanted to make sure Cloud was safe, plus it was pretty entertaining!

  


With Roxas and Axel gone upstairs, the other three boys were sweating. Demyx was fishing his meds out of his jeans pocket when Cloud turned back to them to finish saying what he needed to say. Cloud watched as he popped a couple pills in his mouth and swallowed them while Ventus held out his bottle of water to share. Cloud felt his eye flick again. He looked at Sora and the Not-Seph. He could feel his scar itching and thought, _not yet. I can’t deal with that one yet_.

“Vanitas, do you care to tell me about the stripper who was here this morning who thought I was your brother?”

Vanitas who was already on the verge of a breakdown just sat for a moment processing the question. “She’s my girlfriend Namine. She’s here a lot and used to the guys being all over the house and sh-"

“She’s a stripper, yes,” Cloud interrupted. “What I want to know is why she said you smoke too much weed?”

Sora, Ventus, Demyx, and Riku winced. Vanitas was at a loss again. He finally sighed and said, “Because I prolly do.”

Cloud glared at him. “How’s your GPA?”

Vanitas looked hopeful. “Stellar.”

Cloud nodded. “Cut back on your partying. Does your stripper go to school here?”

“No.”

“So you met her…..” Cloud waited with his eyebrows raised.

“At her work?” Vanitas scrunched his face up like he was expecting an explosion or fire to shoot at him from somewhere; from the look in Cloud’s eyes, possibly there.

Cloud pinched the bridge of his nose and Sora whispered, “Dumbass”.

“Whatever Vani. Is she going to be having dinner with us tonight?”

“No, sir, she has to …um…work.” Vanitas gave a weak smile.

“Well, since I’ve already had a one-sided conversation with her as well as seen her ENTIRE ass, I feel like I should at least meet her properly.”

“Yessir” Vanitas said almost apologetically.

That’s when Sora whispered, “Everyone in the city has seen her ENTIRE ass.”

Riku couldn’t hold it in, he smacked his hands over his face and laughed as quietly as he could. Hearing that set Sora off and he was laughing his silent laugh where his whole body shook but no sound came out. Cloud glared at him, and Sora snorted. Cloud’s eyes blazed and the laughter stopped.

“Sora, since you’re so eager to talk, tell me who your friend is here.”

Sora grinned like a jack-ass and said enthusiastically, “This is Riku! His dad is the Dean.” Sora secretly hoped that Riku being the Dean’s son would make Cloud go easier on him. It didn’t.

“Dean Xemnas is your father, interesting. I thought that his son went to Radiant Garden University. Do you have a brother?” Cloud looked too intensely at Riku for Sora’s taste.

Riku held his head up though. “No sir, no brothers or sisters. I transferred here to be closer to my dad.” _Nice save_ thought Sora.

Cloud studied Riku briefly, staring at his leather wrist bands for a moment like he was going to speak, but then didn’t. Some emotion flashed across his face and he said quietly, “Nice to meet you, Riku.”

Sora was shocked but pleased, as was Riku who replied, “Nice to meet you too, sir.”

With that Riku lowered his head a bit and dropped his eyes. He absently picked at one of his wristlets as Cloud moved on to Ventus.

“OK Ven, spill. Who is this guy you were violating in the kitchen this morning?” Cloud had loosened up profoundly so they were all more relaxed.

“Dad, this is Demyx, he’s a junior here and he’s also Axel’s roommate.”

“What were the pills you were taking earlier, Demyx the junior who is Axel’s roommate?”

“I take meds for a neurological disorder that I have and-"

“Wait, are you from Midgar?” Cloud was looking at Demyx like he was science project and it made Ventus nervous.

“Yes sir, I’ve lived a couple other places but mostly in Midgar.”

Cloud continued to look at Demyx, and then said, “Sorry, your name sounded familiar after I spoke it. You remind me of a kid I met once in Midgar. He was moving away with his new family though, so probably not you, huh?”

“Could’ve been me, sir. I lived in the orphanage.” Demyx stopped and stared. His brows furrowed as he looked at Cloud. “You were that _soldier_. I had been adopted and you were the soldier that sat with me while I waited for my new folks to come get me. I used to see you around a lot but I was afraid to talk to you.”

A sad smile came across Cloud’s face and tears welled up in Demyx’s eyes. Ventus, Sora, and Riku watched and listened as their dad shared a moment with a guy who was already an honorary member of their family.

“I remember you loved music.”

“Still do. I play a few instruments, but my guitars are my babies,” Demyx beamed.

“How did your new family work out? Do you still see them when you’re home from school?”

“The state took me back after two years…they weren’t nice people. I was adopted once more after that, but was brought back after only six months because by then I had some other issues. But, I worked and saved money for college and here I am.”

“Here you are,” Cloud said quietly. Then, not to appear to be too much of a softie, he added, “What is –this- anyway? Are you two dating or what?”

“No,” said Demyx.

“Yes,” said Ventus.

They looked at each other puzzled.

“Yes,” said Demyx.

“No,” said Ventus.

Another look at each other and then both looked at Cloud, “Yes.”

“Good.” Cloud was happy to see that at least one of the kids from the orphanage had done well. Too many times they ended up on the streets. He had no idea what Demyx had been through to get where he was at present but he was sure it hadn’t been easy.

  


They all chatted a little about school and the boys dispersed to go about their day. Sora and Vanitas went to shower and Ventus and Demyx left to go to a class, leaving Cloud with Riku. Cloud cleared his throat quietly and Riku’s eyes shot up; bright teal colored eyes, not green cat eyes, or snake, depending on how you felt about the man. Cloud rubbed over his scar. “Riku, what is your major?”

“Psychology.” _Why is he looking at me like that? His eyes are freaky. He doesn’t look old enough to be their dad. Wonder how he knows I went to Radiant?_

“What do you want to do with your degree?” _I wonder if he knows what he did was in the paper. I wonder if he’s tried it since then. Does Sora know?_

“Help kids.” _I wonder if he heard about last year. What if he knows and tells Sora before I have a chance to? He probably thinks I’m a nutter._

“That sounds very noble.” _Great, another silver-haired nutter, just what this family needs_.

“Thank you, sir.” _He’s hot for an old guy…I’m disgusting_.

  


Reno dropped his head. “Rude, turn it off. I can’t take no more, yo. My ribs is sore from laughin and he’ll prolly be callin when the kids go ta class after lunch. I gotta be able to keep my shit together man.”

Rude turned the monitor off and sat back. “So Reno, who ya lookin at so far?” He wanted to see if Reno got the same take from the intel that he got.

“We know who’s usin, an I know where Axe gets his shit so…I’m looking at the Dean’s kid. Imma run a history on him, yo. His ass seems shady to me. What you think?”

“Same.” Reno always said Rude was man of few words, but he knew his shit.

  


The house was empty and he didn't intend to ransack it, he just wanted to snoop a little while the kids were all gone to class or sleeping. He reminded himself more of his mother the older he got and it made him laugh. He missed her but she had been gone a long time. Ever since...well he wasn't going there today, especially after the morning he had with _Sephiku_. Cloud giggled. He tried to picture Riku riding a skateboard while wielding masamune. He laughed out loud.

He had been opening drawers (just to see, not to rifle) when he ran across something that shocked him. _Why is this in the kitchen_? _Should I send the kids back to the shrink?_ He turned the object in his hand, then placed it back and sanitized his hands. _Who needs a goddamn speculum_ _in their kitchen?_ He could hear that familiar laughter in his head.

 "Shut up, Seph" he snarled. "I guess you loved seeing me having to deal with that mini-me of yours, huh?"

The laughter rang through his head again and he grabbed his hair and ground his teeth. "You're dead. Leave me alone."

He went to the bathroom to wash his face, feeling dizzy and nauseated. Looking in the mirror, he saw Cloud the dad, not Cloud the soldier, and his head was quiet. He was ok.

Climbing the stairs to check on Roxas, he opened the bedroom door quietly and stepped inside. His baby, HIS mini-me, was sleeping soundly wrapped up in long wiry arms that belonged to a tall beautiful redhead. He couldn’t deny that Axel was gorgeous because he looked just like Reno, and Roxas was an angel. People said they looked alike but there was no way he was that beautiful.

He stood for another minute and watched Roxas breathe, then he snapped a picture with his phone and walked out. Back in the den he sent the pic to Reno. "Do we look this adorable?"

Reno had been listening to Cloud…he had killed the video but kept the audio feed on. He heard Cloud’s PTSD meltdown about Sephiroth and wanted to call right then but…when a person is already that close to a psychotic break you didn't do something that would aggravate their paranoia. Waiting for a text or call had been driving him nuts, and then finally…a text. He checked his phone to find the cutest picture of Axel snuggling Roxas.

Reno: they're beautiful yo

Cloud: you're beautiful and I miss you

Reno: I miss u baby. Call?

Cloud: 5 min.

Cloud walked outside to call Reno.

  


Roxas snuggled closer to Axel and started pulling at the covers.

“You cold, Rox?” Axel pulled some cover over him and tried not to disturb him too much.

“Nooooo.” Roxas pushed the cover away and started fumbling with the button on his jeans and mumbling incoherently.

“What’s wrong, don’t do that right now. Hey Rox, are you awake?”

Roxas had gotten his jeans undone, pulled down and was pushing them off with his feet but he never opened his eyes. Axel could make out a couple words he said but they didn’t make sense really. Roxas had is jeans off now and was in his boxers trying to crawl up underneath Axel.

“Rox wake up. You can’t do that. Wake up baby.” Axel knew what was going on and he wanted Roxas to wake up and get a shower. He knew that would make him feel some better, but he had crashed hard and would feel like shit all day, regardless.

Roxas peeked out of one bloodshot eye and scowled. “Where’s Sora?”

Axel felt relieved and rejected at the same time. “Probably downstairs but you need to get a shower.” He watched as Roxas opened his other eye and looked around, rubbed his nose, sniffed and coughed, closed his eyes again and started trying to crawl underneath him like before.

“Rox you need a shower, get up.” Axel pleaded, but Roxas ignored him and started pulling at Axel’s jeans.

“Take em off,” Roxas whined.

“No.” Axel took his hands and tried to hold them but Roxas wiggled them free and shoved them both down his pants anyway. Axel knew this was the wrong time for this. The state Roxas was in, he would let Axel fuck him but it wouldn’t be right. He apparently hadn’t been lying when he said he used more than he should.

Roxas wasn’t thinking clearly but Axel was, so that made him the responsible party in this. He pulled Roxas’ hands away and got out of bed. Roxas was whining and getting pissed but Axel didn’t care. He started a shower and went to the bedside where Roxas lay in his boxers with a pillow over his head.

“You can walk to the shower or I’ll carry you. Either way, you’re goin.”

Roxas peeked out and said, “Come back to bed.” He slid his hand down inside his boxers. Axel groaned and dropped his head. “Stop that, Rox.”

Roxas didn’t stop. Axel sat down on the side of the bed and Roxas pulled the pillow off his head and reached for him. He sat still. Roxas glared at him. “If you’re not helping me with this, you’re not watching.”

Axel rubbed his face and sighed. “You’re gonna regret this later, Roxaaaas.”

Roxas paused all movement, then stripped his boxers off and threw them at Axel.

“Goddammit.” Axel growled as he scooped him up in his arms and headed to the bathroom.

“Put me down!” Roxas whined as he struggled.

Ignoring his pleas, Axel stood him in the shower… and Roxas immediately tried to get out.

“Nope.” he held him under the spray, getting himself soaked in the process.

Roxas slid down the wall, knowing Axel would have to let go or fall into the tub.

“You little shit!” Axel relinquished his grip on the now wet, slippery, naked Roxas.

Roxas crawled to the back of the tub and curled into a ball with his head on his knees. His head was pounding, his skin hurt, he was cold but he didn’t want to be under the water because his fucking skin hurt!

A moment later he felt Axel’s hands smoothing his hair, rubbing his arm, his leg, even touched his toes one by one as if he was counting them. He counted the left much slower and Roxas curled them down as if to say _stop_. .. _When had he started crying?_

Axel’s hands left his hair. Rustling sounds beside the tub made Roxas curl tighter on himself. _What’s he going to do now_? Something touched his toes as the water changed direction briefly. He opened his eyes to see feet. Axel sized feet. He squeezed his eyes shut.

“Come on Rox, stand up. I know it sucks but this will help ok, I promise,” Axel spoke gently as he started helping him to stand. He turned them both so that Roxas was under the spray and ran his hands through Roxas’ hair and down his back while he sobbed. He was muttering in Latin again, Roxas noticed as he sniffled. Quieting himself, he listened to Axel murmur what he soon realized were prayers. Soon he was warming up so he stopped hanging on him and stood on his own. Wiping his eyes, he stepped away from Axel enough to turn facing the spray. He crossed his arms hugging himself and mumbled, “Thanks.”

 

Axel said nothing as he stepped out the shower and left Roxas to bathe. He dressed quickly and went downstairs to find Cloud. He had just got off the phone with Reno and was about to walk back inside when Axel was opening the door to come out.

“Um, hi. Can we talk, like really fast?” Axel fired the question as he continued to advance out the door giving Cloud no choice but to retreat or be overrun.

Cloud stepped aside looking concerned. “Sure what’s up and why the rush?”

“I’m gonna be quick and to the point so please let me get this out. I’ve only known your sons for a week. I party, they party- it happens. I’m crazy about Roxas, I am, but I saw something just now while I was helping him shower, and you need to know that he’s on junk. He’s shooting between his toes. I had no fucking idea before now.”

Cloud just stared. Axel could see the hole forming in his soul, the color draining from his face.

“I’m sorry to tell you like this, man, but that all-nighter could’ve killed him. I don’t know how long he’s been using or how much, but I will do ANYTHING to help him. Just tell me what to do and I will do it. I just found him. I will NOT lose him.”

Upstairs Roxas was on auto-pilot. He showered, fixed, brushed his teeth and hair, dressed, and headed downstairs.


	12. FLYING

FLYING

  


Cloud looked at his phone, stunned…Reno had told him everything about the earrings. He was mad at first that he hadn’t told him before he left, but he had been right when he said that Cloud would’ve taken them off as soon as the three ring circus started that morning. Reno knew everything that Cloud knew, including the news he had just gotten from Axel about Roxas. What was he supposed to do now? A familiar panic began to wash over him as he stood with Axel on the porch. He looked at the door then back at Axel.

Axel looked at Cloud and waited for a response. After a few minutes he figured none was coming. “I’m going back inside before he comes down. Let me know how you plan to handle this ok? I want to be here for him. I want to help him.”

Cloud looked into Axel’s eyes. Those were Reno’s eyes. It was too much. Axel watched as Cloud’s face became a blank mask. “There are some things I need to take care of. I’ll be back,” Cloud said as he started down the steps but then Axel grabbed his arm.

“Let me go Tur…kid,” Cloud snapped.

“How do I get a hold of you if he needs you?”

“I’m in his phone.” And with that Cloud was gone but the wolf earrings were crushed in the street. Cloud was off the grid.

  


Back inside, Axel was sitting and wondering what the fuck he was supposed to do. How was he supposed to act like this shit wasn’t happening? Roxas came down looking almost normal albeit a little tired.  “Where’s Dad?”

Axel smiled, “He said he had some shit to do and he would be back. I guess he felt you were in very capable hands.” He waggled his eyebrows at Roxas trying to coax a smile out of him. He got it.

“Why are those hands waaay over there then?”

Axel laughed and hugged Roxas, nuzzling his damp hair. He was dying on the inside. He wanted to talk to him about his problem but he knew junkie logic, and that would be a bad idea right now. Roxas slid his hands under Axel’s shirt, across his chest and down his sides to rest on his waist, and then lifted his head to kiss his throat. Axel wanted to just go with it and let Roxas have his way but things were different now. Roxas nipped at his neck as his hands went up to his chest again, fingertips teasing his nipples.

Axel’s breath hitched and he hugged Roxas tighter against him. “Rox…”

Roxas pushed Axel toward the sofa. “I was in the shower with you naked and I was so fucking strung out I didn’t get to have any fun.”

Axel was surprised by his bluntness about the shape he had been in earlier; but then Roxas was just a bundle of surprises.

“Don’t you think you should eat something, baby. Are you not hungry?”

Roxas pushed him down onto the couch, shoved his legs apart and planted himself between them. “Are you stalling, Red?”

“N-No I just th…” Roxas leaned down and kissed him. Axel’s head was swimming with indecision. Those two sides were at war again in his head until Roxas said, “Just let me…”

_Ah fuck it_ , Axel thought. “Is this what you want, Rox?” Axel grabbed Roxas’ hand and shoved it between his legs.

Roxas squeezed gently and moaned, “Yesss.”

Axel’s eyes were watering, his jeans were too tight, and Roxas was making it impossible for him to do _the right goddamn thing_.

“If that’ll make you happy, then you can have it.” Axel took his shirt off and started popping buttons on his pants while Roxas watched. When the last button was undone, he bent down and began to kiss his chest and quickly moved to his abs, nipping his belly button as he tugged his jeans down lower.

Axel had tried to be mad but he couldn’t. _This was going to happen anyway right?_ Roxas had no obligation to tell him about every chemical he put into his body. They weren’t official or anything… _right?_ _They were just fucking_ , like Demyx said about Ventus. _Maybe that’s how these_ _guys do shit._ He could do shit like that.

So that’s how Axel justified the deed. A smirk spread across his face. _But what if_ …he prayed to everything that his Grandma held holy that Roxas wouldn’t make a big deal out of…Axel felt Roxas’ warm hands on him and he stopped breathing for a second. He tugged Axel’s erection free from his jeans and mumbled something Axel couldn’t make out ( _probably a good thing_ ).

Roxas’ head popped up, his eyes heavy lidded and his cheeks flushed. Axel looked at him expectantly ( _he’s gonna make it a big deal and then it’ll be awkward_. He knew he was big, but he was always embarrassed when someone made a big deal out of it. It bugged him so much that in high school gym class he showered with his underwear on). He was wrong this time. Roxas stroked him with one hand while he slid the other down to cup his balls and then on down under him to grip his ass. Axe closed his eyes and focused on his breathing and Roxas’ hands. A sharp nip at his thigh made him look up as Roxas said, “I want you to watch.”

Axel couldn’t use his words as Roxas took full advantage of all he had. He licked and lathed every inch and swallowed him all the way down. Axel could count on one hand the number of times that had happened and he had been blown more times than he could count on any number of hands. Even crazy ass Larxene had left a couple inches so her sadistic ass could squeeze him to keep him from getting off.

He could feel the small puffs of air from Roxas’ nose pressed against his belly as one hand left his ass, searching for…his hand? Roxas grabbed his hand and pulled it toward his hair and Axel didn’t hesitate. He grabbed his hair gently with both hands and Roxas moaned and pulled back and started back down. As he did, Axel tugged his hair making him moan again, louder.

Axel was panting. The harder he tugged Roxas’ hair the more he seemed to like it. He couldn’t watch anymore, he was gonna come right down his fucking throat and it would be over. He squeezed his eyes shut and tried to mentally recite the periodic table. _Oh Goddam!_ He could feel Roxas’ throat working and squeezing him. The wet slurping sounds he made and the moaning was drowning out his mental recitation and the bubbly, slimy drool was draining down his balls to his ass.

He was quietly cursing his maker while his whole body shivered with pleasure. He had to look, he couldn’t help himself and as soon as he opened his eyes Roxas looked up at him. Axel groaned at the sight that would be seared into his brain for eternity. Roxas was fucking perfect in that moment. He pulled off him and quickly undid his own jeans. Axel pulled him down on top of him and kissed him as he reached down to grip Roxas’ cock. He whimpered and intensified the kiss and Axel used both hands to stroke them together. It took only seconds for them both to lose it. “Roxaas… goddamn Roxas fuck!”

Roxas lay there unmoving, thinking about how fucked up everything would be if Riku had come in during that, and he snickered.

“What’s funny Blondie?” Axel huffed as he realized the only thing he felt like moving was his mouth.

“Just thinkin,” Roxas croaked “how bad it would suck if Dad showed up early, again!” They both laughed and started to wriggle back into their clothes. Axel mentally checked himself again and repeated Demyx’s words – _we’re just fucking, we’re just fucking_.

  


Everyone had come home and settled into their weekend routine. Cloud text them all to say something had come up at work and he wasn’t going to be able to make it back for dinner. They all discussed whether or not it was a trap.

Sora was convinced that Cloud would be watching from Kairi’s tree out back so they made him go out and ask her. He walked out to the big old oak and yelled up to the treehouse. “Kairiiiii!”

She poked her head out and waved, “Hi Sora! Wanna come up?”

“No thank you, I just wanted to ask, do you have a friend over this weekend?”

“Yes I do, as a matter of fact.”

Sora’s eyes squinted as he stared up at her ready to watch her face for signs of lies. “Is it my dad?”

She looked utterly baffled. “No…”

Sora ran back into the house yelling, “She’s lying, she’s totally lying! Dad is up there! He’s gonna have the whole ShinRa army here and we’re all gonna go to pot smoker’s prison!!” He was quickly becoming hysterical.

Ventus whispered to Demyx and they went try to calm him down and get some meds into him. Roxas, Axel, and Vanitas listened to his rant trail off up the stairs and decided that they were going to party anyway.

  


Demyx was sitting in the den playing his guitar. There were more people there than the previous weekend; more booze, more drugs, more sex, and a fight or two before it was over. The party was in full swing and Xion and Namine were dancing. Vanitas was shit-faced already.

Riku had come through with some amp and a few atom bombs for himself that he didn’t intend to share. He knew that Roxas was on junk, and Roxas knew that he knew but he also knew that Roxas didn’t want anyone else to know. After the swirling train of thought, Riku decided that he had spent too much time with Sora already. He lit up and wandered around, looking for his little slice of insanity.

He found him soon enough, playing some insane drinking game with a guy he had never seen before. “Hey Sora, walk with me,” he slurred.

“I don think I caaan,” Sora slid off the bar stool and stumbled toward Riku. “Tha fuck you been, Riikuu? I been sittin here with thiz guy, that guy…where he go??” Sora began looking around at all the people crowded into the kitchen. “He’s gone now…maybe he wasn’t never here…I think I wanna drink.”

“I think you just had a drink, Sor.”

Sora raised his eyebrows to try and get his eyes to open more but it didn’t work. “Ok so are you the drunk …drink police?”

Riku laughed “Maybe I am for you.” He led Sora to the den where he found them a spot to sit and fry. Settling back with his arm protectively around Sora, he was sure would he be passed out within minutes. He loved being with the brunette; he made him feel _better_. He knew he was sick…but Sora made him _better_.

He tripped on all the people dancing, singing, yelling, laughing, puking, crying. This was where he liked to be and now he had someone to be there with him, openly.

His lips were numb and he felt like he wasn’t really there. He tasted formaldehyde and he had too much spit in his mouth. He could have sworn he turned his head three or four times before he actually looked at Sora; he was out. Riku smiled and leaned over to kiss his nose. Sora turned his head and opened his eyes, but they weren’t focused. He laid with his head on Riku’s shoulder, mouth open, drooling. Running fingers through chocolate spikes, he smiled.

Ventus walked over, laughing. “Hey Riku! Sora is wasted yeah?” Riku nodded, still smiling.

Ventus smiled back, “You know he’s crazy about you.” Riku grinned and nodded again and Ventus strolled away.

Axel walked by and handed Riku a bottle of vodka, looked down at him and winked, and started to walk away. “Hey Axel!” Riku yelled and Sora grunted.

Axel turned around and went back. “You got your friend tonight?” Riku asked as he rubbed his nose with a finger.

“You know it.” Axel shared his goods and then moved on.

Soon Riku couldn’t be still so he got up and put Sora over his shoulder and wandered off to mingle. Everyone who talked to Riku greeted Sora’s ass. Someone decided it would be fun to autograph his ass… and that escalated quickly.

Zexion showed up late, spoke to Riku briefly, signed Sora’s ass and left. A guy with pink hair got into a fight with Xigbar, the bouncer from the club where Xion and Namine work. Roxas was dancing with Xion and they were drawing an audience. Axel watched them intently until Roxas dragged him over to join them. That also escalated quickly. Xion was in heaven between the two of them and everyone loved the free show. Axel and Roxas soon headed for the stairs and other people started to dance again.

As soon as they entered the bedroom Roxas started shedding clothes. Axel got a bump and started repeating his mantra _– we’re just fucking_. Roxas was oblivious to any emotions Axel had anyway; junkies only love junk. He grabbed Roxas and threw him onto the bed laughing.

Axel lit a cigarette and Roxas looked up at him. “You gonna fuck me, or smoke?”

Axel shed his shirt, started unbuttoning his jeans and smirked, “Blow me, Blondie and then I’ll decide if I’m fuckin you or not.” Roxas laughed at him and dragged him closer to the bed where he sat.

In the back of Axel’s drug addled mind somewhere, his inner voice was screaming in rage and pain. This was wrong on so many levels. The Axel behind the wheel tonight said, “Fuck it. If Roxas Strife wanted to be a junkie whore, he would get treated like one.” Somewhere between that cigarette and the next Axel got his dick sucked, Roxas got a facial, Axel finished his blow, Roxas banged some H while Axel watched and said nothing, and then he bailed leaving his humanity behind for the night.

  


Riku skated and debated. Dangling over his shoulder was a perfectly good boyfriend waiting to happen if he could just shake Roxas. It wasn’t fair to be with Sora when he was still so gone on Roxas. Would Sora understand if he told him about Roxas? Would he end up with neither of them? The truth mattered and Sora deserved it either way.

Sora woke up upside down with a draft on his ass…and he was moving. _What the fuck?_ When he was able to focus, he saw the ground moving too fast to be walking. His ass was cold! He was being carried, he thought. _That looks like Riku’s ass right there_. He sniffed the shirt, _yep,_ _Riku_. He looked up and realized he was outside zooming around on Riku’s shoulder while he was skateboarding up and down their street, making big swerves from one side to the other. He heard talking. Someone else was skating too and it sounded like Ventus. That made sense but why was his ass so cold?

Sora could feel Riku’s arm around his legs to keep him safe so he held his arms out to the side and yelled, “I’m FLYING!!!”

Riku and Ventus burst out laughing and headed back inside. Once inside Riku was helping Sora adjust his pants and telling him how everyone had signed his ass. Sora was laughing and looking around the room at all the people. “Look, Axel is getting awful cozy with Xion up there. Where’s Rox?”

Riku scanned the room and then looked back at the dancers. He moved closer and turned to Sora. “That’s not Axel.”


	13. STAY

STAY

  


Reno Sinclair was not a patient man. He had lived a hard life and never once gained a goddamn thing by waiting for shit. After hearing the last of Cloud’s conversation with his brother he wasn’t going to wait for Cloud to return his calls. He hit Twilight Town right after dark, dressed for a frat party.

He looked like just another college kid in jeans, sneakers, and a leather jacket- okay he looked a little punkish but he didn’t care and his red hair, wild but pulled into a ponytail made the red tattoos on his face stand out against his pale skin.

When he arrived at Strife House there were people everywhere. Some guy was walking around with another guy over his shoulder and people were writing on his ass with sharpies. Surveying the scene, he milled around carrying a bottle of whiskey. He smoked some weed that turned out to be amp so he was more fucked up than he intended to get already. _It’s a party though_ , he thought, _so what the hell._ He would explain himself when he had to and not a second before.

The red-haired imposter popped an Ativan he scored off another guy so he wouldn’t be balls out willy wonka off the amp. He had been spending a lot of time with Cloud so that meant less of all this and sometimes he forgot how young he actually was. Axel was lucky. Axel was his soul. Axel was… _shit!_ He was right there.

 

Reno strolled in the other direction and melded into the crowd. He had only seen Axel for a second but he noted that he was with Roxas and he was more stoned than he had seen him since…well...that’s another story for another time. A part of Reno wanted to go right to Axel’s side and stay there- they were like magnets when they were near one another. Axel could play nerdy school boy all he wanted but as soon as he was with Reno, he was just the Runt. There was a certain level of ‘fuck it’ you had to maintain to be a Sinclair.

Reno watched his brother and Cloud’s junkie kid dance with a stripper. He could tell right where that was headed and wasn’t surprised when Axel and Roxas made their way upstairs. He was a little freer to move about then.

He spoke to Vanitas, who wasn’t making much sense but from what he comprehended, the blonde stripper was his, seeing as he broke a guy’s nose for grabbing her ass twice. She was a stripper so the first time was a freebie with a warning. _Smart kid,_ Reno thought. _Hope Cloud is_ _giving him enough credit._ The guy carrying the other guy turned out to be the Dean’s kid (the carrier) and Sora (the carried). He could say one thing for sure, Cloud’s kids were NOTHING like their straight-laced military dad. _But that’s how it always is, right?_

Someone put their hand on his arm. He turned to see a dark haired girl dressed in a black skirt that looked more like a belt, a tiny top, and her shoes… _oh, another stripper!_ She was pretty gone but just on booze it seemed.

“Hi again!” She smiled and he realized she thought he was Axel. He made a mental note to try and drop the ‘yo’ from his speech as long as he was playing Axel. “Hi beautiful.”

“I can’t believe Roxas left you unattended. He knows that I can’t be trusted.” Xion leaned on him so he put an arm around her and pulled her closer.

“Well that’s just his loss, right?”

She giggled and he offered her some of the whiskey he was holding. She drank and began to gossip about people at the party. “Did you see Sora? He is so wasted. Did you sign his ass yet? I saw Vanitas punch that guy earlier for fucking with Namine. I’m glad he did, that guy is just a lech.” She turned to Reno and put her hands on his chest. “Can I ask you something, babyface?”

“Anything doll.” Reno thought of a lot of things he wished she would ask like: _Can I blow you? Will you fuck me? Will you fuck me and the other stripper?_ Things like that.

“Will you dance with me?” Xion still had her hands on his chest so he put his hands on her waist and pulled her against him and whispered, “Sure but I want something in return.”

She giggled and he felt her shiver. “Maybe…depends on what you want, Axel,” she said sweetly into Reno’s ear. He pulled back to look at her. If she was going to realize he wasn’t Axel, it would be at that moment. He looked into her blue eyes- Nothing.

Smiling slightly, he brushed his lips against the corner of her mouth, across her cheek to her ear where he whispered, “Just a kiss.”

He could feel her holding her breath and did his little victory dance inside his head. She smiled as she moved her hands to his shoulders and he kissed her softly. She tasted good…and the redhead’s mind wondered about boundaries and line-crossing and wasn’t she someone’s girl?

She deepened the kiss and ran a hand up into his hair and tugged, wanting more. He pulled back and looked at her again, _oh yeah_ , he had this. He ravaged her mouth as he snaked his arms around her and lifted her off the floor. _Short chicks, ya gotta love em_. She wrapped her legs around his waist and he slid his hands under her ass to hold her up.

As he broke the kiss, she started to put her legs down to stand so he let her slide down his body and as she did she looked at him with a little shock in her eyes. Reno thought his cover was blown and he was silently relieved when her eyes fell to his jeans. _Great_ , _she still thinks I’m_ _Runt,_ he thought, _and apparently he’s been a good boy and word hasn’t gotten around_ _because_ _she looks surprised._ He laughed to himself as she lifted her eyes back to his face. _Well it’s only been a week and he is the slut twin,_ Reno thought, and then mentally horse laughed himself. _Keep tellin yourself that, yo._ “Wanna dance now?” Reno asked and Xion just nodded, smiled and led the way.

He was enjoying his dance with Xion even though he had no idea what her name was- he didn't care because they all answer to baby. She was getting dirty with it and he was down. Cloud had his meltdown and pulled a disappearing act and Reno figured he was headed to Nibelheim to talk to his ghosts. _He’s a grown man with grown kids and don't need no babysitter_ , Reno thought _. And he obviously don't want one or he would answer his stupid cell._ _Fuck it. I'm dancing with this tiny little hottie who clearly wants to eat me alive…_ _well, eat Axel alive. I'm not going to spend my time worrying about Blondie. I'm sure he's got Sephiroth to talk to._ He mentally scolded himself. _That was cold, yo-funny but cold_.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw the Dean’s kid looking at him and he could see it in his face, his time as Axel was up _. This'll go a lot better if it don't go down in front of everybody. There are people everywhere so....delay!_ Formulating a quick plan, Reno whispered to Xion, "If you're done teasin me you can take advantage of me now."

She grabbed his hand and dragged him to the kitchen and through the double doors to the porch outside. There were a few people out there but none were lucid enough to care what they were talking about. "Wanna go to my dorm?" she asked as Reno lit a cigarette.

"Sure. We walking?"

"Yeah it’s not far." The two walked across the yard and away from the party and he felt a little better… but he knew tomorrow was going to be a bitch.

  


Riku looked again and turned to Sora. “That’s not Axel.”

“Wow” Sora gaped.

Riku rolled his eyes and whispered, “Wow is right. That must be his brother. I see you already fixated on the next shiny object and forgot all about me.”

Sora laughed. “No, I thought we should go say hi, but after watching them for a few minutes I’d say they’re gonna want to be alone.”

“Yeah looks like it. We’ll catch em later.” Riku and Sora wandered through the crowd and soon saw Axel’s brother leave with Xion. They nodded at each other knowingly and went in search of food.

  


The party started winding down and everyone found a place to sleep or left. Demyx and Axel went to the dorm soon after Roxas fell asleep. They had no reason to stay and cuddle…they were just fucking. The musician and the redhead talked as they walked. “Goddamn, are we going the right way Dem?”

“Yes.” Demyx was solemn as he carried his guitar.

“Look man, I am extremely wasted right now, but I know something is wrong with you.” Axel pointed his finger in Demyx’s general direction.

“I’m just fucked up. I had class this morning, remember?”

“Oh yeah, I had forgot with all the daddy drama.” Axel thought back to his conversation with Cloud and he wished he had just kept his mouth shut. If he had, Cloud wouldn’t have bailed on them and this party wouldn’t have happened. He wouldn’t be staggering home with Demyx with his brains liquefied.

“Sora looked happy, yeah?” Demyx smiled.

Axel started to laugh, his mind leaving the gloom. “Yeah he was havin a great time. Riku seems to really care about him.”

“Yeah, at first Roxas was being a real douche about Riku. Glad he seems to have changed his mind. You know Sora and Roxas are really tight…I mean they’re all close, but those two. It’s not as obvious as it used to be; they used to whisper to each other a lot. It was creepy. It used to scare the shit outta me to be honest.”

Axel chuckled as he thought about Reno and how close they were. He wondered if it would scare Demyx the way they were when they were together. Probably. “Wonder what changed.” He was fishing since Demyx felt like sharing.

“Roxas got on junk.” Demyx said matter-of-factly. Axel was shocked. _Did everyone know?_ Since Roxas hadn’t told him to keep it quiet, he decided he wasn’t going to tip toe around the subject anymore.

“How long’s that been?”

Demyx thought for a minute. “Well over a year now. He’ll get junk sick sometimes and clean up but he always goes back. He’s a good guy, but he’s a junkie. He loves the shit. That’s why I couldn’t figure why he had such a big problem with Riku. Riku uses but he will bang a while and kick. He’ll smoke bombs like he did tonight and then sweat it out before Monday. He was a mess when he came here but he has his shit more together now.”

“What ya mean a mess?” Axel asked as they walked into their building.

“He had to come here because…”

Demyx was interrupted by Larxene in her pajamas. “Do you know what time it is?!”

“Time for you to stop yelling, ya crazy bitch,” Demyx grumbled.

“You two are lucky I forgot to lock the door tonight! You’d be stuck at whatever deviant immature, illegal function you just came from!”

Axel was tired and disheartened…he just wanted to go to bed so he held his arms out as if making a grand presentation. “We were attending a deviant, immature, illegal and public, fucking of your mother. Goodnight Larxene.”

Larxene screamed, Demyx roared with laughter and Axel smiled and walked away. The two went in and crashed.

  


Riku woke in the wee hours beside Sora and decided to avoid further fallout with Roxas by making himself scarce. He looked down at chocolate spikes against the anime pillow slip and smiled. Sora was everything fun and funny… he felt lighter when he was with him and he wondered why he felt as if he was stealing is light somehow… it was because of Roxas. _At least me and Rox have junk in common… Sora is a good soul and deserves better than I’ll ever be._ Just when he was pulling on his jeans and making up his mind to tell Sora about his feelings for Roxas (but definitely NOT when he was drunk) Sora looked up from the bed and reached out his hand. “Stay?”

Riku smiled when he wanted to cry and immediately crawled back into bed. He kissed Sora and whispered “Yes.” That simple feeling of being with someone who was happy to have you there, whether you were in a room alone or a house full of people, made all the difference.


	14. TAKE A BOW, RENO

TAKE A BOW, RENO

  


Reno hardly slept. When Xion started to stir he was sitting at the window smoking his breakfast. He had taken it upon himself to make coffee and the smell of it brewing was heavenly. She looked at the empty bed, then around the room. The sun was shining through his red hair and it made an aura around him as he turned to look at her. “Mornin’,” he said, tipping his head to the side.

She was a beautiful train wreck and it made him smile. She smirked as she looked him over…just jeans, long legs, and a rosary; _he has tattoos on his feet?_ _Ouch_. She vaguely recalled a big tattoo that was done in red ink like the ones on his face. It was a phoenix that covered part of his back but flames and feathers made long swirls around his ribs on one side and down his right hip and thigh. She could see some of it as he sat smoking.

“Good morning,” she replied as she got out of bed and put on his shirt. She went directly to the bathroom where he heard her brushing her teeth. He sat back in the chair turning the ring on his thumb and debated on what he should tell her when she came out.

Xion emerged from the bathroom and got some coffee cups for them. “How do you like it?’ She asked as she poured the coffee.

“Thanks…black,” Reno said as he reached for the cup.

Xion smiled and sat down across from him. “You’re welcome…me too.”

“Ahh, I knew it. I didn’t think you were the fancy coffee type, yo.” Reno chuckled. “Look babe, I need ta tell ya somethin.”

Xion sat her coffee down and put her right hand on her lap. She knew this was too fucking good to be true _. Goddammit. Nobody is that hot and good in bed without a catch._ If he was a psycho she was gonna gut him like a fish…It would be self-defense.

Reno watched her body language and sat back in his chair holding his coffee in front of his chest. She was looking him over warily now; the scars on his torso and on his shoulder. One was clearly a gunshot wound. She nodded her head for him to continue.

“First off, whatever ya reachin for under this table, forget it, yo. I’m not some nut-job with a stripper fetish. But I gotta be straight with ya cause ya deserve the truth.”

Xion slowly put both her hands on the table and stared at him coldly. “Go ahead then.”

He thought for a second about the glare he was getting and the fact that she was ready to fuck him up from GO. _She would make a good Turk_. “Remember last night when I asked ya to stop callin my name?” Xion nodded and her eyes squinted slightly as the scrutiny in her gaze increased. “Well, I did that cause it’s _not_ my name. Axel is my twin brother. I was comin to visit him and showed up early…he didn’t even know I was at the party yo.”

Xion’s eyes narrowed to slits and she frowned. “Why?”

Reno drank half his coffee in one gulp just in case she threw him out. “I was kinda checkin up on my bro… I mean I hear shit and I gotta look out for him. He’s all the family I got yo.”

As Reno spoke, Xion watched the light glint off the beads of his rosary. She could understand what he was doing but it was shitty that he told her this AFTER he fucked her into her mattress twice. She was a big girl though, not some cry baby so she dropped her eyes to the coffee cup in front of her and muttered, “Ok”.

Reno looked at her cautiously. “Ok what, yo?”

“Ok about last night! Look, whoever you are, I’m not a crybaby bitch. I would’ve fucked you even if I knew you weren’t Axel. It was shitty of you to not tell me outright last night, but thinking back, you did give me chances to figure it out for myself, even before we left the party. Your tattoos are different, your hair is different, and you speak like you’re from Midgar. Truth is I’ve only met your brother twice briefly. I was drunk the first time and hung over the second. So it’s not a big deal, ok?” She drank her coffee and stared him down.

He smirked. “My name’s Reno. Imma Turk.”

She was familiar with the organization that passed for government officials but operated like the mafia, and she was impressed. “I’m Xion, nice to meet you.” She stood and walked over to Reno never losing eye contact.

"Likewise," he muttered and watched her as she reached for him. He reached for her as she put her hands on his shoulders and straddled his lap.

She touched his scars lightly and smirked. "So are you the good twin or the evil one?"

Reno slid his hands down her thighs then back up, pushing the shirt nearly to her waist as he squeezed her hips. "What ya want me ta be?"

Xion scooted closer and ground against him. "I want you to be Reno the Turk."

He slid his hands across her ass and up her back pulling the shirt over her head. "That's easy, yo."

 

He stood and carried her back to bed where he released her and let her undress him. She kissed his chest and abs as she helped him shed his jeans and then he pressed her down onto the pillows, kissing her. She gasped as he touched her- the night before and early morning had been quite the adventure and Xion was feeling it. He rolled his hips, pressing himself to her thigh and she moaned and decided the pain would be worth it. She loved the feel of his hands on her as he caressed her skin, and he was careful not to mark her as he kissed and gently. He knew a stripper’s body was her bread and butter and wasn’t trying to cause her any problems. She kissed him as though she was worshipping him with one hand threaded into his hair and the other smoothing down his back, feeling his muscles work as he moved.

She briefly thought of the condoms from the previous night but it was soon out of her mind as he entered her gently. Hearing her gasp, he stilled his hips but continued to touch her and kiss her, murmuring in another language. Xion was overwhelmed as she wrapped her legs around his back and bucked her hips.

Reno stopped his whispers and groaned, "I don't wanna hurt ya.”

Xion writhed under him and whimpered, "Please..." He rose up from her a bit and she could feel his rosary dragging across her breasts as she looked into a stare of raw desire. He began to move and her pain was replaced by ecstasy. Her first orgasm shook her and twisted her inside, but he was relentless, pushing her knees up and apart as she climaxed a second time.

She screamed and he could feel her body tightening around him again. _One more baby_ , he thought as he pulled out and flipped her onto her stomach. She started to rise up to her knees but he pushed her down flat and said 'uh-uh' before bending to kiss her back as he spread her legs and bent her knees.

She arched as he entered her again and she came almost immediately screaming into the sheets. _Maaaaybe one more_ he thought, noticing how limp her limbs were becoming after she had stopped screaming, and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her upright as he sat back on his knees. She pressed back against him as he rolled his hips and she reached up to tangle her hands in his hair. Holding her against him with one arm, he teased her nipples then slid his hand sown to the moisture on her thighs. He could feel his stomach tightening and he whispered, "You want this, baby?"

Xion was not in control; her body was reacting to his every touch. "Yes!" She moaned as he pounded her harder.

"Tell me again." Reno pleaded as he crushed her to him mercilessly.

"Yes, Reno!"

He growled out "Fuck!" as he came and she screamed as she came again feeling the swell of him inside her.

 

He laid her down gently and then collapsed by her, whispering, “Glória Patri, et Fílio, et Spirítui Sancto. Sicut erat in princípio, et nunc, et semper, et in sæcula sæculórum. Amen.”

Xion laughed breathlessly. "Why are you praying?"

He smiled and closed his beautiful eyes. "In case I have a heart attack, yo. I’ll die prayin to the Father." Reno made the sign of the cross and Xion laughed, touched his rosary, and then rested her hand on his chest.

After she pondered the fact that she would be useless for the rest of the day, she asked, "Why do you need to check up on Axel? Is he in some kind of trouble? "

Reno reached up and covered her hand with his. “He wasn't when he came here; I just wanna make sure it stays that way yo."

Xion nodded. "He's always with the Strife boys so that could go either way."

Reno licked his lips deciding how to play this. Everything he had done since he arrived at Strife House had been work… even her. Sex with college girls wasn’t his preference but as far as gathering intel, pillow talk was very effective. "Why is that? Are they like 2 good and 2 evil or what?"

"You could say that."

"Wanna expand on that, yo?"

Xion looked at him and smiled, "Is it going to get anyone arrested, Mr. Turk?"

"Honestly it depends. Are there dead bodies?" Reno smirked.

"Not yet." Xion looked far away for a moment, then said "Come on, we need a shower."

Reno figured that was all he was getting so they hit the shower. As they left her room he heard five other doors click open and looked up to see every door on the hall ajar with enquiring eyes peeking; no doubt to see what all the noise was about in her room. Xion noticed as well and grinned. "Take a bow, Reno." He turned and bowed low with a flourish and was answered by a chorus of giggles.

He took her out for breakfast in town where she told him about the Strife boys' party calendar and suggested that Reno come back often. She also gave him a business card from the club where she danced. As he drove them back to campus he thought of Cloud. _He just bailed on everyone. How self-absorbed does a person have to be to just walk away from everyone who_ _cares for them, especially his kids?_ Xion derailed his train of thought as she remarked, "I love your car." Reno smiled and thought, _she thinks she really likes me but she's just dick-notized_.

  


At the Strife house Roxas was the only one awake. He was crawling around searching for some dope; just enough to get him straight and he was starting to sweat. _Sora_ , he thought, _Sora will_ _help me_. He crept into Sora’s room where he was asleep with Riku. _Score!_ thought Roxas _. Surely_ _Riku is holding_. He shook Sora’s arm. “Hey, Sor, wake up.”

Sora mumbled but didn’t open his eyes. Roxas tried again, “Wake up Sora. I need you to wake up.”

Again Sora grunted and slept on. Roxas started to shake Riku but as soon as he touched his arm Riku’s eyes popped open wide and blinking. “Hey Riku, I need something man. You got any?”

“No Roxas,” Riku hissed, “I don’t have anything on me.”

Roxas frowned, “Can’t you go and get some?” He was scratching at his arms while he talked.

“No, I can’t just go and get it, besides you need to clean up. You’re a wreck right now.”

Riku released Sora as he rolled away from the whispering and slept on. Roxas got down on his knees beside the bed, “Come on, Riku. You don’t have anything at all? You know I’m good for it. Can you get some from Zex?”

Riku sat up on the side of the bed and pulled the sheet across his lap. “No Rox, just no ok? I’m serious man, you need to go to bed and sleep that shit off.”

Roxas tugged at the sheet and whined, “You got somethin, I know you do. You just don’t want to give it to me.” He tugged the sheet more and Riku tugged back.

“Stop it, Rox. It’s not gonna work this time.”

“Come on, Riku.” Roxas slid his hand under the sheet between Riku’s thighs, “You fixed me last time. You let me blow you after.” Riku pushed his hand away.

“That was before. That won’t be happening anymore. You should shut the fuck up before your brother hears and you break his fuckin heart; sitting here trying to suck my dick for a hit. Goddammit Roxas.”

Roxas was starting to cry, sitting there on the floor. “Just gimme somethin, Riku.”

Riku couldn't look at Roxas when he was like that because it reminded him of what a piece of shit he was for giving him that first hit.

“All I got is Ambien. Hand me my pants over there.” Roxas did as he was told and when Riku handed him the pacifiers he said, “Take these and go to bed.” Roxas nodded and scurried off to his room.

Riku fell back on the bed thinking about how pathetic Roxas was because of him. He thought about how pathetic _he_ was. Rubbing his wrists, he felt the smooth scars and when he closed his eyes, he saw the blood. He stared at the ceiling while he listened to Sora breathing and finally dozed off to sleep only to dream about what happened…

_  
_ _  
__He was tired. He didn’t know a person could be that tired and not die. How does your heart not just say fuck it all? He sat on his bathroom floor with his head on the toilet seat. He was alone in the huge house, as usual, except for the maid._

_He was so tired of being alone and strung out. His soul was tired. School was out for winter break so he went home to the Island with every intention of never leaving. He wanted to die at home. In his bathroom on the floor, he cut his right wrist first, then his left. The cuts were deep, so deep that he could barely hold the blade with his right hand to cut his left… but he did, and leaned his head over on the toilet seat to wait. Soon everything went black and silent._

_Suddenly he heard a man’s deep voice say “Wake Up!”_

  
Riku sat straight up in bed, drenched in sweat, and looked around. Sora was there, still sleeping but the sun was up higher now. He felt empty, sad. He rubbed at his scars and looked around the room. He hated dreaming about that day and the misery he was in, but he would never forget the sound of the voice or how it filled him with warmth, if only for a second. Drawing his knees up to his chest he wept silently.


	15. MAN-KISS CHERRY

MAN-KISS CHERRY

  


Reno grabbed his bag from his car and went straight to Axel's building. Walking inside he didn't stop to admire the architecture or speak to the nosy RA who was staring daggers at him. Stopping outside his brother’s door, the Turk listened to faint snoring, then rapped very lightly with his knuckle. Nothing…so he proceeded to pick the lock and enter silently like the hitman he was. One side of the room had a bed with a completely covered lump, 2 guitars, various study materials and one very familiar copy of War and Peace. The other side had a very soundly sleeping twin. _Score!_ Reno dug through his bag and set to his work.

  


At Strife House, Vanitas was making coffee. His head felt horrible and Namine was pissed yet again. She claimed he was making out with a guy at the party… _that_ had never happened before. _Oh well_ , he thought, _she’ll be over it by the weekend._ _I got a paper due Wednesday and another Friday so…I got shit to do anyways._ He had to admit though: guy or no guy, he hadn't been that wasted in quite a while. He wondered if their dad would be back later that day.

Ventus came through to grab coffee and glare at him. "Last night was out of control. Demyx didn't stay, I don't think. He wasn't in bed when I woke up."

"You woke up in bed. That puts you one up on me, bro! I woke up on the bathroom floor with Namine yelling at me in her native tongue. Apparently, I was hooking up with a guy." Vanitas giggled.

"Way to go!" Ventus laughed out loud.

"Whatever…I just wish I could remember! That Amp though, goddamn." Vanitas laughed.

"Sora and Rox up yet?" Ventus asked absently as he searched the fridge.

"Donno, Sora was _so_ gone last night," Vanitas chuckled. "Did Riku stay over?"

"Donno, but I was skating with him at one point and he had Sor slung over his shoulder…Sora woke up and thought he was fucking flying."

"I'm wonderin where this Axel thing is goin with Roxas," Vanitas pondered. 

"You think it's a thing or think they're just fucking?" Ventus asked.

"Well he was all over Xion last night and I didn't see Roxas anywhere around."

"Maybe they're just fucking then."

Sora came into the kitchen in his Mickey Mouse boxers looking puffy-eyed but happy. Ventus and Vanitas giggled at all the signatures that were showing from the band of his underwear. "What you guys laughing at?" Sora mumbled. He scratched his head which made his hair even wilder.

Sora didn't ask again he just said, "Fuck you guys" and exited the kitchen.

Moments later they heard Sora laughing his ass off. He screamed, "Come here guys and watch this video! Everybody was talking to my aaassssss!!! And writing on it!"

They laughed as they walked into the den. "We were here, Sora. We signed it too."

Riku came downstairs in just a pair of jeans, smoking a cigarette. "Sexy, sexy!" Ventus hissed.

Riku smiled and winked as Vanitas turned to him and looked him over as if he was trying to confirm or deny Ventus’ assessment. After a second he said, "Did you see the guy I was getting friendly with last night?"

Sora looked at them both waiting. Riku nodded and extracted his phone from his back pocket. “I got it all, I think…”

_The video opened panning the room, not even pausing as it passed Axel eye-fucking Roxas who was dancing with everyone. After they had a very suggestive dance with Xion, the blonde and the redhead ascended the stairs together. Riku was filming as he worked the room carrying Sora piggyback._

_Yuna stood with Tidus drinking a beer as she slyly watched the couples. "What's your deal? Do you have a thing for Riku or something?" Tidus asked._

_"What!?  No! I was just looking at them...they're sweet together." Yuna said as she swatted the blonde._

_"What's sweet about it? It's two dudes." Tidus grumbled._

_"You know I’m not the only one, Tidus. There was a pic of Ventus kissing Demyx circulating not long ago and it was so hot." Yuna informed, sipping her drink._

_"Hot, are you kidding me?" Tidus laughed. "So you’re not watching them because you think it's romantic, you’re watching because you hope they'll kiss...unbelievable."_

_"I do think they're sweet together, though." Yuna admitted._

_Vanitas was just passing by and mumbled a comment when Titus grabbed him and gave him a big kiss on the cheek, then released him._

_"That's not what I'm talking about and you know it." Yuna said laughing at the stunned and very stoned Vanitas._

_"What I miss?" he asked Tidus._

_The popular jock laughed and sputtered "This psycho," pointing at his girlfriend. "Says it's hot when two guys kiss."_

_Yuna was standing with her arms folded smiling while she watched the two drunks converse as they swayed on their feet. Vanitas had been smoking Amp and was barely on the planet. She was surprised he could string words into a sentence, much less follow one._

_"So...you kissed me...wassat hot...Yuna? Yunaaa!” Vanitas bellowed making everyone around them laugh._

_"That one didn't count, Vanitas! “She yelled back at his goofy smile and slitted eyes._

_  
_

_Riku sat Sora down and found them a seat near the action. His voice could be heard off-camera as he spoke to Sora. "Shit’s about to get real with your drunk ass brother over there" he giggled and panned around to get Sora’s drunken gaze._

_Sora snickered. "He says he's straight but I know he's a big ole gay." he laughed and added "Don't let him get fucked Riku...he's too stoned."_

_"Tidus won't fuck him, Sor. As gay as Vanitas might be, I don't think Tidus is."_

_"Everybody's a little gay." Sora giggled._

_Fumbling the camera briefly, he focused as Yuna was explaining to Vanitas what she considered a hot man-kiss. "It has to be a hot kiss...like the way you would kiss a girl, Vani. That pic of Demyx and Ventus kissing...that was hot."_

_"So, go watch them kiss!” Tidus crowed._

_"I wanna see yoooou do it." She cooed at him making him wrap her in his arms._

_"What do I get if I do it?" He purred into her hair._

_"If you do it and make it hot, I’ll take you upstairs and blow you as soon as you're done."_

_Tidus' brows rose and he smiled. “Hey Vani! Wanna help me out here?"_

_Vanitas leered his way and said "Whatcha need buddy?"_

_"I need to kiss you so Yuna will blow me." Tidus said laughing as Yuna slapped his shoulder._

_Vanitas squinted bloodshot eyes and asked "So she’ll blow you...whadda I get?"_

_Everyone in their general vicinity laughed and nearly everyone had an eye on the three. "You get to kiss me!" Tidus roared. "You get my man-kiss cherry!”_

_Vanitas giggled and slurred, "OK! OK I'll do it. All my brothers do it so how bad can it be right?" The room erupted into laughter once again as Riku aimed his camera and Vanitas stepped closer to Tidus grinning. "Come ere, baby..."_

_Tidus was laughing so hard he needed a minute to get his composure as Yuna got her camera ready. Vanitas finished his beer and Tidus stopped his giggles. He stepped close to the raven and put a hand on his waist. "Straighten your shit up so you can get your head." Vanitas said smirking._

_Tidus watched as Vanitas' tongue flicked out to wet his lips, bringing his attention to the snake bites. He looked a little nervous until Vanitas’ rested a hand on his waist and the other on his neck._

_Vanitas tightened his grip on the taller boy’s neck and tugged him down, stroking his cheek with his thumb. Tidus gasped slightly as their lips met and instinctively put his hand in Vanitas' soft dark hair. Vanitas pressed closer and parted his lips slightly, teasing Tidus' lips apart with his tongue. When Tidus opened to him the kiss became heated and he seemed to shiver slightly. Tidus was lost in the kiss and moved his body closer, but suddenly broke the kiss, and looked at Vanitas’ mouth like it had spouted the secret to eternal life._

_The room erupted and Vanitas smiled drunkenly and said, "Not bad...now go get your dick sucked."_

_Tidus grinned and looked around at everyone laughing and taking pics and Yuna squealed and jumped to hug her boyfriend._

_As the happy couple ascended the stairs, Vanitas lit a smoke and seemed to ponder that he too had lost his man kiss cherry._

_The camera turned back to Sora’s drunken leer. "Told you... big ole gay."_

  


They all laughed at Vanitas as he covered his face. "It’s not so bad, Vani" Sora cooed "We all like peeeen." They roared with laughter. Before they could get their composure Ventus was pointing to Riku's lower abs where there were smears of sharpie marker. Riku nodded as they continued to laugh and Sora was turning slow circles trying to see more of his much decorated ass.

  


Back at the dorm, Axel was awakened by a pillow to the gut. He sat straight up in bed, bloodshot eyes wide with shock. There was something flashing in his eyes and he couldn't focus. The commotion woke Demyx who merely looked over, rubbing his eyes trying to figure what was going on. Laughter pealed through the room and the roommates were stunned. Reno was cackling wildly when Axel bounded out of bed naked and tackled him, laughing as well.

They wrestled and laughed on the floor briefly as Demyx tried to figure out what day it was. Reno stood and helped Axel up. "Gross man. You rubbed your junk all over me, yo!"

The first thing Demyx could register was that Axel's hair was in pigtails high on his head, making him look like a strange flower. The next thing he noticed was that the laughing man was- "Reno?" Demyx said.

Reno’s head snapped around at hearing a familiar voice. His eyes lit with recognition and he started toward the bed as Demyx stood up on it and jumped toward him. Axel didn't know if they were going to fuck or fight so be kept his distance and observed, still clueless about his make-over.

Reno caught him and hugged him tight.

"I thought I’d never see you again." Demyx huffed as Reno squeezed.

Axel's brows rose as he watched, still standing naked and pigtailed.

"I had no idea you were here with Axel. I didn’t come around after cause I didn't wanna be a reminder, yo. I was lettin ya move on."

"I've thought about you a lot. I'm so grateful. Every day, Reno."

Reno whispered into Demyx's hair as he looked heavenward with tears in his eyes. “Pater gratias ago tibi.”

By this time Axel's eyebrows were practically on top of his head. He dragged his sheet off the bed and started crafting a sort of toga, then proceeded to make coffee for Reno.

The two regained their composure and looked at Axel, and burst into laughter. He was perched on the window sill, smoking in his toga and pigtails, waving at people below.

  


They all had coffee while Reno caught up with both Demyx and Axel. The longer they sat and chatted, the more Demyx noticed that their movements seemed to be slowly syncing. It was a little disturbing. Then they began speaking in unison now and then. More creepy.

Reno tossed his bag in Axel's corner, saying he would probably only stay there one night. "I've gotta get a little work done on my study," Axel said as he and Reno stretched their backs.

"I got a paper to write for Monday," Demyx sighed.

"I gotta sleep, yo. That wasn't high on my list of priorities last night."

Axel and Demyx both offered their bed but Reno naturally chose Axel's. He crawled into bed, snuggled Axel's pillow and was out. Demyx and Axel showered and got to work. Each time Demyx looked up, Axel was a little closer to the bed with his laptop. In less than an hour Axel was on the bed beside the sleeping Reno, lying on his stomach typing, with his ankle across Reno’s shin.

Wrapping up what he needed to do he thought of the party the previous night… and Riku Valentine. There was something hauntingly beautiful about the boy...his silver hair and aqua eyes with their hollow stare. Axel had seen that stare before...during studies, doing volunteer work...at homeless shelters, support groups, rehab...

His utter outward appearance of physical perfection was probably balanced equally with a completely shattered mental and emotional state... and his dead eyes tended to return to Roxas...but why?

Roxas was beautiful, undeniably so and being a late-comer to the whole Strife House dysfunctionality, Axel may not have the whole story just yet. This guy, this beautiful broken doll, had probably been immersed in the quads’ lives for some time. He seemed to be enamored with Sora...but then he was always, _always_ eye fucking Roxas.

Axel stared at his computer screen where he had begun a file for Riku Valentine…resident drug dealer and junkie. He needed help…he knew he could help him but… _what would happen after? Will he pursue Roxas? How well does he know Roxas? He definitely knows him better than I do…_

_‘select all…backspace… undo…’_ Axel thought hard about the sad boy at Strife House and how much a of an ass he felt like for not wanting to help him…because of jealousy… he was a shrink, he should help him.

_‘select all…backspace…close…delete folder’_

Jealousy is a bitch and Riku Valentine was on his own

  


Reno shifted, Axel accommodated. It was automatic. It was amazing. Demyx thought about what that must feel like. He had never had a sibling, much less a twin.

Axel finished typing, closed his laptop and lay his head down. Reno rolled over facing Axel as Axel rolled to face Reno, then Axel bent his head down and put his forehead to Reno's chest and went to sleep. Demyx smiled as he finished his paper and left the twins to their nap.

He walked into Strife House looking for Ventus but what he found was Namine screeching at Vanitas. “Usted es un pedazo de mierda!!!!”

He nodded at Vani and carried on upstairs past Roxas' door where he heard crying. Pausing his quest, he knocked, "Roxas?"

A slurred voice cried, "Dem?"

He went inside to find Roxas on the floor crying, a complete mess. There was a syringe lying beside him and a drop of blood. Demyx squatted down in front of him and tried to get him to raise his head so he could see his eyes. "Look at me, Rox," coaxed Demyx.

Roxas' eyes were pin-holed, swollen and red. There was snot and drool on his face and he smelled like vomit. Looking at the syringe, Demyx asked “Rox where's your stuff? Is this all? Are you dry?"

Roxas' whimpered, "Get Riku for me. He's got somethin…he's always got somethin."

"Ok ok. You wanna take a shower or somethin while I find him?"

"Noooo," Roxas moaned. "It hurts, Dem just goooo."

Demyx left the room feeling helpless and looking for Riku. He checked Sora's room and found it empty, then he checked Ventus' room where he found the three of them discussing Roxas. "He needs to kick that shit" stated Riku. "He's been on too long. He has to hit just to stay straight and he can't keep going like that."

"We can put him in the hospital again." Sora offered.

"What about Dad?" Asked Ventus "Shouldn't Dad know about this?"

"Dad will lose his shit,” Sora murmured.

“I stopped in his room just now and he’s asking for you, Riku” Demyx offered as he hugged Ventus to show his support. Riku covered his face with his hands, thinking about what had happened earlier that morning while Sora slept…and hating himself a little more.

Ventus smiled and kissed Demyx. "Hey, why you leave me last night?"

"I had left my meds home."

"Oh ok. Say have you seen Axel?"

"Yeah," Demyx said, "He stayed at the dorm last night. His brother's here."

"Oh yeah. I had forgotten." said Sora, "What's he like?"

"I didn't realize it but I had met Axel's brother before. He helped me out of a jam once. He's a really good guy."

"So what we gonna do about Roxas?" Riku interrupted, appalled that the conversation had turned so easily away from their suffering sibling. "I can fix him but I swear you guys, he needs to get clean."

Everyone nodded and dispersed so that Riku could do what he did. He headed to Roxas’ room as Sora, Ventus, and Demyx went downstairs. Hearing the shouting, Sora promptly told Namine, "Shut your fucking whore mouth! I’m tired of hearing it! If you’re gonna blow up at Vani every weekend for doing the same goddamn shit you take money for, then you need to quit your fucking job or shut your fucking mouth!"

The room quieted and Sora added with one hand on his hip and his other pointing at her shocked face, "Now I'm going to get my goddamn chocolate milk and cookies and your ass better be gone when I get back." He marched off to the kitchen and Demyx and Ventus ran from the room laughing.

  


When Riku walked into Roxas’ room, he closed the door and flipped the lock. Roxas was lying on the bathroom floor silent and shivering. Riku took one look at him and felt his stomach rebel. His mind went directly back to ‘that day’. He reached for anything to hold onto as his head swam with the memory. Falling into a chair near Roxas’ doorway, he sat with his head in his hands for a moment and tried to shake it off as he stood. He had to go in there and check on Roxas. Stepping into the bathroom (much smaller than the one he had died in) he looked down at the blonde. Roxas was staring through slit eyes, shivering, and filthy. Riku stepped around him to turn on the shower and since Roxas’ eyes didn’t follow him, he figured he didn’t even realize he was there.

He had been where Roxas was and the thought made him shiver. Leaning down, he began to strip off the dirty clothes and his mind wandered back to a time when he was 17… He remembered how Hayner sat and cried because he thought he was going to die… how no adult ever came to help, so he just sat there with him, day and night, until he came around. He helped Riku to the bathroom, to the shower, gave him water, food when he could hold it, even brushed his hair…

Riku sighed and hauled a naked, shaking Roxas into the bathtub where he curled into a ball. Riku stood, lit a cigarette and hopped up onto the counter to wait him out. _Fucking junkie_. He could see himself lying there. He looked down at his wrists and thought of Sora.

If he had noticed the scars he hadn’t asked about them. Riku usually kept them camouflaged with bracelets and bands, but if you looked at them in the sun you could still see how long they were… _sign of weakness._

When Roxas began to move, Riku hopped off the counter and got to work. Roxas whined and cried while Riku cried and scrubbed. When he deemed him ‘clean enough’ he turned the water off and wrapped him in towels. He dried and sniffled and Roxas stared. “Riku…”

“What?” Riku snapped, unable to meet his eyes.

“S-sorry.” Roxas muttered.

Riku stopped drying and glared at him. “Don’t ever apologize to me for… this.”

Roxas only looked back with hollow eyes. As tears streaked his cheeks, Riku wrapped him in a hug and they cried together.

"Stay with me..." Roxas croaked as Riku tucked him into bed but he shook his head "I'll send one of your brothers. You need to sleep and if I stay... I 'll send someone."

Roxas agreed and Riku knew the worst was over this time and the truth was, he couldn’t get away fast enough. He left him in bed and went down to tell his brothers, then headed back to his own dorm to shoot enough to forget.


	16. LAYERS

LAYERS

  


Reno and Axel awoke, rolled in opposite directions and sat up on either side of the bed. They scratched their heads and turned to look at each other. “Coffee” they said as they stood and stretched.

Soon they were wide awake and roaming campus. Axel showed Reno the quarry, just in case he needed a body dump in the area. Reno showed Axel his new bite marks, courtesy of Xion. He explained that he had come early to surprise him and to check up. “I saw you last night and you were outta your mind, yo.”

“Yeah, smoking amp. I was pretty gone.” Axel smiled. “Had to keep my head a bit though. That blonde I been hangin out with- one of the quads- I found out he’s a junkie.”

“That sucks.”

“Yep” Axel continued “He’s hot but you know how junkies are, man. He’s been all over me but I’m not gonna fuck him while he’s strung out like that.”

“Good call, Runt.”

“Yeah, so you and Xion?”

“Nah, man. Not me AND anybody, but she’s handful, lemme tell you. And brother you haven’t missed that boat yet, yo. I’ll be gone in a day or so and she’ll be lookin for ya.” Reno smirked.

“Aaah so it’s like that.” Axel laughed.

“She’s hooked, so gird your fuckin loins, yo.” Reno flicked his cigarette into the large fountain and they laughed as they headed for Strife House.

  


Vanitas was lying on the sofa when the doorbell rang. He approached the door listening. _Two_ _voices, male_. He peeked through the peephole to see two Axels. They lifted a smoke to their lips with opposite hands, turned their heads away from each other to blow smoke, and flicked their butts in opposite directions. He rubbed his eyes, cursed Riku’s dope, and opened the door to find there really were two!

“Come on in!” Vanitas said as he stepped back to let them in. They walked in and turned to face Vanitas who was watching them curiously.

“Vanitas, this is my brother Reno. Reno, Vanitas Strife.”

Vanitas smiled. “Good ta meet ya! Wanna beer?”

Reno beamed, “Hell yeah.”

“So where is everybody else?” Axel asked looking at the empty house.

“Ven, Dem, and Sora are out gettin shit for tonight and Rox is recoupin’ yanno?” Vanitas looked at his beer and Axel knew what he meant.

“You guys do this every weekend yo?” Reno asked in passing to see how much Vanitas would admit to.

“Yep, we only cancel when our dad’s around, but he doesn’t come around much, so… but usually every Friday and Saturday. Incidentally, if you’re free the first weekend of October we’ll be havin a toga party that Saturday. You should come.” Vanitas offered.

“I’ll try ta make it, but with my work I never know yo. I hafta come check up on the Runt here once in a while. Keep ‘im on the straight n narrow. So I’m sure I’ll be back at some point.” Reno assured him. They sat in the kitchen to talk about the upcoming festivities and Vanitas’ woman trouble.

  


In town, Sora, Demyx, and Ventus were about to enter the super center when Sora stopped short. “I see someone I know you guys, I’ll be right back.”

Ventus had a feeling who this someone was but said nothing as Sora trotted off toward the far side of the parking lot. Sure enough, there was the crazy bag lady that Sora had befriended. “Come on Dem” Ventus said, “We better get started. He’ll be a while.”

Sora waved as he neared the lady pushing the shopping cart away from the lot. “Hey Aerith!”

She looked a sight in her ratty coat and mismatched boots. Her hair was dirty and she probably smelled. Sora refrained from sniffing her, even though it made him chew his lip. He knew it would be gross…but he had to know how gross. He hadn’t sniffed her since the summer and boy that was a big mistake. She smiled her beautiful smile that made Sora want to cry. “Sora, how are you?”

He hugged her and sniffed anyway. _Fuck it_. “I’m good, how are you?”

She hugged like he thought a mom would hug, if he knew for sure what that was like.

"How is school going?" Aerith asked as she looked through the items in her cart mumbling about something that she called materia.

"Good, but we just started so…um, where are you planning on staying when it gets cold?" Sora asked as he watched her dig.

"I’ll probably stay at the shelter again this year. Those people are nice mostly. Not like… people… other people… cold, cold, cold. It’s cold at the Northern Crater. He’s there I bet. No, dead, dead, dead." She fell silent and stared before asking. "Are you going to be volunteering at the shelter again?" Aerith held up a bottle of cheap strawberry wine that was about 2/3 full.

"Yeah, as long as I'm not bombing a class."

"I hope you do well. I found this potion…do you want some?” She held out the bottle to Sora. “It'll help you. How are your brothers? And your dad?" She always looked sad when she asked about his family and Sora wondered about her family and if she had any. He didn’t take the bottle so she started uncapping it.

"You know the usual." he frowned.

Aerith turned up the wine and passed it to Sora. He sniffed it and took a drink.

She took another drink and said, "Brother still got that problem huh? What's your dad say?"

Sora shook his head, "Still haven't told him."

She frowned at that. "We should take him to see Bugenhagen." She paused again. "He should know, Sora…your dad."

"I know but, he'll freak out. Our dad's great but he's not the most stable guy."

Aerith laughed. "I get it. There are a lot of us out there; survivors, people who got left behind. I wanted to go…to go..." She laughed louder and Sora giggled. "I gotta go. I love you Aerith."

"I love you too baby…baby baby…” She was muttering again.

“Don't be cold ok. Go to the shelter. I'll see you there, I promise.” Sora reminded her.

"Come downtown sometime. Under the freeway- you know where I'll be with my little Sephiroth. He's so beautiful. I left him there you know...I left him…"

"Can I bring someone?" Sora asked.

"Sure! The more the merrier." She pushed her cart away toward the freeway still mumbling and Sora felt sad. Inside the store he caught up with Demyx and Ventus and finished their shopping. On the way home he thought about Aerith as he chugged a couple beers.

  


Back at the house people were starting to show up but Vanitas couldn't stop watching Axel and Reno. He lit a joint hoping it would keep him from getting motion sickness and stared as they talked. They gestured with opposite hands. Axel was left handed while Reno was right handed. They sat so close to each other their legs touched. He watched. They always seemed to be touching somewhere. He wasn't sure how that made him feel. He thought of Sora and Roxas and how close they used to be...

Suddenly Sora jogged thru the front door and straight upstairs. Slam. A few minutes later. Slam. Sora was back. "Hey Axel! Hey Axel's brother!" Sora paused, staring. His smile faded but his eyes sparkled as he looked at the two.

"Come on Sora, bring it," Axel grinned, holding out his arm, knowing instantly that Sora wanted to smell Reno. He looked at Reno who shrugged and mirrored Axel’s action. Sora bounded over to them, put an arm around each of their waists and planted his nose against first Axel then Reno. He breathed deeply…then did it again and moaned. "Oohh god."

The twins looked at each other and smiled as they hugged Sora close. They buried their faces in his hair and sniffed. The both mumbled, "Skittles mmm" and giggled.

He looked up at them and they smiled down at him then nuzzled his face on both sides. Sora closed his eyes and soaked it in as they caressed his back. The twins began whispering and Sora practically melted into them. Vanitas watched transfixed as they entwined their fingers at the base of Sora's spine. They muttered into his ears and he shivered and whined.

Vanitas could see slight smiles on their faces as they quieted and squeezed him to them, then slowly release him. Sora stepped away from them, eyes drooping, face completely slack. He stared. They smiled at him and cocked their heads to the side- Reno the right, Axel the left.

Sora grinned and croaked in his sleepy voice, "Goddamn you guys coulda at least bought me dinner first." He rearranged his junk and walked away mumbling about _hot ass red headed teases_. They laughed- a single sound coming from two people.

Vanitas was dizzy. He had to walk away and catch his breath. He couldn't look at them for more than a couple minutes after that. Reno and Axel noticed his discomfort and followed him. They held their arms out as they walked toward him. “Come and play with us.”

Vanitas looked over his shoulder with terror in his eyes as he spun to face them, heart pounding. They grinned, still approaching with their arms out. “Come and play with us, Vani. Foreeveerrr.”

Vanitas squeaked and froze. It was The Shining all over again! He squeezed his eyes shut and waited to die, but instead he felt four arms wrap him up and the most profound feeling of peace came over him. They only held him for a second or two, then started to laugh. He could feel it vibrate through him making him think of a cat’s purr, and he laughed too.

Soon the house was filled with people and Ventus was preparing food, when he began to notice how Axel and Reno moved in sync and finished one others sentences. He was stirring dip and the longer he watched, the slower he stirred. Vanitas strolled by, beer in hand and whispered, "Avert your eyes, it’s a trap."

 

That night at Strife House the atmosphere was very familial and everyone was happy. The alcohol flowed and the bong was passed. Namine didn't show up, much to everyone’s relief. Tidus and Yuna came. Rumors were that they had a falling out about the whole kissing ordeal after leaving the party. She thought it was hot until she heard him call Vanitas’ name in his sleep....but that was JUST a rumor.

Demyx, Reno, and Axel seemed to be the nucleus of the party. Demyx played songs and they sang. They picked songs and took requests. Their set included everything from alternative to blues. Reno’s whiskey soaked, smoky vocals were made for the blues and Axel’s loud, melodic voice was the perfect compliment. Demyx was in heaven. Someone requested Blink 182 so they did a medley beginning with Dumpweed and ending with I Wanna Fuck a Dog. The Ramones’ I Wanna Be Sedated was played and even the people in the yard sang along and then they all did shots to I'm Shipping Up to Boston by Dropkick Murphys. Tidus and Yuna seemed to be having a disagreement again, so Demyx launched into My Friends Over You by New Found Glory. About halfway through, Yuna picked up on it and stormed out…Tidus stayed.

Roxas came downstairs to get some food and the room blew up as people called out “Roxas!” He smiled and waved on his way to the kitchen while Demyx strummed away at the intro to Jane Says by Jane’s Addiction. Axel watched him reappear with food and wink as he jogged back upstairs.

Soon after, they stopped for a break and Demyx stood to stretch. The twins wrapped him up, laughing. Vanitas’ eyes dragged to the spectacle and he thought about how it felt when they hugged him earlier. This time Reno was hugging Demyx from the front and Axel from the back. Vanitas thought it looked very intimate how they held him even though he could see the grins on their faces as they talked. He tried not to stare but he couldn't help himself…again. They were standing inconspicuously off to the side of the room so the party continued around them.

Sora plopped down beside Vanitas and said, "That's beautiful." Vanitas grunted. They watched as the twins hands began to wander over Demyx’s body. He had his right arm hooked around Reno’s waist in front of him and his left was slung back on Axel’s thigh. Vanitas was a little disturbed at the sight. He saw Reno’s hand slide down Demyx’s shoulder as he reached around to Axel's back to hook his thumb into his waistband. Vanitas shifted in his seat. Axel had a hand on Demyx’s neck and the other on Reno’s hip. Vanitas turned away.

Sora giggled, "What's wrong, Vani? You can't look anymore can ya?"

"Shut up Sora."

"You know you like it, Vani."

"Shut UP Sora!”

"You know if they were naked..."

Vanitas stomped away leaving Sora to laugh himself into a case of the hiccups.

  


The week that followed was serene by Strife standards… on the outside looking in, anyways. On his way to class, Sora was mumbling to himself when an arm shot out, dragging him behind the Science building. He squawked and giggled at the familiar scent, then let Riku kiss him, "I was just thinking about you."

Riku grinned, "Really? You were smiling so it must have been something good."

"I was thinking about how much I wanted to fuck you outside, behind the science building in broad daylight." Sora laughed making Riku laugh as well.

"You're insane...but I like that about you." Riku cooed as he kissed Sora's hair and nuzzled his cheek.

"I like a lotta shit about you but I need to get to class." Sora giggled and pretended to struggle for freedom.

Riku released him happily since he needed to get to class as well. "I'll see you later, ok?"

"Ok...and I'll tell you all the shit I like about you...I'll make a list!" Sora yelled over his shoulder as he made a bee line for his building.

Riku strolled toward his class smiling as he thought of how long it had been since someone wanted him for something other than sex or drugs. Right before he entered the English hall, he bumped into someone and mumbled "Excuse me..." just as he raised his eyes to meet angry blues.

"What the fuck are you doing Riku?" Roxas snarled.

"I said excuse me, damn." Riku chirped.

"You know that's not what I'm talking about. Sora?" Roxas was all in his personal space and trying to keep his voice down and Riku took a half step backward.

"I don't see what the problem is Rox...and I need to get to class." Riku said as politely as he could when all he wanted to do was scream at the blonde that he had no right to be saying anything.

"Whatever...I'll see you later tonight." Roxas said as he turned to walk away.

"I have plans later." Riku spouted honestly.

Roxas turned back to face him and by this time the area was empty and they were both already late for class. "With Sora?"

"Yes, with Sora and why do you even care, Roxas?" Riku blurted a little louder than he intended.

"I don't." Roxas said before he thought. "I mean I...I do."

"Whatever Rox...you know, what I wanna know is this: which of us are you jealous over?"

Roxas stood with his mouth open as heat crept up his face. He was mortified at hearing it out loud and in public. _Is it really as fucked up as it sounds?_ _Yes_ , he thought, _yes it is._

Riku walked away and Roxas stood there and watched him go.

Later that evening Sora pecked on Riku's door at Sawyer. "C'min" Riku said from the other side. Sora walked in to find Riku digging through his small refrigerator for drinks. There was take out on the table and Sora smiled. "You got dinner? Thanks."

"Well I kinda wanted you to stay for a while and I knew you'd be hungry..." Riku said as he emerged with a couple cold drinks. "I seriously DO NOT cook so I just guessed at what you might like."

"S' fine." Sora said looking Riku over. He was wearing sweats and a beater...simple..? No. Riku could make sweats and a beater look like porn. Sora wanted to jump him but truly didn't know what to touch first.

Riku watched Sora's eyes travel down his body and then back up to his face. When their eyes met he stepped over and kissed Sora's lips lightly _. I can do this_ he thought. _I can be with someone else without thinking about Roxas if I try_. He kissed Sora again.

Sora's lips lingered on Riku's as he breathed in through his nose. Riku always smelled _sooo_ _goood_ he thought as he nuzzled silver hair. Being this close he could feel Riku's pulse where his thumb rested on his throat and he felt it speed up as his lips neared his ear.

Brushing warm lips across the ear, he felt that he was right about the pulse as it quickened even more. He felt strong hands wander up his sides and down across his back pulling him closer. Feeling his erection now pressed to his stomach Sora moaned and pressed back. Riku grunted at the acceptance and slid his hands down to Sora's ass slowly as if he was deciding if he should or not. Sora reciprocated the movement and kissed Riku at the same time, stealing his breath.

  


The evening began completely backward from how Sora intended it to but it really didn’t matter. He lay in Riku’s bed with his list of _shit he liked about Riku_ and read them off one by one allowing Riku time to laugh and/or comment. His head was on Riku’s chest so when he laughed Sora closed his eyes and listened with no distractions. Once the list was complete they were both laughing and Sora felt _happy_ …

He appeared to feel happy most of the time…but Sora had layers…and his inside layer was very seldom happy. His inside feelings never seemed to matter much because he had his middle and his outside to cover them up. Sora assumed everyone had layers but most didn’t realize it. He wondered which layer of Riku was happy at that moment.

Riku snuggled Sora and whispered, “Are you hungry now?”

“Yes…” Sora whispered back and wondered if Riku knew how much he loved whispering.

They ate and talked some more about school and surfing. He had no idea that Riku was such an avid surfer. “You should come to Costa for some of winter break and surf.” Sora offered.

Riku lowered his eyes and thought of Roxas. “I donno if Mansex will cut me loose in time but it sounds like fun. I’ve been to Costa before but never in the winter. Is it nice?”

“Costa has two temperatures: hot and hotter, so yeah it’s nice.” Sora smiled as he began to clear away their trash.

Riku stopped him from what he was doing and said softly, “You don’t have to…I’ll get that.”

“It’s no big deal. I don’t mind.” Sora said marveling at how happy he could feel just being with someone, doing regular stuff.

“So what do you want to do now? I wanted dinner with you and we did that so now it’s your turn. You name it and we’ll do it.” Riku said enjoying the non-confrontational Strife brother’s company immensely. Then his heart stopped. What if Sora wanted to go…?

“Let’s go out somewhere. It seems like the only place I ever go is down to see Aerith and I know there is more to do in this town than party with the homeless.” Sora said it passively but Riku found it hilarious. Sora just looked at him and smiled as he thought, _I think that’s his inside layer laughing right now._

“That sounds great actually!” Riku said as he began to change his clothes. He was so glad Sora didn’t want to go back to Strife House. He didn’t want to deal with Roxas and he didn’t know how Sora would be in a room with both of them. He thought of the morning after the Halloween party and shivered.

They went to a bar where they danced and had drinks. Riku was at ease and he didn’t think Sora realized how much it mattered to him…or maybe he did. “Dance with me Riiikuuuu!” Sora crowed as he danced by the bar where Riku had stopped to grab more drinks. He laughed as Sora took his drink and knocked it back then put the empty glass back on the bar.

“You’re insane.” Riku laughed as he drank his shot and went to dance.

“I know! I have papers and everything!”

Riku laughed so hard he completely lost his composure.

Back at Sawyer, they showered and fell back into bed. Sora attacked one of Riku’s parts that was on his list…his lips. “I had the best time.” He said after he kissed him.

“So did I. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so much.” Riku said, surprising himself.


	17. SEEING RED

SEEING RED

  


Later in the week at Strife House, Axel came down from Roxas’ room because the blonde had fallen asleep and he needed to work on his study. Walking past the sad junkie on the sofa without speaking, half of his mind said, _stop and speak_ while the other half said, _let it go…he’s not our problem._ Shooting a glance and a quick smile in Riku’s direction, he left.

Riku watched the redhead descend the stairs with confidence. He knew Roxas was his… and it was no surprise to Riku. _He’s beautiful...and smart...and not a junkie. No wonder Roxas wants him...wants to fuck him_. He could see it in the blonde’s body language... _the way he leans into him when they’re near each other, the way he touches him when they’re talking...the way he stares at him._ When his gut burned with jealousy, he drowned it with liquor, when his head ached with guilt, he dusted it with blow, and when his veins burned with unrequited passion, he flushed them with junk.

Looking appreciatively once more at the bright red hair and vivid green eyes, clear skin not marred by scars...tracks, he turned away.

As the door closed, Riku went back to his fidgeting and picking at his wristlets while he waited for Sora to come home. Fifteen minutes that felt like five years passed and he got a text from the silly brunette saying that he would be later than he had initially thought, returning from the homeless shelter…and that he shouldn’t wait. Staring at the text briefly, Riku stood to go. The house was quiet as Ventus was out with Demyx, and Vanitas had just left after stopping for a long pause to stare at him but saying nothing. Riku looked at the stairs…

Stepping inside Roxas’ room quietly, he noted that the blonde was sleeping in only a pair of his old sweats and the room still smelled like Axel…sweet and cinnamonny. Wrinkling his nose, he leaned down and tousled the blonde’s hair gently. “Wake up, baby.”

Roxas’ eyes fluttered open and he looked up into stormy eyes and a solemn visage. “Where is everyone?”

“Out.” Riku stated before seating himself on the bedside and shoving his hands into his hoodie pockets.

“Lock the door.” Roxas said sleepily as he sat up, rubbing his eyes.

Riku did as he was told and returned to drop a balloon onto the bedside table. Roxas looked at the gift and smiled instantly. “You brought me a present.”

“Yeah…so…what’s up with you and Red?” Riku took his gear from his pocket and resumed his perch on the bed while Roxas padded to his bathroom to retrieve his own. Riku scanned the gray room and took in every detail to see if there was evidence of how much time the other had been spending there. There was none.

“It’s not a big thing…besides…you are pursuing this thing with Sora so…” Roxas said upon his return.

“Yeah well…we both know why that is so…”

“Yeah…Riku?”

“Let’s just cook. I won’t fuck with you if that’s what you’re worried about.” Riku snapped. “Just remember…ahh fuck it. You’re gonna do what you want, and I’m not begging.”

Roxas watched him as he began to cook the drugs. Riku was rarely pissed but when he was, Roxas knew because he shut down. He had this wall that he jumped behind when shit got emotional and he was there now. Roxas felt immediately guilty.

"Riku...I... it's not serious with him." He said as he tied Riku's arm for him.

"Does _he_ know that?" Riku smirked.

"Yeah... I mean, yeah." Roxas almost squeaked, making Riku chuckle and then reach up to grab his face and squeeze.

"I've seen how he looks at you and I _hate_ it. He's in love with you." He snarled.

Roxas jerked away from his grip and mumbled. "No, he isn't...he just...just." puffing out a breath, he sighed, "I'm a whore, Riku…"

"Not to me." Riku whispered, and grabbed both his shoulders, kissing him. Roxas returned the kiss hungrily and buried both hands in silver locks. Riku would always accept him...they were slaves to the same master.

Riku pressed him back onto the bed and popped the tie off his arm before reaching for his sweats. The blonde writhed under him as he pulled at the zipper on the old worn hoodie.

"You still want me?" Riku growled.

"Yes."

"Even after your boyfriend was here?"

"Yes."

"Why...he not good to you?" Riku hissed as he sucked at the blonde’s throat and ground their hips together.

"He's not _you_." Roxas whined shoving Riku's jeans down below his ass.

"Tell me you're mine, Roxas." Riku said and then bit into his shoulder.

Roxas cried out and then panted into his ear. "Yours..."

Riku had heard it before...many times over since he met the blonde, and never once had it been true. There were others...Sora, Zexion, random fucks, now the redhead...but he kept coming back. It seemed that nothing Roxas did sullied the image he held of him, no amount of people he gave himself to made Riku want him less. Not want...need.

His attempt at a relationship with Sora had begun as punishment to the blonde but had become an infected ingrown hair in Riku's conscience. Every time he was with Sora, he thought of telling him about Roxas...but he didn't. _Sora is crazy, but he doesn’t deserve being lied to like this…intimately and blatantly._ Always afraid of upsetting the delicate balance that he needed to maintain his so-called relationship with the blonde, he kept it all to himself- even his true feelings for Roxas- not that telling him would make a difference.

Roxas struggled under him wanting more...more abuse, more attention, more everything, while Riku struggled over him with his guilt and self-loathing.

Finally giving in and letting go, Riku did what he always did...he growled instead of speaking his heart, he bit and bruised instead of caressing, and he cursed himself for returning to the fickle blonde yet again.

  
On the floor by the bed tangled in the sheets, Roxas sat astride Riku's hips, refusing to relinquish their bond. Riku stared up at him, still a bit breathless but enjoying being held captive. Stroking the blonde's thighs, he smiled ever so slightly. "Rox..."

"Hmm?" Roxas looked down at him and covered his wandering hands with his own.

_I love you, I need you, I want you to be only mine_...all of these things were on the tip of his tongue but what came out was, "Never mind."

Roxas giggled. "Still wanna hit?"

"Sure." Riku began to sit up but Roxas protested.

"Stop! I wanna do it like this."

Riku smirked. He rarely gave himself credit for anything but apparently...he was a pretty good fuck. "Ok...lemme see what I can reach from here."

The more he stretched and wiggled to reach the gear and the drugs, the more aroused he became which elicited moans from the squirming blonde.

 "Fuck Roxas..."

Smiling at him he raised himself up just enough to allow the remnants of their previous act to run down the length of him before sliding back down into place.

"Move Rox...don't just." Riku began and reached for his hips.

Roxas cocked his head and smiled, then clinched.

"Uh uuuugh Goddammit." Riku bucked under him. "Quit it a sec."

One of the first things Riku learned about Roxas was that whatever you told him to do, he would likely do the opposite...and this was no exception. "Uh uh! Goddammit how am I sposed ta...oh holy fuck." Riku dropped the loaded needle and grabbed Roxas’ hips again.

"No..." Roxas pushed his hands but he wouldn't release him. "I wanna hit while you fuck me."

Riku blew out a frustrated breath as he nodded. Tying off his arm, he watched the blue vein spike enough for him to inject. Roxas squirmed. "Do it." Stilling his movements, he waited for the rush...the prick and the push and then the soft tap of the syringe hitting the floor...followed by a frenzy of heated groping. He felt himself leaning forward, eyes fluttering, completely useless in the act.

Riku watched him as he pressed the plunger and then dropped the needle. Roxas was an angel without wings, a beautiful god allowed on earth...perfect...and a direct contrast to his own broken, useless, sinful self. Grabbing his hips as his eyes began to close he listened to the moans and mumbles that escaped pink lips. He seemed to be slowly falling forward so Riku pulled him down on top of him, then rolled him to his back. Shoving his knees up, he did all he could to give the blonde the experience he wanted.

  
Lying on the floor staring at the ceiling, Roxas realized that his right arm and leg were underneath his bed, he was leaking on his carpet, and Riku was...where was Riku? Scanning the room, he found him back in his jeans, rubber tubing between his teeth, and a needle in his vein. He was beautiful and he was dying and no one seemed to notice or care. Blinking slowly, Roxas tried to call his name but all that came out was a croak. Riku pulled the needle from his arm and looked his way smiling. "Hey baby."

"C'mere." Roxas mumbled.

Riku crawled to him and in the drug haze and Roxas thought he looked like a big predatory cat. "Roxaaasss...you should get on the bed, baby."

"Mmkay...help me." Roxas rolled over and got to his knees.

Riku crawled through the mess they had left on the carpet and lifted the blonde by his armpits to deposit him onto the bed. "There ya go."

"Riku...c'mere." Roxas reached for him just as he had once before...but that time he had been with Sora. Riku rubbed his face and stood by the bed. "What?"

"Take em off n come here." Roxas was pulling lazily at the button on his jeans in a way that made him smile.

"Don't you ever get enough?" Riku threaded his fingers through blonde hair. "Look you're bleeding already."

"Just..." Roxas finally got the button loose and grinned at his accomplishment. "Lemme make you feel good."

"I _do_ feel good baby." Riku said right before Roxas propped up on his elbow and swallowed him down. "Oh god...I can't stand up...for this, Rox."

Having stated his weakness, Riku moved slowly onto the bed on his knees while gripping the headboard. With a knee on either side of the blonde, he watched him until he could no longer focus and finished without warning with his forehead pressed to his forearms.

  
Sitting in the wingback chair in the corner, Riku stared at the sleeping form on the bare mattress. He wanted to stay there forever and just enjoy being in his presence...but he couldn't. Roxas didn't want anyone to know about them... he was ashamed.

Standing to go, Riku went through his normal precautions of listening at the door for activity in the house...then decided to exit through the window.

  


Legs too weak to walk back, he skated, the knees of his jeans still wet from crawling through come streaked with blood. At Sawyer he ran into Zexion who smiled. "You reek of Strife."

Riku offered a goofy smile. "You are correct."

"Why are you still fucking with him?" Zexion asked. "You know he's fucking that nut-job redhead."

Riku's eyes turned dark. "For now."

"Oh no... Please tell me you’re not serious about that _slut_."

"Shut up...you don't know him like that."

"Don't I?" Zexion scoffed. "I knew him before you did, Riku. He was blowing me for brown to smoke while you were still banging Amber back at Radiant."

"Shut up."

"No man. I won't stop telling you the _fuckin truth_. You’re better than that punk ass tweaker!"

"I said shut the fuck up." Riku growled.

"Whatever man...I'm just trying to give you a fuckin reality check, dude. Go ahead and fuck up if you want." Zexion chuckled.

"Why would I be fuckin up, Zex?" Riku snapped.

"Because he's _never_ gonna be faithful, Riku. He's a junkie whore."

"Fuck you."

"Fuck you!" Zexion bellowed.

Riku cocked a brow and swung his skateboard at about half strength in a beautiful arc and slapped the other dealer across the face.

"Aah! You crazy fucking bastard!!" Zexion staggered, holding his head.

"That's what they say." Riku smiled as he lit a cigarette and went up to his room.

  


The following weekend was a complete blow out. The cops came twice but left empty-handed as the Dean had to hold up his end of their deal for agreeing to volunteer for the study. Strife House was lit and everyone was wasted early and bodies were dropping everywhere.

Sometime after midnight Riku walked in. "You're late!" Sora grinned. "I missed you!"

Riku nodded. "Had a thing with my dad. Can we go upstairs?"

Sora looked worried "Sure is everything ok?"

"Yeah, I just need, um ..." Riku's voice cracked and he fell silent. 

Sora grabbed his hand and headed for the stairs, ignoring everyone, even Roxas’ shocked glare. Inside his room Sora closed the door and locked it, then turned to Riku and kissed him passionately. He felt the tears on Riku's cheeks as he continued to kiss him and hold him tightly. Sora pulled back, breathless. "What's wrong, Riku? Why are you upset? What did he do to you?" He was holding Riku's face in his hands, near tears himself but at a complete loss of how to comfort him.

"I don't wanna talk about it" he scratched out "Not now". Riku moved his hands to Sora's hips "Ok?"

Sora nodded and Riku turned them and pressed Sora against the wall as he ravaged his mouth. Sora held onto him and pulled at his clothes… he needed to touch more of his skin.

"Sora... wait." Riku whispered as he started to back off but Sora began an assault on his neck and hissed, “No…”

Riku was tormented as he thought _This isn't why I came here goddammit. I shouldn’t fuck him anymore… Roxas is… Fuckin Strife... fuck it… just give him what he wants too._

He pushed Sora's jeans and boxers down his thighs and Sora could feel Riku's already bare erection against his stomach. He moaned and twisted until Riku allowed him to turn facing the wall. Grabbing Sora's ass with both hands, he groaned "Goddamn". He slid his cock between his cheeks and then his hands left him briefly as Sora felt him lean over reaching for something. Suddenly Riku’s hands were back slick and wet, probing and stretching. He reached for Sora's erection and stroked him as he arched and pushed back against his fingers.

“God c’mon,” Sora whined. Riku growled and grabbed his slim hips. There would be marks there but he didn’t care. Sora braced his hands again the wall and tried to make his body relax as Riku took him. The sex was rough and fast, Sora was panting and Riku was sweating. When he thought it would be over too fast, Riku pulled out and turned him around, jerking his pants roughly to his feet. Sora stomped out of them, hopped up into Riku's waiting arms, and wrapped his legs around him.

He cried out as Riku pounded him against the wall. "Riku! Fuuck!"

Riku stroked him only a few times before he exploded, moaning and clawing at his back. Feeling Sora's tight wet heat squeezing him was more than he could take and he moaned as he held him tightly, grinding through his own orgasm.

"Goddamn. Goddamn." Riku panted, “Gotta sit.” He baby-stepped over to the bed, still holding Sora, as his jeans slid down to his knees. Sitting on the bed, he kissed him slowly, almost sweetly. "Sora, I have to go home to the Island tomorrow."

Sora stared at him waiting for more. "Why?"

Riku smiled, fresh tears in his eyes not falling. "I just have to go… and I wanted to tell you, um..."

Sora's heart shattered as he watched Riku struggle with his emotions in the dimly lit room. _How could anyone ever hurt such a beautiful boy_ , Sora wondered as he pushed his hair behind his ear. Riku kissed him again and then helped him off his lap to get dressed. He was obviously done talking, if that’s what this passed for. Turning on the bedside lamp as Riku was buttoning his jeans, the silence was unbearable.

Sora asked quietly, “Riku, what happened with your dad?”

Riku ran a hand through his hair and mumbled, “S’not important. Take care of yourself, Sora… and don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you’re less than amazing.”

The brunette opened his mouth to speak but closed it back when Riku reached out to touch his cheek, and then turned and left.


	18. UGLY TRUTHS

UGLY TRUTHS

  


Riku was lazily skating the cemetery, streaming a trail of smoke in his wake. He was still trying to get his head around everything when another skater breezed past him and he looked up. "Rox?"

"Riku." Roxas deadpanned.

"S’up?" Riku spun to skate alongside him.

"Had a skate jones. House is loud."

"House is." Riku agreed.

“Especially Sora’s room.” He snapped and Riku smirked bitterly, shaking his head. "You’ve heard the last of it… I’m leaving tomorrow. Going home."

"Tell Sor?"

"Yeah"

"Comin back?"

"Prolly not." Riku said as he changed direction abruptly, exiting the cemetery, and continuing down the street toward campus.

Roxas sped after him, "Riku wait!" He chased him across campus until he ran out of pavement. 

  


Inside the house Reno was sitting on the floor back to back with Demyx and they were singing the blues. "The thrill is gone baby...the thrill is gone away...you know you done me wrong baby…and you’ll be sorry someday…" Reno sang. He had returned for the party, much to his twin’s delight, as well as to see if Roxas had cleaned up like he had been advised… he had not… and Cloud was still AWOL.

The atmosphere at Strife House was heavy and it seemed the universe had shifted. Ventus was all over a girl named Aqua and Demyx was taking it remarkably well. Axel had his head on Reno’s lap letting him thread his fingers through his spikey pigtails. Xion came in straight from work, this time dressed in a short skirt and a sweater, and announced "I need a bump."

Axel lifted his hand and she walked over. He tapped his pocket so she squatted down and helped herself to his drugs; digging them out of his pocket and copping a feel as Reno and Axel turned their heads to try and see up her skirt. She smiled and said, “Down boys.”

They grinned and at her and she laughed and flicked one of Axel’s pigtails. “Cute.”

Axel reached up to cup Reno’s face. “Thank my hairdresser. He’s a genius.”

Demyx stopped playing and turned the ipod back on, then left them to get a drink. Xion sat down with them as Vanitas stumbled through, lighting a joint and mumbling about being cursed and evil redheads. The twins grinned and watched him go.

“So,” Reno said “How was work?”

Xion smiled at them. “The usual bunch of lechers gawking and drooling. No marriage proposals tonight, sadly.” The twins laughed and Reno rested his hand on Axel’s throat.

“What’s the story with you two?” she asked as she decided not to powder her nose. “You seem so in tune with each other, how do you handle time apart? Is it hard?”

Axel looked like the Cheshire cat as he giggled. “Baby it’s always hard.”

“Soo hard.” Reno added as they collapsed into fits of giggles.

Xion rolled her eyes. “You guys are a mess.” She started to crawl away from them to fetch more pillows and they sprang to their knees and chased after her, growling playfully. Xion squealed and crawled faster but Reno caught her ankle and Axel tossed her into the pillow pile as they crashed on either side of her, wrapping their arms and legs around her tiny frame while she shrieked and laughed. When she began to quiet, they started singing Dún do Shúil softly, and she yawned. She played with their hair as they sang the lullaby and Axel and Reno twined their wrists and fingers over her heart…and soon all three were sleeping, the noisy party forgotten.

  


Roxas saw Riku pop his board and catch it before he stalked off toward the quarry. He had tried to ditch Roxas but he followed, no longer calling out his name. He found Riku sitting on an outcropping on the edge of the quarry, head on his knees.

As Roxas approached, Riku grumbled, "Whatcha want Rox?"

He stood beside the seated dealer. "Why are you leaving?"

"I have to." Riku said solemnly.

"Why?" Roxas pressed him for an explanation.

Riku raised his head and snapped, "Why do you CARE, Roxas?"

Roxas returned his glare briefly and then looked out over the dark water. "I saw your scars."

Riku jumped to his feet and stalked away toward the practice field. Roxas followed. Riku could hear the swish of his shoes on the dew dampened grass and he could hear Roxas' steps as well. He spun to face him. "What do you _want_ from me, Roxas?"

"I want you to stop running away and tell me what's going on." Roxas scolded.

Riku stood silently as Roxas approached, their breath making small puffs in the cool night air. "Just tell me. If you don't want me to tell anyone, I won't."

He reminded himself that Roxas Strife was the king of secret-keeping but he really just wanted to be left alone… so he said nothing.

"Where's Sora? Is there something up with you and Sora?" Roxas ventured a guess as he searched the aqua eyes before him.

"Sora was in his room when I left him.” Riku turned away and started toward the practice field again. “This has nothing to do with Sora."

Roxas grabbed his arm and spun him around. "Stop, goddammit! Look I don't want you to leave!" Roxas' voice echoed slightly in the still autumn air. "You're the only motherfucker here who gets me, Riku! I've got three brothers who love me so much they would watch me kill my fuckin self because it's what I _want_ to do!! But you're straight with me. You know me for what I am." Roxas let go of Riku's arm, dropped his board and sat on it. "Now c'mon sit…like we used to when you first came here. Tell me what this shit's about."

 

Riku dropped his board in front of Roxas and looked up into the sky, searching for a sign from an absentee God. They had stopped underneath a huge old oak that was still covered with rapidly dying leaves and he wished for a second that he was already back on Destiny. He took a deep breath and sighed, then looked down at Roxas who was looking up at him waiting with wide eyes… looking too innocent and exactly like he had when Riku first helped him mainline.

"Godfuckingdamn," he sat on his board facing Roxas, their knees bumping, then he reached into his hoodie pocket and pulled out his works.

Roxas was stunned, "What the fuck man?!"

Riku looked up at him with a sinister smile and started to cook right there. Roxas' heart was pounding, his mouth was watering, and he could feel the tingling in his arms and legs. _Why would he do this outside? Did he want to get caught? Was this some kind of rebellion against Xemnas?_ His breath was short and his hands were shaking as he watched Riku load up. "L-lemme..." Roxas stammered.

He held the syringe between his teeth as he unzipped his hoodie, took it off but put the hood on so that it hung down his back. His bare chest rippled with chills and Roxas shivered with need as he watched him tie off. He could feel the phantom prick.

Riku looked up at him for a few seconds, but said nothing, and that’s when Roxas noticed the tears on his cheeks. Panicking, he reached to take the syringe from his teeth but Riku jerked his head slightly and grunted as he poked patiently at his veins.

Roxas eyed the needle to try and guess if he had loaded to OD, and put a hand on his knee and the other on his bare shoulder. "L-let me. Let me fix you. Like you did me back then."

Riku looked into those eyes and remembered… it seemed like ten lifetimes ago.

Giving a nod, he allowed Roxas to take the syringe. He rubbed Riku's arm noting that his old track marks were all gone, then he stuck the needle in his vein and pulled the plunger slightly, and then pushed. Riku popped the tie and looked up at Roxas as the blonde thought about the first time he watched Riku fix…he was achingly beautiful in his misery. He had fallen in love that day.

Riku's eyelids fluttered as he leaned forward and Roxas grabbed him with both hands as silver hair hit his shoulder. He could hear his breath coming in short pants and Riku’s hands gripped his jacket. The blonde put his arms around his fellow junkie and rubbed his back that felt clammy as he sweated in the cool night air.

As he held him he wondered what could have happened to trigger such misery, when felt Riku's hands loosen from his jacket and drop to his thighs limply. With all his weight on Roxas' shoulder, his body went slack. "Riku" Roxas pushed him back to look at his face. His eyes were cracked open, his lips parted, but his breathing was funny. He was going to kill himself speedballing, _goddammit_ Roxas thought. _Is he trying to fucking die?_ Then it hit him _: he doesn't care_. Roxas shook him, "Riku, c'mon. Hey! Riku."

Riku's eyes rolled to focus on Roxas and boom, there it was, that beautiful smile, long silver hair reflecting the moonlight, and those rarely seen dimples. “Why did I ever give this up…ohmygod,” Riku said quietly.

"You scared me, man," Roxas said trying to sound angry but it came out sounding like a bitch.

Riku laughed and sat up slowly. His hoodie had fallen off when he fell forward but he didn't seem to notice the cold. Roxas went about trying to pull it up to cover his shoulders but Riku shrugged it off and giggled. "Quit it."

Roxas glared. "Ok but you gotta talk now."

Riku scowled and folded his arms across his stomach looking more like himself. "T'day… well yesterday was my birthday. I'm 21."

Roxas sputtered, "How did I not know that?"

Riku smiled again, "Me and you had more important shit to do than discuss birthdays." He touched Roxas' face and stroked his cheek with his thumb.

Roxas smirked, "Yeah we did. DID Riku. Didn't you just leave my brother?"

"Yep" Riku sighed, looking serious again. "He can do better. So, I said goodbye.”

"Spill it Riku," Roxas was waiting. “Why are you going back to Destiny Island?”

"I went to dinner with my parents for my birthday and they told me basically that they were cutting me loose… I hafta go home and pack up. They told me that my biological father was loaded and now that I'm 21, it’s all mine… so there is no more need for their support… _financial support_.” He added in Xemnas’ voice.

“They gave me a stack of paperwork and the number of a lawyer…my birth records and shit. I looked through some of it, enough to see that I'm loaded but as a human being, I'm nothing but a liability. I'm no good. But then I kinda knew that all along."

Roxas stared. He was at a loss for what to say. He knew Riku had suicidal tendencies and he was in a bad state of mind. That was bad combination; especially bad considering he had plenty of drugs at his disposal.

Riku continued, "They told me that people will find out who I am eventually…because of public records and what-not, and they don't want the media blowback. Said it would look better if I’m out on my own. Whatever I do from this point is up to me; where I live, whether or not I finish college, whether or not I do thiiiiissss." He slapped his arm. "They even mentioned that they know I've been fucking _‘that crazy Strife boy'_." At that point Riku laughed and lay back on the cold grass. "I don't want this to reflect badly on Sora. He's got the best heart of anybody I've ever met."

Roxas nodded, feeling inadequate.

"If I had known I was this fucked, I would've never started talking to him. I mean, we're not official but I care for him you know."

Roxas nodded again, and felt sick to his stomach. He had wanted Riku more than anything… and by keeping him hidden, had lost him heart and soul to the one person he wanted to keep him hidden from. _Had Riku ever cared for him at all?_

"So now that I’m gonna be a fucking celebrity and shit, I guess it’s for the best if I just drop out of this" he waved his arm around "all this."

Roxas moved to lie beside Riku and propped on his elbow, looking down at his face. "So who are your biological parents? I mean why is it so bad?"

Riku stared at Roxas for a moment. "You ever read about that incident about twenty years ago where that general went batshit crazy and burned the entire town of Nibelheim? Killed all those people and then was killed by one of his own troops?"

Roxas nodded. Of course he knew that story, his grandparents died there. But he wasn't going to add to Riku's guilt.

"That was myyy pop!" Riku said.

"Wow" was all Roxas could muster.

"They told me that his psychosis could be hereditary and they hope I find myself a good shrink before it’s _too late_." He laughed and Roxas saw a tear slide down into his hair that was fanned out in the ground. "They said it explained a lot of my _past behavior_ ," he held up his wrists "and they _deeply regretted adopting me._ " Riku snorted.

"What about your biological mom?" Roxas asked as he petted Riku's hair.

"They told me that she was institutionalized after my father died and I was born there, but they didn't tell me anything else. On the birth certificate they are listed as Aerith Gainsborough and Sephiroth."

Roxas gave pause at the names. _Sephiroth. Aerith_. Wheels started turning but he kept quiet about it. Instead he had another question. "How is your last name Valentine, then?"

Riku squeezed his eyes shut for a second and then chuckled. "Best part! They didn't want me to carry their last name, just in case I was a fuck-up yanno? Good call, by the way. And since signing the adoption papers was Xemnas' gift to Mom for Valentine’s Day- _Riku_ , the name mom chose…I guess unless that was a lie too, and _Valentine_ so I wouldn’t sully the Xemnas name."

Riku stared silently for a moment. "They did say they didn't consider themselves to be parental failures. I was faulty, not them."

"No" Roxas whispered "You're not. You're beautiful."

Riku pulled him down and kissed him deeply. Roxas fisted his hand in silver hair as he felt Riku start to tug his shirt up. "Not here." He hissed.

Riku nodded and got up and they made their way to his dorm, went inside and locked the door.


	19. LOVE

LOVE

  


Riku turned on the bedside lamp and started to undress Roxas as his mind went back to all the times before, when they would meet in secret. They didn’t speak in public much, if at all. That seemed to be the way it was going to stay until Riku started talking to Sora and much to Riku’s surprise, Roxas tried to push them together… but then why wouldn’t he? He had Axel.

Riku worshipped Roxas. He had since the first night he kissed him, which incidentally was also the first night he fucked him. Roxas was this smart, beautiful, sad angel who had asked him for a favor. He would’ve given him anything but all he asked for was junk…then it was junk and sex. He knew that he belonged to the redhead, and he wasn’t trying to fuck that up… but he was glad to get what he got.

Riku rolled onto his back and pulled Roxas on top of him. Usually sex with Roxas was tense and hurried but this time he wanted it to be different. This would be the last time. He was leaving and probably wouldn’t be back. That old shadow whispered across his mind – _going home to die_.

He squeezed Roxas to him and breathed in the scent of him, then rolled his hips and Roxas spread his legs and sat up on top of him, sliding his hands up Riku’s chest and looking adoringly at his smile. _Those goddamn dimples that no one ever sees_. _Why does he hide this? What’s he afraid of?_ He slid his hands down Riku’s arms to his hands and wove their fingers together but then released them quickly. 

An emotion flitted across Riku’s face that Roxas didn’t remember seeing there before and Riku sat up and began kissing him. There was desperation in the kiss and was so different, Roxas thought as he pushed him back onto the bed and crawled down his body. Riku reached for him but it was useless; Roxas wanted what he wanted. He whispered, “Rox, you don’t have to…”

Roxas was going to take his time this time- he was going to show Riku how he felt because he couldn’t tell him. He kissed his hips and his abs then looked up to see Riku watching him and smiled, but Riku’s eyes flashed with that painful sadness.

 "Roxas" he breathed, stopping him. "Roxas wait... that's not what ...I mean I... come here.”

Roxas was completely clueless as to what he had done or was doing that Riku didn't want. He blushed and crawled back up to face him, not knowing if he still wanted him or not.

 

Riku scooted back on the bed and pulled a pillow up behind his back. "Come here" he patted his naked thighs. Roxas crawled to him with his eyes down, thinking _What does he want? What did I do?_ as he straddled his lap obediently and waited.

"Roxas I want you to know something ok...before I leave..."

_No no no_ Roxas thought as his heart started to pound. Riku kissed him but instead of reaching for his ass or anything else, he took his hands. Roxas squeezed his fingers and kissed him back.

"Rox I..." Riku continued to hold his hands and looked completely helpless as his aqua eyes filled with tears again.

"Just say it, Riku. After all you've told me already...what could be so hard?"

Riku blinked back tears and then shut his eyes. "Rox, remember when we were first...remember the first time you talked to me?" Roxas’ heart was sinking and he nodded.

"Remember how we hid it from everyone?" Again Roxas nodded, this time dropping his eyes because that had been his decision ultimately.

Riku used their clasped hands to raise his chin back up "Look at me, beautiful."

Roxas was stunned and tears sprang to his eyes as he looked at Riku. "W-why ..." Roxas couldn't finish his question. A tear fell from his eye and Riku immediately kissed it away.

"Don't cry... You ARE beautiful. And I should've told you _every day_ , from the day I first saw you."

Roxas kissed Riku's fingers and looked into his eyes. _This is your last chance, dumbass._ "I should've never asked you to hide us from everyone."

Riku shook his head, "I don't blame you Rox. I wanted to be with you so bad though." Smiling through his tears, he whispered. "Always, Roxas…there was just you. All the parties I came to. All the classes I skipped to meet you. All the nights I stood outside your window." He laughed as a tear dropped off his lashes. "Every time we were together, I wanted you to stay…every time." Riku cried and hugged Roxas to his chest.

Roxas kissed his tears and kissed his lips, then kissed his nose and Riku laughed softly. The blonde leveled a gaze at him and said quietly, "You’re perfect Riku, and I never deserved you."

 

Of all the things he expected to come out of Roxas' mouth, that wasn't one of them. He started shaking his head in denial of the words he had heard. "Noooo, Roxas I’m just a fuckin junkie… and I'm no good. I'm not worth your time, never have been. I _took advantage_ …"

"You are _everything,_ Riku," Roxas whispered and kissed him again and this time Riku released his hands and wrapped his arms around him, crushing them together. He kissed him until his tears subsided and threaded his hands through his silky hair as Riku pulled him up so that he could kiss his neck and shoulders.

His breath was hot on his throat as he moaned out Roxas' name making him feel like he was exactly where he was supposed to be at that moment in time, regardless of other people, other commitments.

Feeling emboldened at their confessions to one another, he pulled Riku's hand around to his ass and arched, showing him what he wanted. Riku almost purred as he slipped a finger inside him and quickly added a second. Roxas whined and bit into Riku's neck but this time Riku didn't make him stop. Instead he added a third finger and as Roxas arched and pushed back crying out, Riku attacked his neck sucking and biting, making Roxas moan and writhe on his fingers. "Riku please ..."

"Tell me what you want baby." Riku’s lips brushed his ear before they found his again.

Roxas had never felt this kind of passion with Riku before, and it only made him want more "Make love to me..."

Riku kissed his swollen lips and laid him down gently on his side, then lay down facing him and pulled a leg across his hip. He caressed his face and neck and trailed his hand down his chest and abs to take his leaking cock. He stroked as Roxas used his leg to pull Riku closer, forcing contact between them. Riku tugged his leg higher and pressed inside as Roxas shivered.

Grasping his hip he held the blonde still, waiting for him to relax, then he listened as he gasped and moaned each time Riku rolled his hips…over and over until nothing existed for them except each other. Roxas gave himself completely and held him close, he had never felt so loved and adored.

Rolling him to his back, he nuzzled a damp cheek. "Open your eyes Roxas."

Roxas opened them, tears streaming as Riku continued to make love to him. He held tightly to his shoulders as he wrapped his legs tighter around his waist and Riku shuddered as he kept his maddening rhythm.

He began to quicken his pace and his thrusts became harder. "Roxaass" he groaned. "Roxas I love you… I’ve loved you for so long."

Roxas pulled him into another fierce kiss as he came and Riku’s thrusts became almost brutal as he came deep inside. The blonde kissed his forehead and his eyes, stroking his hair pleading "I love you Riku. I love you… Please don't leave. Don't leave me."

He sobbed and clung to Riku who tried to soothe him without words. He didn't whisper lies or try to give him false hope, he simply held him and tried to comfort him and said three words that changed everything. "Come with me."

  


The two were completely relaxed as they lay in bed. Riku was stroking Roxas’ back as he lay across him with his cheek on his chest. He was hypnotized by the feeling of Riku's hand softly trailing from his hair to his ass.

Soon he began to doze off and dream…

_He dreamed of Riku standing in the surf. He looked relaxed and happy as he turned toward him and called out "Roxas! Come with me! Don't be scared! I'll take care of you!"_

_Then he reached out and Roxas began to advance forward until he noticed Riku was bleeding. The cuts looked like scratches, fine clean lateral lines on both wrists, until the blood started to flow and Roxas panicked. He was going to bleed out and he didn't even seem to notice._

_"Roxas!" Dream Riku called out again and then everything faded to a poisonous green and he felt cold. The beach and Riku were gone. All around him was green._

_He was freezing as a stranger’s voice whispered to him "Wake up Strife, you're having a nightmare..." He thought he saw a figure moving in the green that was more like liquid than mist or fog. He strained his eyes to see but his dream was fading as he started to wake._

Riku was sleeping soundly as Roxas lay thinking about the dream and all the things they had talked about that night. It was still dark out so he made no move to get up or disturb Riku. He puzzled over Riku's sad history and his real parents. Those names .... _Aerith... isn't that the name of the hobo lady that Sora goes to see?_ _And Sephiroth_ …he remembered that name from news reports probably. Nearly every time Nibelheim was in the news they mentioned the name of the general who decimated it years ago.

He began to play with Riku's hair and thought about the shit storm that would ensue when he told his brothers he was taking off, but he could take a week and not have a problem catching up when he got back.

Riku stirred. He felt Roxas’ hands in his hair so he put his hand on his back to feel him breathing. Roxas' muscles tensed a bit at the contact and feeling the muscle movement brought Riku fully awake. Suddenly and without warning he flipped Roxas off him and was on top of him.

Roxas' eyes were huge and he was holding his breath. Riku's eyes were shiny as he stared down at the blonde. His pupils were pin-holed but his half lidded gaze made them look elongated ...almost like cat’s eyes. Fear swirled through Roxas as Riku began to kiss him hungrily but it all melted away when he felt Riku's hands on him.

Riku growled softly as he flipped Roxas into his stomach and snatched his hips up off the bed. Roxas panted, ass in the air as he felt the bed move with Riku searching for the small tube of oil somewhere in the sheets. Roxas found it and handed it to him over his shoulder, and Riku grabbed it and quickly prepared him. He reached back and spread himself for him and shivered when the fingers left him, and then screamed when they were replaced by Riku's tongue. Roxas clawed at the sheets while Riku held his hips still and pressed his tongue in as far as he could. Roxas reached under to touch himself but Riku swatted his hand away and rose to his knees.

He entered Roxas roughly making him yelp, and smacked his ass as he started to move. Roxas whimpered as Riku pounded into him. He could hear Riku moaning behind him. "Rox goddamn you're so tight." Riku groaned out. "You feel so good."

Suddenly he felt Riku's chest against his back and began to stroke him. Roxas moaned "Rikuuu... aaaahh!" Everything went white as he came and felt Riku pulsing inside him.

Riku collapsed onto the bed and rolled to his side to face him, smiling. "You're messy." He said as he slapped his hand, still covered with 'Roxas' onto his stomach.

Roxas laughed "Well I am now. Ass."

 

After a moment of blissful recovery Riku said, "I need to pack, baby." He got off the bed, slapped Roxas’ ass and went to shower. Roxas wondered if his offer still stood or if it was just something he said, overcome by emotion ...and drugs. He stood and stretched and went to join him.

In the shower they chatted about Destiny Island while they bathed each other, relaxing into the new dynamic of being openly in love.

Riku paused his scrubbing of Roxas' toes that was making him giggle and looked up at him. "I know you have school and your brothers, but I was serious last night. You can come with. Stay for a week, stay forever." He finished the wiggling toes and stood to rinse and shut off the water.

Roxas thought about what he would say to his brothers when he got home. He looked at his neck and shoulders in the mirror and wondered what he would say to Sora. "I'll grab a few things and meet you back here?" Roxas asked as they dressed.

Riku grabbed him in a tight embrace and there were the dimples again. "Yes!"


	20. OUT

OUT

  


Reno woke up with something tickling his face. He figured it was Cloud's crazy hair so he puffed in the general direction of the offending object. Soon after he dozed back off it tickled again. He puffed harder. It tickled again immediately. He peeped to see _whatthefuck_ was tickling his face and saw dark blonde hair. He snorted. "Cloud, tame your chocobo, yo..."

Instead of Cloud’s grumbling he heard nothing. Sleeping again, he got tickled again. He groaned "Cloud, baby your hair yo..." He heard a gasp and opened his eyes to see huge blue eyes staring. “Mornin baby" He leaned over and kissed the sweet face. "Ya make coffee yet?" Reno rubbed his face and yawned. "My backs killin me yo, feel like I slept on the damn ..." he stopped talking as his eyes focused. "Fuck my liiiiife," Reno mumbled as he looked into the eyes of a dumbfounded Ventus.

Sometime in the night he had joined the pile on the pillows along with Sora, Demyx and Vanitas. It was Axel's idea to tickle Reno’s face to wake him and now he was staring at him, mouth open with crooked pigtails.

"You called me Cloud" Ventus hissed, in shock. "You kissed me and called me Cloud! Twice!"

Axel turned his stare to Ventus, pigtails flopPing.

Reno sat up and launched his explanation, "Look, I musta been dreamin about clouds, yo.” He got up and straightened his clothes. “Hehe. Well who wants coffee?"

Ventus stared as Reno walked to the kitchen, effectively removing himself from scrutiny. Ventus then turned to Axel. "He kissed me and called me Cloud."

Axel nodded, his crooked pigtails flopping gently, and then scrambled to the kitchen to grill Reno.

 

As soon as he slid through the doorway Reno said "Not now, Runt."

"But" Axel began.

"I said not now, Runt." Reno turned with his coffee and stepped out onto the deck.

Axel stepped out beside him. "Now?" He asked and Reno laughed quietly. "I gotta leave today. I'll explain everything, just not now and not around your friends yo."

Axel looked lost and the pigtails were breaking Reno’s heart. "K… Can't ya stay one more day?"

Reno winced but decided to let it slide. "I wish I could but I got work yo."

Axel hugged him and the rest of their conversation was whispered cheek to cheek.

Axel: I miss you when you're not here

Reno: I miss you too

He nuzzled Reno’s face and Reno reciprocated.

Reno: Imma grab my stuff and go yo

Axel: K

Reno: Goddammit Runt

Axel _licks Reno’s face_

Reno chases Axel back into the house and tackles him.

Xion woke up to Reno and Axel wrestling on the floor and Sora sniffing her hair. "Soraaa, I love you but that's creepy." Sora smiled and turned over to sniff Demyx. Demyx smiled and patted his head. Everyone was coming alive and going their separate ways. It was Sunday at Strife House.

 

 

The three brothers were talking over coffee and cereal after the stragglers had gone when they heard the familiar scrape of Roxas’ skateboard. They continued their discussion of the odds that Reno was talking about their dad when he said ‘Cloud’. They heard the front door, then Roxas trotting upstairs. They paused.

“Did he stay somewhere else last night?” Sora mumbled around his cereal.

“I thought he was here all night.” Vanitas said.

“I assumed he was here. I saw him come get food once.” Added Ventus.

A few minutes later Roxas walked into the kitchen looking very somber. His brothers looked at him concerned. “What’s up Rox?” Ventus and Vanitas asked. Sora was looking at him but didn’t speak. Roxas sat down on a bar stool and put his hands on his lap. “I need to talk to you guys.”

They all looked at him and waited, except Sora. Sora looked at the counter.

“I’m taking off for a few days.” Roxas blurted, knowing there would be questions but hoping they were few and simple.

“Where are you going?” Ventus asked out of simple curiosity but Vanitas was watching Sora and wondering why he wasn’t freaking out.

“This would be a whole lot easier if I could tell you guys later.” Roxas stalled.

That’s when Ventus noticed the marks on his throat. His eyes grew wide and he elbowed Vanitas who saw them as well.

“Are you eloping or some shit?” Vanitas asked a she leaned toward the blonde to get a better look.

“What?! No!!” Roxas squeaked and Ventus and Vanitas laughed.

Sora silenced them. “He’s going home with Riku, aren’t ya Rox?”

Six eyes focused on Roxas as he looked at only Sora. “I’m sorry, Sor.”

“Riku told me he last night that he was going home to Destiny. He didn’t say why, but he was upset about his dad.” Sora continued. “So it wasn’t a big leap when you walked in here smelling like him and looking like you barely escaped death-by-fucking, and said you were leaving.”

Vanitas went from zero to livid in a millisecond. “What the fuck Roxas? First you hate him and then you shove him at Sora and now you’re running off with him?” He fumed. “Make me understand this!”

Roxas winced and said lamely, “It’s not like that…”

“It’s EXACTLY like that!” Vanitas yelled.

Ventus put his hand on Vanitas’ arm. “Calm down Vani. Let him explain.” He looked at Sora and then Roxas. “Explain.”

 

Roxas took a deep breath and started. “I’ve been with Riku for a while.” They all looked confused and Vanitas picked up a shot glass and briefly excused himself to get vodka.

“I…we...didn’t tell anyone because well…because I didn’t want anyone to know. I was stupid and I didn’t realize…anyway when he started talking to you, Sora…I was pissed and it sounded like I hated him. But what was really happening is I was jealous and I realized my mistake by not making it official last year when this started.” Roxas was miserable looking at Sora’s face.

“Last year?!” Vanitas squawked as he re-entered the room. “You and Riku have been fucking for a year and you didn’t think that was something he needed to know?!”

Refusing to acknowledge Vanitas’ rage, Roxas continued to speak to Sora… because he was the only brother who mattered at that moment. “Sora, I’m so sorry. I thought… I thought that Riku had always like…dated who he wanted to. I didn’t know how he felt about me either.” Roxas’ voice was starting to crack. It broke his heart that Sora looked so humiliated.

“You could’ve told me, Rox. You _should’ve_ told me. Or HE should’ve told me.” Sora said almost to himself. “Goddamn.” He stared at the counter no longer able to look at the misery on Roxas’ face.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell everyone.” Roxas dropped his head. Vanitas was on his third shot when he suddenly sent the shot glass sailing against the wall past Roxas’ head and turned up the bottle. Ventus was near tears watching Sora and all eyes went to Roxas as he stood to go. “I love you guys.”

 

He walked out of the kitchen, picked up his board, the bag he had packed, and headed for campus as he dialed his phone. “Hello, I need to see the Dean. Yes, it’s very important. Roxas Strife. Before lunch? Now is good. Be there in five.”

Roxas dropped his bag and board outside the Dean’s door and pecked as he entered.  Dean Xemnas smiled, “Hello Roxas. Have a seat and tell me what I can do for you.”

“I don’t need to sit, thanks. This will only take a minute.” Roxas said as he shoved his hands into his pockets.

“All right then, please.” The Dean held out his hand for Roxas to continue.

“I know about Riku. I know who he is. I know WHAT he is. And I love him.” Roxas began and the Dean’s smile disappeared. “I also know who you are, what kind of person you are, and I wanna say that I’m glad you’re not going to be a part of his life anymore. You don’t deserve him. Hell, I don’t deserve him for that matter, but I am going to do my best to try and make him happy.”

Xemnas was obviously offended and spoke as he stood behind his desk. “Well Mr. Strife you’ve said your piece on behalf of Riku so you may go. I do want to tell you something however and I want you to give it some thought. Riku is nothing but an addict and a coward. He has been a failure as a child and will be a failure as an adult.” He walked to the door and snatched it open for Roxas to leave, then he added, “If you stay with him, that is your own misfortune. I do however hope that it doesn’t escalate to the point that it did between his father and yours. Have a nice day, Mr. Strife.”

Roxas walked out, numb. _What was that old buzzard talking about?_ He dropped his board and headed for Riku’s dorm then it hit him. Had his dad been a soldier under that crazy General? Is it possible that he is the one who killed him? That was something he would figure out later. Besides he was not his dad and neither was Riku.

  


Reno took out his earbud as he drove. “Dayum.” The bug he hid in the Strife house had paid off big time. He had figured out a few things already. The Zexion kid was a pusher, but small time. Riku was Zexion’s hook up. Xion had mentioned a regular at her club named Xaldin who was possibly Riku’s hook up. He couldn’t be sure because she said Riku had never been to the club, but it was not a huge city and one dealer that big was probably the only one in the general area. So he headed downtown to see what he could dig up.

Reno took a few minutes to text Cloud: I hope ur ok. I need to talk to ya. U need to talk to yer kids. Ijs.

He was torn. He wanted to follow Riku and Roxas, but he had a job to do. He knew Riku wasn’t a big time pusher, but he wasn’t small potatoes… also he couldn’t figure out why Riku was suddenly leaving town. Maybe if he could see the big guy, he could beat some info out of him. Either way, he already knew that Roxas was the junkie of the quads, and that’s all Cloud wanted to know but the Turk in him couldn’t be this close to a potential drug bust and not pursue it. Reno loved his job. He parked and went into a café near the club where Xion worked and sat down. His phone buzzed and he immediately thought of Cloud, but it was Axel.

Axel: tell me now?

Reno: u hafta keep ur mouth shut. Handle that?

Axel: K

Reno:  >: (

Axel: sorry -_-

Reno: the guy I been seein is their dad- he didn’t want them ta know

Axel: @.@

Reno: yeah so keep yer trap shut

Axel: NP. He hate me

Reno: I know

Axel: but he’s hot

Reno: I know

Axel: can we share o.O

Reno Goddammit Runt!

Axel: sorry -_-

Reno: get your own yo. There’s like a whole set of em there. Except the junkie kid. Don’t fuck with him

Axel: Y not

Reno: cause I said

Axel: you think Ven will figure it out about you and him since you said that this a.m.

Reno: prolly not-they got other shit goin on an ain’t worried bout me

Axel: are you out of town yet

Reno: (looking around and thinking of his dangerous job) yeah

Axel: ok I gotta work on my study today text me later. Ily

Reno: ily2

  


Vanitas was drunk when Demyx came over to pick up his guitar. “What’s up Vani? Wooaah! Seriously, what’s up?” Demyx was used to Vanitas being the sanest of the crowd.

“Roxas is gone,” Vanitas slurred. “He’s gone with Riku to Destiny Island.”

Demyx was trying to get his head around it and it didn’t make sense. “But I thought Sora…”

“We all thought that, even Sora, but apparently Roxas has been seeing Riku for quite a while and they just kept it quiet. Riku got tired of creepin and started talkin to Sora. Long story short, you don’t know what you got til it’s fuckin your brother.”

Demyx picked up the vodka and took a long swallow. “Where’s Sora?”

“He went to see the bag lady. Said he couldn’t be here right now. Don’t blame him.” Vanitas snorted. Ventus walked in talking on the phone, smiled at Demyx, made a loop and walked back out. Demyx nodded thinking _He must be talking to that Aqua chick_. “Well, I’m out dude. I got papers to write. Call me if you need anything.” He gave Vanitas a half hug and left with his guitar.

  
  


Demyx sat with his guitar getting more and more stoned. He was sick about Ventus and the Aqua chick but he was determined to keep it to himself and let Ventus be happy.

Axel walked into their shared room and pulled his desk chair over to the bedside by him. "What do you plan to do about it?"

Demyx looked at him startled and spluttered. "What are you talking about?"

Axel smiled and took his hand "First of all, I want you to know that everyone at the party last night thought you really didn't care that Ven was with someone else. The second thing I want you to know is... I'm not everyone. I’m asking you what you plan to do about it."

Feeling a little better that he had convinced nearly everyone, Demyx relaxed with his shrink. "Nothing. My plan is to do nothing."

Axel shook his head smiling. "Incredibly smart man, you have my respect. What's your major again?"

Demyx laughed. "Education. I'm going to be a teacher.”

Axel nodded. "Yes, you are. When he realizes what he almost lost, he's gonna shit himself."

"You are so much like your brother." Demyx laughed.

"We get that a lot." Axel chuckled. "But seriously, don’t worry. He'll be back and he'll be sorry but he'll also be ready to commit. So! Well played sir, well played." Axel bowed his head to him and Demyx sighed. “Thanks man, it means a lot coming from you.”

The quiet that followed drew Demyx’s mind to the other Strife drama- Roxas had run off with Riku and Sora was left out in the cold. He felt so badly for Sora because he really was infatuated with Riku. In love, no- he was clearly in love with Roxas.

"You know the whole Riku thing with Roxas was a shock… but I have a theory." Demyx said as he fired up the fattest joint he had ever smoked that was rolled in a paper, and then passed it to Axel.

"Let’s hear it, Teach." Axel grinned and hit.

"I believe that Sora is more upset that Roxas left than who he left with...and I offer further that Sora isn't really upset that Riku dumped him, but he's devastated that Roxas did."

Axel was nodding. "Dem, I’m telling you man, we need minds like yours in the field. Two classes are all you need for a minor in psychology. I’ll help you cram and you can take them next semester. Goddammit Dem! Don't waste it!"

Demyx was laughing as he smoked. "I'll do it but you have to help me."

"I will!" Axel snorted. "And I agree with your theory. I have no proof to offer except some circumstantial bullshit..."

"Ooh! Circumstantial bullshit means gossip! Spill!!" Demyx said excitedly as he turned to face the redhead.

"I have it on good authority that two of the brothers Strife have been in therapy because of _unhealthy relationship boundaries_...and I just don’t see it with Ven and Vani."

"Yeah me neither. The whispering thing that Sora and Roxas do is creepy. I've seen them kiss before...totally platonic though. It’s just this feeling I get from them when they’re around one another."

"Do you think they fuck?" Axel asked then hacked a couple times.

"Ugh...I donno... not sure how I feel about that." Demyx closed his eyes and held his smoke then let it out as Axel stared at him waiting.

"Hot...it would be totally hot." Demyx said as Axel nodded grinning. "Agree!"

"I wonder if Riku will get to hook up with both of them." Demyx pondered.

Axel sat for a moment then shivered "That would be...wow."

"I know right." Demyx laughed.

The two sat smoking their weed and thinking about Strife boys and who was fucking whom until they were stoned. They ordered pizzas and ate until they were miserable. "Come snuggle me, Dem. I have a belly ache." Axel muttered.

"Amateur." Demyx said as he made his way to Axel's bed and crawled in. Axel giggled and nuzzled blonde hair.

"Did I ever tell you that I’m crazy?" Axel asked quietly.

"Didn't have to." Demyx giggled.

"I’m serious." Axel said as he hugged him closer.

"What brand of crazy are you?" Now Demyx was curious because Axel seemed very sane and extremely intelligent up to that point.

"The brand that should have been in jail a thousand times by now. I have DID. I've done bad things, Dem." Axel whispered against blonde hair.

"Really? I’ve never seen it. How many Axel’s are in there?” Demyx asked quietly trying to get his mind around it. Axel always had it together and his idea of a person with DID was anything but.

“A few…and we’re not all bad. The ones of me that are bad, are bad enough to make up for the ones that aren’t.” Axel’s voice seemed to become forced with that statement as if he felt he shouldn’t be saying the words…like when a child is tattling but really doesn’t want to…or a criminal confessing under duress.

“But you're a good person." Demyx reassured as he played with wild red hair.

"Depends on who you ask..." Axel murmured as his drug clouded brain soared over piles of bodies littered throughout the slums, trying to get above the smell of rot.

"I don't ask. I make my own judgement. You're a good guy." Demyx had enough issues of his own to focus on and didn’t see the point in deciding if a person was good or bad unless it was someone who directly affected his life, at which time he only decided based on how they treated others…and animals…people who were cruel to animals usually turned out to be heartless.

Axel smiled as he breathed in the light sweet scent of Demyx’ hair. "Would I still be a good guy if I had _unhealthy relationship boundaries_ with my twin?"

Demyx looked at him slowly raising his eyebrows as he began to picture it in his mind. Axel waited and watched his face as emotions played across it. Demyx was remembering sex with Reno, something scary, and then his pupils dilated just a bit more than they already were and his lids dropped from _Ohmygod_ down to about _Iwannawatch._

Axel smiled innocently as the lids went another fraction lower to _Thatssofuckinhot_ then Demyx snapped back to reality. "You're still a good guy...and so's your brother."

Axel smirked. "Would you still say that if I wasn't right here?"

"Yes." Demyx said still looking into the sparkling greens.

"Would you still want to kiss me?" Axel asked with a wink.

"What do you mean, _still_?" Demyx snorted, the spell broken.

"When I first came here...you wanted to kiss me, I think because I reminded you of Reno." Axel said matter-of-factly as he stroked Demyx’ cheek lightly.

"How could you tell? You didn't even know that I knew Reno at that point." Demyx said giggling.

"Ugh, why must everyone question my expertise? OK, when we first met a day or so in, you began to look at me differently."

"Pfft. Like how?" Demyx scoffed.

"Like this." Axel looked into his eyes, lips slightly parted and blinked slowly as his eyes flicked from Demyx’ eyes to his mouth.

"I...uhh...I" Demyx said, then he crossed the mere centimeters between them and kissed Axel.

Axel kissed him back with more passion than he expected, making him gasp as chills covered his body. He felt a long arm slip down his back to tug his leg across him then return to his back to crush their bodies together. Demyx squeaked and Axel giggled as the kiss ended with short breaths and smiles

"That was uh…that was... Fuck." Demyx said chuckling.

"Wanna do it again?" Axel asked, grinning mischievously.

Demyx paused as he assessed the redhead’s demeanor. "One more?"

"Yes!" Axel smiled as he kissed Demyx more passionately than the first time. He rolled him to his back and slipped both hands underneath to grab his ass and crush their groins together. Demyx moaned as Axel continued to kiss him, and tried not to respond to the grinding but he couldn't help himself. He had a hot redhead between his legs and he wasn't going to waste it. He squeezed Axel gently with his thighs, then he spread them, making Axel gasp and break the kiss. He looked down at Demyx passionately all humor gone, and said "One more?"

 

Demyx rolled his hips and smiled. "One more, and we'll be fucking."

"Yeah...Oh wait fuck...Ven. I wasn't thinking. Sorry." Axel smiled sheepishly.

"I was, and no need to be sorry. I loved kissing you and you're right, I've been wanting to for a while." Demyx said as Axel moved to lie beside him.

"So you're taking those classes right?" Axel said as he yawned.

"Absolutely." Demyx replied and yawned as well. "Just for the record, you and Reno-totally hot."

“Thanks, I’ll pass that along.” Axel snickered as he fluffed his pillow.

“One more thing before you go to sleep?” Demyx said as he turned back to face Axel. “You were seeing Roxas before all this came to light about Riku. Are you ok with all that?”

The look that came across Axel’s face broke Demyx’ heart. He was clearly struggling with it and had to weigh his words before he answered. Demyx smiled and touched his cheek making the look in Axel’s eyes even more desperately sad.

“Do you know…you are the first person who has asked about _my_ feelings in this?” Axel said quietly then took a deep breath and sighed. “I was pretty into Roxas. I mean I know he had drug issues and I tried to compartmentalize yanno, for the sake of my own heart, but I had no clue that he was fucking someone else the _whole_ time. It was a blow to my ego to realize that I was so gone on him that I didn’t see that going on. I’m trained to see that kind of stuff and for something that huge to get by me…well…it was scary.” Axel paused and bit his lip as he thought and his brows drew close briefly. “And when I realized how little I mattered to him, it hurt.”

Demyx waited to hear more but no more was forthcoming. “Roxas is disturbed and in my opinion, bi-polar. He won’t be faithful to Riku like he wasn’t faithful to you.”

“But we weren’t a thing…like a together thing.” Axel said as Demyx saw the pain in his eyes before he closed them. “And I agree with your opinion- it’s just hard to tell how much of it is the drugs and how much of it is just him…but I should have known that something was lacking between me and him…or… now that I know all this about Riku…there was NEVER a _me and him_ to begin with.”

“If it was real for you, then it was a thing, Axe. Don’t discount your own feelings because he didn’t care as much. You have every right to be hurt.” Demyx said as he stroked Axel’s hair.

“He’s beautiful, Dem…I thought.” Axel said as he turned his face to Demyx’ hand and was silent as he stared toward the window.

“ _You_ are beautiful and he didn’t deserve you anyway. There, I judged…I did it and I’m not sorry.” Demyx said as he kissed Axel’s cheek then whispered, “One more?”

 


	21. FIRST NIGHT

FIRST NIGHT

  


Riku opened his door to find Roxas raising his hand to knock. He scooped him into a hug in the doorway and kissed him. Riku was smiling into the kiss when Roxas heard someone talking in the hallway, and turned to look. It was one of Riku's neighbors watching them, smiling. Roxas smiled back, thinking of how good it felt to be out, and Riku poked his head out the door to see who had his attention. He waved at the girl who was there "Hi Stacy!"

She grinned and walked over. "Hi Riku! I didn't know you were with Roxas Strife!" Then she whispered "Hi Roxas".

"Yeah we uh we've actually been together for a while." Riku smiled as he put his arm around Roxas.

"Hotness" she said.

Riku fished out his phone and offered it to her, "We're about to head out on a road trip, Stacy. Would you mind taking a pic of us?"

She squealed and grabbed his phone and Roxas laughed.

"Ready? Say cheese!" Roxas smiled and turned to kiss Riku's cheek just as she took the pic. Riku laughed and hugged him and gave him a big sloppy kiss then dipped him like a dancer. They were all laughing and she tapped away at the phone before giving it back. "I hope you don't mind I sent some to myself."

"No problem. Thanks Stacy. We gotta get going."

They said their goodbyes and grabbed their bags.

"Bus?" Roxas asked, still in a bit of shock at the drastic change in his relationship with Riku… _relationship...._

"Yeah, just to the parking garage downtown."

"Are you nervous about going home?"

"A little. The last time I was there…I'll tell you all about it on the drive. I'll wait til we're too far away for you to change your mind though.” Riku said jokingly.

"I won't be changing my mind."

  


They were quiet on the bus ride and when they got to the garage Roxas thought about the evening Riku had given Sora a ride home from the restaurant.

They approached a tarp covered something. Riku sat their bags down and mumbled. “I liked that rental I was driving but it actually belongs to the school so I have to leave it here.”

He uncovered a black Mercedes-Benz SL 65 AMG. Roxas stared and said softly "Can I touch it?"

Riku laughed and it echoed through the garage. He hugged Roxas from behind and whispered in his ear with a purr, "Yes baby. The answer will always be yes."

Roxas’ heart skipped a beat and Riku tossed their bags behind the seats and turned to him. "Ready?"

"Always.” Roxas grinned.

  


Driving for hours, the “new” couple covered years’ worth of personal details about one another that they had up to that point, avoided sharing. Riku divulged many things… but not all things, and he was sure that Roxas kept secrets of his own.

“I had gotten to the point that nothing mattered. I was just numb except to pain and I wanted it to be over. If there’s another life after this I was ready to go there. I was done. I was nothing more than a disappointment and a burden to Xemnas… everyone knew I was a junkie… my friends. At home I had my surfer friends but they weren’t really friends, just people I knew and surfed with… mostly. Anyway, I decided to end it myself.”

He held his wrist over to show Roxas, who took his arm gently and looked at his face to see if he seemed ok to be talking about it as he drove. Riku looked a little tense but not distraught. Pulling his arm back to hold Roxas’ hand, he continued. “Xemnas made me get corrective surgery to cover the scars. You can still see em but not like you could. I cut them both. I died, Roxas. The housekeeper found me and called for help but I was DOA. Somehow, they got me back, though.”

Riku fell silent and Roxas wiped his own tears and whispered, “I’m glad they did.”

Riku smiled and kissed his hand. “Me too.”

After a bit, Riku pulled into a hotel parking lot.

“Where are we?” Roxas asked as he looked around.

“We’re in Radiant Garden. It’s about halfway. Let’s stay here tonight and we’ll start fresh in the morning.”

Roxas nodded and they went to get a room.

  
  


Sora was sitting under the freeway with Aerith holding a ratty gray pelt on his lap. "Sephiroth looks great, Aerith."

"Thank you, sweetie." She murmured something about 'the crater'.

Sora looked at her old dress and odd boots. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure Zack, um Sora!" Aerith chirped.

"If you had a brother, no…a sister and she took your guy. Would you hate her?"

"No. I always wanted a sister and I can't think of anything that would make me hate her if I had one." Aerith said. "Ya see Sora, I had a guy once who worshipped me and he had a...he once... there was this... he died. And I loved him with my whole heart. But if I knew that someone else would have made him happy, I would have let him go and be happy."

Sora thought it over briefly, "You got any more of that potion?"

"Of course!"

"Let's get loaded!"

She laughed and said, "Ok! I got...oh ..." She dug through her cart and pulled out a gallon sized freezer bag of greens. "Let's smoke some of this! Somebody threw it away and I thought it might be worth keeping."

Sora’s mood improved considerably. Aerith was always collecting things that people threw off the overpass- it was good way to ditch drugs if you were getting pulled over- and there was plenty of it so they decided to invite some of the regulars who lived under the freeway. Someone else had more 'potion' and another person had a pipe. There was a plethora of other drugs that Sora passed on but he ordered pizza and had it delivered. It was cold out but they had three trash fires going. It was a huge party and for the moment, it was home.

  


Ventus was asleep on his laptop. He had been so sick about what had happened between his brothers that he couldn't eat. Vanitas on the other hand had no problem eating or drinking. Tired of watching Ventus mope and sniffle, he went to Demyx and Axel's dorm drunk where the two welcomed him with open arms and ready sympathy. They ordered a ton of Asian food and talked about everything _except_ the Strife family drama.

Demyx eventually dozed off and left him with Axel. "Hey Axel, your brother’s really cool. What kinda work does he do?"

"He's a Turk." Axel said.

"The hell you say." Vanitas was impressed. "He didn't do college?"

"Nah. He was scouted by ShinRa really early on and joined the Turks the same time I went to Midgar U."

"So you went one way and he went the other. Was that hard? I mean when he left?"

Axel got a far-away look in his eyes and nodded as he took another drink of the gin he had stashed in the dorm, then he looked at Vanitas and realized he was probably missing Roxas. "He'll be back Vani."

Vanitas' entire demeanor changed with those words. He looked so vulnerable that Axel looked away because he felt like he was seeing a part of him that was very private. Vanitas looked away too. "You think he will?" He asked, looking at his bottle of tequila.

"He probably misses you guys as much as you miss him." Axel tried to reassure him.

"Nah, Rox is a junkie. That's a different planet to be on." Vanitas said as he drank.

Sensing a downward spiral beginning, Axel changed the subject. "So since you lost your man-kiss cherry, have you exercised your new freedom?"

Vanitas laughed so hard that he folded in half. It was a laugh that tapered off into a wheeze where the only clue that he was laughing was his back jumping.

Axel giggled, satisfied that he had lightened the mood.

Vanitas recovered. "Why no. No I haven't. Wanna break me in?" They both laughed. "You know seriously, I don't even remember kissin him so it's just as weird to think about now as it was before this alleged event."

"Oh it was an event!" Axel laughed. “I think I still have that pic somewhere on my phone.”

Vanitas covered his face. "Ugh he ain’t even hot.”

Axel laughed drunkenly and offered, "Well if you ever decide to practice while you’re not blitzed I think you should find a better study buddy." They roared and Demyx stirred.

"Sshhhh" Vanitas hissed. Axel snickered and they both started to giggle quietly.

Demyx farted in his sleep.

  


Ventus woke to a knocking sound. He was disoriented from falling asleep sitting at his laptop. He looked around wildly then it clicked. He stumbled to the door trying to focus on the clock. It looked like 1:00 a.m. He opened the door to find Aqua about to walk away. "Hey, sorry I was asleep but not where I should have been." He said and she laughed as he rubbed his eyes.

"Too cute. I left my sweater here last night and it's my favorite so... "

"Oh come on in. God it's late don't you have class tomorrow?" Ventus yawned.

"I do" she said "but I just got off work at the hospital. Sorry for coming so late."

"It’s not a problem but you know if you just wanted to sleep here..."

Aqua smiled "Just sleep?"

"Whatever...I mean I'm not gonna jump you..." Ventus smiled and shut down his computer.

"Okay. I really am beat. Can I get a shower?"

"Sure come on."

They ascended the stairs.

He turned off the lights and locked up while Aqua went on ahead. He thought about the events of the day as he walked by Roxas’ bedroom door and wondered where he was and if he was thinking about home yet. He wondered if he missed him, too. Snuggled into bed trying to think of pleasant things, he heard Aqua walk into the room. She was wearing a tee shirt of his that she found hanging in the bathroom and stood for a minute, watching him.

“Come on in,” he said as he raised the duvet. “This whole side is yours.” He motioned to the opposite side of the bed.

She crept over and crawled in beside him. “Are you ok, Ventus?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” He wondered how fast news had traveled around campus where he and his brothers were concerned.

“I heard that Roxas was going out of town…with Riku. I know you guys are really close.”

Ventus couldn’t look at her. “I miss him already.” What he didn’t tell her was that he also missed Demyx.

She slid her arms around him and waited for him to fall asleep.

  
  


Axel had begun to badger Vanitas about seeing his tattoos. "Take it off so I can see!"

"Reno's right. You’re a pest." Vanitas laughed as he stripped off his tee.

Axel immediately started inspecting the intricacies of the dragons. "I assume they represent you and your brothers." He speculated.

"You assume correctly." Vanitas said feeling a little like a whore on the block as Axel looked him over closely. Axel raised his hand to touch and Vanitas flinched and said "Nope."

Axel laughed, "Why not, are you ticklish?"

Vanitas grunted, "Nope."

Axel laughed again, "Ok no touchy-touchy." They both laughed as he moved closer to see the beasts’ interwoven tails.

"So…who is which?" Axel pondered.

Vanitas raised his arms as Axel moved around to better see.

"The green one is for Rox cause of his close resemblance to Dad. It’s the most common color for dragons in art. The gold one is for Ven cause of his sensibility. He's always the one who keeps shit in perspective; he’s our golden boy. The red one is for Sora because he is a nutter and red dragons are the stuff of all great fantasy stories. The black one’s for me."

Axel's hair was starting to brush his chest.

"Amazing." Axel mumbled as he moved to the back again.

"Why did you choose black for yours?" Axel asked as his hair touched Vanitas' spine.

"F-favorite color." He stammered then shivered.

"Reno has a beautiful Phoenix tattoo but that's his story to tell." Axel said as he stood and looked at Vanitas' hands. "What about those?"

Vanitas held out his hands and looked at them briefly. “On my right hand’s a star for my mother because she's passed. And the wolf on my left is for my dad. He's from Nibelheim.

Axel was completely engrossed in his inspection and asked innocently, "Do you have more?"

Vanitas laughed. "Yeah but those are a little more personal, not necessarily in subject but in location, yanno."

Axel smiled and nodded, "I get it." But he kept eyeing where the Dragon tattoos dipped below the waist of his jeans. "Do these go down really far or..."

Vanitas tugged his jeans down low enough that Axel could see more of the tat. “They go down lower but you don't wanna see my ass so..."

Axel protested "Don’t tell me what I don't wanna see!" He laughed. "Show me that ass!" They laughed and Vanitas started unbuttoning his jeans. "Ok but don't say shit about it. I'm takin enough shit bout the Tidus thing."

Axel grinned as he waited. "You gotta own that shit Vani. If you think a guy is hot you gotta put it out there."

"That's the thing! I _don't_ think Tidus is hot, I was just stoned." he laughed.

  
  


Aerith watched Sora nod off and put a ratty blanket over him where he sat, still holding the pelt of the long dead stray cat that she named Sephiroth. She had found the starving kitten and cared for him. His gray fur was so soft and his eyes were a beautiful green. He reminded her of her beloved Sephiroth. She loved the kitten and he grew big and strong but ended up a victim of the street like so many others.

"Hey Jecht, will you help me get Sora into the cart so I can take him home?" She asked one of the sturdier hobos who lived under the freeway.

"Anything for you, Aerith." He scooped up Sora and deposited him into her shopping cart on top of the clothes and things she never travelled without lest they be stolen.

"Do ya want me to keep Sephiroth here for ya?" Jecht offered.

"No I think I'll let Sora keep him for tonight. He's having a really bad time and needs him more than I do right now." She pushed Sora away toward his home, mumbling to herself.

  


Axel had talked Vanitas out of his pants, literally. He stood in his boxer briefs under the close and exacting scrutiny of one very oblivious redhead. Axel questioned him about his tattoos and he answered but at the same time he was praying that Axel wouldn’t touch him. His mind kept wandering back to the creepy twin thing that he did with Reno. When he thought about that he remembered the party and when he thought of the party he remembered how they looked together and when he thought about that he felt embarrassed and horny at the same time. Goddammit he felt like he was in 8th grade again.

Axel had made it to the tattoos on his feet and Vanitas had his hands clasped loosely in front of his junk.

“Can I please touch your damn foot? I can’t see that well the way it is.” Axel was on his knees sitting back on his feet looking up at Vanitas.

_Goddammit_ he thought. “You can see fine, don’t touch.” Vanitas said quietly as he grinned, thinking _I do this shit to myself. Why?_

“K” Axel said and promptly lowered his face to the floor, ass in the air.

Vanitas bolted for the bathroom and Axel sat up confused. “Vani…?”


	22. REDHEADED VOODOO

REDHEADED VOODOO

  


Vanitas was in the bathroom looking for something to breathe into. He was NOT having a panic attack! He was NOT the nutter of the family! He couldn't FIND anything! His internal voice sounded like a 6th grade girl! He found a shower cap and tried that, pressing it to his face, he panted. He was going lose it because of that poisonous redhead and his ass! He was attracted to a GUY. He looked down at his dick and squeaked “TRAITOR.” _This shower cap ISN'T working_. Flop. Sliiiide. Vanitas sat on the bathroom floor mourning the loss of his innocence.

Axel knocked softly. "You ok in there?"

"Yeah. I'm fine...um...I'll be out in a sec." He looked at the shower cap and bowed his head in defeat, and then got up and washed his face. _Ok Vani get yer fuckin shit together and get yer clothes on_. He replaced the shower cap and took a deep breath. _I got this. Keep yer eyes on the floor_. He opened the door and walked out and straight into Axel. _He's touching me! He's touching me! Nooooo_!

"Hey are you ok?" Axel asked as he grabbed Vanitas to keep him from falling.

"I... yeah... I'm." Vanitas struggled to regain his balance and repeated the mantra: _I will not get hard - I will not get hard._ "Sorry I bumped into ...you ..."

Axel was holding him around his ribs. _Godfuckingdamn_ Vanitas thought. "You can uh... Let me go now." he mumbled. _He smells sooo good_

"Not til I know you're ok. Come sit down." Axel helped him to the bed.

"Thanks man. I didn't mean to freak out on you. I just uh..." Vanitas was struggling. _Why can't he just take his hands off me? I’ll go and beat off to Namine's pic 3 times as penance. I need to pray more._

Axel began rubbing Vanitas’ arms. "Hey, you want something? I know you've had a rough day and we been drinking… too much. Let’s have a smoke yeah?"

"That sounds good but Imma put my pants back on first."  Vanitas laughed as he started to relax.

"Damn, I was gonna take mine off." Axel whined then giggled.

"I bet. Ya lech." Vanitas smirked.

"LECH! I resemble that remark." Axel sneered with a smile as the raven slid back into his jeans.

“So what happened?” Axel asked seriously. “Do you have low blood sugar or something?”

Vanitas picked up his bottle of tequila and took a long drink. "Its nothin man."

"Axel Sinclair, MS Psychology and as soon as I finish this study, PhD -nice to meet you." He cocked his head to the side and smiled.

Vanitas put his hands over his face and groaned. The Dragon tattoos moved as he fisted his hands in his hair and pulled as he growled. His frustration was not lost on Axel who could watch this shit all night. They were having a test of wills, one growling and one grinning.

  


Reno sat down at the bar and ordered a drink as he checked his phone. Not a word from Cloud. This was it, he decided. This would be the last text. He could man up and come back and face his problems or he could stay out there wherever he was and hide from them, but this was the last text he would be sending until he heard from Cloud.

Reno: Ur kids need u yo. Stop bein a pussy

There, Reno thought, that was the truth in a nutshell. He turned to the stage to watch the strippers and wait for his little pixie. Soon enough she was up and he walked down and sat in front of the stage. Xion saw him as soon as he was seated and started smiling. She maintained eye contact through most of her dance and as soon as it was over Reno made his way to the backstage door. The bouncer shook his head _no_ so Reno showed him his work ID. The bouncer held the door for him and directed him to which dressing room she would be in.

He pecked on the door as he opened it and she squealed “Reno!” and jumped into his arms. The other strippers looked, some smiled and others looked jealous.

“Hello gorgeous. How are ya?”

“I’m better now that you’re here. That was it for me for tonight. Wanna buy me a drink?” Xion beamed.

“You know it. Can we get a table instead of the bar? Want somethin a little quieter.”

“Sure, anything you want, Reno.”

“Hearin that never gets old yo!” He followed her out after she half-dressed and they sat for drinks. “So I actually need your help, dollface. I’m workin on a case, and don’t worry about your little boy/friends yo, cause this won’t touch them.”

“Ok” Xion said “What ya wanna know?”

Reno weighed his choices of how best to ask her then decided blunt and to the point was best. “I need ta know how to get in touch with Riku’s guy.” Xion stared at him for a moment then said, “I don’t want to be a part of this unless you can promise me I’ll be safe, because if you can’t, then I can’t help you.”

“I’ll keep you safe, but nobody will know you were involved unless you tell.”

“Don’t you have to reveal sources to convict someone?”

“I’m a Turk baby, all I have to do is keep my gun clean yo.”

  
  


Vanitas was feeling defeated. Axel was patiently waiting on an answer and he had a feeling he knew what was going on. He had noticed that the closer he got to Vanitas the more tense he became. Even during the first evaluation for his study he seemed to react to his proximity even more than his touch. There was a limit and he was gonna find it - the point at which Vanitas shut down. It was somewhere between here (Axel leaned close enough to feel the warmth from Vanitas' skin) and here (Axel laid his hand on Vanitas' forearm).

Vanitas thought the redhead looked like a kid at a science fair. _What’s going on in that head of his? May as well be straight with him… he’s probably figured it out already anyways,_ he thought. "I guess I'm a late bloomer." He confessed.

"Hmm" Axel nodded once, signaling him to continue.

"I've never been attracted to a guy before now. I freaked out a little." He looked away.

"It's cool. I get it. There's nothing to be embarrassed about." Axel reassured him as he lit some smoke and walked over to the window.

Vanitas joined him and took the joint. "So that's it? No words of wisdom or prediction of behavior?"

Axel smiled. "You're bi-sexual, not mental." He chuckled. "You’ll meet a guy you're attracted to that you trust and you'll experiment. You may like it, you may not but there will be others. You’ll seek comparison for proof ..."

Vanitas nodded. "I feel kinda liberated having said that out loud." He was so caught up in introspection that he didn't notice Axel moving closer to him.

"As well you should" Axel whispered.

The sudden realization of his closer proximity got Vanitas' attention and he looked up in surprise. Axel watched for signs of panic and saw them fade replaced by stillness so he touched his arm and saw somethin change. Instead of fleeing the touch, he smiled so Axel smiled back and turned to face him. Vanitas seemed to understand that this was an offer and raised his hand to touch Axel's face.

Axel smiled and leaned into the touch and Vanitas' smile started to fade as nervousness came over him again.

"You don't need to be nervous. It's just me. You know me well enough and I won't do anything you don't want me to do, Vanitas."

When Axel spoke his full name, he looked into his eyes. He loved the way he said his name. _That’s part of his red-headed voodoo shit_ , Vanitas thought jokingly. _What a fucking nightmare_ , he laughed to himself, _this hot, evil, red haired demigod who’s also a genius with a PhD_ (almost) _in psychology. Nightmare_. _But I like scary shit._ "Wanna be my second man-kiss?"

Axels eyes could've burned holes in his soul, "Oh yeah."

Vanitas’ mind was screaming as he brushed his lips across Axel’s. He felt the softness and smelled the sweet smell of chocolate and cinnamon, finding that he liked the feel of the slight fine stubble on his face.

Axel was over the moon. He was glad to see Vanitas dealing with this realization in a healthy positive way. He would enjoy his new freedom now that he had accepted it.

When Vanitas' lips touched his, it felt like static shock and when he felt it, Axel abandoned his psychological evaluation of the situation immediately. _What was that_ , he thought. That was a first.

Axel recalled the last time he had kissed Roxas and it was hot, but not like this. He reasoned that it was probably due to the situation. Roxas was very secure in his sexuality, he was passionate, but he was strung out on H, also they had been drinking and had a little smoke… but this was real, honest, raw.

He put his hand on Vanitas' cheek and kissed him gently, stroking his smooth skin with his thumb and watching as he closed his eyes. He kissed the corner of his mouth and felt the warm puffs of air coming from his nose when Vanitas surprised him by putting his hands on his waist.

Pausing, Axel brushed his thumb across one of the ever-present stainless hoops that marked one of Vanitas' snake bites. "Are there any rules to this, Vanitas?" he asked softly, touching his lips to Vanitas' temple and weaving his hands into his soft dark hair.

"Fuck rules" whispered Vanitas as his hands started to creep up Axel’s sides and then back down. Smiling, Axel kissed him, lightly tugging at the hoop with his lips, making Vanitas' breath hitch. The redhead’s ring clicked against one of the many hoops in his ears as he moved his hands from his hair to his neck where he could feel his racing pulse. Axel paused again to look for signs of panic but all he noticed were the flecks of gold in Vanitas' blue eyes before they dropped to look at his mouth.

 

The _official_ kiss began slow and soft. Axel could feel his pulse spike in time with his own as the kiss became more passionate. Vanitas’ hands slipped down to his hips and squeezed as he deepened the kiss.

Axel growled quietly and moved his hands down Vanitas' shoulders to his bare chest, leaving trails of chills in their wake, and came to rest on the dragon tattoos on his back. He couldn't help getting lost in the moment- he could taste peppermint and something so sweet...like powdered sugar...and his skin was cool and smooth...and those tattoos and earrings... Axel snapped out of his mental reverie when Vanitas moaned. He wanted to hear that again. Right now.

He tugged him closer, but stopped to allow Vanitas to decide how far he wanted to take it. The raven closed the gap between their bodies completely and moaned again but broke the kiss.

Axel nuzzled his hair and kissed his temple, not really knowing what he wanted now.

"Axel?" Vanitas sounded almost breathless.

"Yes?" Axel whispered beside his ear.

"That was ...um... That was ...um..."

Axel squeezed him tight and then released him. "That was fuckin hot and you can't even say it wasn't." Winking, he turned away to light a smoke.

Vanitas laughed, once again back in his comfort zone. "Yeah I um..."

Axel perked up, taking a long drag off his cigarette, eyebrows creeping up. "You um, what?"

"Need a drink" Vanitas laughed as he reached for his bottle.

Axel grabbed his arm gently and smiled. "I think maybe I enjoyed that a little more than you did."

Vanitas shook his head slowly. "No way."

"Tell me what you liked about it." Axel slid his hand down to hold Vanitas' and pull him toward the bed to sit.

_Dr. Sinclair is in the house,_ thought Vanitas as they sat on the bed, one leg on the floor, facing one another. "I liked it all. I liked everything you did." He looked away. "I just got so into it ...and ...I was..."

"Why'd you stop?" Axel asked putting out his cigarette.

"I felt like it ... Like I ... I wanted to ..."

"Look you don't have to tell me if you're embarrassed. Just know that I thought it was amazing and it made me FEEL amazing. I didn't want to stop. I didn't want YOU to stop. And if you ever wanna kiss me again, for any reason, you can. Anytime. Any place."

Vanitas looked up from between spikey bangs and smiled. "No warnin?"

Axel grinned "Nope just do it. Cause kisses like that don't happen often, not for me anyways."

Vanitas held his head up. "What ya mean _like that_?"

"A kiss I can get lost in." Axel said as he lowered his eyes.

Vanitas reached over and took his hand. "And it's ok with you if kissing is all I want right now?"

Axel’s eyes snapped up, wide with excitement, "Yes!"

Vanitas gave him a crooked smile. "Could we maybe spend some time together like..."

"Only if I can call it a date!" Axel said taking his other hand.

Vanitas laughed, "Ok. Yeah, a date would be cool."

"How bout dinner tomorrow?"

 

Vanitas was nodding when there was a knock at the door. Axel went over and opened it and a look of absolute joy came over his face. Vanitas looked away before the visitor entered. He would love to make Axel light up like that.

"Hey Vani, what's poppin yo?"

His head snapped around "Reno! What's up man? I thought you'd bailed on us."

"I did but work brought me right back so I swung by ta see Xion and the Runt."

"Reno?" Demyx mumbled in his Ambien induced sleep.

They all laughed. "So sweet, yo."

"I gotta get goin guys." Vanitas announced.

"You can stay if you want." Axel said. "Reno's gonna crash here too. It's only a few hours til morning and you got class. What ya say?"

Vanitas thought about the red-head voodoo and the second they saw the apprehension on his face, they started to advance on him. He feared this time it wouldn't be as quick and simple… He was right. He was becoming the filling in red-headed incubus sandwich cookie. They wrapped him up with warm arms and all he could smell, see, hear, and feel was THEM. Reno was behind him whispering into his right ear and Axel in front, whispering into his left. "Do you know how beautiful you are? Does anyone tell you that you're amazing? You have the most beautiful eyes. You smell so good. You deserve to be worshipped. You've got a beautiful smile. I love your laugh. Your tattoos are gorgeous. Your skin is so soft ..."

They whispered those things into his ears one never interrupting the other so that it was a steady stream of praise; all the while their hands were caressing his skin (Damn himself for not getting his shirt back on yet) giving him chills and making him shiver. They were so warm, and he couldn't keep his eyes open.

There were hands in his hair and touching his neck, back and chest. There were lips on his ears whispering beautiful things, there were two bodies pressed to him and he could feel everything: every movement, every shift. He was overwhelmed. "God" he whispered not being able to hold it in.

The voices continued. "Let go. Just feel. Focus on this. There isn't anything else." All he could smell was sweet cinnamon chocolate GOD. He had no control now. He felt the hands on his chest drift over his nipples as the hands behind him slid down to his ass. He was mush everywhere except well... Axel pressed closer to him to feel his erection and Reno pressed against his ass making sure he felt his.

Then they released him slowly.

"What the actual fuck?" Vanitas mumbled trying to get his land legs back and pushing the heel of his hand against his hard on. "You guys...fuuck..."

Both the evil redheads were smiling at their handy work. "Feels good yo?"

"You like it Vani?"

"Fuckin voodoo is what it is." Vanitas said. "I need a shot and a smoke and now I need ta have some 'me' time in the bathroom. Goddamn." Vanitas chuckled. "Why? Just ...why?"

"Cause it makes ya feel good yo."

“It’s an incredible feelin for sure. A little scary too.” Vanitas said as the laughed.

"We don’t do that shit to just anybody." Axel said as Vanitas had a shot and lit a smoke.

Reno smoked with him then announced, "I'm hittin the sheets yo. Help me put these beds together, Runt."

Vanitas watched as they pushed Axel’s bed over against the bed containing Demyx. They started to undress and Axel watched Vanitas. He was only wearing jeans so he dropped them, staring right into Axel’s eyes. Axel unbuttoned his jeans and it was immediately obvious that he wasn't wearing any underwear. Reno was already crawling into bed to roll Demyx over and make room and Axel brushed against Vanitas as he walked by to grab some pajama pants before going into the bathroom to change.

He bounded out of the bathroom and slid into bed up against Reno and reached for Vanitas like a little kid does, making grabby hands. Vanitas got into bed and Axel snuggled him close. He kicked one leg backward to hook it over Reno's leg, and kissed Vanitas’ hair. Vanitas closed his eyes and wondered where Roxas was, and if he missed him at all.


	23. MISSING THINGS

MISSING THINGS

  


Ventus woke up alone. His pillow still smelled like Aqua but she was gone and had been long enough for the bed to be cold. It was Monday and regardless of the fucked-upness of their situation with Roxas, he had class. He decided to make coffee before his shower, so he put on the first thing he picked up and headed downstairs. The house was too quiet so he made the coffee and went back up to shower. Outside in the yard, in a shopping cart, Sora slept on peacefully.

  


Axel woke to his phone buzzing. It was sitting on his forehead. _Reno_ , he thought and smiled. Vanitas was still sleeping and Axel had to pause and watch him. He reached up to scratch one of his lip rings and Axel smiled. Turning back to his phone, he checked his messages.

Reno: Hey Runt, I’m out. I’ll b n touch as always. Txt me f u need me. Thought u would like these. The 1?

Attached were pics of him and Vanitas asleep. They were sleeping in the same position that he slept with Reno when they were kids, and still did from time to time. They were facing each other and Vanitas had his forehead against Axel’s chest, arms around one another. Axel stared for a few seconds before he replied.

Axel: Sweet- what u sayin?

Reno: u kno

Axel: don’t mean nothin

Reno: bs

Axel: whatev

Reno: ily Runt

Axel: ily2

Demyx was already up and gone. _He probably left with Reno_ , Axel thought. He had eventually gotten the story out of them and it was bittersweet. Apparently, Demyx’s very wealthy benefactor was none other than Rufus ShinRa. That’s how he met Reno. Knowing what a sadistic fuck his boss was he wanted to help Demyx get away from that life; he was a good kid and had already paid his dues growing up in and out of foster homes. He had enough problems without having to fuck his way through college and get his ass beat down as well.

Demyx had been Rufus’ for a year before Reno met him, so talking to him about getting away wasn’t easy at first. He had resigned himself to the fact that he wouldn’t have the money to finish college and support himself without Rufus’ help. Rufus had the kid convinced that he needed him so despite the occasional beatings, he stayed.

Finally after they had become friends of a sort, Reno took it upon himself to take some photos after the stubborn blonde got his ass beat again. He showed him the pics and told him that was his way out if he wanted. He would handle everything. All Dem had to do was pack and leave before Rufus came back from Healin in two days.

Demyx had cried and was scared but Reno assured him in a very physical way that his life could be better. He gave him an envelope with names, numbers, and money and Demyx was gone before the sun set. Reno took care of his end by telling Rufus he had confiscated the pics from someone associated with anti-ShinRa activists, and advised him to try and compensate for his mistreatment of the boy by paying his remaining tuition, plus a little hush money. Rufus took his advice, and Demyx was set. Reno only contacted him once after he left to give him Rufus’ terms and wish him good luck.

Axel woke Vanitas with kisses all over his face and he mumbled about coffee and class but dragged Axel back into bed for snuggles and kisses. Too soon, however he was up and gone too, leaving him to work on his study.

  


Ventus walked out the door to head to class only to be faced with a shopping cart full of sleeping Sora. “Goddammit”.

He woke him up and helped him out and into the house. Sora smelled like smoke and he was holding onto a gray furry something _\- ugh- it’s that cat_. “Sora, put that down and get a shower. When’s your class?”

“Monday at 10:00” Sora yawned.

“Well, it’s Monday at 8:30 right now so get a shower and put that cat down.” Ventus scolded.

“Okay…I miss Roxas.” Sora looked around, his face utterly miserable.

Ventus pulled him into a tight hug and felt him shaking as he began to cry. _This isn’t good_ , thought Ventus. _This could escalate quickly_ with Sora. He was volatile.

“Why don’t you text him, ok? I know he’ll be happy to hear from you. He probably thinks you’re mad about Riku.” Ventus talked as they walked upstairs.

“I’m mad but I love him anyhow.” Sora sniffled.

“I know Sor… me too.” Ventus assured him and left him to get cleaned up and go to class.

  
  


Roxas and Riku were on the road after a big breakfast and Riku was telling Roxas about Radiant Garden as they drove through the city. “I got arrested there once.” He said, pointing at a store front. “I passed out and slept on that bench more than once.” He pointed to a concrete bench that was right outside a bar. “I always woke up with no wallet.” Riku frowned.

A loud honk got their attention and someone yelled “Riku!!”.

“Ugh” Riku grunted “It starts.” He saw the vehicle with the waving driver and smiled as he pulled into a large free parking garage. Roxas looked at him unsure of what kind of person he was about to meet after hearing all Riku’s stories. Riku kissed him reassuringly. “Don’t look so worried baby. It’s just some jackass I used to bang H with at school. He cleaned up before I left.”

A guy approached the car and Riku got out and closed the door. Roxas watched suspiciously. _Never trust a junkie_. After all, he was one, so nobody knew better than him. The guy was kind of vanilla looking to Roxas - he had dark hair and was a little heavy. He could hear part of their conversation.

“Pence! What’s up man? It’s been…”

“…you transfering back to Radiant…”

“…TU…moving out…yeah”

“…catch up… call me man…”

“…see ya, Pence…

Riku got back in, looking a little preoccupied and they hit the road again. Roxas wondered why he hadn’t been introduced to the guy but figured maybe Riku didn’t want to mix his old life with his new one. Or maybe Riku didn’t want people here knowing he was _with_ Roxas. Or maybe Riku just wanted to hurry and get this over with.

As they neared the university more and more people recognized Riku’s car and yelled, waved, flashed tits, but he just drove on through. “Nothing ever changes here.”

Roxas laughed. “You’re quite well known considering you only lived here during school.”

“I guess. I did a lot of shit that those freaks probably still talk about.” Riku said with a smile. “And all things considered, this place has more good memories than my home.”

They passed the hospital on the outskirts of the city and Riku looked over at it. “I did some time there too. You wouldn’t have liked me when I was here. I was THAT GUY.” He laughed. “If someone had some new shit, they would say ‘Give it to Riku first and see what happens’. I didn’t care about shit. I fucked a lot of people. I hurt a lot of people. I hurt myself a lot.”

 

They were quiet after that until they reached the ferry and Roxas got a text from Sora.

Sora: I miss you. When u coming home?

Roxas: I miss you too. Glad you don’t hate me. I don’t deserve you.

Sora: when u coming back tho?

Roxas: idk Sor. I guess when he gets his shit sorted

Sora: -_-

Roxas: Is everything ok there?

Sora: I guess I woke up here (he sent a pic of Aerith’s cart) I had plastic flowers stuck to me

Roxas: LOL I love you Sora

Sora: How is Riku?

Roxas looked at Riku. “Sora wants to know how you are.”

Riku looked guiltily at the road ahead, “Tell him I’m good but I could use some skittles.”

Roxas: He says he’s good but could use some skittles (?)

Sora: Tell him the skittles are sour. He don’t want them no more.

Roxas conveyed the message and Riku looked sad but nodded. “Ok, just tell him I’m sorry.”

Roxas: he says he’s sorry

Sora: whatev I got class. Come home soon. I love u

Roxas: I love you too Sor

 

They drove the car onto the ferry and Riku bought some hot chocolate and sat down on the deck. Smelling the ocean brought back a lot of memories for both boys. Roxas wondered when he’d see his dad again- It sucked that he was wrecked for his last visit. He wondered if Axel was going to go ahead with study while he was gone. He thought of playing in the ocean with his brothers and their dad, and of Uncle Cid building sand castles for them to destroy … and Uncle Vince who hated the sun. He leaned against Riku who was lost in his own memories.

Riku thought of how much he loved the ocean and surfing; how many nights he had slept on the beach because it gave him some peace. He thought of the time he overdosed and everyone left him to be carried out by the tide. His eyes dropped to his cup. He was useless. He never was worth anything to anyone. He looked at Roxas and wondered if he would feel any differently about him. Riku had heard ‘love’ from so many people who truly didn’t give a shit whether he lived or died that he had a hard time believing Roxas was sincere.

He remembered more than one occasion when he would be fucking somebody and they would say ‘I love you’ he would laugh at them and say ‘Yeah I love you too baby’. He was not a nice guy. He put his arm around Roxas as if to shield him from the ugliness of who he was and Roxas looked up at him and smiled, “You ok?”

“Yeah, just thinkin. Prolly not somethin I need to spend a lotta time doin while I’m here.” Riku smiled and finished his cocoa.

  


Soon the ferry stopped and they were on their way to Riku’s home. “Will anyone be there?” Roxas asked, feeling a little nervous.

“No one is ever home except the housekeeper. The gardeners come once a week, and the pool guys- they do the fish tanks too. They don’t keep a cook anymore.” Riku spoke as if he were reading from a teleprompter; just giving information on auto pilot.

“We had a maid for a while but that was all. Dad had help from his friends raising us and we just hung out together. I’ve never been alone… even before I was born.” Roxas said almost apologetically as he thought of the years that Riku had spent alone.

Riku’s face became serious as he turned into a gated driveway. He rolled his window down and pressed a code into a keypad, then the gates opened and he rolled through. Roxas tried not to gawk at the house and grounds as he looked around.

There were two men working at the side of the estate. _Must be the gardeners_ he thought. The lawn was perfect and there were lots of trees and flowers. The closer they got the more tense Riku seemed to become and when they got out of the car he looked like he was going to be sick. “Are you sure you’re ok?” Roxas asked as he took Riku’s hand.

“Yeah, I just…” He shook his head and dug through his pocket for a small baggie. He hopped up on the hood of his car and rolled himself a joint, then one for Roxas. “Here, I need this and I don’t need to abuse substances alone.”

They laughed and smoked right there in front of the Xemnas mansion and the gardeners, and Riku didn’t give a fuck. _Just like old times_ , he thought as he smiled at Roxas through the smoke.

  


Vanitas walked into the caf for lunch and everything was normal until… some thot (friend of Namine’s) walked by giggling, “Hey Vanitas I heard you switched teams.”

He looked up from his plate and said solemnly, “What is this, high school?”

The girl laughed, “I didn’t believe it when I heard. But then we saw you leaving Larxene’s building this morning…”

“So fucking what?” Vanitas was getting annoyed. “What do you care where I sleep?” he started eating his bacon.

“Oh I don’t, but you know how people like to talk. Larxene said you must be fucking Demyx because if Axel was fucking you we would have heard the wind whistling through your asshole when you left.”

Vanitas dropped his head and chuckled before he stood up and flipped the entire table, sending food flying everywhere and people scrambling to get out of the way. The girl squeaked and fled. The yellow flecks of color in his eyes flashed as he walked to the doorway where a guy who had heard it all whistled as he walked by. Without a second thought Vanitas spun around, knuckles connected with skull, whistler connected with floor, unconscious. _Tomorrow will be a better day_ he thought as he left.

  


Sora pushed Aerith’s cart back to the freeway bridge and waited for her. She arrived an hour after him, carrying some clothes. “Hi Sora!”

“Hi Aerith, thanks for letting me hang out last night. You’re so good to me.” Sora smiled. “I slept in the cart _all night_ with Sephiroth, so he’s fine. Thanks too for leaving him with me.”

Aerith beamed, “I’m glad you seem to feel better today. You’re a sweet boy and deserve to be happy.”

“Thank you. You would be a great mom Aerith. I never knew mine, so you’re what I got and I think you’re awesome.” Sora said as he hugged her.

She started to cry and hugged him back. “I wish I was your real mom, Sora. I had a baby once a long time ago, but he died. I think about him every single day…Sephiroth and him…his eyes, his eyes were so green, but my baby, my boy his eyes were aqua like the ocean that day…the one day I saw him…the day he was born and the day he died…was just the other day and I…I…” She cried as Sora held her.

“I see… I see him…everywhere and Sephiroth is always saying…oh but I …” Aerith cried and babbled until she couldn’t anymore. Sora felt so sorry for her. He wanted to do something nice for her but she was weird about people doing stuff for her. She needed a new coat and a decent meal. She needed a family to take care of her inside a real house. He sat for a while thinking, then left her sleeping, tucked under a blanket with Sephiroth and a note that said, “Please come to dinner at my house. Any day you want. Love Sora.”


	24. NIGHT (GOWN) SURFING

NIGHT (GOWN) SURFING

  


Riku and Roxas walked into the Xemnas mansion with a solid buzz, where they were met by a little lady in uniform who greeted only Riku. "Master Riku, I presume." This made Roxas giggle which in turn made Riku giggle.

"I am, and this is my boyfriend Roxas. You are?"

"My name's Marlene and I'm the housekeeper. Your father informed me that you would be home this week." She looked at them like she wanted to spray them with disinfectant.

"He's not my father and this isn't my home." Riku sneered at her.

She looked at him with a sneer of her own. "I heard about the spoiled little rich boy who spent his father's hard-earned money on drugs. I guess the stories were all true."

"Look bitch, I know he signs your goddam paycheck but all your job entails while I'm here is to stay the fuck outta my way and clean shit. If you have any complaints, feel free to call Xemnas and see how fast he replaces you with someone who doesn't whine about their fucking job."

Marlene looked as if her head would explode and she stalked away. Riku took Roxas' hand as if nothing had happened and strolled off through the cavernous home. Riku stopped and kissed him, “You want the tour?”

“Sure.” Roxas gaped as they proceeded through the main house and stopped in the study first because that's where the bar was.

“This is where Xemnas keeps the good stuff.” Riku giggled as he opened the bar and produced some unopened overpriced bottles of brandy. “This tastes really good when you burp.” Riku slid it across the desk and sat in Xemnas’ desk chair while Roxas browsed the book selection.

When he tired of that he went to sit on Riku’s lap. “What should we do to commemorate our time in this study?”

“Let’s leave him a gift as a token of our appreciation, shall we?” Riku asked. Roxas thought this probably wasn’t the first time Riku had done this as he went to a particular set of books and took one down. He lay the volume on the desk and opened it to a page with a diagram of a man. The book looked very old and was written in Latin. Riku went through the desk until he found a marker, drew tits on the man and labeled it in Latin, then drew the book man with tits a clown face. “Let’s leave this here.”

 

From there they went to huge sun room that was filled with exotic plants and potted trees. It looked like rain forest in one area. “Come look, Rox.” Riku waved him over to where he stood. Behind some banana trees on a raised platform, was a small grove of Mary. Roxas roared with laughter making Riku feel proud.

“What about the gardeners, don’t they take care of the house plants too?” Roxas asked wheezing with laughter.

“Denzel is the head gardener and he’s cool. I told him if he looks after them for me he can have all he can smoke.” Roxas was amazed.

Riku then took him downstairs to show him the home theater, the gym, and the indoor pool. He explained, “I used to come down here in winter a lot. No one really used this pool but me.”

Roxas watched the emotions flit across his face having no idea that as a child Riku would take food down there and stay for days only to emerge and find that nobody knew he was gone except the housekeeper.

Seeing the melancholy creeping over Riku like a thick fog, Roxas said, “I wanna see your room.”

Smiling solemnly, Riku took his hand again and led him to an elevator, and they ascended. They exited on the fourth and topmost level of the home. When the elevator door closed, it looked like the other doorways on the hall, except above the doorknob, there was a button. Roxas was still trying to get his head around that when Riku gave his hand a tug.

 

Riku’s suite consisted of three rooms and a bathroom. Double doors opened into the entryway and the sitting area where there were two flat screens and expensive looking cabinetry that Riku explained ‘hides all my gaming shit’. One entire wall was covered with white sheers so long that they bunched on the floor. The floors were white marble and shined like glass except where they were covered by rugs that Roxas really didn’t want to step on. Riku giggled and lit another joint, passing it to Roxas. “Relax all this’ll be over soon and we’ll be back to dorms and the caf.”

Roxas looked horrified. “Yay?”

Riku laughed and kicked his shoes off, then walked over to the sheer-covered wall and smacked a button. He stood behind Roxas hugging him and kissing his neck as Roxas watched what appeared to be panel blinds rising behind the sheers. The entire wall was windows and doors that led to a spacious balcony, and beyond the balcony Roxas could see the ocean.

He didn’t realize that he was holding his breath as he walked toward the glass but Riku followed and smiled as they opened them all, letting the ocean breeze blow the sheers around the room like ghosts. Turning his eyes away from the ocean view, Riku kissed him and they walked out onto the balcony where there was comfy furniture and a fireplace. Roxas stood looking out at the ocean and thought of his brothers. He snapped some pics with his phone before Riku said, “You can hang out here as long as you like. I gotta get some stuff from my bedroom. Come in whenever you’re ready, or I can meet you back out here.”

“Okay” Roxas murmured as he watched the tide and smelled the salty air. As Riku entered the house again he decided he should text one of his brothers to check in.

Roxas: sup?

Vanitas: I've been worried sick and so have Sora and Ven. How r u?

Roxas: good. I’m ok. How r u guys? I miss u all

Vanitas: Sora slept in a shopping cart last night, Ven is dating Aqua now, and I like boys.

Roxas stared at his phone and make an exaggerated worried face.

Roxas: Sora and Ven I get- but was that auto correct?

Vanitas: no

Roxas: ok...so who's the lucky guy?

Vanitas: Axel

Roxas stared at his phone again. He felt like someone had switched his reality. Like instead of leaving town he had left sanity.

Vanitas: I mean u and him weren’t a thing right?

Roxas: congrats. I'm sending some pics. View is amazing.

Vanitas: view is awesome. Makes me homesick. I wanna surf!

Roxas: me too. Too bad he's moving. Would be great place to hang.

Vanitas: where's he moving to?? And why??

Roxas: long story bro and he's not sure yet. Will keep you posted. Love u

Vanitas: love u2

  


Roxas walked back inside to find Riku. The bedroom door was open and Riku was on the floor reaching under a huge bed covered in white. It looked like it was made of clouds and around the canopy were more white sheers and another wall of windows and doors that Riku had already opened. The sheers danced thru the room and all he could smell was the sea and clean linen.

One wall was covered with surfboards and another wall held a couple tasteful paintings of the ocean. On the bedside table were framed photos of Riku and various people. Riku and the Xemnases. Riku and a girl and a guy in wetsuits with their boards. Riku and a white cat. Riku holding a baby? Riku alone on the beach with his board looking at the sunset.

"Need some help?" Roxas noticed that Riku was trying to drag something from under the bed.

"I got it." He dragged out what looked like an old military trunk that barely fit under the bed. Riku popped the lock and opened it. Roxas sat down and stared. It was half full of plastic wrapped bricks of weed, a set of digital scales, a couple pipes, some lighters, maybe a dozen packs of brown, and a dozen baggies of blow. Roxas looked at Riku. Riku smiled, "High Rox?"

"I got hard just looking in this trunk, fuck yeah high." Roxas said as Riku took his shirt off and grabbed some other things from the trunk.

"Let's cook." Riku held out a box of hypodermic needles and Roxas smiled, and they proceeded to fix. For a while they lay on the floor watching the sheers dance around the room. Everything was moving like a broken film…

Riku was kissing him.

Roxas was laughing and crawling to the balcony.

They were fucking on the balcony.

They did some blow and fucked on the fluffy white bed.

They did more blow and fucked on the sofa, forgetting their game of Mario Kart.

 

They went into the Xemnas' rooms and put on Riku's mom's nightgowns to go downstairs and raid the huge kitchen because Riku’s kitchen wasn't stocked during school with anything but drinks. Marlene walked into the kitchen and stared at them, eating like Vikings and wearing expensive silk sleeping gowns. Riku flipped her off and Roxas grabbed his turkey leg and proceeded to molest it with his tongue. She stomped away as they laughed, and waited for them to finish.

Riku sniffed and laughed. "Come on baby, I wanna carve." They hit the beach in the in their gowns absolutely obliterated. Riku’s black gown stopped right above his knees, while Roxas’ dark green one was a bit shorter. They were carrying boards and bottles of liquor.

"Rikuuuuu!!!!" They both turned to see three surfers that they hadn't noticed before. Roxas thought it was the girl and guy from the pic and one more person.

Riku grinned like only a stoner can and bellowed "Oleeeeette!!" That was followed by a shriek from the girl and the three broke into a run toward them. Riku lit a joint that he had over his ear and passed it to Roxas. "These three used to surf with me. They're cool."

There was the brunette girl and the blonde guy from the pic, and another blonde who looked kinda stoned.

"Olette, Hayner, Snow, this is Roxas Strife- he's from Costa. Rox meet Olette, Snow, and Hayner." Riku hugged Hayner who looked _like he was gonna shit his fucking spleen at seeing Riku_ , Roxas thought.

"Nice gowns, guys" Olette giggled.

"You like?" Roxas laughed.

"I liiike!" She shrieked with laughter as Roxas struck a pose. Riku offered them smoke and they partook, then they all grabbed their boards and paddled out.

 

Sitting on the water, waiting on a decent set, Roxas couldn't take his eyes off Riku. The wet clingy black silk stuck to his skin, the gown hiked up so he could be comfortable, his silver hair reflecting the sun: he was unreal.

Too soon his attention was pulled away by Hayner. "So Roxas you're from Costa, cool. You meet Riku at school?"

"Yeah. I um... he's well... I met him at school yeah." Roxas giggled.

Hayner laughed "You're really fucked up, yanno."

"I know. It's a beautiful thing, man." Roxas laughed which triggered Riku and the others.

"This one's mine!" Snow paddled away.

"How long you guys gonna be here?" Olette asked, eyeing Roxas' wet gown.

"Donno for sure. We'll be here at least a week. But school, yanno." Riku said also eyeing Roxas.

"This is me!" Hayner paddled away.

"He's pretty, Riku." Olette said with a smile that made Roxas feel like a piece of meat. He giggled.

Riku sniffed and grinned, "He's fuckin beautiful."

Olette looked a little surprised. "Do you share this one?"

"Nope!" Riku said as he paddled away.

Olette and Roxas watched him as far as they could before the wave curled over him.

Olette turned to him. "I don't know you Roxas, or how you and Riku are together. But you need to know some things. He's broken but he's a miracle … and he's not a toy."

Roxas looked at her with respect and nodded. "You left out one thing."

She smiled, knowing that he understood that she was just looking out for Riku. "What's that?"

Roxas smirked, "He's mine." and paddled away grinning. He heard her laughing and then yell, "Show us what you got, Costa!!"

  


Later they were all lying on the beach by a roaring fire. Snow had brought some beer and Riku and Roxas were still in their now dry nightgowns. They all laughed at the pics Snow had taken of them surfing in the sleepwear and he swore he was going to submit them to some websites.

As the fire blazed, Roxas was stretched out on his back with Riku’s head resting on his belly. Snow was lying on his board asleep and snoring. Hayner and Olette were sitting on their boards drinking the liquor that they had carried down that afternoon.

“So Riku, how long have you been with Foxy Roxy.” Olette asked, making Riku giggle at the nick name.

“Since right after I started TU, really. We kept it quiet until recently though.”

Olette looked shocked then squealed, “He’s that guy!! He’s the guy, Hayner!”

Riku covered his face and Roxas perked up, totally confused. Hayner was laughing, “I remember!”

Roxas laughed with them and he didn’t even know why but even Riku was laughing behind his hands.

“Somebody tell me what we’re laughing about, please” Roxas cackled.

Hayner hacked out the story for Roxas, “Lover boy here calls up Olette like a month into fall semester last year. We were out here with some other people and figured he was needin a trip sitter since he was new to TU, so she put him on speaker. Riku is a true fuckin original when he’s stoned, case in point- he had you surfing in a nightgown, anyways he starts gushing about this angel. He was absolutely ripped!” Hayner doubled over with laughter as did Olette.

“After a while we figured out he was talkin bout a real person! Olette! Ooo, hahahaha! Olette said, ‘Imma take him off speaker guys’ and we were all like ‘Nooooo!!!!!’ so she didn’t! He starts tellin her that he’s in love with you and how you were the most beautiful boy he’d ever seen! THEN he starts trippin about you bein an angel and said somethin about fuckin you after you two banged some Boy! I swear to god we all thought he was jackin off on the phone!” Hayner was hysterical and Olette was holding her sides.

Riku still had his face covered and yelled, “I waaas!!!!” There was no turning back after that. They all laughed until they were exhausted or crying.


	25. NEW THING

NEW THING

  


Tuesday brought more of the same at TU. The only joy Sora got that day was watching Professor Saix's face when they walked in without Roxas. It upset his entire scheme. They sat in their assigned seats but left an empty for Roxas. Halfway through class Saix had to excuse himself for a short break and Sora took the opportunity to slip behind the desk. He picked up the orderly box of candies, put his hand over the top, and shook it vigorously.

Grinning like a fiend, he sat down and waited for the fireworks. Saix came back to class straightening his tie, took one look at the candy and dismissed class early. It would’ve made Sora feel a bit better if he had just had a meltdown right there _. He held it together_ , Sora thought, _time to up my game again._

  


Vanitas sat down at the caf to eat his bacon burger and fries, hoping he didn't have a repeat of the previous attempt to have a communal meal. A tray plopped down beside his and he glanced up to see two long legs taking a seat. "Hi, mind if I join?" said Axel. _Damn he looks good enough to eat_.

Vanitas smiled and said "Not at all _." You can join me anytime._

"Sorry about the other day." Axel said, picking at his fries. _God I wanna kiss him right here so everyone can see_.

"Not your fault." Vanitas mumbled around his food. _I wish he would kiss me right here in front of all these assholes._

"People suck." Axel said chewing. _I wonder if he'd be pissed if I did it._

"Yep." Vanitas agreed. _I wonder if he'd be pissed...He did give me permission…_

Vanitas looked at Axel as he drank his energy drink and Axel chewed the inside of his lip and waited for Vanitas to speak. Instead of speaking, he leaned over, put his hand on Axel's cheek, and kissed him. There was that shock again, and Axel was hooked. He put a hand on Vanitas' back as he turned into the kiss and then nipped his lip before he pulled away smiling.

The caf was reasonably quiet and then the chatter started back up to a normal level, so they finished their lunches and left together.

Outside Vanitas checked his watch. "Got class. You wanna come over later?"

"Absolutely, can I call it a date?" Axel teased.

“Absolutely.” Vanitas grinned mimicking Axel’s response. Another quick kiss and they parted ways. Vanitas was satisfied there would be no more table flipping. He was also satisfied that voodoo was real.

  


Sora was surprised when Aerith showed up on Wednesday afternoon. She looked tired and the coat she was wearing was looking pretty shabby. He invited her in and told her to make herself at home while he made dinner. She sat and muttered to herself until Vanitas walked in. "Hi Ms. Aerith." He said. "How are you?"

She looked at him warily. "Are you real?" She asked nervously.

"Yes ma'am" he said as he walked over to her and held out his hand so she could have proof.

She touched his hand and smiled, then cocked her head as if she was listening to someone. "Are you the brother with the dragons?"

"I am" Vanitas said and sat down with her.

"You're very handsome. All you boys are... Cloud is lucky...yes he is..."

Vanitas assumed that Sora had told her their dad's name so he didn't question if she knew him or how.

"Tifa would be so proud...you have her hair as well as her temper I'd guess..." She whispered something he couldn't understand.

Vanitas was speechless, looking down at his bruised knuckles. "You knew our mom?"

"Yes...She was...a bar and....the orphans...but she didn't...She couldn't...and then...oh..." Tears came to her eyes and Vanitas stared in disbelief until he felt one slide down his cheek. He stood abruptly and went upstairs.

Sora popped out of the kitchen to get Aerith for dinner. "Where did Vani go? Did you have a good chat?"

She smiled sadly, "I think I made him cry."

Sora looked amused. "Vani never cries." They went to eat their dinner.

  


Axel headed to Strife House with no expectations. He knew what it was like to be away from a twin and he was prepared to deal with whatever they had going on. Before he got to the house he saw Ven skating. He waved, then went inside to find Sora entertaining a homeless lady. He waved to them as well and continued upstairs.

Vanitas was in his room sitting at his laptop and Axel walked up behind him, singing softly " _I think I'm gonna play with some free livin lads down the street aways_..."

Vanitas smiled as he turned and stood. "You've been with Dem too long."

"Not true" Axel rested his hands on Vanitas' waist. "He's good for me. He keeps me grounded…plus he's a friend of Reno's so that kinda makes him honorary family."

Vanitas chuckled. "Your brother is a case." He leaned into Axel who was merely awaiting cues, and kissed him hungrily. It was like drugs. He couldn't wait to get past protocol so he could kiss him without seeming like a pervert.

Axel squeezed his hips and pulled him closer. "I've been waitin for this since lunch." he purred into his ear.

Vanitas felt adventurous so he kissed Axel's neck softly. Axel hissed so Vanitas did it again. He found that he liked the way Axel's skin tasted, so he proceeded to lick and suck the spot under his ear. Axel tightened his grip on Vanitas and leaned his head over giving him better access. As he stood patiently, he felt him slip his hands around to his back.

Exploring more smooth skin, he kissed Axel's throat and bit down gently. Axel moaned and began to whisper, “Ave María, grátia plena, Dóminus tecum. Benedícta tu in muliéribus, et benedíctus fructus ventris tui, Iesus. Sancta María, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatóribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostræ. Amen.”

Vanitas had felt him tremble as he bit his throat so he did it again to see if he would react the same way. He didn't. This time Axel ‘hmmmm’ed softly and ground against him. Vanitas liked that.

Axel had his head back and his hands on the back of Vanitas’ waist so the raven decided to bite him one more time, just to see what he would do. He slid his hands down Axel’s back as he bit and sucked his throat. Axel made a low growl and picked Vanitas up by his ass and walked to the bed and sat down, pushing his legs apart with his knees as he sat. Vanitas looked at him and chewed on one of his lip rings.

Axel shook his head and closed his eyes to try and unsee the image lest he embarrass himself, but then he felt hands on either side of his neck and then kiss on his lips.

"You liked that?" Vanitas asked.

Axel looked down at his lap and back up at Vanitas eyes. Vanitas said simply and honestly. "I, um… yes." He was dying inside. He wanted to show Vanitas how good it could feel but he didn't want to rush it. He wanted to eat him alive but cannibalism was a sin. He wanted... _shit he ...he's ...my_ _eeeaaarrr_. In his mind, Axel was like a horror movie scream queen.

Vanitas whispered into his ear. "Do you like this too?"

Axel cupped his ass and pulled him tight against his painful erection. "Yes, I… Vani. D-do whatever you want." Inside Axel was kicking his own ass _. Why did you say that? You know he’s a virgin. You know_ _you’re not gonna fuck him yet. Do you like blue balls?_

Vanitas' mind wandered to all the things he liked... ‘ _Well he did say I could’_ he thought before kissing Axel and rolling his hips against him. Axel moaned out loud and gripped his hips. Fuck bein quiet- he was trying to focus on not busting in his pants like a teenager. Vanitas seemed to like that so he did it again and made Axel pant. He combined that with the neck biting and that was the line.

Axel lay back on the bed still holding Vanitas’ hips. _He licked those goddamn lip rings and took his shirt off_. _Fuck! fuck! fuck!_ Axel wanted to take this slow.

"You sure this is ok?" Vanitas asked.

Axel could only nod vigorously and Vanitas smiled as he tugged Axel’s shirt up. _‘Nooooo!!!’_ Axel screamed in his head, but then he pulled the shirt off anyway. Vanitas ran his hands all over Axel’s chest. His mouth, open slightly _biting those fucking rings_ now and then. He leaned down to kiss him and as bare skin touched bare skin, he couldn't breathe.

He grabbed Vanitas’ hips and ground against him but this time it was Vanitas who moaned. Axel’s mind froze but his body was on auto-pilot. He wanted that. He wanted THAT. Axel kissed him again and hissed "I wanna touch you Vani. Can I?"

Vanitas nodded and sat up on his lap, allowing him to stroke his chest and stomach, and then tug at the button on his jeans. Vanitas nodded slightly so he popped the buttons with a weak smile. Vanitas looked down at himself and then lifted his eyes to meet Axel’s gaze.

"Don’t be embarrassed" Axel said and Vanitas bit..."Don't bite that lip!" Axel scolded quickly.

Vanitas looked a little confused but then smirked. He didn't bite the lip. Instead he stood and stripped, and sat right back down on Axel who was currently hissing out Hail Marys… _Vanitas is sitting on me naked._ _Faaaaack!!!_ Axel screeched inside his head.

Vanitas looked down into round green eyes and said, "Is this really ok? "

Axel nodded vigorously again.

“I feel like I’m making you totally uncomfortable right now.”

Axel made a ridiculous face and shook his head equally vigorously.

Vanitas still looked a little nervous so Axel started by touching his thighs and he seemed to feel more at ease immediately. The dragon tattoos moved with every twitch of his muscles and the ends of the tattoos swirled down to his narrow hips. Axel’s thumbs pressed along the inside of his thighs as he moved his hands higher. Vanitas’ cock was leaking and he reached to touch himself but Axel stopped him. "Can I?"

He nodded a bit apprehensively and Axel wrapped his long fingers around his erection, stroking and smearing the come from the tip making Vanitas moan and drop his head back.

Other than reciting prayers, the redhead’s brain would randomly scream, and his body wanted that fucking throat. Vanitas leaned back with his palms on Axel’s thighs, allowing him to continue his ministrations as much as to avoid letting him see how embarrassed he was.

"So beautiful" Axel said. He put his other hand under Vanitas balls and lightly touched his entrance.

Vanitas moaned and his hips jerked. "Axel I ..."

“Look at me, Vanitas. I wanna watch you." Axel sounded almost desperate, so Vanitas abandoned the ceiling Gods and looked at him, his face full of passion and a tiny bit of apprehension.

"Come for me, Vani." Axel said as he touched him again. He felt Vanitas grip his thighs. He felt his hips buck into his touch. He felt warm wet come running down his hand as he stroked out the last drop, but the only thing he saw was that face, those white teeth biting silver lip rings.

Axel knew that image would be burned into his psyche for eternity _. Goddamn tattoos and_ _piercings. He’s too fucking hot for his own_ _good,_ Axel thought. He was mentally cursing the Strife family name and spitting thrice.

Vanitas leaned down and kissed him gently then lay down on his chest. “That was embarrassing.”

Axel cuddled him after wiping his hands off on his discarded shirt, “That was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. You don’t ever have to be embarrassed with me.”

 

As he lay listening to the quiet of the old house, he could hear Vanitas’ teeth clicking on those evil piercings. His eye twitched.

“So tired.” Vanitas murmured as Axel realized he was already falling asleep.

“Imma go and let you sleep okay, baby?”

“Hmmm… we didn have dinner and mm not a baby.” Vanitas sighed as Axel deposited him onto the bed and tucked him in.

“We’ll have dinner another day. Goodnight.” Axel kissed his head, his nose, his lips, and then left him. He said goodbye to Sora and Ventus on his way out and began to sing as soon as he hit the sidewalk, swinging his soiled shirt. “I see skies of blue, and clouds of white, the bright blessed day, the dark sacred night… And I think to myself…what a wonderful world.”

  
  


*The lyrics Axel sings to Vanitas are from Sleepy House by Blind Melon and the song he sings at the end is What a Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong.


	26. CLOUD'S SHINING MOMENT

CLOUD’S SHINING MOMENT

  


Cloud had driven away from Twilight U an emotional wreck. He needed to get somewhere where he could think. He needed to get to a place where he could not be disturbed…he couldn’t deal with the right here, right now. _Roxas is on heroin, Sora is with a Sephiroth clone, and Vanitas is probably a cesspool of STD’s, and Ventus…what the fuck? Too much…it’s all too much right now…I need to get away._

Speeding around the back side of the quarry that marked the edge of campus, he thought of Reno and the conversation they had earlier. He had planted cameras and microphones on him so that he could snoop. _He should have told me…he should have asked me…I shouldn’t even be with him, he’s too young… oh Goddess…I need to be far away from all of this right now. Roxas has been hanging onto sobriety by a thread for years…he will survive until I can clear my head…besides, he has Mr. Over-achiever, super-shrink to help him deal._

_That kid…that SephiKu…he was the same kid who cut his wrists and nearly died, the Dean’s kid…I knew that sounded familiar. I think I read that he was a heroin addict as well…I wonder if he and Roxas get high together…maybe he’s Roxas’ dealer…oh God what of Sora is using too…I need to be somewhere else…hell, I need to be someONE else._

After his third pass by the old limestone quarry, he realized he had been driving in a circuit around the campus. Whipping his car off the road near the hiking trails and obstacle course, he leapt out, leaving the motor running and ran wide-open toward the edge of the quarry with no intention of stopping.

_That won’t kill you, dumbass…it’ll only get you wet_. That voice…Cloud stopped a couple feet short of the sheer drop off and screamed at the top of his lungs. Looking down into the murky water, he immediately had a flashback of another cliff, years ago…when he had another reason to lose his shit. He screamed again.

Flopping gracelessly on the ground, he swung his legs over and sat with his elbows on his knees, grumbling and cursing to himself. _What the fuck do I do now? Put Rox in rehab again and watch him unravel as soon as he hits the streets or try to get him away from that lifestyle…but how?_

Cloud lay back on the grass and swung his feet and cried _. I don’t have all the answers…why should I have all he answers? I’m just a man…_

Exhausted, he fell into a fitful sleep right there on the precipice. Dreaming of Zack and Roxas and Sephiroth, he tossed and cried and cursed in his sleep. Soon he was awakened by that annoying laugh... Sephiroth. “ _Ahhahahaha! Wake up Cloud!_ ”

Sitting up abruptly was the very worst thing he could have done. His ass was barely on the ground and the rest of his lower self was dangling over the edge of the quarry. Cloud squawked and grabbed for kudzu or anything available to try and keep himself from sliding off into the water thirty feet below. Digging his heels in, he managed to crab walk back from the edge whispering, “I don’t wanna get wet, I don’t wanna get wet…”

When he was safe, he turned and crawled to his car. “Laugh, you asshole…if you were here right now, I’d punch you in the face. If you were here…if you were…”

Dusting himself off and getting back into his car, he knew exactly where he wanted to go to decompress. Driving away from Twilight Town, he looked at his phone once and then turned it off and headed for Nibelheim. _They say home is where the heart is_.

  


He drove day and night, stopping at seedy diners and truck stops to eat and drink coffee, but when he neared his hometown, he pulled into an all-night liquor store and cleaned them out of whiskey. The air smelled different in the mountains and he didn’t think he would ever stop missing it. He loved living in Costa and it was home as long as the boys were there…but this…the cool air, the smell of trees…this was home to him.

Right before he would pass a sign that said _Nibelheim town limit_ , he pulled into an overgrown yard where a broken down old shack sat with only half a roof. “Oh yeah…” he said as he unloaded all his booze and stacked it in a dry corner inside.

From the looks of the place, no one had been there since he left many years ago… _before his boys were born…before Tifa died…that bitch_ …he sat down to drink.  

  


Singing loudly, he fell over and lay on the dusty floor. He had frightened all the rats away days before and was now going about at night disturbing the other wildlife…when he could walk that is. “I never meant to faaaaade awaaaayyy!” he sang, cried, puked, drank more…it was a vicious cycle. Cloud was bombed out of reality and that’s exactly what he had set out to do.

Stumbling outside to piss, he looked up at the moon and then flipped it off. “Fuck you…fuck yooouuu.”

Nearby, sitting in a tree was a red-caped watcher snickering at the spectacle and remembering the last time the blonde had holed up there. He would let him get it out of his system before he dragged him back to his life…but he would eventually do that. _What he needs is a kick in the ass…those boys love him as much as he loves them…he should be there with them._

A shot rang out, getting Vincent’s attention. _Holy shit! He doesn’t have a sword to swing around this time…but he has that fucking Beretta that he keeps in his car. I just hope he runs out of ammo quick._ Vincent watched as Cloud checked his clip and then staggered off in to the woods to shoot things, whooping and calling Nibel dragons as if they were dogs.

Shaking his head Vincent followed along through the treetops…but not too closely as he may become a target, feeling much like the Cheshire cat from Wonderland.

Morning found Cloud asleep by a stream, cold and hungry. Looking around groggily, he wondered why he didn’t have a shirt on and then remembered why he was there to begin with. “I’ve failed my kids…I am useless.” He couldn’t get back to the alcohol fast enough.

  


Another week passed and Cloud showed up at a bar in Nibelheim around closing time, where he was recognized immediately. "Mr. Strife! What can we do for you?" The old barkeep asked as he smiled at the clearly already wasted savior of the planet.

"I need a drink...and some food." Cloud mumbled and flopped onto the bar stool.

"Haven't seen you around here in many a year...how's life treatin ya?"

"Like ass...can I get some loaded fries and a beer...like a big, giant beer?" Cloud slurred.

"Sure, sure." The old man said as he pulled a huge mug from under the bar and began to fill it. "Hey Joe, cook this guy up some fries." He yelled toward the kitchen and Cloud thought that he reminded him a lot of his first CO…but he had been dead for many years.

 

He drank his beer and waited on his fries, and then about halfway through the vat and the food, someone sat down at the bar next to him. "Well, well...if it isn't Cloud fuckin Strife. Long time-no see."

Cloud didn't even look up. "Do _not_ fuck with me."

"I just said hi...asshole." the other patron grumbled.

"Hi." Cloud said continuing to eat his greasy fare thinkin the man’s voice sounded vaguely familiar but too country, almost comical.

"So what brings you back?" The stranger asked.

"Life...whadda you care?" Cloud cut a glance in the man's direction and almost choked on his food.

A chuckle rattled from the man's chest and he tugged off his black hood to reveal a silver ponytail and flashy green eyes. "Good to see you, Cloud."

"Fuck you...You're dead!" Cloud scooted off his stool and began to back away. The hooded man laughed at his fear but didn't try to come after him.

Cloud looked at his smile and almost as if he was mesmerized, stopped his retreat.  "Seph...are y-you really here or is this a dream?"

"This isn't a dream and I'm not really here." Sephiroth said, still smiling.

"Cut the shit. What are you a fucking clone or something?"

"We can talk when you’re done…sit down and eat your fingers."

Cloud looked at his plate to find a pile of bloody, half-eaten, severed fingers. “Fuck! Stop that!”

“I didn’t cut them off and make you eat them.” Sephiroth chuckled.

“Go to hell.” Cloud grumbled, still staring at the fingers and willing them to turn back into fries so he could finish…he was really hungry.

“Just got back…it was hot.”

“Fuck you.”

“Eat.”

“I’m not eating those things!”

“Why not? You’ve already eaten half…you should clear your plate.” Sephiroth chided, mimicking Cloud’s mother for a moment.

Rubbing his eyes, he went back to take his seat by Sephiroth. Sitting down cautiously, he realized his fries were fries again and he began shoveling them down, ignoring the specter at his side completely.

Once he felt full, he pushed the plate away and called the bartender to bring him another beer.

“You should eat that, Cloud. Don’t you want to grow up big and strong?”

Looking to where the ghost of Sephiroth had been sitting, he was nearly nose to nose with his mother. Her face was horribly burned and she was trying to smile at him sweetly but it looked more like a hideous snarl.

“AAaaahhhh!” he scrambled off his stool again and ran for the door. Hopping off her stool she pursued him to the door of the bar but when he stumbled out into the street, she didn’t follow. Falling soundly onto his drunk ass, Cloud began to scream and cry. “Fuck this place!”

“Shut up Strife, before you call down a dragon to eat us both.” Sephiroth scolded as Cloud fell silent and rolled to his side to stare at dusty boots.

“Get your ass up, SOLDIER and get back to your family. They need you and you are doing no one a service by being here…least of all your poor liver.” Sephiroth said as he reached for Cloud’s hand.

“You can’t help me up…dumbass…you’re a ghost.”

“I can do what the fuck ever I want…I am Sephiroth.”

Cloud reached for the black gloved hand and was surprised when he was hoisted up with ease. “Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why can you come and see me whenever _you_ want but you’re never around when _I_ want you?”

Sephiroth hoisted him over his shoulder and turned to walk toward his hideout. “I wasn’t aware that there were times like those…besides…I may not be here when you want me, but I will always be here when you need me.”

“So you’re like Jesus now?”

Sephiroth cackled. “Pfft! I’ve always been like Jesus.”

Cloud laughed hysterically while dangling over the tall man’s shoulder…then he began to sing… “Jesus loves me, this I know!”

  
The next morning, he remembered everything so he started for the old bar, feeling bad that he had stiffed the bartender by leaving with Sephiroth…or his ghost…or whatever. Taking the same route he had taken the night before he stopped right in front of the bar. There were no windows in the building and the door was broken off the hinges. It looked abandoned in a way that didn’t happen overnight. Stepping inside, he was stunned to find that there was a tree growing through the floorboards and thick dust covering everything. “It must have been a dream.” He mumbled to himself.

Shaking his head and turning to go, he didn’t notice the single barstool that was free from dust and the empty plate on the bar where he had sat.

  
  


Reno was not a patient man. He failed to see what could be gained by waiting on things. You either got it or you didn't. Win or lose. Live or die. This sometimes caused him problems but more times than not he came out on top. He was still alive after all. That's what led him here.

It had been a long week of watching and waiting on this guy Xaldin to show his face. He had an Oktoberfest party to attend and he wasn't gonna miss that shit. So he took it upon himself to ditch the plan, disable his wire, and drag this trashy bastard into an alley. Oldest trick in the book: Reno followed him to the bathroom and dragged his ass out back.

He had his custom chrome 1911 with the red grip that had his name engraved on it, laying on the guy's nose when his phone rang.

It was Cloud's ringtone so he wanted to take it. "Excuse me, ya piece a shit. This is important yo." Keeping the gun on the dealer’s nose, he answered his phone with his left hand. "Hey Blondie. It's kind of a bad time. Can I call ya back?" Silence.

Xaldin tried to move and Reno cracked him across the bridge of his nose with the gun, subduing him again. "Ok I get it but...." More silence.

Xaldin watched the insane Turk argue on the phone. He wished whoever was on the other end would say something to make this guy happy or careless. He would take either. "Goddammit, whatever yo. I'm tryna earn my fuckin bread an butter right now, so just fuckin sit there an stew. Lemme know if you decide ta go ta Destiny or if ya want me to. Yes, his ass will come back, willin or not. Cause that's my fuckin job, yo. Alright."

Reno hung up the phone and looked at Xaldin. "You're in luck today yo."

Xaldin was visibly relieved as Reno put away his phone and lit a smoke. "That was my significant other just now yo, puttin us on hold cause he's got kid drama. To top that, he wants me to go hundreds of miles to drag said kid back home."

Reno shook his head and smoked as Xaldin's eyes stayed trained on the gun he was waving as he talked. "The best part is, that this whole thing started because of lil ole you."

Xaldin looked confused and was starting to tense up again.

"See this kid is a junkie but he's also a fucking angel and the spitting goddamn image of his dad, yo. And that breaks my fuckin heart. So! Since you brought all this on, I wanna reward ya." Reno threw his cigarette down, shot Xaldin once in the center of his forehead, and walked away.

He was almost out of the alley when some of Xaldin's guys showed up but since he had the element of surprise, he just decided to kill them all. Looking around at the bodies, he stuck his gun in his pants and strolled away whistling What a Wonderful World.

  
  


"Riku come out baby." Roxas pleaded. By Thursday Riku was bugging so bad he had hid under the bed and wouldn't come out. Roxas had nodded off trying to coax him out and woke up to find him still under there. He had puked and probably pissed a couple times too but still refused to come out.

Roxas knew he needed to get straight so he could help Riku. He was supposed to see his lawyer Friday morning and he couldn’t miss that because he was strung out or dead. Formulating a plan, Roxas went downstairs and got some chocolate cake icing- _Junkies love sweets_ \- and crushed up some Ativan before going back upstairs to drug his boyfriend.

They had spent the whole week staying wasted, surfing, and fucking. Riku had been using so much coke that Roxas had to stay in the theater with him one night for fear that he would fall off the balcony or jump. He had fared pretty well until he got out of his mind on blow and had a fucking meltdown in his bathroom, crying and clawing at his arms. Roxas was so fucked up that he could only watch and be horrified. They had to get their shit together.

He went back into the bedroom and lay on the floor to look under the bed. Riku was gone. _How the fuck am I supposed to find him in this goddamn mausoleum._ He checked the balcony first, then the downstairs. He asked bitchy ass Marlene who actually looked concerned. She was probably thinking about what the last housekeeper found when he went missing so she started helping with the search.

Roxas soon began feeling sick. He grabbed a bottle of water and thought about the situation. Riku wasn't like anyone he had ever met. He had no idea... _the ocean_. Roxas bolted out the back and ran down the beach in his boxers. There he was. Laying on his board completely naked. He had paddled out past the swell and lay down and was just drifting.

Roxas grabbed a board and paddled out. By the time he reached him, he was exhausted so he sat for a minute watching his broken angel. Riku's eyes were open a little but he wasn't present. Roxas could see his pulse throbbing in his neck as he fished around for his strap to tow him in.

On the beach he dragged Riku and the board to the dry and rolled him over. He could see his breath puffing the sand and frightened as he was, he picked up the bottle of water he had dropped and poured it over Riku’s face. He blinked and seemed to focus and then his eyes rolled up to Roxas, and he closed them.

"Noo." Roxas whined and started shaking him. "You gotta get up Riku. Come inside with me."

Riku nodded and dragged up to his hands and knees and crawled until Roxas could wrestle him to his feet. They went inside and took the elevator up. Marlene was standing in Riku’s bedroom staring at the chaos. She looked at Roxas and the naked Riku and turned to leave. "I'm glad he's not dead." was all she said.

  


Roxas took him to the shower and sat him down to strip off his own boxers. Starting the water and stepping into the room-sized shower, he thought of the night Riku had done this for him. He washed him and dried him and swaddled him in a blanket on the sofa. Pulling the dirty covers off the bed to make a pile, he decided to let that bitch earn her keep and abandoned his task. He fed Riku some of the icing and set the alarm on his phone, and they slept.

When he woke up Friday, his alarm had been turned off and Riku was gone again but this time there was a note.

_Rox, Thank you for everything baby. I’m going to do the lawyer thing. I made you breakfast. Eat. Be back soon. I love you._

_XXX Riku_

Roxas didn’t realize how hungry he was until he tasted the food. As he finished the pancakes and fruit he heard the door open and close. Turning to greet his lover, he froze. When he saw the business suit he nearly panicked but then the silver ponytail caught his eye.

Riku hung up his jacket and started to loosen his tie as he walked in his direction. He must've expected Roxas to still be sleeping because he didn't see him peeking over the back of the sofa. He was almost beside it when he saw blue eyes watching him and his face split into a huge smile, dimples for days. He glanced at the empty plates, satisfied, and then tackled Roxas, covering him with kisses.

"Hi." Roxas leered. "You look soo good in that suit. Want some help getting out of it?"

Riku giggled. "Yeah, get me outta this thing."

Roxas crawled onto his lap and started with his tie. "So how did it go?"

"It was pretty simple. There were a couple other people there who had to be notified of the dispersing of the funds. Rufus fucking ShinRa was there. Can you believe that shit?"

"Who else?" Roxas was unbuttoning his shirt. "Any long-lost relatives?"

"As a matter of fact, there was. Sephiroth's biological father was there. He told me that didn't know he was his father until he died, and of course no one knew he had a kid. Really sad. But ya know what's a strange coincidence? His last name’s Valentine too."

Roxas’ eye flicked. _Couldn't be. Nope_. He let Riku continue. "He was really cool after he calmed down. When I walked into the room initially, everyone but the lawyer looked like they were having PTSD episodes. It was fucked up. Anyways, I signed all the paperwork and we're free to leave now. I have everything I need and I called movers on the way home to put all my shit in storage til I get a place. I called Denzel and he’s takin the trees. Xemnas wasn't there but his lawyer was. He had asked that I change my last name because I had been linked to Xemnas in public but since Vincent was there with proof that he's my grandfather, the name change was thrown out..."

 

Roxas had stopped unfastening his pants and stared blankly.

"What's wrong Rox? Nothing's gonna change..."

Roxas mumbled "Everything's gonna change."

Riku pulled him back and looked into his eyes. "What?"

Roxas looked like a fish remembering what Xemnas had said to him in his office about their fathers.

"Speak it Rox, you're freakin me out." Riku waited.

Roxas stood and began to pace. "Your grandfather, tall, scary, vampire lookin fucker?"

Riku shrugged as he stood to finish taking off his pants. "Vampire in a suit, I guess. What's yer point?"

Roxas slapped his forehead and grabbed his phone flipping through media files. "Is this him?" he squeaked.

Riku looked at the pic and grabbed the phone gawking. "It's him! But how...He has fangs, really?"

Roxas stared in awe that _THAT is the detail Riku gleaned from this entire conversation._ "That's my dad's friend that helped raise us. I've always called him Uncle Vince. He’s been to our House at school before…"

Riku stared at the pic of Vincent and Roxas laughing and felt lonely in the moment. Someone keeping secrets had deprived him of _this. This could’ve been me_.

"He told me that he was unaware of my existence." Riku said flatly, passing the phone back. "He said that he only found out Sephiroth was his son after the autopsy."

Roxas took Riku’s hands, "If he said that, then it’s true. That motherfucker is incapable of lying." Riku nodded as Roxas continued. "But there’s somethin else… my dad was the cadet who killed your father, Riku." Roxas looked at him pleadingly.

Riku recalled the day he had met Cloud. _He looked mortified and then angry_. Maybe he looked more like Sephiroth than he thought. He hadn’t been straight long enough to figure shit out and now he had all this to deal with, too. He looked at his angel and silently thanked that god that Axel prayed to all the time.

"This doesn't change anything between us Rox. I love you. I will love you forever."


	27. CLOUD'S RETURN

CLOUD’S RETURN

  


Friday morning looked promising to Ventus. Oktoberfest weekend had arrived, his early class was cancelled, and Sora was wearing a woman’s coat rolling around in the yard. He stepped outside. “Sora…why?”

Sora sat up with leaves poking out of his wild hair. “Cause Aerith needs a new coat, but she won’t take a new coat. So I bought a new coat and I’m making it look less new…lesser new…less newer…”

Ventus walked back inside to drink his coffee while he decided how to approach Sora about having his meds adjusted, maybe…possibly, then he began to hum Dark Side of the Moon. He hadn’t talked to Demyx in a couple days and he was looking forward to seeing him this weekend. He hoped that everything would be ok with them now that he was seeing Aqua. The thought of her brought a smile to his face but then Vanitas came through to take it away. “Dad just text me. He’s on his way here. Said he talked to Uncle Vince and there’s something he wants to talk to us about.”

“But Roxas isn’t here. Why doesn’t he just wait until Rox gets back, and tell us then,” Ventus grumbled.

“I asked the same thing and he said Roxas probably already knows, so…what the fuck ever that means.” Vanitas bitched as he poured his coffee.

Ventus grunted and they heard Sora squealing in the yard. “Dad’s here.” They said in unison.

Before they could get out of the kitchen, they heard Sora screaming bloody murder.

“Uncle Vince is with him!”

  


Vincent walked into the Strife house with Sora (still in the coat) over his shoulder, followed by Cloud. There were hugs and greetings all around before Cloud ushered them all into the den to talk.

“Guys, I know that over the years we’ve talked a little about my work, but not in any great detail. Recently some things have come to light that I feel like you should hear from me, and not the media.”

They all listened Except Sora and Vincent who were playing… until Cloud cleared his throat, and continued. “You all have heard of General Sephiroth, I’m sure.”

They nodded and Sora said, “That was the general who killed our grandparents right?”

Vincent and Cloud both winced. “Yes Sora, but I explained to you that he had a psychological problem that caused him to do that. Remember? He didn’t set out to kill anyone, well any _innocent_ one anyways. The facts are he was a great general and I was a cadet under his command.”

Vanitas looked excited as he recalled when he was little and used to pretend to be Sephiroth- running around with a stick, destroying sandcastles and various shrubs. He had seen his picture on the news once and thought he looked like a super hero. He remembered that his dad made him stop playing that while he was home, but Uncle Vince let him do it all the time. Uncle Vince was cool like that.

Cloud nodded to Vincent who looked at the boys and sighed before he began. “After his death, I was informed that he was my biological son. I deeply regret that I missed so much. I think of him often." He looked at Vanitas “and I hope that you boys don’t think ill of me for not telling you long ago. Maybe I could have made a difference in his life, maybe not…but that’s not why we’re here today. Any questions so far?”

Vanitas spoke up, “When I was a kid and pretended to be Sephiroth, did it upset you?”

Vincent was touched that all Vanitas wanted to ask was about his feelings and not the matter at hand. “It made me proud, Vanitas. He was my son and watching you emulate him made me hope that someday people would see the good that he did before…”

Vanitas nodded and Vincent continued. “I’ve recently been made aware that he also had a son. The pregnancy was hidden by him and the mother but she was institutionalized shortly after Sephiroth’s death, at which time she was still pregnant.”

At this point the boys all caught their breath. “I have a question,” blurted Sora. “Did Sephiroth know that you were his dad?”

“No, he was told that a scientist at ShinRa was his father and believed it his entire life. That scientist knew the truth and engineered the lie to control Sephiroth.” They gasped in unison again and Cloud could see Sephiroth being raised to hero status with his kids right before his eyes.

“What an asshole!” snarled Vanitas.

“Language, Vani!” Cloud snapped.

“Well what happened to the scientist guy when you found out Sephiroth was your kid?” Ventus grilled Vincent. “Did you kick his ass?!” Cloud face-palmed.

“No Ventus, I didn’t kick his ass. Sephiroth had already killed him.” Vincent said solemnly.

“WOW!” said all the boys at once.

Cloud screeched, “OH COME ON GUYS! REALLY?!” How could they sit there acting like Seph was the coolest thing since sliced bread when he was the one who stopped his crazy ass?

 

They all looked at him, Vincent included. He calmed himself and spoke sedately, “We’re trying to tell you about Vincent’s _grandson_ , Sephiroth’s _son_. You guys can talk about all this killing and stuff after I’m gone.”

The boys quieted and Sora whispered, “I don’t see how you killed him when you can’t even talk about it. What’d ya do ‘nice’ him to death…jeez.”

Vincent grunted and turned his head away to keep from laughing outright.

“As I said before, Sephiroth’s son was born at the institution and from what I am told, his mother never recovered. I was also told that the doctors told her that the child had died so that she would mourn the loss and maybe move ahead with her treatment. Now that we know who she was we can check institutions until we find her or find record of her.”

“What about the baby? He’s grown now and just found out his dad was a famous general and a genocidal maniac. You said you met him right, Uncle Vince?”

“Yes Ventus, I met him this morning at a lawyer’s office. We had to go and square away his inheritance since he’s of age.” Vincent stopped because Sora had stood and walked away. “Sora?” Cloud said “Come here? Are you ok?”

“It’s Riku, isn’t it? He has your last name. He was upset before he left to go home and he said it was about his dad and I thought he meant Dean Mansex… but he didn’t say and then he left me and then Roxas said he was with Riku… and they had been together for a year or something …but I wondered why he fff…wondered why he was talkin ta me and he said it was a secret and Roxas didn’t want people ta know but he changed his mind when he saw us together and Riku said he loves Roxas and he’s sorry…he said he’s sorry.” Sora started to cry.

Vanitas ran to him and hugged him. “I’m sorry, Sora.”

“I don’t think I was in love with him or nothin but I just felt like there was somethin wrong with me.” Sora sniffled.

“There’s plenty wrong with you, Sor” Vanitas petted him, “but no reason why someone wouldn’t want to be with you. You just got caught in the middle and it’s not fair.”

 

Cloud was trying to process all that Sora had blurted as he remembered the text from Reno saying his kids needed him, and his old friend guilt came back with a vengeance. Vanitas brought Sora back over with everyone else and Cloud hugged him. “You’re amazing Sora, all of you are… and I suck as a dad most of the time. I’m sorry I ran off last week. Truth is I found out that Roxas is using heroin and I just couldn’t deal at that moment. I’m sorry I bailed on all of you. I love you guys more than anything and I hope you know that.”

“Rox was pretty trashed when you were here. Probably wasn’t hard to figure out, huh.” Ventus said to Cloud.

“Actually I didn’t know the extent of the problem until someone told me.” He shook his head. “I’m done keeping secrets from you guys. Too many people can get hurt.”

“Who told you?” asked Vanitas as he scanned the faces of his brothers for signs of guilt.

“Axel” Cloud said bluntly and they all stared in disbelief, then Sora and Ventus turned to Vanitas and winced.

“What?” Cloud said “What did I miss?”

“I’m seein Axel” Vanitas offered.

Cloud looked at Vincent who shrugged, “I would say something cliché about apples and trees but I don’t think it’s appropriate right now.”

Cloud’s face blazed and he snarked, “What do you mean by that? Is it because Rox looks just like me and he is with Seph’s mini-me, or is it because all my kids are bisexual?”

Everyone looked at Cloud as Vincent said, “Both.”

“I need a drink.” Cloud stalked off into the kitchen and raided his kids’ alcohol stash.

 

Vanitas turned to Ventus who looked at Sora who looked at Vincent who looked like the statue of a vampire. “Ask your dad. He said no more secrets.”

They clamored to the kitchen with a barrage of questions to find Cloud with a bottle of whiskey and a shot glass. He poured one and drank it, feeling their eyes on him like jellyfish tentacles.

“Why did Uncle Vince say that, Dad?” asked Sora.

“What did you mean about Riku and Roxas- did you mean it was like you and the general?” Ventus folded his arms across his chest. Cloud downed a shot.

“And what’s the deal about us all being bisexual? I know that cliché by the way about apples and trees!” Vanitas harped.

“Yeah and when Axel’s brother Reno was here, he called me Cloud one morning when he was half asleep and tried to play it off.” Ventus added with an accusatory stare. Cloud poured another shot and drained it.

“And plus, plus, plus how come you never dated, DAD?” Sora grilled him, flapping the arms of the ladies’ coat.

“Spill it.” Vanitas crossed his arms over his chest, making him look exactly like Ventus’ shadow..

A new voice rang from the doorway, “Yeah, spill it Dad.” Axel grinned and winked at Vanitas. Then Reno strolled in behind him smoking. “What I miss, yo?”

Cloud set the shot glass down and kept the bottle. “I need to sit for this.”

  
  


Roxas and Riku went downstairs to meet the movers. Riku showed them where the rooms were and gave them paperwork on where to store it. Marlene had cleaned it already and the trunk, he instructed them, was to be left in the center of the den area of the suite. He left a note for Xemnas and walked out to the beach to say goodbye to Snow, Olette and Hayner.

“So this is it. I can’t believe you’re moving away.” Hayner said sadly.

Riku nodded and shoved his hands into his pockets. Olette hugged him and kissed his face, making him smile. Snow hugged him and just nodded with tears in his eyes. “You’ll be back to visit right, little stoner dude?”

“Sure Snowman. Or maybe I’ll fly you guys out to see me, yeah?” Snow smiled and nodded. “We really need to get going, don’t wanna miss our flight but I just wanna say that I love you guys…and thanks…for everything.”

He looked at Hayner “Thank you Hayner. Really. You saved my ass and I don’t think I ever thanked you properly. If you ever need anything man, call me.”

The teen tried not to cry but when Riku hugged him close, he couldn’t stop it. “I’m sorry Riku.”

Riku whispered “Why? I’m ok now.”

“I’m sorry you were always lonely. I tried…I tried to be there…”

Riku hugged him tight. “You have nothing to apologize for, do you hear me? I have a problem, I’m sick. You tried to help me when no one else would. I had no right to put you in that position. You were just a kid. I’m the one who’s sorry. When you stayed with me that time, in that single act you showed me more love and compassion than either of my parents ever did. You’re the real shit Hayner, and I love you.”

Hayner sniffled and let Riku go.

Back at the estate the limo was out front waiting. “This is it, Rox! The first day of the rest of my life.” He looked back at the house once more and allowed himself to hope.


	28. PEEEEN

PEEEEN

  


They all were standing around the kitchen island and Cloud already had a few more shots than he should have. They were discussing everything that had come up and pointed questions were being asked. Understanding the need to address family issues, the boys skipped their afternoon classes.

Vanitas was starting to fidget so Axel made his way over to him and asked, “What’s wrong baby?” as he wrapped his arms around him, squeezing.

Vanitas clung to him and whispered against his ear, “There’s a truck with 8 kegs of beer that will be pulling up in about 15 minutes.” They looked around the room slowly from his dad to Uncle Vince to another Turk. Axel kissed his neck and whispered back, “I got this, watch me work.”

He moved away from Vanitas to stand near Reno so as to look casual. “So this weekend kicks off Oktoberfest, right guys?”

Reno was first to speak up. “Hell yeah, I know you little fuckers are gonna burn it down like Nibelhhhh…. uh you guys havin a party, yo.”

Vanitas smiled and when all eyes were on the red twins, he exited the kitchen.

Cloud was holding his half empty bottle of whiskey, looking like he was a million miles away. Sora didn’t look much closer to Earth than his dad. He had taken something to calm his nerves and he and Ventus had been cycling in and out of the kitchen secretly taking hits off the bong. Seeing a lull in conversation, he walked over to Cloud, “Dad?”

“Yeah Sor?” Cloud slurred a little.

“I love you and I know you sent Reno to spy on us, I get that. We like Reno, he’s like Axel two point o. But Dad…we’re your boys right?” Sora was blossoming that shit-eating grin that everyone knew and loved.

“You know I love you guys.” Cloud peered a bit closer. “Sora… are you high?”

There was quiet laughter around the room and Vanitas returned and gave Axel a nod. They all were focused on Sora as he hovered near Cloud with that stoner grin. Vanitas winced because he had a feeling it was about to get real in the Strife house.

“We want you to know you can tell us _anything_.” Sora patted cloud’s shoulder, grinning like the blue ribbon winner with the prized pig at a county fair.

“Yes… and I said I would answer whatever you asked truthfully. No more secrets.” You could hear the apprehension in Cloud’s voice as he waited for the question.

“K” Sora rolled his lips then licked them as if he had to prepare his mouth to work and said, “Do you like peeeen?”

Vincent Valentine literally evaporated from the room. Axel and Reno were climbing all over each other to get out, while Ventus and Vanitas were unabashedly hanging onto each other cackling.

“Sora, goddammit.” Cloud said dejectedly.

“Language Dad!” squawked Vanitas.

Ventus was wheezing and they could hear Axel and Reno hacking and coughing in the den.

“Ok, ok. I’m only saying this once, so shut up.” The boys quieted immediately. “I had an affair with my general- THE General Sephiroth- when I was a cadet… the same general I had to kill. I was with your mother for a time, but not faithfully. Up until last night, I was with Reno, but I’ve had so much DRAMA I didn’t think it was fair to him… so I called it off. I asked him to look in on you guys while he was here on a job but I had no idea the mess it would all turn out to be. So… YES I had a PTSD moment when I met Riku, and YES I had an emotional moment seeing Axel. Are you satisfied?”

Sora nodded and Cloud added before he turned up the bottle, “Yes, yes I do like peeen.” They all roared with laughter. On the other side of the door Reno high fived Axel, then they both swung their arms like they were hitting a home run, and then laughed, falling all over each other.

Cloud stood and stretched. “Speaking of Reno… I have some apologizing to do so, if you guys will walk me…help me walk out I’ll see him and then go to my hotel so you can get on with your party.”

Sora, Ventus, and Vanitas crowded around Cloud and walked into the den, still laughing and stared right into the faces of Roxas and Riku. They had just come in and Vincent gave them a quick rundown of what was going on in the kitchen. They heard the rest. Roxas was shocked and Riku was wary.

“Hi Dad.” Roxas said meekly.

Reno intercepted Cloud, put his hand on his lower back and whispered, "Think. Before. You. Speak."

Cloud looked distraught. "Rox..." was all he got out before Roxas ran into his arms.

"I love you Dad. I'm sorry. I'm gonna get clean, I promise." Cloud knew that was easier said than done but he was glad to hear it all the same. As he held his son, Reno and Axel looked away at the same moment, and Vincent also turned away as a look of sheer misery flashed across his face. He had failed his own son- He would not fail his grandson.

 

The elder Turk approached Riku and said quietly, "Let's talk."

Stepping out onto the deck, they sat down and stared at one another. Neither seemed to be uncomfortable.

Finally, the silence was broken as Vincent asked simply, "How long?"

Riku grunted, "Off and on since I was fourteen."

Vincent was silent so Riku continued. "I had my shitty times but I got it under control."

Vincent grunted. "You remind me of him."

Riku bowed his head thinking, _here we go… finally rid of Xemnas and my only surviving family also hates me_.

Vincent reached over and tipped his chin up. "Don't do that, Riku. You get the same empty look that Sephiroth had when he was dealing with emotional things… He wasn't heartless like so many people thought, he just didn’t let people know what he was feeling. He felt it gave them an advantage to know what caused him pain.”

"Did you know him well? I wish that I had known he was my father… when I was a kid." Those words melted Vincent’s heart.

"He was an amazing man. Expert tactician, swordsman, humanitarian. He funded many charities anonymously and was a fool about children. He never had a childhood, really. He grew up in the science department of ShinRa." Vincent propped his feet up and lit a cigarette.

Riku propped his feet up and lit a joint and shook his hair out of his eyes.

Vincent laughed out loud, scaring him a bit. "That damned hair."

Riku laughed too. "Don't hate."

Vincent roared and then took Riku's joint. "Gimme that, you little shit. You don't need it." He burned half of it down and Riku squealed, "You don't need it either!"

"Yes I do! I'm an old man and I have vision problems." He hit it again and passed it back.

"Oh yeah?" Riku burned it down and licked it to put it out.

Vincent nodded, "Yes, my eyes enable me to see through bullshit." Then he looked at Riku with his red eyes wide and much to Vincent's surprise, Riku laughed.

As they rose to walk back inside Riku bumped his shoulder. "Hey, can I see your fangs?"

Vincent laughed and patted his back. "You're Sephiroth's kid so you'll see ‘em eventually whether you want to or not."

  


Inside, people had started showing up for the weekend of debauchery. Aqua was there hanging on Ventus as he talked to Roxas about the Reno incident. They were all laughing, even Sora who was already baked and talking about the bag lady. Vincent weaved between guests to get a drink and look for Cloud even though he figured that he would end up staying with the redhead. When Demyx showed up with his guitar, everyone yelled to him as usual and he felt happy in spite of Aqua and Ventus. Strife House was hosting a party- ready or not and no one seemed to be willing to do anything to deter it.

 

Axel had been eyeing Vanitas and waiting to get him alone for a few minutes and finally saw his chance. Vanitas was walking toward the kitchen so Axel casually followed. Right inside, Vanitas was getting more plastic cups from the pantry when he felt a hand slide across his ass and squeeze.

"Hi Red." He said as he turned around. Axel didn't speak, but kissed Vanitas and bumped him back into the pantry closing the door behind him.

"Are you nuts? My dad's here somewhere." Vanitas laughed.

Axel grunted while groping him and kissing his neck.

Vanitas wiggled. “Lemme move over this is a really big pantry but I'm stepping on something. Turn on the light a sec."

"NO!" Two voices spoke simultaneously that weren't Axel or Vanitas. Everyone froze for a second, then a familiar voice said, "Find your own spot yo. This one's taken."

Axel said to the darkness, "Reno?"

They heard a groan and Vanitas said, "Dad?"

Cloud said, "Yes, Vani."

Axel snickered and Vanitas groaned just like his father, and said "Goddammit."

They were exiting the pantry being sure not to look back, and they heard, "Language Vanitas!"

  


Demyx found himself a spot and started playing a little as people flowed into the house. Everyone knew him and expected him to be there, regardless of his status with Ven. He was a staple.

Xion came in looking amazing. She had the night off work and couldn’t wait to see her friends.

"Hi Demyx!" She squealed. He smiled and nodded. "Roxas you're back. Where's Riku?"

"Right here" he purred from behind her. She squealed again. "You gonna dance for us later?" he asked as Roxas played with the hem of her skirt.

"Of course." She said sweetly and hugged them both, and they both copped a feel before letting her go.

Reno came out of the kitchen at that point and stopped. He hadn't told Cloud about Xion so he needed to handle that, but she spotted him and in two steps, she was in his arms. He hugged her and sat her back on the floor. "There's someone I want ya ta meet, dollface."

Out on the deck Cloud was talking to Vincent when Reno and Xion approached. Vincent excused himself.

"Cloud this is Xion. Xion, Cloud Strife."

She smiled and eyed him. "I thought the Strife were quads not quints."

Cloud smiled, "Thanks but I'm their dad not their brother."

Xion looked at Reno for confirmation. "No fucking way." Xion giggled. "Goddamn you’re hot for a daddy." She cooed. "Reno can we keep him?!"

"Definitely yo." 

Cloud was smiling at them and she just couldn't stop staring. “Look at that smile oh my god!"

Cloud blushed as he chuckled and dropped his head. Xion squealed with delight. "I'm gonna dance later, you gonna be around Daddy?"

"I'll be here." He smiled and Reno winked at him over her shoulder.

  


Back inside she was getting some beer when she saw an unfamiliar face. "Hi cutie!" Never one to meet a stranger she introduced herself. "My name is Xion. Are you new here?"

The man spoke. "No I'm actually quite old." He was getting his own beer.

"Right, well nothing beats that hottie I just met. He said he was the Strife's dad. Can you believe that shit?"

Vincent smiled baring his fangs just a bit and said, "I can totally believe that shit."

Xion took a step back. "Holy shit, are you a vampire or... Oh my god... I think I'm hallucinating. Riku! Did you spike the kegs!?"

Riku popped in and kissed her on the neck playfully. "No but I will next time. What's up? I see you met Vincent."

“Not formally,” Vincent said.

"Oh" Riku nodded. "Vincent this is Xion our friend and very talented stripper." He licked her ear and made her squeal again. "Xion this is Vincent, my grandfather." Riku got his beer and nodded at them as he walked away.

Not one to be made a fool of Xion stood there staring at Vincent. He stared back.

"He's lying. Tell me he's lying." Xion said.

Vincent just cocked his head to the side, watching her watch him. She reached to touch his face and look a little nervously at his red eyes. Just as her hand touched his smooth cheek he turned his head quickly and snapped at her fingers. Xion screamed, dropped her cup, and ran from the kitchen.

The house was packed for Oktoberfest kick off. Reno and Axel were singing again, much to Cloud’s delight. He loved the way Reno was with Axel. He had never seen that side of him before and he was in awe of the redhead. He thought he might even be able to get along with Axel...maybe...but Vanitas...

To everyone's surprise Namine showed up in full ‘I’m gonna get may man back’ attire. "I just wanna talk to him." she said to which Demyx replied, "I don't think you do." She stalked away in a huff to find Vanitas and he started playing Bitch Came Back by Theory of a Deadman, inciting howls and laughter from everyone.

  


Upstairs Axel and Vanitas had behaved as long as they could. In his room Vanitas was sprawled in his favorite big fluffy chair with his pants around his ankles and hands in Axel’s hair. Axel was on his knees with a throat full of Vanitas and a handful of himself.

Vanitas moaned and tugged Axel’s hair. He couldn't believe he wanted to do this knowing that he wasn't going to let him have it. He felt a sticky wet finger prodding at him and he pulled Axels hair as he ground down on it. Axel pressed into him and felt him contract then relax and when he started to move his hand, he heard Vanitas grunt and then he wiggled his hips to get the invading digit deeper inside. It was too much for Axel. He abandoned touching himself to use both hands to tease and touch. The sound of Vanitas’ moans was addictive to the redhead and after a few minutes he added another finger and Vanitas cried out then ground down.

"Good?" Axel asked and looked up at Vanitas’ face.

Vanitas released his hair and touched his face. "God Axel" he closed his eyes and pushed down "More" he whined.

Axel growled and pushed deeper causing Vanitas to let out a long groan and Axel swallowed him down again. He sounded like an animal and Axel was enraptured as he probed and stretched him. He could tell Vanitas was close and his own neglected cock was aching. Soon Vanitas couldn’t wait any longer and cried out as Axel felt his muscles contracting with his orgasm.

When he was able to form words, he panted out “Axel…let me…let me touch you.”

Axel’s hands left his body immediately to divest him of his shoes and pants. “Axel…” he said softly but Axel covered his mouth with his own and pulled him from the chair to the bed. Vanitas grabbed at his jeans and tugged them down to his knees, leaving the redhead shocked into stillness.

He sat on his bed facing Axel as he stood there unsure of what to do. Vanitas stared for a mental three second count before asking. “You’re…you’re not gonna…take them off?”

Axel snapped out of it and said “Oh hell yeah.” He was out of his jeans, on the bed, on top of Vanitas kissing him before another word could be said. Vanitas eyed the lube that was abandoned on the bed and grabbed it. He took Axel’s cock with both hands and began stroking him. Axel groaned- he was shaking as Vanitas increased his speed just a bit. Enraptured, Axel was eating his neck and throat when he warned “Vani, you’re gonna make me come an I…”

“You what?” Vanitas asked as he continued to torture Axel with the steady movements and occasional squeeze.

Axel groaned and dropped his head on Vanitas’ shoulder. “I want…I mean can I…” he panted.

“Wherever you want” Vanitas hissed in his ear. Axel whimpered and rose up just enough to flip Vanitas over onto his belly and grabbed his hip with one hand. Vanitas reached back with both hands and spread himself for him, and arched his back. He heard a squeak and then felt hot come spatter across his ass. He smiled to himself as he listened to Axel curse and pray in the same breath.

When Axel collapsed beside him, Vanitas propped on his elbows and reached for a cigarette. “Want one?”

Axel sniffled, “Not yet, Vani. I’m havin a religious experience right now.” Vanitas grinned and got up to go to the bathroom. He came out to find Namine standing in the open doorway. He was still naked and so was Axel who had pulled a pillow over his face, still mumbling prayers.

"Like the show, Nami?"

She only stared and shook her head. This got Axel’s attention and when he saw who their visitor was, he got pissed. She looked upset but neither of them was trying to find a fuck to give. "I can't believe..." She began.

Axel got up and walked over to her, still naked and said "Let me help you....” then he kissed her deeply as she stood and allowed it. _Probably thinking she’s gonna get some action_ , Vanitas thought, but Axel broke the kiss and smiled. “Taste that? Savor it, cause you’ll never have it again.” He turned to Vanitas who looked pleased and they dressed to rejoin the party.


	29. ACCEPTANCE

ACCEPTANCE

  


Roxas and Riku were drunk when they joined the group on the floor in the den. Now it was a cluster: Reno, Demyx, Cloud, Roxas, Riku, and Sora. Sora was trying to accept the Riku/Roxas thing. He had thought about what Aerith said and decided that he wanted Riku to be happy… because Roxas would always be his, regardless of who he was fucking.

Sora and Roxas leaned on each other, whispering occasionally like they used to, while Riku leaned on Cloud, who he had started calling _Dad_ , much to Cloud’s chagrin. Demyx and Reno sat back to back in the center. Demyx played requests and Reno sang. The room was smoky and the atmosphere was lazy and stoned; a huge contrast to the usual amped rave. He looked around for Axel and not finding him, asked Demyx, “Do you know Brother by Alice in Chains?”

Demyx began to play it in answer. When Reno started to sing, Roxas sang two-part with him while he held Sora's hand, and it wasn’t long before Axel and Vanitas were winding their way through the crowd to join them. The room erupted and someone threw their underwear. Suddenly, all the guys sitting in the small pod tackled Sora, screaming, “Don’t do it man, please don’t do it! No good will come of it, Soraaa!” They all laughed and the underwear was taken away before Sora could sneak a sniff.

They got up for drinks and made room for Xion as Demyx hit the ipod on his way to the kitchen. “Goddam, I love you guys,” he said as they crowded around the bong on the counter.

"We love you too, Dem!" They all said making him laugh. "So tomorrow we're doing a beach theme," Roxas nodded "We need to remind everybody."

They nodded and Riku mumbled as he struck the failing lighter repeatedly, "Yanno it'd be great if Hayner, Olette, and Snow could be here."

"Who're they?" Vanitas asked.

"Some people I surfed with on Destiny." Riku said. "They were my friends."

"ARE your friends." Roxas corrected in a very motherly tone that made his brothers all check one another. "They were devastated to see you go."

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Riku fished his phone out of his pocket and started texting and Roxas smiled as he watched. What started out as a shitty birthday for Riku had turned into quite the gift. He was free of Xemnas, had enough money to do whatever he wanted, he had realized his friendships were stronger than the drugs he was a slave to, and they were together.

Vanitas was leaning over the counter, propped on his elbows talking to Sora who kept looking over his shoulder. "Who's behind me Sora, what the fuck are you looking at?"

Sora whispered, "Axel has been staring at your ass and he looks like he’s gonna cry." He snickered and Vanitas winked as he shifted his ass. Sora giggled again.

Vanitas reached back to slowly put his phone into his pocket. Sora's eyes got big and he giggled again.

Vanitas reached back to get his phone but instead just left his hand there and shifted his hips again. Sora clapped his hands over his mouth and Axel left the kitchen.

Sora cackled. "What was that about, Vani?"

"I've discovered his wicked voodoo secrets and made 'em my own." Vanitas smirked.

  


Stepping into the den Axel went to Reno and hung out a bit until Reno asked, "What's up, Runt?"

"I ...um...I ...aaaahhhh. Fuckin' hell. Yanno I'm seeing Vanitas now, right?"

"Obviously, pantry. Continue." Reno said curtly, smoking a cigarette.

"I can't be around him. I mean I can, but I can't keep my mind off of...yanno...and I'm always..." Axel looked down at his bits.

Reno grinned. "Why do you think I'm over here and Cloud's over there, yo?” Reno pointed with his smoke. “Sometimes it just gets ta be too much. If I'm near him, I wanna touch him. If I touch him, I wanna fuck him." Reno shrugged. "I would say that time will change things but it hasn't for me, not with him yo."

Axel nodded. "Does he ever get mad at you?"

"All the time, but at the end of the day we know where we stand with each other."

Axel looked at him seriously, "Yeah?"

Reno nodded, "If you guys have a fight, don't let him sleep on that shit yo. Tell him how ya feel even if it's not nice. Chances are if he's like his dad, what's goin through his head is way worse than anything you're gonna say."

Axel nodded. "Thanks, Reno"

He hugged his brother and started to walk away when Cloud approached, stopping him.

"Axel I want you to know that I think you're good for Vani." They stared at each other.

"Can I call you Dad?" Axel said with a straight face.

"No" Cloud fired right back.

"Riku does" Axel argued.

"You're not Riku." Cloud said crossing his arms.

"I see, so it's a guilt thing?" Axel made the hand motion of stabbing someone.

"No... Not exactly" Cloud said, a little unsure.

"So it's a pity thing?"

"No... Not really."

"So is Roxas your favorite then, because he looks like you?"

"No! That's ridiculous!"

"So why?"

"Because I said so."

"Is it because you're fucking my twin brother and it would be weird?"

"Mostly, yes."

"K" Axel walked away whistling at Xion like the whole thing had never happened, Reno was laughing, and Cloud was ready to kill him because he looked like that menace.

  


Outside Riku was gliding up and down their street on his skateboard, phone on his shoulder, flipping through his wallet. Roxas watched him, drink in hand, sitting on his board on the sidewalk. He heard footsteps and looked up to see Sora, Ventus, and Vanitas holding their boards. "S'up?" He said.

"That’s fuckin crazy." Vanitas nodded toward Riku. “I feel rusty just watching him.”

"Shit's like therapy for him," Said Roxas. "He's landlocked, and that's as close as he can get to surfing."

Riku shoved his phone in his pocket and all the Strife boys hit their decks. They cruised him and he looked up grinning. _Dimples for days_ Roxas thought. "S'uuup?" he said as he headed down the street for the cemetery.

The old cemetery covered a few city blocks and was paved through with lanes and rows that dipped and curved. They entered at the top and split off at the first crossroads two and two, leaving Riku to either choose to follow either pair or go straight.

Riku went straight and hit the first hill gaining momentum. He had skated there many nights and even had his favorite grave markers.

Sora and Roxas crossed his path calling out “Riku!”

Halfway down Ventus and Vanitas crossed in the other direction yelling “Riku!”

He decided to hang left at a white mausoleum and the brothers had split apart and now were _everywhere_. They kept yelling his name each time one of them passed him. It was like a game and Riku felt like a kid again… like he imagined kids felt who had lots of friends. He laughed and reveled in the acceptance and the realization that he wasn’t alone anymore was a little overwhelming and he began to think of how much his life had changed since his birthday.

He saw Sora cruise by grinning like an idiot. “Riiikuuu!” and he thought of the night before he left, what he did to Sora, and how he didn’t deserve his forgiveness.

Ventus passed, laughing. “Rikuu!” and he thought of Ven and the times he had tracked Riku down to score drugs for Roxas. Ven knew that Riku gave Rox his first hit, yet he didn’t hate him.

“Riku!!” Vanitas rolled by smoking and smiling. Vanitas was a quiet one like Riku himself. He let his actions speak for him and there was never a question of whether he liked you or not. You would know.

“Riku!” Roxas went by smiling, hands behind his back. _There goes my baby,_ Riku thought. _There goes my reason to live._

  


Cloud Strife had done his wild oat sewing years ago but for 20 years he had been working and raising children. When his kids left for college he had slowly begun to do things that he used to enjoy. He enjoyed motorcycles, he had 3. He enjoyed going to the gym, he used the company one. He ate healthy and didn’t smoke… _often…hardly ever really_.

So how did he get from there to _here_? _Here_ was at his boys’ place getting a lap dance from their friend Xion _‘a very talented stripper’_ and her phone number. _Here_ was sitting between Reno and Demyx passing a bong. _Here_ was playing beer pong with the pitifully unenhanced and already drunk college kids and watching them drink til they puked. _Here_ was also forgiving and understanding and letting Sephiroth’s son call him Dad. He needed a breather.

He walked outside into the autumn chill and looked up at the stars. He wondered what had ever happened to Aerith. Vincent said that the reports he was allowed to view about Riku listed her as the mother but nothing further. Riku’s place of birth had been listed as a hospital that didn’t exist anymore. He thought of trying to track her down…

His thoughts were interrupted by the stripper, the very talented one. “Hey Daddy, what’s up? Why’re you out here all alone looking so thoughtful?”

Cloud turned to her and smiled. _She’s a cute little thing_. “I was just thinking about the boys.”

“Of course you were, cause you’re a great daddy.” she cooed as she snuggled under his arm. “It’s chilly out here.”

Cloud chuckled, “Well you hardly have any clothes on, so…”

Xion giggled. “I guess you have a point. So are you coming back tomorrow night?”

“No, as much as I've enjoyed myself tonight, I’m sure my kids don’t want their old man hanging around all the time.” he said with a smile.

“You know you have the cutest smile. I just can’t get over you.”

“Roxas looks just like me, so you see this all the time. You’re just trying to flatter me.” he laughed, making Xion squeal and pinch his cheek. “I am not! I’m serious. Your face is so beautiful. I would kiss you if you’d let me.” She grinned, turning to face him.

“I bet you would. Where are you from? Where are your parents, or nanny, or parole officer? Somebody?” Cloud listened to her laugh at his silliness and she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest. “You’re so warm. I could so sleep right here.”

Cloud sighed, relenting, and put a hand on her back and stroked her hair with the other. _Goddamn strippers with daddy issues, fucking little hot ass short chick_. _Where the fuck is Reno and why is he not out here shooing her away?_ _That’s it, I’ll just mention Reno._ Cloud opened his mouth to speak, but not soon enough.

“Reno told me that you two are together.” Xion purred on his chest.

Shot down, Cloud dropped his head so that his lips were touching her hair. “He did, huh?”

Xion grinned an evil grin that he didn’t see, but definitely heard. “Yes he did. I think it’s hot… you two together.” She began to move her hands across his back. “All these muscles. I bet you look like a god when you’re naked.”

Cloud’s inner fun-police was starting to blink a warning as he rolled his eyes. “Well I don’t think gods are all banged up like I am.” He laughed a little trying to dissuade her.

“You have scars? That’s so sexy. Can I see?” she asked excitedly.

Cloud chuckled, “No you may not, young lady.”

Xion raised her head from his chest and looked into his eyes as she poked her bottom lip out into a very tempting pout. “Why not? I danced for you.”

“You danced for everyone.” he nodded "and it was amazing."

Her eyes lit up and she grinned. “So, I can see??”

“I didn’t say that,” Cloud laughed, looking exasperated.

“Oh it’s too cold out here anyway, come on Daddy.” She grabbed his hand and started dragging him through the doors. The further she went into the house the easier it was to pull him along and when they were halfway upstairs, he slowed their ascent, “Just where are you taking me?”

“You don’t wanna show your scars to _everyone_ do you?” Xion asked as she resumed her climb with Cloud in tow.

  


All the bedrooms belonged to his kids so he would have a perfectly legitimate excuse not to enter any of them if that was her plan. That wasn’t her plan.

She took and abrupt left into the bathroom near the end of the hallway. Once inside she slammed the door with a force that took Cloud by surprise. He leaned against the counter, chewing his lip, a habit that Vanitas had picked up years ago. She stood in front of him expectantly. “Ok, Show me.”

Feeling more than a little on the spot, he blushed and immediately hated himself for doing so because she squealed. “I’ll help you if you’re shy.”

Not waiting for a reply, she began unbuttoning his ever present white oxford that was only tucked in for work. He watched her thinking _this is wrong on so many levels_. The bottom 2 buttons were never closed, so when she was done she reached up with a smirk and stripped the shirt down off his shoulders to his elbows. Cloud just kept his head down and tried to remember a prayer…he failed. “Hmmm, that’s better but where are the scars. You have this beater on and I can’t see.”

“I have some on my arms you can see, here” Cloud pointed to scars on his shoulder and his bicep.

Xion ran both hands up his arms and over his shoulders then traced the scars with a fingertip. “Do they hurt now?” She asked, looking up into his eyes.

“No, not anymore.” He looked at her big eyes- he knew what she was doing. His dilemma was whether he wanted to let her continue or not. _This is wrong. She’s so young_.

“Are there more?” She asked, still caressing his arms and shoulders.

He watched her briefly and then dropped his head back to stare at the ceiling. “Yes there are more, yes you can see, yes I am a terrible father who’s hiding in a bathroom with a girl my sons’ age.”

Xion squealed and laughed. “You’re so funny.”

He let her finish taking his shirt off, and before she could get a grip on his undershirt, he pulled it over his head. Cloud stared at the ceiling as she stared at him. Then there were hands gliding across his chest, brushing his nipples the down his abs.

He didn’t want to look at her face when she started to trace the worst of the scars- the one on his chest that should have killed him- but when he felt a light press on it, he looked down at her anyway. She had her lips pressed to the scar where Sephiroth has stabbed him.

He looked back up to the ceiling _. Goddamn pixie_.

Hands slid down his ribs and back to his abs as she kissed across his chest where there weren’t any scars. He was gripping the counter hard enough that he heard it crackle under the pressure. She flicked a nipple with her tongue and he mumbled to the ceiling, “That’s not a scar, little girl.”

She giggled and pressed her lips to the base of his throat, “It’s ok, I have permission to put my lips wherever I want.”

Cloud squeezed his eyes shut and thought, _this is such a bad idea_.

She scraped her teeth lightly over his throat and down to his nipple and continued down to his abs where she nipped the tight skin. “I didn’t give you permission, who gave you permission?” Cloud breathed.

Xion sucked at a spot of skin right above the waistband of his jeans as she started to unfasten them and stopped only long enough to rub his erection through his jeans, “He said I could, Daddy.”

Cloud dropped his head, abandoning the spot on the ceiling.

He shook his head in defeat while his inner fun police blew whistles, flashed lights and waved signs, and she looked up at him questioningly. Watching her as she pulled his zipper down and started tugging the jeans down his hips, he met her eyes once more, as she actually gave him a last chance to flee. Offering a half-smile, he said. “He’s the boss.”


	30. FAMILY

FAMILY

  


The Strife boys came back with Riku, skating up to the house like a gang of yelling, laughing kids. Riku turned before he started up the steps, looking for Roxas when suddenly a weight hit his back, arms wrapped around his neck, and knees clamped his ribs. Roxas was laughing in his ear. "Who ya looking for?"

Riku laughed and hooked his arms around his legs and carried him inside on his back. Once again there was a chorus of "Riku!" He grinned- _dimples for everybody_.

Roxas kissed his cheek "Wanna cook?"

"We shouldn’t while your dad’s here."

Roxas hummed. "Got some blow?"

He was literally and figuratively the devil on Riku's shoulder at that point.

"Come on Rox, Let's just chill and get smoked out."

"Okay" Roxas agreed as he stole someone's beer when they walked past. In the kitchen he stole someone's joint when they weren't looking, and hit it then passed it to Riku… who torched the whole thing.

"Where are Dad and Grampa, I wonder?" Riku mumbled as he looked around. People had started to pass out in random places and some had left.

"Let's go upstairs. If you won't cook with me maybe I can persuade you to fuck me." Roxas whispered into his ear, winning him a kiss.

Riku was jogging up the stairs, still carrying Roxas when he saw Cloud coming down with Xion, also riding piggyback. They stopped on the same step, one heading up, and one heading down. "S'up Dad you look a little buzzed. Ya been hittin that bong?" Riku said grinning and nodding as Roxas giggled from his back.

Cloud blushed "Lil bit yeah."

Xion giggled and squeaked out, "That’s not all Daddy's been hittin."

Roxas shrieked like a queen and Riku giggled.

"I'm outta here Rox," Cloud said. "I'm an old man and I need my rest."

Xion was starting to nibble at his neck and Roxas hid his face in Riku's hair. "Nooo, not in front of the children!"

Riku and Cloud laughed at him, and Xion bit Cloud and he grunted. "I'm borrowing this," he bounced her on his back. "I'll return her tomorrow."

She whispered into his ear and he added, "After work."

Riku gave Cloud a fist bump and said, "Handle that shit, Dad!"

They laughed as they went their separate ways and Xion yelled from Cloud’s back, “Renooo! Take us home with yooouuu!”

From across the room Reno gave a lecherous grin and told the crew he was standing with, “I’m out, yo. It’s been real.”

  


"That's just wroong." Roxas crowed once they got upstairs.

"Why you say?" Riku asked as they walked into the gray bed room.

"He's my dad!"

"Yeah, but he's hot." Riku giggled as he shed his shirt.

"What're you saying, Riku? Would you bang my dad?" Roxas roared.

"Fuck yeah, he's a goddamn peach."

"Oh god!" Roxas fell onto the bed laughing. "So, if you think he's fuckable, how can you even call him dad?"

"Cause that's always gonna be my first thought every time I see him. Dad." Riku said more seriously. "He cared for my father and he killed him, the father that I never met."

"He didn't want to." Roxas defended Cloud.

"I get it. I do. I'm not sayin he's a bad guy, actually, just the opposite. He’s a strong man, he has conviction. And when he showed up early that day...he didn't blow up, he didn't hit anybody. He talked to you guys. He had a meltdown because of my stupid face and he held his shit together." Riku shrugged. "I just think he's pretty goddamn awesome."

Roxas smiled and reached for him. "Come here you. There's nothing stupid about your face. I wanna kiss it."

Riku picked a vial out of his pocket before walking to the bed. "Want?"

"Hell yeah." Roxas sat up and started shedding clothes. There was nothing as brutal as getting fucked by Riku when he was wired but Roxas loved it.

Once Roxas had his bump, Riku shoved him down on the bed, rolled him to his stomach, and tapped out 2 sloppy lines on his bare ass. Roxas laughed while he snorted and licked away the residue.

Pausing, Riku growled and Roxas felt a wet warm drip on his ass. "Goddammit. Fuck, fuck. Sorry baby. I'm good now."

The blonde rolled over and saw Riku trying to staunch a nosebleed. "So sexy." He giggled.

Riku flashed and evil grin and stuffed some tissue up both nostrils. "Come here baby! Lemme get that ass!"

Roxas squawked and scrambled across the bed away from the monster with tissue hanging out of his face. "Gimme some more, first." Roxas bargained with the Riku monster as blood slowly soaked the tissue. Riku tossed him the vial and finished shedding his clothes while Roxas emptied the last of the coke onto his hand.

Downstairs they party was dying down. Ventus had taken a nasty fall after coming back from skating and Aqua was nursing his lumpy head. He had been laughing at Demyx when he just fell out. Nobody caught him and he hit his head on the end table by the sofa. Axel and Vanitas had passed out on the pillow pile.

Sora was in his room playing video games and smoking himself into oblivion and when he started hearing noise from Roxas' room, he popped in his ear buds. "Motherfucker" he mumbled and smoked on. Unbeknownst to Sora, red eyes blinked in the dark corner of his room as Vincent watched over him until he fell asleep.

  


The early afternoon brought hangovers which were quickly remedied and everyone was in a good mood. The day was all about getting ready for the beach party even though the weather had gotten cooler and rain was expected. Riku went in to wake Sora only to find his bed empty. There was a note on the pillow.

_‘Gone to see Aerith, back later. Love Sora’_

He stared at the note, thinking… _what if…_

Riku popped back in on Roxas and said “I gotta go downtown to get some stuff. Sora is out too. Want me to get him on my way back?”

“Sure,” Roxas mumbled as he fidgeted with some fake leis he was going to hang by the door. He was bouncing his knee and picking at the cloth flowers. _He’s amped_ , thought Riku.

“You ok, Rox?”

He nodded his head and sniffed. “Sora’ll be under the freeway bridge. I’ll text him and tell him you’re comin.”

Riku nodded and left.

  


Axel slid down the bannister and hopped off at the bottom. His hair was in pigtails again and he looked excited. “I gotta work on my study this week. You guys are turning me into a slacker.

“Negative, red death, we’ve met your brother. It’s clear you’ve been well trained at slacking.”

Axel laughed and watched Roxas for a minute. “Rox, you ok?”

Roxas snapped. “Yes I’m fucking ok! What the hell?! I just had a little bump to wake me up is all! Why is everyone acting like I’m some kind of junk freak!”

Axel put his hands up and walked away.

In the kitchen, Vanitas was helping Ventus get food together and clearing the rest of the mess from the previous night. “Hey Ven, you and Aqua doin ok?”

“So far so good, why ya ask?”

“Just makin sure everything’s cool with you guys.” Vanitas kept busy. He didn’t want to upset Ventus over gossip so he didn’t share that he had overheard another girl’s conversation about Aqua and some guy named Terra.

“Yeah, it’s all good. She’s not comin tonight though, somethin about helping her mom with somethin.” Ventus said unsuspectingly and Vanitas winced.

Axel entered the kitchen looking concerned. “I’m worried about Roxas.”

Ventus and Vanitas just looked at him and waited.

“He’s doin a lotta coke. Don’t you guys think?”

They both nodded. “He binges. I don’t know what to do aside from lock him up somewhere. He doesn’t wanna get clean so talking to him isn’t gonna help. If you think it’s that bad we can talk to dad about taking him for treatment.” Ventus sounded concerned.

Axel nodded noncommittally and told the two he was going back to the dorm to get ready and bring Demyx back. When he said Demyx’s name, Ventus smiled without even realizing it. Axel and Vanitas looked at one another and raised their eyebrows. “Ok I gotta get going” he said as he grabbed Vanitas’ ass and kissed him goodbye.

  


Downtown, Riku was pacing while talked to his usual contact. “What the fuck do you mean dead? He can’t be fuckin dead right now I need my goddamn shit. I got people waitin.”

Soon he was off the phone and headed for a bar near the freeway bridge. Inside, he sat in the third seat from the end and waited. A painfully skinny man with dirty hair came in and nodded. Riku headed for the bathroom. Inside, the skinny man reached out to give Riku a package. “You gotta deal with me now.”

“Fuck off Lexaeus. I don’t gotta do shit. I’m not on this shit,” Riku lied “It’s just business. I can let them junkies starve.”

Lexaeus smiled, his rotten teeth making Riku cringe. “Sure Riku, sure whatever you say. I’ll be hearin from ya.” He took his money and left.

Riku couldn’t wait, as soon as the dealer was gone, he stepped into a stall and fixed right there in the nasty bathroom. Tipping his head back, he sweated and preyed _don’t puke, don’t puke…_. Staggering to the filthy sink, he turned on the tap and puked anyway, and then headed out to get Sora.

  


He didn’t have to go far to find him. He was sitting with a bag lady who was wearing the coat Sora had been rolling in the yard with. “Hey Sora.” He called out, shoving his hands into his pockets.

They both looked up at their visitor and Sora’s eyes looked sad, but the lady looked like she had seen a ghost. Riku smiled nervously as Sora stood up and brushed his jeans off. “Riku this is Ms. Aerith, Ms. Aerith this is Riku Valentine.”

Riku watched her stand and begin to mumble to herself. He didn’t know what to expect, so he tried to focus on acting straight. She approached him smiling with tears in her eyes.

Sora looked confused but had gotten used to a certain level of crazy hanging out with her.

She reached for Riku’s face and he froze as she put her hands on his cheeks, tears spilling down hers. “Sephiroth…Sephiroth…” she whispered.

Riku tried to swallow but his mouth had gone dry and he was about to panic. He had wanted to meet this  bag lady that Sora was such good friends, with who also happened to have the same name as his birth mother. He had a childish wish that he would one day find her and have that whole fairy tale thing. But things like that didn’t happen to him, not until recently anyways.

Here goes nothin, he thought. Talk to the crazy lady, Riku. “That was my father’s name.” He tried to speak as calmly as he could.

Her eyes sparkled as she smiled at him and touched his hair. “Oh…sweet little baby…tell me” she touched his cheek again and he realized she was wiping a tear away that he didn’t know had escaped his eye. “What’s your mother’s name, then?” She stroked his cheek and tucked his hair behind his ear.

“H-Her name is Aerith.” Riku stuttered. He couldn’t stop staring into those green eyes, and she took both his hands and smiled. “I never met another Aerith!”

“Me either” he stammered, half hoping this conversation was going somewhere fairy tale-ish. “Met her, I mean. I never met my mom.”

Aerith squeezed his hands. “You poor thing…you were an orph… Sephiroth was…” She started to mutter again about Sephiroth so Riku thought he’d take a shot and just ask.

“Did you know Sephiroth, my father?”

Sora was standing behind Aerith listening to the exchange. He looked at the dead cat pelt and at Riku, then Aerith, and his mind went back to all the jumbled stories Aerith told him in the past and he started lining the pieces up.

“I did. He was my…he was everything.” She started to cry and out of instinct Riku wrapped her up in a hug and held her. “Please don’t cry Ms. Aerith. I’m sorry I upset you.” He laid his cheek on top of her head and sighed as tears escaped his closed eyes. He messed up everything. All he did was make people sad.

They both grew still and it was like all the world fell away. Riku’s heart was breaking for this woman whose eyes seemed so familiar. _Why does she seem so familiar? Why does holding her seem so natural? Is it possible? I need to know her last name!_

Aerith was lost in her own memories as pieces of them began to fit together. She started to speak as one after another the memories put themselves in order.

“I love Sephiroth. I’ve always loved him. He was my angel until…and then he was gone… but I got another angel. My baby boy… he left me too… the doctors said… to be with his Daddy in the lifestream. I stayed at the hospital but…it closed. I was released and stayed here… I needed to be here… I was waiting for something…”

“My mother’s name is Aerith Gainsborough…” Riku said softly. “I was born in an institution where she was committed, twenty-one years ago. I lived at an orphanage until I was adopted by the Xemnas family …”

By the time he finished speaking she was sobbing in his arms. “My baby…my sweet baby boy…”

Riku broke down then. He squeezed Aerith and cried desperately out of pain and anger. They both had suffered for years needlessly because of circumstances beyond their control. As they stood there a peace slowly came over them both like wings shielding them from the past.

Sora watched them and wiped the tears off his cheeks, thinking how happy he was for them both. Feeling a sudden urge to be with his brothers, he started walking. “I’ll let you guys um, catch up. I’m happy for you both and I love you. Bring her home, Riku.” Sora said with a crooked smile.

He arrived back home to find that people were already showing up in beach attire but he jogged up the stairs and contemplated staying there. Deciding that getting stoned would be better than pouting in his room; he changed into his swim trunks and added an inflatable swim ring that looked like a yellow duck around his waist. Never let it be said that Sora Strife didn’t know how to party.


	31. SQUEAKING THE DUCK

SQUEAKING THE DUCK

  


Roxas got a text snapping him out of his daze.

Riku: Got NEWS. B back soon.

Roxas: K where ru?

Riku: drvng call me

As soon as Riku answered, Roxas asked, “How are you driving, you left the car on Destiny?”

Riku laughed “Hi yourself! I bought one while I was out, but guess what?” Before Roxas could speak he continued. “I found my fuckin mother, can you believe that shit, Roxas?! The homeless lady that Sor has been friends with all this time! She’s my birth mother! Roxas, I am the luckiest motherfucker ever born. The first 20 years were shitty but, damn. I can’t fuckin cry anymore cause I’m startin to feel like a bitch.”

Riku laughed and Roxas laughed with him. Riku’s life was so different now, he wondered if it would change everything?

“She wouldn’t come with me, Rox but she said she would come see me tomorrow. I can’t wait to see her again. I wanted to stay and she wouldn’t let me. Said I should come home and take care of you guys while your dad is gone. Is that weird?” he chuckled.

“On a scale of one to Aerith, no that’s not weird at all.” Roxas said, grinning. “Come take care of me then! Hurry up!”

“I will baby I just gotta make one more stop and I’ll be there. I love you, Roxas. Thank you.”

“I love you too Riku and you don’t have to thank me for anything. I’m where I wanna be, baby, good or bad.”

  


Axel sat staring at the computer screen but he couldn’t see anything but Vanitas. _Witchery!_ He needed to work on his study while he waited on Demyx. Speaking of, _what the fuck’s taking him so long in there?_ He knocked on the bathroom door. “Hey Dem you ok in there?”

“I’m fine.” He said, opening the door. Axel just stared.

“What?” Demyx asked.

“Really, Dem? You’re really wearin that?”

“Well, yes. It’s a beach theme right and that doesn’t always mean swimming, so yeah.” Demyx strolled by and picked up his guitar.

Axel shook his head and hugged him around the shoulders, “You’re fuckin awesome!” He kissed his cheek and they left.

Demyx drew a few stares walking to the Strife house in white capris, Hawaiian shirt that was mostly blue and green, red rimmed sunglasses, a huge sun hat, and flip-flops. Axel was wearing shorts and a hoodie, pretty simple… but he was barefoot.

Arriving to see Sora and the swim ring, Axel was convinced that Demyx would fit in more than he would. Vanitas came to greet him and poor Axel almost swallowed his tongue. He was wearing one of his wetsuits, a black, front zip, full suit that he had not zipped and had the entire upper half of the suit hanging down behind him.

Axel covered his face with his hands and when he heard Vanitas laughing, he peeked out to see him putting his arms in the sleeves.

“You don’t have to do that.”

Vanitas thought for a second, then turned around to show Axel the back view with the suit on properly. Axel covered his bits instead of his face and squeaked “Take it back down, take it back down!”

  


Ventus was dressed in khakis and a Hawaiian shirt that was red and orange. Everyone thought it was cute that he matched Demyx by accident but no one said so - the brothers were just going to watch it happen.

They had fruity drinks and more beer, and plenty of food. Everyone was in good spirits as the sun started to set.

Shortly after dark, a car pulled up to the curb and people were literally falling out when the doors opened. They were all laughing, so apparently no one had met any harm.

Sora looked out and said “Who got a new Camaro? That’s bad ass…”

Roxas walked out onto the porch and was met with a feminine squeal. “Costa!!”

He grinned and hopped down the steps “Olette!”

The thin brunette hugged him. “How are you? You guys are fuckin insane!”

Roxas laughed. “Well, Riku wasn’t ready to let you guys go I guess.”

“We need to get dressed for the party. We’re still in our civvies.” She said as she looked down at her jeans and hoodie.

“No problem, make yourself at home.” He kissed her cheek and she abandoned him as Snow and Hayner approached him followed by Riku who was lighting a cigarette.

“Roxaaas!” Snow crowed “This is fuckin siiick!”

Roxas nodded his head. “Welcome, welcome. There’s food…”

Snow disappeared into the house and Roxas laughed reaching out to Hayner. “What’s up man?”

Hayner smiled. “This is unbelievable man. It’s fuckin awesome to be here.”

Finally, Roxas grabbed Riku’s hand and Riku grabbed Hayner’s as they entered the house amidst the loud chaos that was a Strife party. Sora was standing by the door and as Riku started past, he reached out and squeaked his duck. His face split into a grin, and as he opened his mouth to speak Riku handed him the key to his car.

“AAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!” Sora bolted out of the house.

“Come on let’s get dressed for the party,” Riku tugged Roxas and Hayner upstairs and on the way up, Roxas cranked up the thermostat so everyone would be comfy in their summer attire.

Inside his room, he started to strip as Hayner dropped his bag and began throwing things at Riku Hayner wore a full wetsuit similar to Vanitas’ but it was a back zip. Riku got into his wetsuit, a black and purple shortie with no sleeves. He hardly ever wore it surfing and had let Hayner keep all his gear to use in his absence. Leaving his choice of attire to Hayner’s discretion, the teen figured it would be good for the party and packed it along with a few other special items.

Roxas was putting on shorts when Riku stopped him. “I got somethin that I was hopin you would consider wearin…for me?” He handed Roxas a dark green wad of silk.

Roxas stared for a second then roared with laughter.

“It’s not the same one but pretty damn close.” Riku laughed as Roxas put the night gown on.

“Hell yeah! I’ll rock this shit!” They bounded down the stairs to laughs and applause.

  


Olette was getting chatted up by a bunch of guys who complimented her on her black and pink wetsuit, and Snow immediately hit it off with Axel and Vanitas. There was a long discussion about Snow’s blonde dreadlocks and Axel’s insane red hair. Vanitas’ tattoos were also discussed as Snow explained that he was afraid of needles. When the conversation turned to Roxas’ nightgown, Snow remembered that he had video.

“So we went out, right, and there were these two people in nightgowns with boards. When we got closer we recognized Riku, cause, well... we know him … and it’s not strange to see him on the beach wearing whatever… or sometimes nothin…?..uh… anyway we went over to say hi and this is what happened.”

Snow let them watch the footage of Roxas and Riku in what was coined _Surfgate_. Axel was appalled and Vanitas was in awe. They were beyond stoned and tragically beautiful. It was ridiculous, or in Snow’s words, “Siiick right?” They all laughed and the video soon circulated through the party.

  


Ventus was ripped and Demyx was singing songs to make him laugh. He sang old beach party songs and he did a really good Elvis when he sang The Girl I Never Loved. The closer they got the less Ventus thought about his absent girlfriend and laid his head on Demyx’s shoulder. Demyx sang a Beach Boys song and then stopped abruptly and waited for everyone to realize the music had stopped… and started playing the intro to Island in the Sun by Weezer.

Snow immediately joined in the singing and Olette and Hayner came to join him. After that, Demyx switched to the ipod and the first song that played was Doin Time by Sublime. Snow and Riku started dancing and passing their weed back and forth and Hayner and Olette joined in. It was hypnotic and everyone could tell by the sensual, almost choreographed way they moved as one, that this had been done many times before by the friends.

Everyone joined in the dance and singing with Bob Marley’s Three Little Birds and when Amber by 311 played, Riku did this silly dance with his ass that made Snow, Olette and, Hayner lose it. Apparently there was story there. Riku had no shame in that moment, as he laughed at them, laughing at him. After that song they had a group hug and Hayner was whispering to Riku as Riku nodded his head. Releasing the others, Riku hugged Hayner again and Roxas noticed a pained look on his face as Home by Jack Johnson played. The music picked up after that, and so did the drinking.

Hayner got drunk and was surfing on the coffee table. Sora came back from joyriding in Riku’s new car and when the cops went flying past the house, he said he had no idea why. Everyone was squeaking his duck but he was excited for a whole other reason, he had new people to smell. He approached Olette first, hugging her out of the blue. She squealed and hugged him back. “Oh my god, you’re so adorable! You look like Roxas, which one are you?”

“I’m Sora.”

Her face changed a little but she kept smiling. “They talked about you a lot when they were on Destiny. They seemed to be worried about you but you seem fine to me.”

“I’m good…” Sora nodded and then looked away. Olette felt like she had hit a nerve with him so she did the only thing she could think of, she hugged him.

Sora breathed in deeply. “You smell like the ocean and strawberries.” He mumbled into her hair.

She giggled her thanks, and then whispered, “Can I squeak your duck?”

Sora laughed. “Sure, everyone else has had a turn.” She squeaked his duck and they went for more drinks- sniffing Snow and Hayner would have to wait.

  


In the corner, Demyx decided he was done being passive when it came to Ventus. He knew he could make him happy. They had been chatting and people-watching so when no one was talking to them, Demyx pulled Ventus into a kiss. Ventus kissed him back and mumbled “I’ve missed you.”

Demyx pinned him to the wall and grinned. “Call that bitch right now.” He kissed Ven again. “We’re gonna do this thing right. You’re mine and everyone is gonna know.”

Ventus smiled and took out his phone while across the room money was changing hands.

  
  


Cloud approached the house holding Xion’s hand. “Come in with me, Daddy.” She pouted at him.

“Ok just for a minute and then I have to go. Reno’s already gone back and they’ll be expecting me at ShinRa.” Xion giggled and dragged him inside. The first thing he saw was Roxas in the gown and Riku half out of his wetsuit making out. He turned around to go back out. “This was a bad idea.”

Xion stopped him and handed him a drink she had picked up by the door. “Just one drink to calm you down and I promise I’ll be a good girl and let you go.” She draped a lei around his neck and smiled sweetly.

“Succubus” Cloud accused and drank the entire drink, and then looked at her. _Goddamn pixie_. He thought about the previous night and shook his head. She had him. “Yay!”

Cloud slapped Roxas’ ass as he walked by and said “Behave”.

Riku looked up and yelled, “DADDY’S IN THA HOOUUSE!!!”

Xion started dancing and left Cloud’s side so he began wandering around, drinking. Axel nodded and grinned and Cloud smiled as he approached. “Your brother said he’ll miss you.”

Axel put his hand over his heart. “Every day, man. Every day.”

Cloud nodded. “You two are a force of fucking nature when you’re together. Now that I’ve seen you together, seeing you alone is just…weird.”

“I miss him so much. I love seeing him but when he leaves, God. Damn. It’s hard. I can’t sleep.” Axel said and the sincerity on his face broke Cloud.

“Call him before you go to sleep or somethin.” He offered as he started to remember the few stories Reno had shared about their childhood, and then reached up to touch Axel’s face and rub a thumb across one of his tattoos, his paternal instincts kicking in.

Axel narrowed his eyes. “So can I call you Dad now?”

Cloud laughed and dropped his hand to Axel’s shoulder. “No! You fucking con!”

“But I miss my brother!”

“No!... idiot.”

Cloud was about to walk away when Axel said, “Can I sleep in the big bed with you Daddy?”

“FUUUCK! Look, you…Axel. Just no, okay.”

“Tell me why again?” Axel baited him.

“Because I’m fuckin your twin brother and it would be weird.” Cloud admitted and then took a long drink.

“Aaaaand…” Axel crossed his arms.

“And nothin Red, that’s reason enough.” Cloud said quieter.

Axel raised his eyebrows and gave Cloud his best condescending glare. “You know I’m getting my PhD in…”

“Yes I know, psychology or brainwashing or some shit!”

“Voodoo” Vanitas whispered as he watched the exchange with amusement.

“Ok, maybe I don’t want you calling me Daddy… cuz… oh goddammit!” Cloud was at the end of his rope.

Axel grinned, “Is it because yooouuuu might think about it wheeeenn something intimate is going on and it would be super weird?”

“YES!” Cloud hissed. “Now get outta my fuckin head, you asshole.”

Axel laughed until he had to pee and Cloud walked away to look for Xion and say goodbye, but first he went outside to get some air and cool off before he ended up making Reno an only child. Roxas was out there too, in his gown. “Why’re out here Rox, you’re gonna be sick.”

“I’m good Dad.” Roxas slurred.

“No you’re not, but if I try and talk to you now you won’t remember a word of it. I want you to get some help, Roxas. If you don’t do it on your own, I’ll take you somewhere myself.”

“I won’t remember that tomorrow.” Roxas snarked, knowing that at that very moment Riku was upstairs with a needle in his arm. He didn’t feel his problem was so massive when he thought of Riku.

“Then I will say it again tomorrow. Remember this- don’t make me drag you back to Costa to dry out. I will. And you won’t like it.” Cloud scolded. “Now get your ass inside where it’s sunny and 72. You‘ve got friends who love you, Rox.” He tugged at Roxas’ arm and Roxas turned and hugged him.

“I love you Dad. I’ll clean up, I promise.”

Cloud sighed and held him again like the last time he had said those same words. “I love you.”

  


Back inside Xion was coming his way. “Hey Daddy! I was lookin all over.”

Cloud smiled and picked her up and swung her around. “I’m leaving you, little pixie.”

“Nooooo!”

“Yeeesss. I have to. You don’t need me here and I have obligations. I’m worried about Roxas, he’s not well. I need to look into some treatment for him.” Cloud said solemnly.

“You’re awesome, you know that?” Xion said squeezing him tight. “These boys are so lucky.”

“Thanks, but sometimes I wonder…”

Xion stood on her toes and kissed him. “You’re amazing, and don’t waste a second on anyone who doesn’t think so.” Then she walked away.

Cloud stopped to talk to Riku and Sora about Roxas and then said his goodbyes to the others. He had a feeling he would be back sooner than he planned.

  


Morning came and the Strife house looked like a bomb had gone off inside and out. Demyx and Ventus had ended up together surprising no one, Vanitas and Axel were once again on the pillow pile but this time accompanied by Xion, Roxas, Riku, Hayner, and Snow. Various people were sleeping on the furniture, Zexion had come late and drank himself into a stupor, but surprisingly, didn’t do any drugs. Olette had gone upstairs to squeak Sora’s duck and never returned.


	32. SLEEP

SLEEP

  


The following weeks passed with everyone getting back to work on school, getting wasted on the weekends at Strife House, and getting on with life. Hayner, Olette and Snow had spent a week with them during which time Sora and Olette spent a lot of time in the pillow fort doing god knows what.

Riku had convinced Aerith to leave her freeway home and the more time they spent together the more lucid she became. He purchased an empty store building in the historic part of town and had it renovated. The top floor was left empty, the 2nd and 3rd floors were turned into a two bedroom apartment, and the ground floor storefront became a flower shop.

He recruited the Strife brothers to help him surprise her and it was perfect. She cried and hugged them all, overjoyed at her now huge family. Saying goodbye to her homeless friends, she gave away all the belongings from her cart, Riku helped her bury Sephiroth, and they put the past behind them. _She_ did, anyhow.

Riku had fallen deeper into addiction while Roxas, heeding his dad’s warning, was only smoking. He appeared to be the same old Riku to his friends but Roxas saw it all. He was scared for Riku and worried that he would wake up to find him dead. He was speedballing and it had gotten to the point that Roxas didn’t know how often he was using or how much… because Riku was Riku all the time.

Demyx and Ventus were the epitome of domestic bliss since their reconciliation and commitment, while Axel and Vanitas had done everything but the deed. Vanitas would squeal at the proposal of actual intercourse and run from Axel on a regular basis, making the redhead laugh hysterically. They were in love and everything was beautiful.

Cloud was in and out randomly to check on the boys and attend a party, and to see Xion. Reno had been remanded to desk duty for killing five people when his assignment was only to bring one in for questioning, so he wasn’t around much…

  


In Midgar, Reno was alone again as usual. He could've brought someone home, but he didn't want to. No one could replace the Runt and no one could replace Cloud, so he opted out and left the bar empty handed. Axel was busy with his PhD and Cloud was now attached to the stripper _HE_ had introduced him to... _how smart was that, Red?_ He had asked himself that same question a hundred times a day since then.

Sure, Cloud was old enough to be his dad but that didn't change the fact that they _HAD_ a relationship...even though they didn’t talk much about boundaries of said relationship, they knew what it was...and that in itself was fucked up. But then Reno's life had never been normal.

He had been assigned to Cloud when he was just a baby Turk and flirted with him unmercifully. Only after they had begun sleeping together did Reno learn about the mako experiments that made him look like he was still a twenty-year-old, even twenty years later. He was fascinated but didn't really care about the _why,_ he just thought Cloud was beautiful...and he told him so, often. They had a good thing but it was over now and he needed to move on...but to where?

He was stuck in Midgar and Cloud was in and out for work. He had to face him and act like he didn’t care, like it didn’t hurt, like he didn’t have feelings at all. He could do that. He was a Turk Goddammit. He had often wondered how Cloud really felt about him and now well, he knew. In his entire life the only person who had truly loved him was Axel. He had Baba and Jiji but that was different. They didn’t really know him.

At their apartment in the slums, the redhead lay listening to the sounds of life under plate. He thought of the first time he and Axel went up together to see that shrink and apply for college. Rubbing his phoenix tattoo lightly feeling the scars underneath, he began to remember other things as well.... _Nope!_ He thought. _Not goin there yo_.

Getting back on his feet and reminding himself that insomnia was a symptom that he had medication for, and he really should... _wait when did I start nagging myself?_ Reno chuckled as he made sure his door was locked and headed back out. Hopping the redeye to Twilight Town he was back on the ground in no time and strolling toward campus through the shadows. He didn’t want to disturb his twin, but sometimes the need to be near him was overwhelming.

As he began to walk past the first block of the huge cemetery, he gazed out at the tombstones and mausoleums and noticed that it looked like a city skyline on the hills. It was beautiful in the moonlight so he veered off the sidewalk and slowed his pace. Lighting a smoke, he saw something out of the corner of his eye.

Looking harder at the area where he noticed movement, he thought he could almost make out a face. Staring a moment longer he decided that it was a statue of an angel and he may or may not need glasses.

Reno strolled around the cemetery for over an hour and saw lots of interesting markers and statues of angels...angels praying, angels crying, angels holding babies.

Some of them must have been pretty old because he noticed a few that were in disrepair. One was missing a hand and one was missing the wings... _sad_ he thought. It was still a couple hours until dawn so he sat down atop a tombstone to smoke. Gazing out at the vast cemetery he was amazed that it had survived being this close to a college campus.

College kids liked to party and be destructive, in his experience. But all his experience was with Axel and his friends. Maybe he should have gone to college too... _Nope!_ Reno loved being a Turk. Smiling to himself he stood to walk back the way he had come.

 

Passing back through, he decided to count the angels. 1(broken hand) ...2...3, 4(missing half an arm) ...5.... Eventually he began to see Axel’s face when he found him strung out before he left for college. _Stop it Reno_. _He’s fine_ he told himself _. He’s right over there and he’s fine now._ Taking another drink, he continued counting angels and even stopped to touch a few. It was so dark in the shadows of the mausoleums that he had to squint at some to make out their faces _. Glasses, pfft._

Angel 13 had no wings at all. He walked over for a closer look because he thought it must be old as shit to be broken like it was. This angel lay on its side at the head of a grave with its hands under its face and the wings were missing. It looked small when he saw it but as he got closer, he realized that it was actually life-size.

 _This must have been a more contemporary design_ he thought because this angel wasn’t wearing the typical robe or gown but its clothes still were sculpted to look soft… like pajamas or something. The sculpture was shirtless so he peered at the back to see if he could tell where the wings had been broken off. _Nope…clean break and maybe some weathering had smoothed it out._

Reno sat down by it and took his flask out to have a drink. He toasted the broken angel in its repose and lit a joint. "Pater noster, qui es in cælis, sanctificétur nomen tuum. Advéniat regnum tuum. Fiat volúntas tua, sicut in cælo, et in terra. Panem nostrum cotidiánum da nobis hódie, et dimítte nobis débita nostra sicut et nos dimíttimus debitóribus nostris. Et ne nos indúcas in tentatiónem, sed líbera nos a malo. Amen.”

He thought of days past when he and Axel had been altar boys for Father Creeper and chuckled when he thought of how many times Axel had flipped the bird at the old priest's back and Reno would say, "You're goin ta hell fer that!"

Axel would always scoff at that. Axel had his own hell right here on earth so he figured any other hell that might exist would at least be a break from his every-day one. "I miss you..." He whispered to no one as he thought of his twin. Looking in the direction of Axel's dorm he noticed that there was only an hour or so until dawn.

Reno laid his head against the upright tombstone in the shadow of a white mausoleum, right by the broken angel that he had decided was now his favorite. He thought of all that had gone on around Strife House recently and that poor kid, SephiKu. He had no idea how beautiful he was and he was killing himself with drugs.

The air smelled sweet as a breeze blew past ruffling his hair. Looking around he thought the moonlight shining off the stone markers made them look like they were encrusted with diamonds… thinking of diamonds made him think of Rufus.

 _That_ was a rude awakening. When he was a baby Turk, Rufus was always touching his face and telling him how beautiful he was…but Rufus didn’t really know him either. He was ugly. He had done so many ugly things in his life he felt that they covered anything kind or beautiful that he might have been. But even that seemed like a lifetime ago when he thought about Cloud.

Not willing to start reliving the past with only a tiny bit of liquor left, he finished his smoke, closed his flask and then his eyes. Yawning he thought _...just a short nap_.

  


Snoring woke Riku and he rubbed his eyes as he sat up. He seriously needed to stop taking Ambien…the sleepwalking was going to eventually land him in the quarry. He looked around briefly for the source of the snoring, half thinking that it could’ve been him…it had happened before. Just a few feet away from him, illuminated by the beginning of a beautiful sunrise, was Reno, sound asleep in the cemetery. _Some Turk_ he thought as he grinned at the sleeping redhead. _Something always seems to be missing from this_ _guy,_ Riku thought. _Being a Turk probably requires being at least a little fucked-up so maybe I’m sensing a kindred spirit._

Whatever it was, he was beautiful in the way that a dangerous animal was beautiful. His red hair and pale skin was like an optical illusion almost. You couldn’t just glance at it and look away, you had to look and let your mind turn it over and over while your eyes searched for the secret of it. He and Axel looked so much alike that most people just overlooked the slight differences… like Reno’s softer jawline, and less-feral resting gaze. Riku leaned close to his ear and began to whisper softly. "You're beautiful...and Cloud is an idiot. You may not be ok right now, but one day you'll be fine."

Riku knew the story on the Cloud/Reno/Xion triangle and he felt bad for him even though he didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that they were together and he was left out. _Maybe all he needs is Axel_ , Riku thought and then his mind wandered back to the way Roxas and Sora used to be...or maybe still were…he didn’t know.

Looking longer at the redhead, he thought of how young he actually was even though he acted much older most of the time. What must it be like to be loved by someone who was so strong and smart and in control? He was probably one of those guys who would do anything to be with someone he loved, no matter what he had to walk away from.

That train of thought led him to how he had started out with Roxas and all the grief he would have saved himself if he could have just gotten away long enough to get over him…or if someone else had come along to steal him away. _Could someone have done that?_ Staring at the red tattoos on Reno’s cheeks, he thought… _maybe…someone like you, Red_.

Mentally scolding himself for even thinking such a thing now that he finally had Roxas, he sighed and rubbed his bare arms, chilly and damp from the dew. Looking at Reno once more as the sunrise set the cemetery ablaze with color, Riku thought- _your light is brighter_.

 _Someday Reno will be happy with someone else and Cloud will be with his tired little stripper who will look twice his age in half the time._ "Cloud is an idiot." Riku whispered to him again before he stood, dusted the grass off his gray pajama pants, and quietly walked away toward his dorm.

  


Reno woke with the morning sun mocking his existence. He was stiff from having slept sitting on the ground and he grumbled, "Why do I do this to myself?"

Stretching and scratching his head he noticed that the broken angel he had fallen asleep beside was gone. "What the Fuck?!?"

He looked around to make sure he hadn't sleepwalked to another spot then he laughed to himself. _Some Turk you are...sleeping while someone lifts a fuckin concrete sculpture from right under your nose..._

Reno decided he needed breakfast so he headed out of the cemetery and toward the bus stop. He had a peaceful feeling and for some reason he had the sudden urge to tell Cloud what an idiot he was for dropping him for the stripper. _Hmmph_. _Oh well_ , Reno chuckled to himself, _I'll put that on my list of shit to do!_

 _Number one, tell Cloud he's an idiot. Number two, tell Sephiku he can do better than that fickle little Strife boy who is clearly too much like his daddy. I don’t need Cloud. I don’t need anyone but my brother and I’ll always have him…won’t I? I'm gonna be fine,_ Reno thought as he walked... _I'll meet someone else. After all, I’m not as bad as all that. My inside may be dark but my outside is kinda beautiful. Yeah, I’ll be fine._

  


Sora had pushed Professor Saix into an extended absence for health-related reasons. The day Saix walked in and all the desks were missing and a faux fire pit had been built using books that weren’t in order or said fire pit centered in the room, he left and didn’t return. That night Sora told Olette all about it as they chatted online. He was inside his pillow fort wearing his favorite Mickey Mouse socks and boxers (they matched) and a Finn hat that squashed all his spikes.

Axel had made a lot of progress on his study. It was sad what was going on with Riku and Roxas but unfortunately that was something he had to observe whether he liked it or not. They had begun staying at Riku’s dorm more and more so Axel figured it was getting worse.

6 days prior...

"Roxaaaas... Wake up...wake up and talk to me. I'm lonely Roxaaas." Riku's voice began as a plea and ended in a whine, bringing Roxas out of a dead sleep.

"What is it baby? I'm awake. I'm sorry." Roxas was rubbing his eyes when suddenly he was thrust back onto the bed and pounced by Riku. He had been snorting coke while Roxas slept. The blonde smiled as his boyfriend groped and kissed and bit and teased while he mentally prepared for a long night.

The next morning, they both had a bump before going to class because they hadn’t gone back to sleep the previous night. After lunch Roxas went to Sawyer for a nap before his 2:00 class but as soon as he started to doze, the door banged open and Riku came in, wired.

"Hey baby." Roxas mumbled half asleep. Riku's reply came in the form of kisses, making Roxas smile. They snorted more coke and fucked, then showered and fucked, then went to afternoon classes. Each day was a repeat of the last and Riku wasn’t sleeping. By Wednesday he wasn’t able to go to class and had been talking nonsense since a little after midnight. He claimed that a cricket had been talking to him and said some very profound things, and that there was a talking duck, a dog, and even Winnie-the-Pooh.

Roxas was falling asleep sitting up and refused to do any more coke to stay awake. He was sick from lack of sleep and sore from sex but he was also scared that death would be the only thing that could slow Riku down.

Riku moved furniture at 3:00 a.m., he turned the thermostat down to 60 (it was October), he called Xemnas, and he called his mom. He called Hayner who tried to talk him into taking Nembutal or Ambien to get some sleep. He called Snow who had him cackling like an idiot while he sat in the bathtub with bubbles...and did more coke.

Roxas begged him to stop so he could sleep but he wouldn't have it… and started crying but Roxas stopped him. On Thursday night he tried to cut his wrists but Roxas stopped him. He said he wanted to swim in the quarry but Roxas stopped him. He got pissed at Roxas over and over because he stopped his fun or stopped him from dying and Roxas had reached the end of his rope. The blonde was exhausted, and had even thought of calling Xemnas himself at one point.

  


Friday around noon, Roxas fell asleep while watching Riku play video games with bloody tissue stuffed up his nose. Neither of them had been to class in days. He woke to Riku yelling that he _didn't love him_ again and he _wanted to die_ again and he _couldn't find something to_ _cut himself with_ again. Roxas sat up just as the door slammed. Riku was gone.

"Oh shit!" Adrenaline kicked in as Roxas jerked on some sweats and bolted out the door with no shirt and barefoot yelling "Riku! Wait!"

Roxas ran across the cold wet grass in pursuit of his boyfriend who was headed for the quarry wearing only a pair of silk boxers. Catching up to him, he grabbed his arm and jerked him around "Stop! Goddammit Riku! I'm fucking tired of this shit!"

"Leave me alone and let me die. I wanna be still and quiet and have peace. I don't wanna be here anymore!" Riku ranted as he jerked away from Roxas. His skin was clammy and getting wetter by the second from blowing mist that didn’t quite qualify as rain, and he was sweating profusely.

"What about me, you asshole!?" Roxas screamed "You'd just leave me here alone!? What would I do without you Riku?!"

That question swung Riku the other way and he quieted, putting his hands over his face. He growled and groaned, and then dropped his hands to his sides. Chills were standing all over him and he was beginning to shiver. “I’m sorry, Rox.”

Roxas wrapped his arms around him and said softly as he prayed his next words wouldn’t set him off again, “Let’s go back and go to bed, ok baby?”

Riku nodded and Roxas sighed, still afraid to get his hopes up. Back at the dorm, Roxas went to start the shower. Riku needed a hot shower and dry clothes. He was so intent on taking care of Riku that he hadn’t noticed that his own sweats were damp and his feet were numb from the cold as well.

“Come with me, Rox…” Riku said as he stepped into the shower. Roxas obeyed, too tired to argue over anything else.

“I love you, baby.” Riku said as he gently washed Roxas’ back. “I’m sorry I’ve been such an asshole…I don’t deserve you.”

Roxas stood with his head down trying to think of something to say. Sleep deprivation and stress had shredded any semblance of sanity he had and all he wanted was sleep. “I love you too.”

After their shower of course Riku reached for his coke but Roxas stopped him. “Enough.”

Riku looked at him, instantly enraged and shoved him away from his drugs. “I’m just getting a bump.” He growled.

“You _don’t need_ a bump, you _need_ sleep.” Roxas said as he approached him again. “Let’s cook, ok. I’ll bang some with you and then we sleep…alright?”

Riku watched Roxas warily with miserably bloodshot eyes as he went to the closet and got his gear. Roxas mumbled back to him, “I’m tired, I need…something…and I need sleep.”

“But you’re clean Rox…don’t fuck it up.” Riku said and then Roxas heard a sniff…sniff.

He spun to face Riku, “What fuckin good has it done me to get clean, Riku?! You have been balls out wired for a fuckin week, I’ve ditched so many classes I’m gonna have an incomplete in at least one, and I hurt all over from lack of sleep and being fucked day and night because you’ve been wired for a _fuckin_ _week_! Did I mention YOU’VE BEEN WIRED FOR A FUCKIN WEEK?!”

By the time Roxas had finished yelling, he was in Riku’s face. Riku shoved him hard with both hands and Roxas fell against the bedside table. He hissed in pain but Riku had turned away. “Get outta here if you’re so fuckin miserable!”

Roxas shook his head and picked up a hoodie to put on. Panicking, Riku stopped him. “I didn’t mean it Rox. I’m sorry…I don’t want you to go. Don’t go…please. Stay ok. I’ll go to bed and sleep. I will.”

Roxas stared at him feeling hopeless. He remembered vaguely having heard that promise many times prior that same week. “Do whatever, Riku…I’m goin to the house to sleep.”

“Don’t _leave_ me Roxas! _Please_ don’t leave me! I love you Rox…I’m so sorry!” Riku started to cry again. Roxas thought of all the times he had pushed Riku away and lied about even knowing him, much less having a relationship with him. The guilt ate at his guts so with the pain in his shoulder forgotten, he went to him and wrapped him in loving arms…again, walked him gently toward the bed…again, and then undressed and got his ass reamed…again.

  


Getting up after, to get Riku some water, as was his new habit, he noticed that he was lying still with his eyes closed. Quickly and quietly he grabbed a bottle of water and slipped into the bathroom. Turning on the tap in the sink for noise cover, he took his Ambien from the medicine cabinet and crushed one before putting it into the bottle. Returning to the bed, he spoke quietly and handed Riku the bottle nonchalantly before crawling into bed to snuggle.

“Thanks baby.” Riku said as he chugged the water greedily. Roxas yawned and lay his head against his chest when he lay back down. “What day is it?”

“It’s Friday.” Roxas mumbled, already beginning to doze.

Roxas woke with a jolt, but this time it was because Riku had finally fallen asleep and was snoring like a bulldozer. Poking him gently with one finger Roxas waited for a reaction but got none so he rolled Riku to his side and the snoring quieted a few decibels. The blonde slid out of bed and dressed. He didn’t want to abandon his boyfriend but more than that, he didn’t want to be there when the Ambien wore off.

Quietly he picked up his board and left for home. He skated to Strife House feeling like a ghost of the person he had been a week earlier and dragged up the steps. Inside he made himself something to eat and tried to keep his eyes open while he chewed.

After having been in the chilled dorm for days, Strife House felt almost too warm to him so he shed his hoodie just as Axel walked in.

The redhead demanded to know how Roxas got the ugly bruise on his shoulder. Not wanting to deal with the fallout from explaining that he had been abused by his coked-up boyfriend, he made up a story that would be believable. He told him that Riku was junk sick and he had fallen in the bathroom and taken Roxas down with him.

Axel nodded, obviously off his game at lie detecting or knowing that Roxas was lying but didn’t think he would get the truth if he asked for it, he wrapped him in a warm hug. Just for a second Roxas thought that he would have been better off if he had tried to have something with the shrink, but that soon passed when he thought of Riku.

He loved him…didn’t he? Looking up at Axel he wondered how long Riku would sleep. Petting and cooing over the blonde, Axel persuaded him to lie down on the pillows. As soon as he was comfortable Roxas began to doze.

Falling asleep felt just like that, falling, and when you were this tired, falling really fast but never hitting the ground. His three brothers had joined him on the pillows and instantly his defenses fell. Snuggling close and reaching for Sora’s hand, he reveled in the warm safety of their nearness, and he slept.


	33. CONSEQUENCES AND REPERCUSSIONS

CONSEQUENCES AND REPERCUSSIONS

  


Halloween weekend was huge. Sora was dressed as Jack Skellington and Olette showed up as Sally. Reno got a reprieve from work and came as Thing 1 and of course Axel was Thing 2. Rude came along to keep Reno out of trouble and was a very impressive Kratos. Hayner was Link and Snow was Master Chief. Vincent came as Chaos and everyone was impressed with his ‘costume’. Cloud was wearing a wolf suit and it was no surprise when Xion came in as Little Red Riding Hood. Vanitas was a biker, leather pants and all. Demyx and Ventus were Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love- It wasn’t hard to get Ventus back into a slip anyhow. Riku and Roxas showed up late, but everyone had grown accustomed to their unpredictability.

Cloud’s phone buzzed and he pulled it from his furry pocket to see a text from Roxas that said _‘don’t panic dad, I love u’_. He looked around confused, and then he saw it. Roxas was wearing an old cadet uniform, complete with that godforsaken scarf. As soon as he caught Cloud looking at him, he turned to face him as if to say _‘look at me’_. Cloud smiled and started making his way over when Riku walked up behind him and leaned over his shoulder to speak into his ear.

Cloud stopped walking and breathing at once. He couldn’t make his feet move. Roxas had looked away as Riku spoke to him but seeing his silver hair fall across the pauldrons of the uniform was bad enough- seeing him so close to Roxas in the cadet uniform was surreal and he began to feel dizzy. He took a couple deep breaths while they talked and then went on over to face the memories. By the time he stopped in front of Roxas, he had calmed down considerably. “Rox, you look just like me!”

Roxas beamed. “Pretty cool, huh. But this scarf though, ugh.”

Cloud laughed “Trust me I know… and Riku is gonna give me nightmares for a week.”

Riku turned around when he heard his name. “Look at Mom! Isn’t she beautiful?” There was Aerith in a pink dress, red jacket, and boots, holding a small flower basket. Cloud was speechless, but then she hugged him and everything was ok again.

They all talked about the other costumes but Cloud’s eyes kept wandering back to Riku in the long leather coat. He felt compelled to ask how he came by such a realistic replica but was afraid to try and engage in one on one conversation because he would have to meet those eyes. _Then again_ , he thought, _it might help since Riku’s eyes are different._

“Wow, Riku that costume is…wow.” Riku looked into his eyes and Cloud gasped.

“It was the weirdest thing. Mom called me and said some things had been delivered for me at her place. It was a bunch of his things: a couple uniforms, pictures, books, and his sword. I haven’t gone through it all yet… anyhow, I thought it would be cool to walk in his shoes so to speak. What better time than Halloween, right?” Riku smiled but Cloud was just gawking. “Oh, I picked up the contacts at the mall.” Riku nodded once as if to snap Cloud out of his trance.

Cloud nodded and kept staring into the green cat eyes staring back at him.

Sensing his nervousness, Riku hugged him. “I’m sorry if I freaked you out.”

The smell of the leather choked him but he couldn't step away or stop the flood of memories: _the first embrace in the VR room, sparring, showers, sleeping, fucking, cooking, shopping, laughing, crying, fighting, dying_.

Cloud dropped his arms and walked outside into the yard, around to the side of the house, unzipping his costume and trying to breathe.

 

Soon he was joined by a very concerned red riding hood. "How's my big bad Daddy wolf?"

He spun around to face her and she could see his chest rise and fall as he got his breathing under control. His cheeks were wet with tears and she reached for his hand. "Cloud?"

He grabbed her and pulled her to him for a bruising kiss, groping at her cape and shoving it from where it hung between them. She knew he had been holding back with her and this was what she had been after. She didn’t know what finally broke him down… and she really didn’t care. Pushing the wolf suit down around his waist, she dug at his shirt, her nails catching his skin.

Cloud pulled her top off and squeezed her breasts as he walked backward still holding her against him, into the shadows. She clawed at his back and he moaned and pulled her short skirt up, ripping it. He bent to suck her breast and bit her nipple making her cry out and she hurriedly wiggled her underwear down and stepped out of them, just as he shoved her legs apart with his knee. He had stomped out of the furry costume and was only wearing ball shorts so she shoved them down as he slipped two fingers inside her. She moaned and he bit her neck then kissed the bruised skin. She grabbed his cock and rubbed it against her wet inner thighs and hissed "Don't hold back now."

On auto, he picked her up and pressed her to the siding of the house as she wrapped her legs around him. He grunted and pulled her arms up around his neck for her to hold, then pulled her legs loose from his waist and hooked his arms under knees. She whined as he kissed her and squeezed her breasts too hard, he entered her roughly and ignored her teeth and nails. He could feel her gripping him as she had her first orgasm while he pounded her harshly against the side of the house, feeling the wetness coating them. His sweat-dampened skin had begun to chill in the cool October night but neither seemed to notice or care.

 

Xion couldn't breathe. This was more than just sex, more than just release. He touched every inch of her and all she could do was hold onto him. "Cloud" she cried out again and he felt her shudder against him. She sucked at his throat and his hands were tightening on her ass as he fucked her harder. She called his name again and felt the swell of him inside her as he came. Only then did he finally relent, his thrusts became gentler and he released her legs but she wrapped them back around his waist to keep him inside her for the moment. He kissed her deeply and turned so that his own back was against the wall but didn’t release her.

She kissed his face and neck and he could feel her tightening around him again. He moaned her name and she bucked hips against him. He rubbed her back where he had her pressed to the wall earlier as if to make amends for any damage he might have done. Xion couldn't get enough of his lips and kissed him more eagerly, then whispered "Take me home."

She could feel him getting hard again as he whispered back "Okay..."

Loosening her legs from him, she groaned as they pulled away from each other. He tugged up his shorts and looked at her ruined costume and she pulled her cape around to try and cover herself but it wasn't enough.

"Here put this on" he said and she giggled as he helped her into the wolf suit and zipped her up snugly. He grabbed his beater off the ground and put it on and they slipped around the house unseen and into his car. As they drove away he sent a text his kids: BBW ran off with LRRH. C U tmrw. Love Dad

  
Inside Strife House the boys were checking their phones and grinning. "Is that a thing now?" Roxas asked Riku who shrugged. "Reno don't seem to mind."

Reno and Axel were dancing Things and it was ridiculous.

  
  


Later, Vincent watched silently as Riku removed the long leather coat and gloves. He didn't bother with the straps or anything further. All he needed was to reach his veins. The former Turk watched as Riku went through his ritual and injected the drugs, and then he stepped out of the shadows.

"Riku" Vincent growled. "Do you think this would make your father proud?" He held Riku's limp arm out inspecting the tracks.

Riku looked at the tracks then at Vincent, trying to decide of he was real or an hallucination. "Whadda you care?"

"You are the son of my son. My blood. You are a part of me. Why would I not care?" Vincent looked like Vincent but his eyes were a creepy yellow and it scared Riku.

"I can quit. Just let me have this. I'll be clean by Thanksgiving, you'll see." Riku slurred as he started to nod, and Vincent touched his head and disappeared from the room.

Downstairs everyone was winding down and Roxas knew Riku would be impaired. He had gotten used to mentally preparing himself before he checked on him- he always expected the worst and tonight was no different.

After he dropped Aerith home, he went into his room and found Riku sleeping, needle on the floor beside him. He sighed, relieved that he had made it one more day, and lay down exhausted.

  


Snow had decided to go home with a cheerleader. Jack and Sally were getting freaky in the blanket fort. Things 1&2 were passed out on the pillows and Hayner was asleep on the kitchen island. As everyone slept the morning away, Riku slipped out and drove downtown, and called Lexaeus.

"Riku! Thought you were getting out?"

"I am. Just not yet, ok?"

"Ok. I'm at the bar."

Riku scored enough drugs to sell on campus and headed back. Vincent was standing on the street buying a newspaper and saw him drive by. He checked his watch and then made a phone call. Minutes later, Riku was pulled over by the police and searched, and was hauled away.

 

The police didn’t take him to the LEC like he expected. Instead they took him to a private inpatient rehabilitation facility. Scanning the exterior of the posh establishment, Riku wondered who was waiting inside. _It has to be Cloud or Vincent_ he thought bitterly. _They just want me away from Roxas._

The officers opened the door for him and helped him out. All he had put on before leaving Strife house was the leather pants he had worn at the party and his black Vans that stayed at Roxas' place. He didn't feel the cold through his early morning buzz.

Waiting for them to remove the cuffs, he stood looking at the rehab center that looked like a spa. _This wouldn’t be Cloud’s doing_. They escorted him inside, still in cuffs. As he looked around at the lush lobby he noticed that a familiar looking man rose from the ugly, yet expensive floral sofa and started toward him.

“Fuck me" Riku mumbled.

Standing there immaculate in his white linen suit was The Man. "Well...I would say it's good to see you again but under the circumstances...a bit inappropriate."

"Mr. ShinRa" Riku greeted him flatly.

"You may take these cuffs off now. I don't think he's a flight risk." Rufus ordered the officers who removed the restraints but stayed on either side of him.

"Mr. Valentine, let me get right to the point. As you know your father was a great man who represented my company _flawlessly_ until that ...unfortunate incident at Nibelheim. I do not intend to have another _unfortunate incident_ reflect badly on my company.” Rufus was slowly approaching Riku as he spoke. “NOW you have two choices. Stay here and recover. OR stay here and don't. If you choose the latter I'm afraid we will have to move you to a more _permanent_...facility." He looked Riku up and down as if assessing how much he actually resembled his father.

Riku stared at the man in white. _Was it really already that widely known or was this a preemptive strike on the part of ShinRa._ Riku knew he had nothing to bargain with and he couldn't deny that he had a problem. He silently nodded then dropped his eyes.

"Alright! Glad we agree on that Sss...Riku. Sorry about that. It's just, well seeing you there with the guards looking all broken, it's just too much like him."

Riku growled at Rufus bearing his teeth.

Rufus squawked and said, "So sexy!"

He turned to the guards and addressed them. "Take him. The paperwork is all done."

  


Riku was taken from the lobby that resembled a 4-star hotel into a very sterile examination room. The two officers stood outside the door and he was ordered to sit on the exam table. Not 5 minutes had passed when a nurse came in. She was a little blonde hottie who smiled a lot. "I need to get a little blood from you, Mr. Valentine."

"Okay" he murmured as she started looking for a vein and he watched with dark amusement. She abandoned his left arm immediately, and looking over his right arm, she tried once and again as he began to doze off.

When he woke, she was talking again. He had a bandage on his bicep and realized he had probably blown a lot of good veins and was undoubtedly dehydrated.

The pretty nurse called his name until she got lucid eye-contact. "Your veins were being stubborn so I had to go high."

Riku smiled and said "S’okay"

The nurse cooed. "Oh god, you have a beautiful smile!"

Riku chuckled, "Thanks."

She leaned over him where he lay on the table and he instinctively reached up and put his hand into her hair. She removed it. "You know Mr. Valentine if you need anything when you're settled I can get it for you, within reason of course."

“Of course.” he mimicked.

“Can you sit up for me please, Mr. Valentine?”

“Please call me Riku…especially if we’re going to be seeing a lot of one another.” He said condescendingly.

She eyed him suspiciously as she listened to his breathing and his heart, then took his blood pressure and temperature before stepping over to retrieve a plastic bag and a robe that looked like something from Xemnas’ closet. Tucking the items under her arm, she turned to him, “Follow me, please.”

 

Riku followed with his feet but his mind was on _Roxas and who would take care of his mom. She needed help with her flower orders and Roxas oh god. Would he find comfort somewhere else_? “How long am I gonna be here miss…” Riku peered around to look at her name tag. _Are you fucking kidding me,_ he thought. “...Rikku.”

“I don’t have that information Riku, I’m sorry. Someone will be in to speak with you once you’re settled. Right now I’m taking you to your rooms to get cleaned up and changed. The doctor will see you then.” Rikku informed him as they strolled leisurely down the hallway. “Mr. ShinRa has made sure you have every comfort during your stay with us.”

Riku dropped his head mumbling as they passed a glass wall and he smelled chlorine. He stopped abruptly, making the nurse backtrack to put her hand on his forearm. “There will be time for swimming later.” She smiled.

His suite was tastefully decorated but it still smelled clinical. He had a bedroom, a sitting room, and a bathroom, much smaller than his suite at the mansion on Destiny but far larger than his dorm, and light years better than a cell.

Rikku gave him the robe and plastic bag. “Here you are, Riku. You may look around a bit before you shower but please don’t be too long. The doctor will be in shortly. Have a nice stay.”

He glanced around feeling trapped and a bit panicky. “When can I call my mom?”

She looked him over, trying to hide the pity in her eyes and spoke softly, “You can ask the doctor about that. I haven’t been made aware of your situation. I’m only here to check your vitals and get you situated. I’m sorry I can’t be much help until you’ve seen the doctor.”

“My situation is, I got shanghaied by the cops and shoved into club med here, cause they think I need help. The reality is, nobody knows where I am and my mom needs me …and I wanna see my boyfriend.” He snapped.

“I think Mr. ShinRa will probably take care of informing everyone who needs to know of your whereabouts.” Rikku said with her eyes on the floor at his feet.

“Whatever. Thanks.” Riku started for the bathroom, already taking off his pants as Rikku scurried away to get the doctor.

  


Roxas woke before lunch to check on Riku but he was already gone. He went to crawl in bed with Sora but Olette had stayed over. Ven was at Demyx’s dorm and Axel was in bed with Vanitas, so he dragged downstairs to crash on the sofa. As soon as his head hit the pillow there was a knock at the door. “Come in!’ He yelled from the sofa not willing to get up.

“Roxas”

His eyes flew open and he sat up. “Uncle Vince, what’s up?”

Vincent sat down beside him. “I came to tell you that Riku has been arrested but…”

“Oh my god” Roxas insides turned to molten lava “What happened, holy shit. He’s sick. He needs…”

“Let me finish! He’s been taken to a rehabilitation facility where he can get cleaned up. The kid is a fucking mess Roxas, and he had just bought more drugs when they took him.”

Roxas sat with his face in his hands. He remembered Riku being under the bed when they were on Destiny and he started to panic. “I need to be with him Uncle Vince. He needs me, you don’t understand.” Roxas panted.

“I understand that he’s sick and is going to be well cared for. I also understand that you have a friend who’s a psychologist and you need to confide in him, and take whatever advice he gives you. He may appear to be an idiot but he cares for you.” Vincent sniffed. “And you guys need to take a weekend off from this… merriment. You all look like a bunch of burn-outs.”

Roxas stared and mouthed the words ‘bunch of burn outs’. “So where is he and how soon can I see him?”

Vincent shook his head and stood to leave, “He’s at Atlantica Place and it’s up to the doctor when you can see him Roxas. Realistically, it could be 30 days before you are allowed to visit, but he may be permitted to call you. The thing to remember here is that Riku will be cared for. He could’ve been tossed into a cell or the state hospital.”

Roxas nodded. “What about Aerith?”

“I’ll look after her. I’m under no obligation to ShinRa so I can be here as long as I’m needed.”

  
  


Upstairs Vanitas was up and washing his face. “I think it got up my nose this time.”

Axel laughed. “If you would let me get that ass, it wouldn’t go up your nose anymore.” He approached Vanitas, still naked. “Look at it…its perfect.” He traced the curve of Vanitas’ ass with a fingertip and Vanitas looked over his shoulder.

“Yeah and you wanna wreck it with that monster of yours.” He grumbled.

Axel grinned and went back to the bedside to get his jeans. “I won’t wreck you baby. I may spoil you, but I promise I won’t wreck you.”

Vanitas tackled him onto the bed and Axel laughed, holding his lit cigarette aloft. “You’re crazy Vani, and I’m afraid I’ve fallen hopelessly in love with you.”

Vanitas looked at him sternly “Don’t fuckin say that unless you mean it.”

“I do” Axel traced his cheek, then brushed his finger over his lips and the steel rings that taunted him. “I love you, Vanitas.”

Vanitas still looked agitated but his glare softened somewhat at Axel’s confession. He bit his lip as he thought and laid his head on Axel’s shoulder while he resumed his smoking. “That scares me.”

“Why?” Axel queried even though he already had a pretty good idea.

“I’ve never really cared about…I mean I never…that’s a lot of pressure…I mean knowing how you feel. I feel like I have to be perfect so you will always love me.” Vanitas confessed.

Axel smiled thinking that Vanitas was only a tiny bit more articulate than his father. “You’re perfect just the way you are. I fell in love with the person I see every day. You don’t need to do anything except…don’t lie to me, Vani. If you ever want out of this relationship tell me, don’t lie to me.”

Vanitas snuggled Axel as they lay and he thought about the future and smiled.


	34. ATLANTICA

ATLANTICA

  


Riku showered and dressed in the robe to wait for the doctor but dozed off on the sofa. He woke to find a large man placing a tray of food on the table in front of him and tried to sit up but he felt like his body was made of lead. Lolling his head to the side, he started to speak but his mouth wouldn’t cooperate. He dragged his sleeve up to rub his face and noticed the hospital bracelets that weren’t there when he fell asleep. “How long” Riku tried licking his lips and getting his eyes to focus “been asleep?”

The nurse looked at him and smiled pleasantly. “Today is Tuesday, Mr. Riku. You were sedated shortly after the doctor came to see you because you went into hysterics. You spent the majority of your semi-waking state serenading the staff with your own x-rated version of Roxanne, and various other ditties. You need to try and eat something today. The doctor will be in to see you soon.” He bent down in his crisp white uniform, propped Riku up and scotched him with a pillow, then left.

Riku’s head dropped back and he was out again. When he woke again there was in fact a doctor there standing over him. He struggled to focus again but the speech came a little easier. “S’up.” He slurred. “Thanks for givin me tha good shit. Don’t even remember meetin you before.”

The doctor looked at him and then sat in a chair opposite the sofa. “We haven’t met before. You saw Dr. Nelson on Sunday when you were brought in. I’m Dr. Xehanort.”

Riku looked for the food tray that had mysteriously disappeared during his nap. “I’m hungry…” he mumbled more to himself than the doctor, then tried to stand but decided it wasn’t worth the effort. _I’ll wait for the Dr. to leave then crawl to the bathroom._

The doctor approached Riku with a needle saying, “Mr. Valentine this is going to help you wake up a bit…you need to eat and drink and walk. Things like that, yes?”

Riku nodded as the old creeper gave him the shot. He felt warmth coursing through him and then everything started to become more lucid. He rubbed his face. “Can I eat now?”

The doctor chuckled and picked up his clipboard. “Absolutely Mr. Valentine. I’ll send Luxord in.”

  
  


Out in the lobby Roxas was fidgeting beside Cloud. “Stop it” Cloud scolded. “Keep that up and they’re gonna keep your ass here too.”

Roxas stuck out his tongue. “Thanks for comin with me, Dad.”

“No problem Rox. I wanna see him get better too.”

The doctor came out and shook hands with Roxas and Cloud. “Mr. Strife, it’s an honor sir.”

Roxas smiled at his dad. He was proud of him and the fact that people recognized him and appreciated his military service. Cloud nodded. “This is my son, Roxas. He was hoping to see his friend today. He hasn’t been here very long so if it’s not permitted we understand.”

“All our patients have individual rules for visitation Mr. Strife. Who is it that you would like to see?” He addressed Roxas with the second question.

“Riku Valentine, sir.”

The doctor looked thoughtful for a moment, then spoke. “There was an incident involving one of our doctors and Mr. Valentine shortly after he was brought in and normally I would restrict all visitations. But since you have your esteemed father with you I’ll allow it. If Mr. Valentine becomes agitated I’ve no doubt your father can subdue him.”

Roxas nodded and they were escorted to Riku’s rooms. The doctor checked his watch. “Normally visits are 30 minutes this early into treatment but I’ll allow an hour so long as he behaves.”

“Thank you, doctor.” Roxas said shook his hand and the doctor nodded to them both and left them there. Roxas knocked softly on the very nondescript door bearing only the number two. No response. He knocked again. Nothing. Cloud cocked an eyebrow and opened the door to an empty room. When they went inside, they could hear the shower so Cloud sat down and popped in his earbuds as Roxas sprinted toward the bathroom.

Riku was rinsing his hair when he heard the bathroom door open and close. “Hey whatever it is, can it wait til I’m outta the shower?” he barked as the steamy shower door opened and in stepped a very nervous and very naked Roxas. “No, it absolutely cannot wait.”

“Oh baby!” Riku cried as he attacked him with kisses and he couldn’t tell the shower water from tears as they kissed. Riku grabbed his legs and pressed him to the shower wall and Roxas cried out involuntarily as Riku slathered his hands with anything he could find in the shower and sunk two fingers into him. Cloud turned up the volume on his ipod.

Riku fucked him against the tile unmercifully, like he always did and it wasn’t long before they were panting and shaking. He stroked Roxas to completion before he brutally came to his own and they slid down the wall to sit in the shower letting the hot water spray away their mess. Riku sat against the shower wall and pulled Roxas onto his lap. “I’m sorry, Rox. I’m so so sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry, just get better and come home to me.” Roxas kissed his face, neck, and his lips again. Riku sucked at his tongue and Roxas could feel him getting hard again.

“How long do we have?” He husked as he squeezed Roxas’ ass hard enough to make him wince.

“About half an hour now… maybe 40 minutes.” Roxas said softly licking Riku’s ear then biting it.

“Bed?” Riku asked hopefully.

“Yesss” Roxas hissed.

  


“I don’t wanna be away from you Rox. I hate it.” Riku said as he kissed Roxas’ hands and fingers.

“I hate it too. Don’t cry, Riku. I love you.” Roxas couldn’t take the tears on his lover’s cheeks, so he did the one thing he knew that would make it better. Crawling over him on the narrow bed, he ground his ass against Riku’s erection and gave him a devious look. “I know what you’ll be thinkin about while we’re apart…”

He turned so that his back was to Riku and immediately felt hands on his ass. “Mmm, you goddamn got that right baby.” Riku giggled so Roxas ground against him again. “Rox I don’t have any…”

“Don’t even worry about it, I’ve still got enough hair conditioner in my ass that if I had hair back there it would be runway ready. Just fuck me, Riku.” Roxas said as rose up a bit on his knees and looked back over his shoulder.

  


He watched the muscles work in his back and the curve of his ass as he rode him. He loved the way it jiggled just a tiny bit and the squeaking sound Roxas made when he slapped it. Needing more contact Riku sat up and grabbed Roxas’ thighs pulling them farther apart and taking his cock in his hand to stroke and squeeze. Roxas cried out again as he came… and Cloud turned up his music again and turned on the TV as well.

Riku lay back and Roxas leaned forward arching his back to offer Riku a view that he didn’t often get time to appreciate. “Oh Goddamn Rox, that’s beautiful.” Riku groaned as he touched where they were joined. “Fffuuuuck”

Roxas rode out Riku’s orgasm as he cursed and bucked against him and after sitting for a moment to get his breath while Riku caressed his ass and cooed about how gorgeous it was, he lay down by him to stroke his chest. “Have they said how long you’re gonna be here?”

“Hopefully only a month. I know that’s a long time but I really don’t have a choice, baby.” Riku said as he stroked his cheek.

“We gotta go soon.” Roxas kissed him.

“We?” Riku felt heat creep up his face.

“Dad came with me, moral support and all. I’m glad too. They may not have let me see you if it weren’t for the doctor recognizing Dad.” Roxas said passively. “Speaking of, he’s sitting out there waiting, you should say hi or something. He was worried about you.”

Riku nodded and grabbed a pair of gray pajama pants from a drawer that appeared to contain numerous pairs of the same item. Roxas dressed and they went out to greet Cloud who was listening to his ipod on blast with the TV on and his eyes screwed shut. They laughed and touched his shoulder to let him know the horror was over. “Hi Dad.” Riku grinned.

  


Axel’s phone buzzed as he ate lunch with Vanitas. It was Reno.

Reno: sup Runt?

Axel: eatin, sup wit u

Reno: a lil bummed. U got time to hang out

Axel: always

Reno: pick u up?

Axel: yep, gimme 15

Reno: NP

Axel hopped into Reno’s car and they headed off campus. “So what’s up bro?” Axel wasn’t used to seeing Reno bummed out.

“I’m officially not seein Cloud anymore. Said he and Xion are gonna be a thing, so… It’s my own fault though, Runt. I shoulda known better than ta get involved with a bi-sexual who has mommy issues.” As high as the highs were for the moody redhead, the lows were low, to scale.

Axel sat quietly and took Reno’s hand. He didn’t have to say anything. Reno smiled. “Wanna go shoot stuff?”

“Hell YES!” Axel yelled as they headed for the gun range.

  


Ventus stood in front of the refrigerator in his slip. His hair bows itched his head a little but he didn’t feel like taking it all down. Demyx walked up behind him and hugged him close kissing his shoulder. “I gotta go, baby.”

“Okay” Ventus closed the fridge without taking anything out and turned into the arms of his love. “Back later?”

“Yep, dinner?”

“Yep, love you.” Ventus smiled as thought about how happy he was… happier than he had ever been… and he had wasted all that time being stubborn.

“Love you too.” Demyx gave him a kiss goodbye and walked away, thinking of how happy he was… happier than he had ever been in his life… his entire life.

  


The Strife made plans to take dinner out to Riku at Atlantica. He had been behaving and only had one fight after the initial doctor incident. An orderly was late with his shot and when he showed up, Riku was on the bathroom floor having vomited up everything except his entrails. He looked down at the suffering Riku, smirked “All hail Sephiroth, hmm?”

Riku rolled up a blue-green eye to focus before pouncing on the orderly and using his face to smash his shower door, nearly killing him. After that, medication came promptly and a new regimen was secretly added to his meds by one Mr. Rufus ShinRa…mako injections ‘ _just to get_ _him over the hump and on his way to recovery’_.

Everyone crowded into Riku’s quarters for Thanksgiving. Aerith had cooked a mountain of food and they even flew Snow and Hayner out. Olette had decided to transfer to TU mid semester to be with Sora but no one had bothered to inform the recovering addict.

Riku was emotional, but happy. This was his first _real_ family Thanksgiving. Cloud and Xion came along and Axel had invited Reno, who declined. He had asked Axel to pass on that he would be over to see him as soon as he was out.

Snow flirted with Rikku and got her number. Hayner seemed lost and after they finished dinner and everyone was leaving, Riku turned to him. “Hayner, can you and Snow hang out a while? Lux said I have the entire day.”

Hayner turned to Snow and he nodded.

“Cool, come with me, there’s something we have to do before I get outta here in a couple weeks.”

They followed Riku through the halls until they smelled the chlorine and their faces lit up. “Pool?” Hayner chirped.

Riku opened the double doors to the swimming area, and they all walked in. He pointed to the opposite end of the vast aquatic complex and said simply “SurfStream.” They changed and grabbed boards and hit the artificial ocean. It wasn’t the beach but they were home and they were together.

  


The Strife managed their Riku-less time by cleaning up, mostly, and staying out of trouble… kind of. "Th th th this is n n n n nnnn a bad idea." Demyx stuttered as he and Ventus approached the movie theatre entrance. He had been enjoying domestic bliss at Strife House and had skipped his meds one too many times.

"It'll be fine, Dem. The weekend crowds are normally loud so if you have an outburst, no one will even notice.

"Goddamnfuckshitbullballs!!Balls!Balls!" Demyx yelled and Ventus giggled. "Don’t be nervous, that just makes it worse."

"Th th that's like t t t telling ssssomeone with d d d diarrhea n n not ttttt ttttttt shit!" Demyx laughed but followed Ventus inside anyway.

The movie began and immediately the crowd hushed. Demyx began to fidget so Ventus turned his face to him for a passionate kiss. "Just forget about all these people...it's just us, ok."

Demyx smiled, his eyes all goofy as his heart melted. "I I I I ..."

"I love you too baby." Ventus grinned. "Wanna spend the night tonight?"

Demyx nodded vigorously and hissed, "W w w wear th the sssssslip?"

Ventus nodded and snuggled close to him to watch Annabelle.

Demyx tried to keep his focus on Ventus and not become engrossed in the movie...but it was such a good movie...

  


Vanitas was lying in bed smoking a fatty while he finished a paper for his medieval lit class when his phone buzzed. "Not now, Dem..." He mumbled at the noisy device and ignored the call before going back to his work.

A few seconds later, his phone rang again. Growling he looked at the I.D. _Ventus...I thought they were together...ugh_. not one to dismiss the feelings of his friends, he ignored the call from Ventus but called Demyx back immediately. "What's up, dude?"

"CC c c can y y you cccc. ..movies...m m m mall?" Demyx sounded upset so Vanitas crawled out of bed and headed for the door before remembering he was in his boxers.

"Be right there, buddy." Turning back, he grabbed the closest pieces of clothing and shoes to the door, then bolted down the stairs. On his way out, he grabbed his leather jacket and the keys to Riku’s car that had been delivered to their house from impound per Cloud.

Outside he shivered slightly and then sped away in the direction of the mall.

Upon arriving in the parking lot, he saw two ambulances and two cop cars near the entrance of the cinema. "Oh shit."

Taking a hard hit off the joint he held the smoke while he stubbed it out on his tongue, then hopped out of the car. Tugging at his jacket, he strode toward the entrance looking for his brother or Demyx. The wind whipped across the parking lot so he snapped the dangling straps of the hat he had put on in his haste to go to his brother’s rescue.

  


Finally getting through the crowd, ignoring the strange looks he was getting, he found Demyx spluttering and cursing while Ventus was strapped to a stretcher, out cold. "What's going on Dem?"

"I o oo thank g g g god. V v v v Vanitas. T t t t t..." Waving his fingers toward the officers and paramedics, Demyx nodded.

Vanitas turned to them and put a hand on his hip. "This is my brother Ventus and his boyfriend Demyx. Ven has narcolepsy, and Dem is fine to take care of him. All of this is really unnecessary."

One of the paramedics looked at him suspiciously, and an officer stepped forward. "Can I see some ID, kid."

Vanitas sighed as he fished his wallet from the ball shorts he had put on before he left. Opening his wallet, a card fell out from the strip club where Xion worked as he pulled out his driver’s license. Wiping the fine dusting of cocaine off on his shorts, he presented them to the officer.

The officer looked closely at the license and then at Vanitas. Old worn boots, ball shorts, no shirt, biker jacket, aviator cap with ear flaps...kids these days. He was about to return the ID, when his radio buzzed with a report of a stolen vehicle.

They both listened to the description as they stared at one another...

Vanitas reached for his ID but the cop reached for his tazer.

  


Cloud was summoned to the police station that night to pick up Vanitas, Sora, Ventus and Demyx. He had taken a hotel room for a week to spend with Xion as well as to keep an eye on Roxas. As soon as he entered the holding area, they clamored to try and explain all at once…so he calmly walked past them, nodded to the cops, entered an empty cell and took a seat.

"What are you doing Dad?" Vanitas barked. "I'm trying to tell you that Ven and Dem needed me and I didn't do nothin!"

"Th th th th...."

"It wasn't his fault, Dad!" Ventus squawked.

"Fuck it wasn't!!" Sora howled and the officers stepped in to make sure they stayed separated as they opened their cells one at a time.

Cloud sighed as the four squabbled, and smiled as he thought that amazingly, Roxas wasn’t involved in the farce somehow. Looking lazily at one of the officers from his seat on the cot inside the cell, Cloud asked. "What are the charges?"

"Simple assault, assault on an officer, grand theft auto, simple possession of a controlled substance...I think that's it sir. How would you like to handle this?"

Cloud smiled, "I'll pay the fines and take them with me."

"Ok, will you be taking the head-case boyfriend also?"

"Yeah...he's family." Cloud said as he watched the four argue amongst each other. "Thank you, officer."

Cloud stood and approached his brood. "Let's go guys, get outta here."

They filed out and as he signed the paperwork, the officer read all their statements then summed up for him. "Demyx got scared at the movie and had an _episode_ , cursing loudly...which scared Ventus, causing him to have an _episode_...which alarmed the other patrons who called 911. The other brother...Vanitas arrived to explain and collect the two but before he could leave with them, the vehicle he arrived in, was reported stolen by Sora.”

“He was arrested after being tazed because he became violent, striking an officer. After the arrest, Demyx became violent, striking an officer. Ventus woke up and became violent, striking a paramedic and an officer. Once all were subdued and cuffed, they were transported here to the station where Sora was waiting to recover the vehicle...”

“Upon witnessing the perps enter the station, Sora became belligerent and violent toward them. He threatened an officer at this point, to have them released from their cuffs so that he could "kick their asses."

The officer cleared his throat. "They were all escorted to separate cells, excluding Sora who was seated out here for paperwork, but continued to yell obscenities at his brothers and the officers. Demyx had another episode as well as Ventus... Sora eventually attacked an officer to get his keys and open the cells. A brawl ensued, after which all were again subdued and jailed."

Cloud chewed his lip. "Sorry?"

"Indeed." The officer smirked. "Good luck Mr. Strife."

"Thanks" Cloud said as he stood.

"By the way." The officer said as they approached the door. "How is Roxas?"

Cloud chuckled. "He's Roxas... but after all of this, I think I'll go take him for ice cream."

The officer laughed. "Understood sir. Have a nice evening."

In the parking lot he looked at his crew and shook his head. They were all a hot mess, but they were his mess.


	35. WORKING MAN BLUES

WORKING MAN BLUES

  


Riku had gotten into a routine of hitting the gym every morning while he was in rehab. He had gained 15 pounds of muscle while he was there, much to Roxas' delight during his visits. He was counting the days until he was free. One morning in early December while he was wearing out the treadmill, he was interrupted by Rikku because he had a visitor. He toweled off and slung his shirt over his shoulder and headed back to his rooms. She walked with him and made small talk about his plans for school when he returned and then left him at the door. He stepped inside to greet his guest, expecting Roxas.

Rufus sat staring at him from the sofa.

"Mr. ShinRa, how are you?" Riku went to get a bottle of water and came back through after dropping his shirt into the laundry.

"I'm well, Riku and from what I see, so are you." He eyed Riku up and down.

Riku watched him and cocked his head to the side. "What brings you by?"

Rufus paused in his reverie to meet aqua eyes. "I have a proposal for you, pending your release. It's purely business and I assure you it won't interfere with your education."

Riku raised his brows as he walked over to sit down, feeling a little like he was stepping into a snake pit. He chugged his water and heard Rufus mutter "My, my..."

Riku finished his water to see Rufus fanning himself with a magazine from the coffee table. "What I have for you is an opportunity to set a good example for your peers and boost the popularity of my company at the same time. And after that lewd display of water drinking I'm certain of two things: one, that you're perfect for this and two, that you have more of your father's genes than your mother's."

Riku mumbled "...lewd, How is drinking water lewd..."

Rufus hopped off the sofa, phone in hand and perched on the arm of Riku's chair. "Watch this." He showed Riku a short video clip of someone drinking water. It was a close up of a smooth, muscular chest, a neck that worked as the man swallowed the water and of course a well-defined arm holding said water to plump lips. Then Riku noticed the long hair. "Is that me just now you lech?" He laughed and so did Rufus.

"Yes, it is and I may be lecherous but you cannot deny that you yourself have a penchant for little blond boys…possibly more of those genetics, hmm?" Riku's smile faded and Rufus heard that low growl rumble from his throat.

"So Riku, what do you say? It's just some photos for ads and maybe some video footage for the website."

"I'll think about it."

"Good! You have six days left here. I'm sure you'll have your decision by then, yes?" Rufus made no move to get up so Riku stood, hoping he would get the notion that they were done speaking but Rufus didn't budge. "Go shower. I brought you something to wear - we're going to brunch and you need to look presentable."

"You sound like Xemnas." Riku grumbled as he went to the bedroom to see what Rufus considered presentable.

On the bed lay designer jeans and a black silk shirt with a tie that matched his eyes, and a black sport coat that had a small silver crest on the breast. He was familiar with the designer but hadn’t seen this particular coat on the market. "Really?"

He got into the shower to find expensive soaps and shampoos like he used to use at home and he growled and started the water.

As he washed, he thought of the care that he'd been receiving and the fact that Rufus had paid for it all when he didn't have to… he could’ve easily let him go to jail. He emerged from the shower and dried his hair and looked into the mirror briefly, realizing that he had gotten pretty buff.

  


Rufus watched him walk out of his bedroom in silence. Riku picked a couple loose hairs off his black shirt and adjusted his tie. "If I'm gonna be lookin at a menu, I'll need my glasses. Sorry if it sullies your vision." Riku put on his big nerd glasses and turned to see Rufus holding his phone and salivating at the screen. "Jesus fucking Christ.” He giggled.

Rufus stood and stepped to his side. "Those glasses..."

"Michael Kors" Riku said as they walked.

"Lovely. Do you like the clothes then?"

"Yes, thank you. The shoes are fuckin boss. Givenchy?" Riku asked as they got into the chauffeured car.

Rufus was delighted. "Yes, and I will make sure to let my wardrobe people know that you think they're 'fuckin boss'."

Riku nodded and settled back into the car thinking about how much he would love to be with Roxas, surfing in a nightgown again. He broke the silence as they stopped at the valet and got out. "Rufus, I don’t need more time to think about your offer. I'll be happy to do it. After all you took care of all the treatment I’ve been getting…how could I say no." Rufus grinned and took Riku's arm as they walked in the restaurant. “How, indeed?”

  
  


Axel and Vanitas were lying in bed having wake and bake at noon. Life was good. Roxas came into the room and drowsily crawled under the covers and snuggled up to Vanitas. Axel laughed "Well, that happened."

Vanitas giggled. "He’s lonely." He petted Roxas' hair as he slept.

"I hope Riku is ok when he gets out." Axel murmured and Roxas moaned in his sleep and tried to crawl underneath Vanitas.

"Fuck...Rox. Wake up, you're killin me." Vanitas grumbled.

"Let him, Vani- he needs you. Imma get outta here anyhow. I got shit to do." Axel got up and left them to it but watched them as he dressed. Vanitas had slipped his arm around Roxas and he could see Roxas' hand threading into Vanitas' hair. Roxas was whispering and Vanitas began to whisper back.

When Axel got back to the dorm, he showered and prayed his rosary trying not to think of his childhood. Seeing the two brothers snuggling for comfort was sweet, but it took him back to a lot of bad memories. He decided to text Reno.

Axel: 1 when u comin back 2 can we have Christmas at our place 3 I love u 4 I miss u 5 when u comin back

Reno: 1 not sure 2 yes 3 ily2 4 I miss u2 5 not sure

Axel sighed and turned his phone off to work on his study.

  


Reno was late and he ran into the restaurant putting his phone away- he was supposed to be escorting Rufus to a business lunch but he had missed the limo so he had to drive his own car. He walked inside and asked for Rufus' table, not bothering to tighten his tie.

"Of course, Mr. Reno. He hasn’t arrived yet but we'll be happy to seat you, or you're welcome as always to wait at the bar."

Reno smiled. "I'll just wait at the bar yo. At least he'll know where to find me when he gets here."

The host smiled knowingly. "Of course sir, please." And he allowed Reno passage to the bar.

Three martinis into a good lunch Reno saw Rufus enter the restaurant with..."SephiKu!" He couldn't wait to get the scoop on this shit.

Approaching the table, he noted how Riku was dressed as well as how healthy he looked. _Wow_ Reno thought, _as if he wasn't already hot enough_.

"Reno, good of you to join us." Rufus said curtly. "Riku, I never go anywhere without one of my Turks. You'll be escorted as well, within reason of course. I'm sure you don't want them hanging around your dorm. Am I correct?"

"Hi Red." Riku smiled politely "and no sir, I don't want any Turks hangin around unless it's Reno. He’s cool."

Reno winked at him as Riku pushed his glasses up on his nose. _Those goddam glasses will get you fucked little boy_ , Reno thought. "Am I to understand that Mr. Valentine here is ya new business associate, Boss?"

"You understand correctly. He just informed me that he will be accepting my offer so I guess he will be needing your services as well."

Reno waggled his eyebrows at Riku as the waiter was placing drinks on the table. Riku drank some of his water with one of his eyebrows up high underneath his hair and started to wish he hadn't felt so obligated to Rufus.

  


The dinner was unusually relaxing and the conversation outlined what Riku would be doing and how he would be marketed. On the way back to rehab, he sat between Rufus and Reno (who had paid one of the valets to drive his car back to ShinRa Tower). They each had a hand on his knee. After giving one another a look around Riku, Rufus reached up to take off his glasses and Reno slid his hand higher on his thigh. Rufus turned his face to him and kissed his lips lightly. “Lips like those ‘ _should be kissed often, and by someone who knows how’_.

Riku growled and turned his head away. "Roxas" was all he said. They backed off knowing, understanding that he was setting boundaries. They would respect that… for now. And if Riku happened to decide to mess around, _well...I'm a free agent now_ , Reno thought with a smirk.

Back at rehab, Riku went in throwing clothes everywhere and went surfing.

  


The next day Roxas' phone rang and he dropped everything and snatched it up. "Hey babyface!" He squealed into the phone. Riku held the phone away from his ear and laughed while the nurse smiled as she stood close by.

"I've got news but I wanna tell you in person." Riku explained. "It’s very important that you come today. Can you make it?"

"Of course. I'll be there in 30." Roxas ran out the door and jumped in Riku's car and left.

  


During Riku’s incarceration, Sora and Olette had become inseparable and were equally mental or so the others thought. She went along with all Sora’s crazy ideas but when things were quiet, she seemed depressed. The brothers were beginning to think that there was more going on with her than home sickness so Vanitas recruited Axel to talk to her and see what he thought.

“Hey, Olette. How’s it goin?” Axel asked as he plopped on a bar stool in the kitchen.

She sat watching the condensation on her glass. “I think I made a mistake coming here. I had a plan, but now…”

Axel was deeply concerned so he reached over to touch her hand. “Ya wanna talk about it?”

Olette looked up at him and murmured, “It’s terrible.”

“It’s ok. I can help ya figure it out.”

She mulled it over and reminded herself that he was a psychologist… and who better to confide in? “It was a long time ago and it’s not just my story to tell. I wouldn’t feel right. I mean I haven’t even told Sora.” She had started to cry and Axel knew she was desperate to get something off her chest.

“Tell me, please. Keeping this in is hurting you. You need to tell someone.”

“I wanna be the one to tell Sora, ok?” She sniffled.

“Okay that’s fine, but seriously, lemme help. I can. It’s the one thing I’m actually qualified to do,” he chuckled making her smile. Axel moved closer to her to show support and make the conversation more intimate. She took a deep breath and began.

“When we were in high school…me and Riku…I…we…me and Riku I mean...we had a baby…and…and …and she…” At this point she broke down and Axel tried guess the rest, fearing the worst. As she sobbed into his shirt he thought of Riku and how the Xemnases must have reacted. He could only guess how hard it had been for her as he knew nothing of her family or status.

She sighed and tried to dry her face and continue her story. “We had her for almost 5 months and she was our world. We were so young, but Riku spent time with her every day. His dad beat the shit out of him when he found out I was pregnant. We managed to hide it for a long time but my mom had lots of friends on the island, so word got around. She cried every day for a long time, but when I started to show, she changed. She said that Riku could live with us but he was only 15 and his folks wouldn’t hear of it. He was there when she was born and he named her Luna.” She started to cry again. “One night when she was almost 5 months old, she went to sleep and never woke up.”

Axel held her until she calmed down and then looked at her face. “One day, Olette you will be a wonderful mother. This happens sometimes and it’s no one’s fault, ok. Tell Sora about this when you’re ready. It’s important that he knows ok. And I hope that Riku will tell Roxas if he hasn’t already. She was a part of your life and a part of you, _and_ Riku. Thank you for sharing that with me. You guys are all like my big ole family now. And to think I came here with only one living relative.” He hugged her and let her go so she could get herself together.

 


	36. THAT ASS

THAT ASS

  


Roxas arrived at Atlantica to find Riku waiting in the lobby with a bag. "Oh my gooooddd!!" Roxas screamed. "Are you coming home today?"

Riku was smiling and his dimples were beautiful. "Yes"

Roxas stopped fangirling and looked around silently at the otherwise empty lobby. He grabbed Riku by the arm and rushed him out the door looking over his shoulder like he was kidnapping.

On the way home he told Roxas about his new 'job' working for Rufus and about going to lunch with him and Reno. He left out the kiss. Roxas was excited. "You mean your ass is gonna be all over billboards and shit?"

"That's what he says." Riku mused. "Of course if the public deems it too soon after my father's incident..."

"I don't think that'll be the case. I mean it's been 20 years and you're not him, Riku. You'll have their sympathy and adoration just for being his kid." Roxas blurted.

When Riku pulled up at the Strife house, they got out kissing and stumbling up to the door. Pushing it open they staggered inside, kissing and groping one another and tugging at clothes.

"Bed..." Roxas hissed and Riku started dragging him up the stairs. Halfway up they turned and saw Axel and Vanitas sitting on the sofa wide-eyed.

Axel dropped a piece of popcorn and Vanitas said "Welcome home." with a crooked smile. Riku nodded and they continued their climb.

Axel whispered, "Did you see him?"

Vanitas whispered back, "Yeah...looks like he spent the whole stint in the gym."

They looked at each other and said "That ass though."

  


Everyone found somewhere to go for a couple hours and let the honeymooners have the house. Olette and Sora had gone to the zoo. As they sat watching the monkeys Olette turned to Sora nervously. "We need to talk."

He looked at her seriously. "Ok talk."

She looked a little like she was going to be sick but began telling him the story of the baby she had at 14. She told him everything and he even cried with her.

"I'm so sorry, Olette. I love you. I know no other baby will ever replace Luna, but one day you’ll have a family and I bet you’ll be the best mom ever. My mom died right after we were born so I never knew her. Aerith is more like a mom to me than anyone else has been since Dad only had guys to help raise us. I thought for a long time it was because we were all boys but recently I started thinking it’s because he likes peen. But can I ask why you decided to tell me now?"

She dropped her head and mumbled something unintelligible.

"Do you wanna leave...go back to Destiny? Is it too hard being around Riku all the time? Are you not happy here? Cause I mean if you're not happy, I understand cause it's crazy at the house but..."

"Sora! Sora...I had to tell you because I love you... and I'm pregnant... with your baby."

Sora pulled the sucker from his mouth and stared at her with cherry flavored drool just about to drip off his lip. "M-m-my" Sora made a face that looked like he had to sneeze. "But I... I...I donno how ta be ..." Sora hugged her and became very quiet.

They both were silent for a few minutes, then fearing the worst she said, "I'm sorry, Sora."

"No! No! Don't do that. Don't apologize. Do-do you wanna have the baby I mean...it's your body and, and, and" Sora had tears leaking down his cheeks "and it's ultimately your decision cause I have NO right to tell you what to do with your body but... I want my baby, Olette. I want my baby." He touched her belly and said. "I love you Olette and I want our baby."

“I want it too, Sora.” She put her hand over his and they immediately began discussing the future, immediate and otherwise, how and when to tell the others, and decided ultimately to wait until after Riku’s welcome home party. They didn’t want to take away from that and they also worried that he could take the news badly. They didn’t want to be the triggers for Riku to fall back into his habit.

  


At Strife House Riku was getting dressed so Roxas got up and started to dress as well. Pulling on one of his old tees that he had left there, Riku winced as it pulled tight across his chest and pinched his biceps, so he grumbled and started pulling it back off. Roxas had stopped dressing and started watching. Suddenly he was all over him. He helped Riku get the shirt off while he kissed his chest and shoulders, mumbling _'mine, mine, mine'_ and as he started undressing him again. "Riku goddammit I'm gonna have a permanent fuckin boner. I can't look at you…just one more time before you go, baby. You don't have to do nothin but sit there and be hot."

Riku laughed and let him have his way, as usual.

  


Axel was working on his study, or trying to while Vanitas lay on his bed reading. Fingers clicked away at the keyboard, green eyes flashed up to see Vanitas roll onto his stomach and prop on his elbows to continue reading. The tapping on the keyboard slowed momentarily but soon picked back up. Vanitas lay his book down and stretched, then lay his head down on his folded arms and stared at Axel. The tapping slowed again as eyes locked, then Vanitas closed his eyes and started to doze. The typing resumed.

Vanitas dreamed of Axel and kisses and touches and warmth and chocolate... voodoo and when he opened his eyes, the room was too quiet. No typing. He looked around for Axel and heard the shower. Walking into the bathroom he said, "Hi."

From the shower Axel said "Hi yourself. Nice nap?"

"Yeah." Vanitas stepped into the shower and kissed him. "I think I'm tired of waiting."

Axel knew what he meant. The thought of finally having actual sex with Vanitas excited him and terrified him at the same time. Axel held him as Vanitas lay his head on his shoulder. "I'm not gonna lie, I’m a little scared."

Axel squeezed him and said softly, "Scares me too Vani."

"Why?"

"I'm afraid you won't like it and it'll be over for us. I don't wanna lose you. Even if it meant we never had sex."

Vanitas nodded his head against his chest and the two showered and headed out for dinner.

  
  


Riku sprinted down the stairs with his skateboard under his arm and reached the front door as Roxas slid down the bannister holding his. They were laughing like idiots and snatched open the front door to find Reno poised to knock. They stared at each other briefly and then laughed.

"Goin somewhere yo?"

"I was," Riku giggled as he abused his newest addiction- bubble gum. "Come on in."

"I only need a minute to give you this paperwork from the boss man."

They stepped inside and Riku took the folder from Reno and flipped through the first few pages. "This is for Saturday. Wow. I didn't think I'd be doin anything so soon."

"Well Rufus had this outlined before you accepted so all he had to do was make a few calls. He actually wants me to take ya shopping on Friday after your last class yo."

Riku mumbled "It ends..."

"At 2:10, we know. He has your schedule."

Riku nodded and blew a big pink bubble. "Okay. Will you be picking me up?"

"Yes, because he wants you to do your shopping at the boutiques in Midgar."

Riku chomped his gum a couple times and nodded again. Roxas was listening raptly to the plans being made and checking his wheels.

"I need ta shop anyhow. I seem to have outgrown a lotta my shirts while I was in. I can still get into my jeans but I think my..."

Roxas interrupted "ass is bigger."

They all laughed and then Reno said his goodbyes.

  
  


Axel and Vanitas collapsed onto his dorm bed kissing. They had dinner and a movie but neither could stop thinking about their chat in the shower. “I want this to be good for you Vani. I love you and I don’t wanna hurt you.” Axel said as Vanitas kissed his neck and bit his chin making him smile.

“I have a little penchant for pain, so I’m not too worried about that part.” Vanitas said as he wiggled out of his jeans and helped Axel do the same. The redhead was all hands and Vanitas swore when he closed his eyes that he had to have more than two. It was _that voodoo_ , he thought. Then he remembered how easy it was fort him to tease Axel and began to feel a bit more confident about his position.

Axel rolled Vanitas onto his back as he kissed him. Normally, he would wrap his legs around Axel at that point, but this evening he had his knees clamped tightly together. Axel chuckled making Vanitas smile.”Whaaat?”

“Yanno it don’t work like that, baby.” Axel whispered into his ear and tried to wedge his knee in between Vanitas’ legs. The legs didn’t budge and Vanitas’ face split into a grin. Axel cocked an eyebrow and sat up on his knees. “Challenge accepted.”

He shoved Vanitas’ knees apart and began kissing and nipping at his thighs. He reached for Axel wanting him to come back for kisses but Axel shook his head and took his cock into his mouth while he stared at him.

“Holy…holy…fuck. Axel that feels so fuckin good.” Axel made sure Vanitas was distracted by having his dick down his throat before he even attempted to start preparing him. He was moaning his name and Axel was eating it up but they had done all of this before. He had managed to get two fingers into Vanitas before he felt him tense up but instead of backing off, he spread his fingers apart, stretching Vanitas, anxious to see how he would react. Vanitas moaned. "Ooooh God. Do that again..."

Axel abandoned Vanitas' erection to return to his mouth. He kissed him and sucked his tongue as he added a third finger. Vanitas moaned and squirmed as he tried to push down onto the digits. "I want it Axel. I want you inside me…" Vanitas pleaded. "That's not enough" he whined.

Axel thought of what he had said before about having a penchant for pain. _It must hurt a little now, but not enough...how will I know how much is too much..._ his brain rambled on as he made sure there was plenty of lube on them both.

"Ack!" he screamed as Vanitas bit his nipple and dragged him down on top of him, bottle of lube flying up in the air.

He started to push inside of Vanitas and was trying his best to go slow, and Vanitas calmed as the pain started to spread. He had an intense love affair with pain all of his life and had the scars, tattoos, and piercings to prove it. Halfway in Axel squeezed his eyes shut and started to pray.

"You ok?" Vanitas croaked.

_Kinda ass backward isn't it...him asking me_ , Axel thought. "Tight" he said as his voice cracked.

"Sorry?" Vanitas said quietly.

"Nooooo. Not sorry...not bad, Vani." Axel sounded as if he would cry. "You just" he pushed in deeper "feel so fuckin good" he pushed again and Vanitas gasped and grabbed Axel and held him. His breath was coming in short pants and then he pressed his head back into the pillow. Axel saw a tear leak out the corner of his eye so he began to kiss him and felt him start to relax again. Axel was about to push for the last time when Vanitas whined and bucked his hips. He felt their bodies finally press together and Axel shuddered all over.

 "God fucking dammit. Axel...uhhnnnhhh." Vanitas whined.

Axel kissed his face and stroked his cheek as he stayed very still. "You ok baby? You feel so fuckin good Vani."

Vanitas kissed him brutally and bit his lip as he started to move. He could feel Vanitas legs shaking so he reached down and hooked them around him. "Too much?" He asked and all Vanitas could do was shake his head _no_ and dig his heels into Axel's back wanting more.

_Apparently he does get off on pain_. Axel thrust harder and Vanitas groaned like a dying man. "Axel...I can't...I can't..."

"It’s ok Vani.... I want it. I wanna feel it…" before he uttered the last word, Vanitas released. He was so tight and the contractions of his orgasm were painful for them both. Axel panted and thrust hard until Vanitas was done. Then when he had relaxed again Axel slowed down which surprised Vanitas.

“Did I do something wrong?” he asked shyly, still breathless.

"No baby no... did you like that?" He asked as he slowly rolled his hips. Vanitas nodded and kissed him. "Wanna do it again?"

Vanitas looked confused but nodded. Axel reached between them and took Vanitas' cock and began to stroke it in time with his thrusts. Vanitas moaned and Axel could feel him getting hard again. "My. God." Vanitas said.

"Yeah?" Axel said with his cocky smile. He wrapped his arms around Vanitas and rolled him over so that he was on top.

He sat up and hissed and Axel watched him: watched his tattoos shiny with sweat, his throat, his hands shaking until he pressed them to his chest. Head back. Eyes closed. He was the God here. Axel continued stroking him as he sat until Vanitas looked down at him, chewing his lip ring. Axel’s silent reverie was over with those goddamn piercings.

He bucked his hips and Vanitas moaned and closed his eyes. Axel did it again and again then Vanitas leaned on his hands and rose up a bit. Axel held his breath as Vanitas bent down to kiss him. He sucked his bottom lip and whispered "let me..."

Axel knew he was finished after that. As Vanitas moved over him he prayed silently. He took Axel’s hands and placed them on his chest, and told him that he was beautiful. The way he moved was amazing, however clumsy at first, and Axel could feel himself nearing his limit. Everything became a frenzy of heated groping and the slide of sweat-slicked skin as Vanitas met his thrusts at a brutal pace until they were both exhausted.

Axel pulled him down and held him tightly. He didn’t seem to mind that they were both covered in come, and were slippery against each other’s chest. Rolling them over to their side, he pulled away and Vanitas groaned. Tugging the duvet over them, Vanitas tucked his head under Axel’s chin and they slept until morning.


	37. NEW LIFE

NEW LIFE

  


Friday night was Riku's welcome home party. The booze flowed, the greens were smoked, and the music was loud. After not having so much as a beer for a month it wasn't long before the guest of honor was laying on the couch singing with Demyx. The guitarist was all too happy to entertain Riku. He had seen a lot of people become slaves to heroin and didn't want to see that happen to him.

"Oh Dem guess what?" Riku slurred. "I got a job" he giggled.

Demyx laughed as he strummed his guitar and said "You inherit a fuckin fortune and the first thing you do is get a job? Unfuckinbelievable!" Demyx picked out the intro to Imagine Dragons’ Working Man.

Riku laughed. "I have to let them take pictures of me."

"You're a model? That's cool as fuck. You'll get lotsa great clothes for free!" he switched his song to Nickleback’s Photograph.

Riku rolled his head and nodded. "I gotta go shopping before my first shoot. Reno's picking me up." They had scrapped the idea of leaving Friday afternoon when Reno found out about the welcome home party.

"Why's Reno pickin you up? You workin for ShinRa or something?" Demyx chuckled and played a little eerie sounding tune from Blonde Redhead.

"Yep. Rufus came to see me in rehab and made me an offer. I had to say yes, man. He paid for all my care and shit."

Demyx wasn't drunk enough to talk about Rufus. "You don't owe that asshole anything, Riku. He collects beautiful boys like he collects ties. Don't let him use you." Demyx’s music became somber as he played It Ends Tonight by All-American Rejects. Riku thought Demyx was probably overreacting but it was sweet how he was being protective.

"I'll be ok Dem. Thanks for the heads up."

  


"Let's play quarters!" Axel yelled.

"On Riku's abs!" Vanitas yelled.

Everyone wanted in. Demyx helped transfer Riku to the kitchen island and Roxas took his shirt off for him. Riku reached up and tugged Roxas' hair. "I love you baaby."

"Aawwwww" resounded throughout the kitchen and they all pelted Riku's impressive abdominals with quarters until someone yelled 'body shots'!

Soon he was clad in nothing but his Armani underwear and everyone was laughing and disgustingly drunk. Cloud and Xion were there, also disgustingly drunk from using Riku for body shots. When Cloud got drunk enough to slip and call him Seph, he stopped drinking. No one heard but Riku and he grinned and said, "Dad you're drunker than meee!"

Cloud had ruffled his hair and grinned, slurring “You boys are a bad influence on this old man. If Seph was here he would be laughin at my drunk ass right now.”

Riku smiled. “I like when you talk about him. I wish I’d known him…I know he woulda been a better father than Xemnas. Maybe if he coulda kept it together a lil longer until I was born…”

“Don’t do that to yourself, Riku. He’s around yanno.” Cloud waved his hand around as if to imply ‘ _everywhere_ ’. “He sees you and he loves you.”

Riku nodded and smiled sadly. Ventus popped up beside Cloud and said excitedly, “Hey Riku check out what we made for you!” he held up a long straw that was actually many straws spliced together. “Now you can just lay right here and drink!”

Someone stuffed a loaf of bread under his silver head and squealed, “Here’s a pillow for you!” That had to be Sora, he thought. Riku was delighted with the idea of not having to move so he ordered someone to put the end of his straw into a beer, fluffed his bread pillow, and grinned at Cloud. “Life is good, yeah?” Cloud nodded and left him to his royal treatment.

  


Axel, much like his twin had a ridiculous tolerance for alcohol. He was talking to Cloud at one point and noticed a bandage peeking out from his shirt collar. "Oh, what happened there?"

Cloud said sheepishly, "Overzealous female."

Axel laughed "Wow! So you got it like tha..." He stopped because he thought of Vanitas. "Guess he gets it honest..."

"What was that?" Cloud asked leaning closer to better hear Axel.

"I said I guess Vani gets it from you...pain being a turn on yanno." Axel said matter-of-factly.

Cloud made a face like he was eating sour candy. "I don't think I needed to know that."

Axel saw his chance. "Yeah, Yeah. Ya need ta know stuff like that. Just in case, I mean."

"Just in case what?"

"You know. In case there is ever an extreme incident or something." Axel said vaguely and lowered his eyes.

"What kind of extreme...what are you saying?" Cloud appeared to be getting worried and Axel felt bad for a fraction of a second and then he wished he could have video of this.

"Well last night see..." Axel stalled drawing Cloud out.

"Last...have you hurt Vanitas?"

"No! No... well, not any more than he wanted me to. There was some biting but I was the only one bleedin. And those lip rings provoke me to do vile things, but he liked it." Axel said with a straight face.

Cloud put his hands over his face and groaned. "Why do I even engage you in conversation..."

"Do you really want me to answer that?" Axel asked as he raised his brows and smirked.

"No!" Cloud turned to walk away. Axel counted mentally _3, 2, annnd_...Cloud spun back around. "Yes! Yes I would like to know why it is that I keep talking to you even though I know you're a total jackass!"

"Well ya see, Daddy..." Axel began.

"Don't call me that."

"Fair enough, Cloud." He said it exactly like Reno...He looked like Reno...He smelled like...

"Where is your shirt anyway?! Put some clothes on and I'll listen to what you have to say." Cloud snapped.

Axel held up one finger and left the room, and Cloud started thinking he should just leave. He didn't need some genius psychologist poking around in his head. Before he could flee, Axel returned wearing a white Oxford that was only half buttoned. He looked sloppy and unkempt and ... _oh goddammit_...

"Nope." Cloud said throwing his hands up and walking away.

Axel laughed and pursued him. "Wait! You said you would listen to me." _This is way too easy_ , Axel thought.

Cloud stopped outside on the deck, took a deep breath, and turned to face the Not-Reno. "Ok. Let's have it Red. And you better enjoy it because it won't be happening again."

Axel scratched at his messy red hair and briefly touched the tattoo on his right cheek as if deciding how to proceed. "The way I see it, and I could be wrong but I'm probably not cause, you know..." Axel tapped a long digit to his temple. "The way I see it is this: You know shit about me that makes you feel protective. I look, sound, smell, and taste” he smiled, “exactly like someone you were involved with, care for, and are sexually attracted to. You revert to your feelings for him when you're around me, even if you don't mean to or don't want to.”

“Why would I do that? You’re two completely different people.”

“First of all, when I engage you in conversation your brain immediately registers what he’s told you of our ugly childhood, so you're nice to me. It’s not exactly pity, but more a protective mode. Second is the visual. I look like Reno and you associate Reno with trust, so you're open and honest. You look at me and predict my reactions toward you will be the same as his would be. When I react like him initially, you slip into that rapport that you have with him. Next, the auditory, again Reno…maybe a little Reno-light but even being a little wary, you still trust. You're attracted to him and as long as I react like him, you're attracted to me. It’s kinda like links in a chain, see. You treat me like Reno until I make the difference between him and me obvious to you. Then you become an asshole. After our initial meeting, I gauged your reactions and developed a system to fuck with you. All I have to do is be Reno until it’s time for the punchline, then Axel! It's too easy."

Cloud gaped at him. He had him down to a science- he was just a bug under a microscope to this kid. He was silent for a few minutes then said simply, "You may call me Dad" and walked away. Axel lit a cigarette and smiled very satisfied with himself.

  
  


Saturday morning dawned with Riku asleep on the kitchen island in his underwear. He was sticky with spilled liquor, beer, fruit juice, saliva, and salt. Unable to focus, he rolled over and off the island landing on top of ...someone. He struggled to his feet and squinted at the clock. _Holy fuck balls_. Reno is picking me up in –

"Mornin sunshine!" Reno crowed, knowing Riku would be wrecked.

Riku grabbed his head. "Shhhhhh."

Reno laughed. “I remember that first bender after rehab...good times, good times.”

Riku rubbed his eyes and scratched his head feeling his matted hair and groaned. "You were in rehab?"

"Sure, couple times yo. But those stories will have to wait. Get yourself together we got a flight to catch." Reno was ogling Riku's nearly naked form and he was too miserable to care. Reno heard bottles rattling as Riku made his way around the island and slipped into Turk mode.

"Come on" he stepped around swiftly and scooped him up into his arms, bridal style. "Lemme help. Can't let our brand new representative get hurt just cause he wanted ta party a little, yo." He headed for the stairs carrying Riku who mumbled his thanks.

Halfway of the stairs, Reno grinned. "Say aren't you gonna introduce me to ya friend there?"

Riku squinted at him, "Who?"

Reno looked down at Riku's morning problem, then back at his face and winked. Riku put both hands over himself and said, "ugh...lech" but made no attempt to get out of Reno’s arms.

Reno stopped in the hallway, still holding him like a blushing bride. "Which room yo?"

He only motioned with his head "That one."

Reno chuckled, "You may as well get over that shyness. More people are gonna see ya naked during one modeling session than have seen you thus far in your life yo."

"Oh, I doubt that." Riku grumbled. "Half Destiny Island has seen me naked, most of them in a single weekend. But that's a story for another time, dude."

Reno laughed and stood him on his feet. "I think this is the beginning of a good workin relationship yo."

Riku adjusted his junk and smirked. "Prolly not gonna end well..."

  


Reno cackled as they entered Roxas' room. There was music playing quietly but Roxas was still sleeping. Riku lit a cigarette and walked into the bathroom to shower, leaving the door ajar. Reno walked around the room as the new model showered and noticed the lump in the bed started to move. He watched as a blonde head poked out, then a brunette. _'Oh my'_ Reno thought.

Roxas snuggled against Sora and they wrapped their hands in each other's hair. They whispered to one another and caressed each other, all without opening their eyes. Reno was entranced. A whisper by his ear made him stop breathing.

Riku hissed, "How fuckin hot is that?"

Reno grinned and thought to himself, _'this kid's as fucked up as I am'_.

He watched Riku dress and lean over to kiss Roxas goodbye even though he was only half awake and still entangled in Sora’s arms. Reno watched as one of Roxas’ hands dipped under the covers, clearly touching himself while he kissed his boyfriend. He tried to look away but it was like a bus crash on the interstate- you had to look.

As they kissed, Riku's hair tickled Sora’s face so he reached up, winding his fingers into the offending hair and tugged. Riku broke his kiss with Roxas as Sora tugged again. Smiling at the two, Riku attempted to remove Sora’s hand from his hair but instead, Sora pulled him into a kiss. Roxas smiled and kissed and bit Riku's neck while Sora, who was not completely lucid, kissed his lips.

Reno was as still as one of the angels he admired in that old cemetery and equally as quiet. After releasing Riku, Sora snuggled back against Roxas and kissed his neck and shoulder. Riku and Roxas giggled quietly and Reno fled the room holding his rosary in one hand and his dick in the other.


	38. LOVE HURTS

LOVE HURTS

  


Vanitas was putting Disney band aids on Axel as they chatted. Axel was completely and unabashedly in love with his boyfriend. He would let Vanitas have his way no matter what it was he wanted to do. He soon discovered that his fascination with pain was contagious...or maybe it was Axel's desire to please him...or possibly his subconscious thoughts of Cloud's fascination with pain...or even maybe a little bit of residual Daddy issues that Axel himself suppressed. Whatever was behind it, Axel was enjoying it and refused to analyze himself. “So I talked to Olette last week.”

“Yeah? Find out anything?” Vanitas put away the remaining band aids and kissed all the spots where his teeth had broken the skin.

“She told me that she had plans when she came here but now it wasn’t going the way she wanted. She also told me that she had a baby when she was very young that passed away as an infant. I don’t know what that has to do with her being here unless being around Riku is making her uncomfortable.”

“Why would Riku make her uncomfortable? Didn’t she say they grew up together?”

“Yeah she did say that, but she told me the other day that he was the father of the baby she had. So maybe having him around or hearing about him all the time has brought all that back or something. I still gotta wonder what exactly her plans were that aren’t working out yanno.”

“So she had a baby with Riku? Wow, I wonder if Rox knows. If she was 14 that would’ve made Riku 15. That’s _so young_ to have a baby. Can you imagine?” Vanitas pondered.

“It had to be tough. Yanno for a rich kid, Riku has developed a really thick skin. I mean, he don’t act like a brat and he’s been around the block. Sex. Drugs. Now fame. Hmm.” Axel thought for a few seconds and the text Reno.

Axel: S’up?

Reno: On plane- sup wit u?

Axel: How’s Riku, he was pretty trashed last night-we all were

Reno: sends photo of Riku sleeping on the plane wearing dark sunglasses

Axel: LOL tell him we asked about him

Reno: NP Runt

  


Riku and Reno walked through Midgar’s fashion district after a breakfast of ‘hangover helper’. Riku had been shoveling down the bacon and hash browns while Reno went over the itinerary and sipped his screwdriver- He reasoned that it contained orange juice and therefore qualified as breakfast. Riku had guzzled water like a fish and sucked the salty bacon grease off his fingers at which point Reno started throwing napkins at him saying “Nope!”

At each boutique they entered, they were greeted by people who knew Reno and had been expecting them. They were all excited to meet Riku which made him a little uneasy at first. They had outfits set aside in his size so all he had to do was try them on and choose the ones he liked. No transactions were made, he just took what he liked and moved on. "It’s a little creepy how everyone here seems to know who I am already.” Riku confided.

Reno laughed. “You gotta understand, this is Midgar, yo. Ground fuckin zero for ShinRa and at one time, Sephiroth. So everyone here who owns a TV or computer does know who you are. The day after you accepted his offer, the boss held a press conference announcing that you would be the new face of this fashion house and that fashion house, as well as a representative of his company, being that you were the general’s kid. Since I’ve never seen any of you brats turn on a TV for anything other than video games, I’m not surprised ya didn’t see it. But I’m sure that other kids on campus did and soon you’ll be a celebrity there too.”

Riku scrunched up his face to speak and Reno immediately said, “Don’t do that.”

Riku looked surprised. “What I do?”

“You made that face, yo. Don’t do it.”

Riku pouted without realizing it. Reno snapped, “Don’t do that either yo.”

Riku covered his face with his arm because his hands were filled with bags. “I don’t understand what I did.”

Reno stopped walking and started taking bags in order to share the burden. “Look SephiKu, don’t scrunch up like that because it causes wrinkles and tha boss man won’t like that yo. And don’t pout cause it makes me wanna fuck your face, and I don’t wanna walk around all day with a hard on. Now, shall we continue?”

Riku laughed until his face hurt and headed for the photo shoot. As they walked through the lobby of a huge glass tower, people were trying to be discreet while they stared at him. He removed his sunglasses and rubbed his eyes while Reno called for the elevator. One lady in particular was blatantly staring at his eyes. He met her gaze evenly and held it until she looked away, embarrassed. “Nice one” Reno whispered.

“It’s part of my skill set.” Riku mumbled making Reno cackle out loudly in the relatively quiet building. The elevator opened and they stepped inside with three other people, all of whom greeted him as “Mr. Valentine, sir”.

When they reached their destination, Riku turned to Reno and said, “I need a smoke.”

“Nope” He said as he opened the double doors to a huge room that reminded Riku of a warehouse. There were high ceilings and free-standing portable partitions. There were various props, furniture, a make-up station, and a table full of food and bottled water, and one entire wall was covered in green screen. Riku was impressed.

Before he could pester Reno anymore, a lady approached him. She was tastefully dressed, holding an ipad, and apparently very happy that they showed up early. “Hello Mr. Valentine, it’s nice to meet you. My name is Anna and I’m your coordinator today. I understand you’re new to all this so all I ask today is that you try to relax and let us take care of everything else.”

“Nice to meet you Anna, please call me Riku.” He shook her hand briefly as Reno walked over near the food and sat in a comfortable chair to wait. Anna ushered him to one of the screens that hid a chair much like the one Reno sat in, and a robe.

“Strip, put this on and then go over to wardrobe.” She pointed to another screen that was parked beside racks of clothes. “When they’re done with you, you’ll go on to make-up. Any questions?”

“No ma’am” Riku said politely and she scurried away ticking off things on her ipad. “Don’t call me ma’am.”

While he undressed, he looked around the room. Half-hidden behind a screen was a huge poster of what may have been his father.

  


Demyx had been dreaming; well it was more of nightmare. He had put Rufus ShinRa behind him but when he heard his name from Riku, it all came flooding back…

_He was in Midgar staying with Rufus. Rufus beat the shit out of before he had left to go to Healin and wouldn't be back for a few days. He hoped Red didn't get mad when he saw him._

_He could tell that Rufus’ treatment of him infuriated the redheaded Turk but he didn't really have a choice but to deal with it. He was in school at Midgar U and Rufus was paying for that. He lived in the penthouse but before Rufus came along he stayed with friends on holidays or at the homeless shelter. He couldn't afford to have an apartment and pay for school too. Besides the shelter was ok and the people there loved his music._

_Before he even got out of bed, his door opened slowly and Reno popped his head inside. "Hey beautiful. The cat's away, wanna play yo?"_

_Demyx turned his face so that Reno couldn't see. "I'm not feelin real good today Red. I think I have a bug."_

_Reno walked inside and closed the door, breaking one of Rufus' rules already. Nobody was allowed alone with Demyx behind closed doors. Ever. But there he was not giving a fuck. Reno sat on the side of the bed and pulled the covers back. Demyx lay still._

_Reno turned his face so he could see that the whole side of his face was swollen and purple. Demyx closed the only eye he could see from. He couldn't meet Reno's eyes. He was ashamed. Reno whispered in a shaky voice, "Dem, this has gotta stop. He's gonna kill ya baby."_

_Demyx reached for his hand and started to cry. "I'm scared to leave."_

_"Look at me, beautiful. Don't I tell you that you’re beautiful?"_

_Demyx nodded as he tried to stop crying._

_"I got a plan yo. Lemme take some pics of you and I'll take care of everything ok. All ya have to do is be outta here by the time he gets back from Healin."_

_Demyx gave him a skeptical look. "I don't have anywhere to go but the shelter and he'll find me."_

_"Gimme an hour ok. Gimme an hour and I'll have it all together, yo." Reno started to hug Demyx but saw how he guarded his ribs and backed off. "I'll be back. Get a shower and pack a bag but hide it til I get here."_

_Demyx watched him go after taking photos of his bruises and then struggled out of bed to get a shower. Reno came back early and walked into the bathroom to sit on the dressing chair. "I got everything ya need if you're willing ta go."_

_"Why are you doin this for me Red? You could lose your job...or worse." Demyx asked as he dried himself and put his robe on._

_Reno wrapped his arms around him gently and held him. "Because you're a good guy, Dem. You don't deserve the way he treats you, yo. You're smart and funny and you have a good heart. People like you are rare and something to be treasured."_

_Having said that, Reno kissed him and Demyx smiled. "Thank you Red." He kissed Reno back softly but Reno didn’t step away. Instead he kissed Demyx again, this time slower and deeper, then pulled his robe away. He was very gentle with him and Demyx had never experienced that before. He risked everything just because he felt it was the right thing to do and Demyx didn’t even know his real name. Turk or not, Red was a good guy._

_Two days later Demyx was on a bus with an envelope full of money, a cell phone, and a packet of tickets, directions, and reservations. He followed the directions Reno had given him to the letter. The first night he stayed with a nice lady right outside of town and the next day he was in Twilight Town, his transfer papers completed. The day after he had moved into the dorm, his phone rang. “Hello" he said softly, hoping that it wasn't Rufus._

_"Hey gorgeous how's it goin?"_

_"Red! Everything is perfect. You fixed everything. I don't know how I'll ever repay you."_

_"You can repay me by enjoying the life you have yo, and by not coming back to this crazy bastard."_

_Demyx smiled. "Thank you Red."_

_"No problem. I need ta go, ok. Take care. I'll see ya around yo." Reno hung up the phone, looked up at Demyx's window once more and drove away from campus._

  
  


Vanitas was sweating and swearing with his face pressed to the mattress. He and Axel had been fucking for what seemed like hours. His insides ached, his legs ached, and the bite on his inner thigh was still bleeding. His mouth was dry except for the taste of blood because his nose was bleeding from the coke they had done, and it ran down his face and soaked the sheet.

Axel could feel every single hair follicle on his entire body. Vanitas had been teasing him before, then they did some blow and he meant to fuck him inside out. He was drenched in sweat and all he could taste was Vanitas' blood. He was pounding him into the mattress when Vanitas got quiet. Axel smacked him across the ass and shoved him down harder on the bed. Vanitas moaned and grabbed his cock as he came again.

The red hand print on his ass had to sting but Axel knew he liked it so he carried on. Vanitas literally started crawling away from him like he had earlier, but this time he didn't drag him back like he usually did. Axel let him flee to the headboard where he hung on with one tattooed hand and grabbed at the sheet with the other, dragging it over his legs and ass. He panted as he looked up at Axel who was still on his knees, sweaty, with blood on his mouth and chin, smoking a cigarette.

He crawled up the bed on hands and knees to hover over Vanitas. Looking down at him, he took a long drag off his cigarette and asked, "Enough?"

Vanitas stared up at him with gold flecks glistening in his blue eyes, blood smeared across his face and still oozing from his nose. The look on his face was absolute worship as he shook his head and whispered "No..."

Axel reached the bedside table and grabbed a bottle of water, chugged half of it, dropped his cigarette into the bottle and bent over Vanitas who had curled almost into a ball at the head of the bed. "Whatcha want?"

Vanitas wiped at his nose again smearing the blood further and rolled to his back reaching up to Axel. Instead of embracing him, Axel crawled back to the foot of the bed, grabbed one of Vanitas' ankles and dragged him down the bed. He traced a tattoo with one finger and reached for more lube with the other hand but before he could apply any, Vanitas sat up and took his erection into his mouth. Axel moaned as Vanitas swallowed him down until his nose pressed against his sticky skin and he grabbed his hair. Vanitas looked up at him with glassy eyes and Axel lost it.

He tugged the hair in his hands as Vanitas pulled back and went down again. He pushed Axel backward onto the bed and shoved his legs apart farther. Axel panted as Vanitas used his drool and blood to slip a finger inside, then added another making Axel grunt and moan. Vanitas prepared him the way he had learned and Axel writhed and pushed down, shaking his head no. He pulled Vanitas away from his cock, kissed his mouth brutally, and used his own hand to shove Vanitas fingers deeper. Vanitas instantly pulled his hand away and flipped Axel over, gripping his hips tightly but took his time as he entered the redhead. Once Axel relaxed, Vanitas started to move.

Thirty minutes later there was a noise complaint at the building. Larxene was pissy because she figured it was Demyx and Axel horse playing. They were all just overgrown boys anyhow. She used her key to open the door without knocking but stopped her invasion as soon as she could focus, all the blood draining from her face.

It looked like a murder scene except both bodies were very much alive. Axel was in the floor on his knees, slipping in blood that appeared to have come from the other's leg, hanging onto the bed while the tattooed Strife boy pounded his ass. Their legs were somewhat tangled in the sheets that had been dragged onto the floor with them. The bed was hitting the wall, the lamp had fallen and was broken, and there was blood and come everywhere.

Larxene stared and whimpered, Vanitas stopped, and Axel looked up at her. Vanitas slapped his ass and said, "Smoke baby?"

Axel grunted and the two disengaged and fished around for cigarettes. Larxene couldn't move. "What the fuck do you two think you are doing?!" She yelled.

They looked at each other and puffed their cigarettes. "We're fuckin." Vanitas said as he wiped some blood off his face and swiped it down his sweaty chest.

"And you're watchin." Axel added as he sat on the side of the bed and pulled Vanitas onto his lap and they dropped their smokes into the puddle of water on the floor from the spilled bottle.

Larxene opened her mouth to scream or vomit, she wasn't sure which when Vanitas looked over his shoulder and said, "If you're gonna hang out and watch, you can at least shut the door."

She meekly closed the door and sat down primly on Demyx’s chair to watch. Axel smirked at her as he pulled Vanitas down onto him again, making him cry out and dig his fingers into his skin.


	39. THAAAAT AAAAAASSSS

THAAAAT AAAAAASSSS

  


Riku’s wardrobe people were very busy getting him into and out of different outfits. They discussed him like he wasn’t sitting there. _He looks better in dark colors. Do we still have the_ _light settings we used for Sephiroth? We have to do blues, get this orange out of here._

His make-up people cooed about his skin and eyes. _God I would kill for skin like this. You know with_ _those eyes... His lips are a little too pink._ When he heard the last one he rolled his lips in for a second and a lady finally made eye contact and paused. “I didn’t mean that in a negative way.” Riku still wanted a cigarette.

  


Roxas was skating the cemetery, waiting to hear from Riku. _I hope he’s having fun… I hope Reno isn’t flirting with him_. His phone buzzed. Message from Reno… “Speak of the redheaded devil” Roxas mumbled opening the message.

Please don’t share any f these yo-these ones r just fr u

There was a pic of Riku eating like a pig, trying on some really tight jeans, standing in front of an elevator staring at something, sitting in a make-up chair with people all around him, and walking around shirtless.

Roxas text back: Thanks man those are awesome. Tell him I miss him

Reno hit him right back: will do, Blondie

Roxas headed home happy.

  


Riku was lying on a sofa on his stomach propped on his elbows while the lighting people argued quietly. Reno delivered some paperwork to them and they all were happy again and thanking him profusely. He heard Sephiroth’s name several more times as they got started. The photographer named Leon was adjusting his jeans in the back so that his underwear showed enough and moved his belt a fraction then moved it back. Leon mumbled, “This isn’t right.”

Riku looked back at him, “Sorry?”

“I was just thinking this is too…I don’t know. I know she said you didn’t take direction but if you could just move a tiny bit…” Leon puzzled over Riku’s position.

Riku arched his back a ‘tiny bit’ and Leon screamed “Perfect!” and started to fan himself with his hand. Riku laughed which destroyed his pose momentarily but regained it as soon as he settled down. Leon was pleased and Riku liked him immediately. He was patient and kind and very funny…much like a Leon that Riku had met years before. The best thing about this Leon was that he talked to Riku instead of _around_ him. “Will I always have the same people when I do a shoot, Leon?” Riku had already decided who he liked working with and who he didn’t.

“You’ll have some of the same ones but most will be different. Like me, I’m here on certain days but I’m away for work sometimes.”

“Oh” Riku said “so I guess it would be a pain in the ass if I wanted you to do them all, huh?”

Leon looked shocked, putting his hand to his chest like the queen he so obviously was, and sputtered, “If you request me then they schedule _my_ work around _yours._ And I just want to add that I would be _honored_ to be your photographer.”

Riku didn’t realize it was that big a deal, but that was par for this whole ‘ _being Sephiroth’s kid’_ thing. “Who do I speak to about that?”

Leon looked like he would swoon. “Anna, you can talk to her when we’re done. Okay, I gotta get these shots for the fashion people.”

They got down to business. Business was pictures of Riku’s ass at that point. For the fashion ad, his face wouldn’t even be in the shot.

He laughed and asked Leon, “If my face won’t be in it why can’t I smoke?”

Leon squawked. “Careful Riku, your genes are showing. Roll over.”

“You knew my father?” he asked as he rolled onto his back.

“I did somewhat. I was his last photographer… He always wanted to smoke during shoots.”

“I didn’t even know he smoked. There’s a lot I don’t know about him.” Riku said regretfully.

Leon snapped pics of his face and said, “How about during lunch we take a walk through ShinRa and I’ll show you some things. Reno can get us clearance to the SOLDIER floors too.”

“Sounds good.”

“Good, back to work little boy. Undo the belt, leave it on, unzip…thank you” The day wore on.

  


Eventually they stopped for lunch and Riku ate like a horse while everyone talked about how cute it was. He drank three bottles of water and smoked three cigarettes back to back. They were beginning to warm up to him and the ones who had known his father said that he shared his mannerisms. To this Riku nodded once and said “Hnn”. Everyone laughed and he just looked confused.

“Come, little one.” Leon summoned him and he went to wake Reno who was snoring loudly in the chair.

“Wake up Red. We’re takin a walk with Leon.” Riku said as he shook him.

Reno grumbled “Leon, yaaayyy…” and stretched as he got up to follow.

Riku noticed that Leon had brought a camera along but he didn’t question. Before they set out, the wardrobe people had dressed Riku in different jeans with a tight white tee, topped with a black sweater and some black Rag and Bone boots that he loved. They walked the halls of ShinRa and the people who passed looked and smiled politely. Leon stopped to point out framed photos and articles about Sephiroth and snapped pictures now and then.

Reno escorted them to the higher floors where the reaction to Riku’s presence was markedly different.

“Hi Reno…Oh!” One lady shrieked as she passed and nearly dropped her folders. Riku looked at Reno sadly and said, “I didn’t mean to scare her.”

Reno chuckled, “Don’t sweat it SephiKu. Wait til we hit the SOLDIER floor yo.”

Stepping off the elevator on floor 49 was just like any other floor for about 15 seconds. Three men were coming toward the elevator and stopped short. There was a brief discussion among them and then they approached. One of them was an older fellow who stepped forward and greeted them. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Mr. Valentine. Your father was the best General the military has ever seen. It was an honor and a privilege to serve under him.”

Riku shook his hand. “Thank you, Sir.”

They carried on and the other two men nodded to them as they passed. Reno led them to the VR training rooms and let Riku watch the SOLDIERs spar. Some people stopped to speak to Riku and make him feel welcome while others eyed him warily.

After the quick tour they went back to work. Leon had lots of good photos and it was time for the interview. Wardrobe grabbed Riku as soon as he entered the room and Anna was having a fit. “Where did you run off to, Leon?”

“I took him to tour the tower and I got a lot of good PR shots for ShinRa.” Leon said coolly.

She looked surprised and mumbled, “OK… great. That’s part of the afternoon.” She walked away calmly ticking at her ipad.

  


Riku was out of the sweater and into a black silk shirt and watch, and they checked to see if his ears were pierced, immediately changing his watch and adding earrings.

Anna came around the screen with her ipad. “This is an interview for the company. Parts of it will be disclosed to the public. You are not to say the name of your adopted family. You are not to say the name of any significant other you may have. You are not to talk about your mother by name. Do not discuss your recent treatment or any other past event of hospitalization or incarceration. Got it?”

Riku looked at her and scrunched his face. She gasped like he had slapped her which made him and Leon laugh hysterically. “Don’t do that! Make-up!” she snapped. He laughed harder.

  


The camera was focused on Riku’s face but Leon would zoom in or out depending on what Riku was doing as he sat on a stool facing an off screen interviewer. He talked about the ocean and surfing and college. He talked about growing up not knowing about his famous father. As he spoke Leon noted the sadness in his eyes. The interviewer held up a photo of Sephiroth and Riku automatically reached for it. Reno had been watching intently and gasped at the sudden movement and his eyes burned when Riku said “I can’t see very well, may I look closer?”

The interviewer gave him the photo and Leon zoomed to his face. Eyes flicked over the image and emotions played across his face before he shut down. He chewed the inside of his lip nervously and Anna cleared her throat. He looked up at the interviewer and returned the photo, and Leon zoomed out to allow for range of movement and then zoomed back in to make sure that he captured a close-up with the tear lying on his lower lashes.

After it was all done, Riku was hungry again which seemed to make everyone happy. He ate fruit and chatted about surfing with one of the wardrobe people as they wrapped the racks of clothes in plastic and boxed up all the shoes and boots. Unbeknownst to Riku the entire wardrobe was being shipped to his address.

“You’re almost done here sweet cheeks.” Leon beamed.

  


Riku talked to Anna about keeping Leon on his team and they hammered out details. Reno ushered him out as soon as they finished and was quiet as they hopped into a chauffeured car to go back to the fashion district. “What’s next?” Riku asked.

Reno said quietly “Boss called. He asked me to bring you back down here to meet him for a fitting or something.”

Noting his demeanor, Riku asked “What’s up man? You got quiet on me.”

Reno lit a smoke and gave it to Riku then lit his own. “Don’t let him manipulate you, kid. He’s my boss, but he’s a snake.”

  
  


Vanitas and Axel were singing at the top of their lungs as they cleaned the dorm. They wanted to do it before they headed to the house for the party. Larxene got another noise complaint to which she replied, “Deal with it or move to another building.”

Sora and Olette had decided to tell everyone about the baby when Riku came back. Sora didn’t think it was fair to leave it out and he actually suggested that Olette tell Riku before they told the others. She said she would, but Sora’s attitude made her wonder if he had really gotten over his thing for Riku.

The afternoon partiers were showing up at Strife House and the mood became lively. Roxas flew through the door, hurdled the sofa, and turned on the TV. Riku’s face was on and a news anchor was talking about him. “Shhhh you guys I wanna hear this.”

Everyone gathered around to watch.

_“…was at ShinRa Inc. today in Midgar. We were able to access part of an interview with the son of the infamous General Sephiroth.”_

There was Riku in a black shirt talking about college. It was a short clip but the anchor went on to say that he was the next big thing and

_“…at this very moment I understand that his bum is on billboards all over Central Midgar.”_

Axel and Vanitas harmonized a lilting “thaaat aaaassssss” and the room erupted into laughter and Roxas squealed. There on the screen of the biggest billboard in Midgar with a black and white shot of Riku’s lower back and ass, taken from the side. Part of the sofa he lay on was along the bottom with the text over it, the focal point of the photo being the partially exposed underwear and belt by the same designer. They all laughed and pointed and discussed what they would do when he returned. Roxas sat down to text his boyfriend.

Roxas: hey I just saw you on TV

Riku: Jesus fuck, already!

Roxas: yes and they have your ass on the big billboard in Midgar

Riku: Uuugh. I just saw it lol

Roxas: I miss you

Riku: I miss you too.

Later on that evening, Roxas got another text.

Riku: Sorry baby, I have to stay in Midgar tonight. I have an early appointment. I love you.

Roxas: s’ok I’m drunk. Wud now?

Riku: in a hotel in my draws. Wud?

Roxas: bein drunk lol

Riku: I miss Strife House

Roxas: If you had yer laptop we could chat

Riku: I can use Reno’s

Roxas: Reno’s there with you?? In your underwear??

Riku: clarification- Reno is here, yes- Reno is in my underwear, no

Roxas: LMAO u kno what I meant. Call me

Roxas sat the laptop up so everyone could see. When Riku’s face popped up, everyone yelled his name and he laughed and covered his face. He looked at all the people crowded into the screen to talk to him- Drunk, stoned, it didn’t matter. THAT was his family.


	40. MISS UNIVERSE

MISS UNIVERSE

  


Riku tried to accommodate his friends. Everyone asked stupid questions which he answered if he could, then he turned the camera to Reno who was sleeping soundly on the sofa, snuggled up to his gun.

The discussion soon fell to Riku’s modeling and Axel and Vanitas held nothing back. “Your assss Riku! We must discuss this ass that you brought home with you from rehab!” Axel squawked and Vanitas nodded before adding. “Here, here! I am in awe of the ass…I deem it the Miss Universe of Asses!”

Demyx was laughing and red-faced but Ventus was shameless. “We should hold a Next-Best Ass contest!”

“Wait wait! We have a possible contestant attempting to flee!” Sora squealed and darted away to return with Cloud. “He will be our first cont _asss_ tant!”

Roxas stuck his face to the screen and whispered loudly, “I can’t enter the contest…my ass is far superior and I’m fucking the judge… tell them you forbid it.”

Riku was trying to be quiet as he laughed and snorted watching them assemble an ass line-up. Sora, Axel, Ventus, Cloud, Vanitas, and Demyx lined up and dropped trou at the precise moment Reno woke up to go stumbling to the bathroom. On his way back, he stopped to look. "Wow."

He rubbed his eyes. "Hey there's Cloud." and went back to the sofa and took off his jacket, shirt and boots, paused for a second and went back to the laptop. "What are you _doing,_ SephiKu?"

Riku laughed. "Help me judge this ass contest, Red."

Reno perked up and sat down on Riku's knee. "Ok but I'm biased yanno, cause that ass right there…” he pointed to Cloud and shook his head. Riku nodded, secretly hoping the two would get back together. As friendly as he was with Xion, he didn’t think she was good enough for his honorary father.

As each ass was eliminated they did shots while Riku and Reno watched and giggled at their antics. There was shrieking and ass slapping and general debauchery and Riku turned to Reno “It’s a lot different when you’re outside lookin in.”

Reno nodded and in a moment of Zen, said “Everything is. The shitty part is some people never get out ta look back in, yo. Glad ya did.”

Riku looked up at the Turk still perched on his lap and smiled “Thanks” then laid his head against his bare chest. Reno immediately leaned down to whisper, “Stop that. I WILL fuck you.”

They laughed at each other and finished their judging.

Axel won the ass contest and everyone proceeded to take pictures. He made a big production by having Vanitas spank him in front the cam, and Roxas argued that he would've won but he was disqualified by _ass_ ociation, and the ridiculousness continued. As they argued about the contest, Reno stood and stretched and meandered back to the sofa to make himself comfortable. “I’m gonna sleep a while longer…we got a big day tomorrow.”

"There's another bed in there." Riku offered.

"I've been upgraded from escort ta bodyguard. I know tha security here and I'd feel better sleeping by tha door. So, if ya don't mind, Princess, I'll just sleep here."

"Bodyguard?"

"Yep, welcome to the limelight, SephiKu." Reno lay on the sofa with his gun and closed his eyes.

 

Riku watched his friends until he fell asleep with his head on the antique desk and woke around 2 a.m. to see Roxas’ sleeping face. _He must have carried the laptop to his room and left it open_. Riku whispered his name and watched as his eyelids fluttered. He whispered again and saw the baby blues come alive. "Hey baby." he said softly. "I wanted to tell you I love you."

Roxas moved around and mumbled something, then said "I love you too, Riku. You comin home tomorrow?"

"Yeah. I'll text you, ok?" They said their good nights and Riku watched Roxas fall back asleep but not before brunette spikes appeared briefly behind him before being covered. Sighing, he wondered if he needed to worry about Roxas sleeping with Sora while he was away and then decided he would worry whether he needed to or not… because Roxas was everything.

  


The next morning Reno woke Riku for breakfast. "Wake up princess, and put something on before ya come to breakfast. Rufus is here yo."

He emerged from the bedroom in a robe with his hair in a messy bun, and his eyes were puffy.

"Good morning dear." Rufus crooned.

"Mornin" Riku croaked, scratching his ass and lit a cigarette.

"Neanderthal" Rufus hissed.

Reno laughed but said nothing. Riku sat down and had coffee while Rufus watched him. "You have an appointment in two hours for a photo shoot. You DESPERATELY need the spa."

Riku grumbled then asked "Did I do okay yesterday?"

Rufus came around the table with a swish of imported fabric and a cloud of expensive cologne and sat by him, placing a hand on his thigh. "You did wonderfully. Today will be a little different though."

"Wi Neon be vere?" Riku mumbled around the third of a pancake he had stuffed into his mouth.

"Yes, as you requested." Rufus strained a smile watching Riku eat.

"Cool." Riku took a puff between bites and sips of coffee.

"Do you normally eat and smoke at the same time? I find it quite disgusting." Rufus watched him worriedly.

"Mm goof ak mulfi-faskin." Riku said.

Rufus looked at Reno and waited. "He said he's good at multi-tasking." Reno translated.

"Oh! Good to know. Well chop-chop. Reno, get him to the spa and I'll see you two later. I have obligations."

"Fee rater" Riku said with a mouthful of fruit and muffin.

"See ya later, boss." Reno parroted with a wave. He watched Riku finish the fruit and have more coffee plus orange juice while smoked another cigarette. "Soo, are you done?"

"Yep! Going to shower and get dressed. I'll hurry." Riku took a cup of coffee with him.

Fifteen minutes later Reno stepped to the doorway to see Riku hopping on one leg putting on a sock with a toothbrush in his mouth. "He wasn't kiddin."

  


The ladies at the spa fawned over Riku then he fell back asleep with a mask on while he got a massage. On the way to the shoot he asked Reno "So what's different about this shoot?"

Reno mumbled "You'll see."

"I don't wanna see, I wanna know."

"Brat."

Riku laughed and then pouted.

"What I tell you about that yo?"

"Don't do it." Riku said sounding as innocent as he could.

"Right, and why shouldn't ya do it?"

"Because it makes you want... ok sorry." Riku giggled.

  


The shoot was different alright. Riku went inside and saw Leon immediately. He was picking through clothes and talking with a lady Riku didn’t recognize.

"Hi Leon." He spoke quietly, not wanting to interrupt.

"Oh! Here he is early again! You're going to spoil me, Riku."

The lady just stared and Leon leaned toward her. "I told you so.”

She nodded and scurried away. “Told her what?” Riku asked concerned.

“That you’re a beautiful boy.” Leon smiled.

Riku shoved his hands into his pockets and tried not to look as insecure as he felt. He didn’t understand what had happened to him once he was liberated from the Xemnases but he seemed to not know where he fit in society anymore. Seeing his discomfort, Leon patted him and smiled as he ushered him to wardrobe, "Don't worry. It'll be fun.”

This shoot was less about the clothes and more about the body inside them… which was sadly, something he could identify with, having been lusted after since he reached puberty. He sat on a bed propped on one arm with his shirt open. He stood in only jeans and no shoes on some sand in front of a green screen. He did one shot in a white Oxford, underwear...and a tie. They told him to stand on a mark barefoot in different jeans and no shirt, then they turned on a fan that was freezing! He hugged himself and covered his nipples and screamed but they got the shots they needed.

"Break!" Someone yelled, and before he could speak someone else wrapped a warm robe around him and sat slippers by his feet, then scurried away. He found the food. Everyone that was new talked with him as Leon watched from the sidelines.

Finally getting back to work, Leon adjusted his hair a bit. "Riku, we have some other models for you to work with today."

"Great, someone who knows what they're doing!" He groused and everyone laughed.

The other models were two girls named Serah and Vanille- they were beautiful and painfully thin. They were doing a cosmetics ad and he was basically a prop. He held Vanille like he was going to kiss her and Leon said, "Show me some passion, Riku. Pretend she has a dick."

The girls giggled and after that was said, they were a lot friendlier and relaxed. There was a shot where the girls put their heads on either side of his chest that was Leon's favorite. "He likes it cause you almost touched my nipple with your _crimson dragon nail polish_." Riku winked at Vanille making her blush and giggle.

They hung around him at lunch and asked him about his friends and he showed them some pics he had on his phone. Serah was immediately taken with Snow. Riku explained that he lived on Destiny Island and was an avid surfer. She squeaked, "I wanna learn to surf...with him."

"Want his number?" Riku offered.

"Oh you would do that?"

"Sure. Snow's a great guy and I've known him a long time. I don't think he's seeing anyone, so yeah."

Vanille looked at Riku and pouted. "What about me?"

He laughed, “Let's see who else we have.” as he flipped through his phone.

Too soon they were gone and a male model came in. Riku watched him walk in and his mind said _"Nooooo"._ He was a cute little blond named Vaan.

Introductions were made and they were sent to wardrobe. As they dressed Vaan was quiet but he kept glancing at Riku. When they started the shoot Riku noticed that he smelled nice. Leon came over to them and said. "Ok boys. These are for the ladies so try to look like you're not as gay as I am."

“It’s been my experience that ‘the ladies’ tend to like watching guys hook up, just sayin” Vaan smirked and Riku giggled.

Leon rolled his eyes and said, “Ok children, maybe a few but nothing trashy…Vaan.” They both giggled and went about the business of trying to look sexy.

There were shots of the two wearing the same designer standing back to back, holding hands. One was them sitting on the floor, also back to back, Riku with his head back and Vaan with his head bowed. Waistcoats and vests came off, shirts were undone and Leon was fanning himself. They were facing one another for one shot when Vaan looked up at Riku and touched his bare chest. Leon held his shutter button down because the look on Riku’s face was priceless.

When they were done, Vaan asked Riku if he wanted to party. He declined, saying he wanted to get back to campus. Vaan nodded and stepped closer to him. "Next time then."

Riku nodded and Vaan smiled and kissed his cheek. He gave Riku his phone and let him call his own. "Now you have my number. Call next time you're in Midgar and I'll take you out."

"Ok" Riku said but he thought _wow_.

  


Ventus was running from Demyx across the front yard of Strife House wearing a black slip and galoshes. Ventus was screeching and had everyone within a quarter mile looking to see who was being murdered. Vanitas opened the door and yelled at Ventus, "Get your coat on, idiot. You're gonna be sick!"

He shut the door and looked at Sora, "I hate playing den mother."

A guilty look came across Sora's face and he turned away.

"What's wrong Sor? I was just joking. You know I love you guys."

"I know Vani"

"Well what's up? Why the face?"

"I ... You... I'll tell you later." Sora left the room.

  


Snow Villiers was tired as a bitch. He collapsed on the sand and rolled over to check his phone. "Rikuuu" he said when he checked his messages.

Riku: s'up

Snow: duuude saw u on tv

Riku:  :-p

Snow: riiiight so sup?

Riku: met this chick, cute, liked ur pic

Snow: righteous

Riku: I gave her ur digits 

Snow: sweet what's her name

Riku: Serah she has pink hair

Snow: awesome thanks

Riku: np. We boys rt

Snow: def

 

Hayner: hey dude

Riku: sup Haaaayner

Hayner: saw you on tv. Hope u don't forget the lil people.

Riku: never- how's the surf??

Hayner: sick

Riku: I miss it

Hayner: come back

Riku: can't dude. Bad mems. Would be back in rehab lol

Hayner: my folks r divorcing

Riku: no fuckin way. Wugd?

Hayner: live here- they're both movin. I wanted 2 stay- they gave me the house-said it was 4 xmas lol

Riku: sweet!!!

Hayner: def

Riku: maybe I can come during winter break. Make some good mems

Hayner: Roxas?

Riku: they all go home

Hayner: rt- I c u then- just show up m not goin anywhere

Riku: rt- c u then

  


Riku and Reno showed up at the Strife house to find Ventus and Demyx having hot cocoa and Vanitas and Axel making out in the kitchen. They all welcomed him home and told him Roxas was napping so he headed up while Reno hung out with Axel. Upstairs Sora stopped him before he went into Roxas' room. "Hey, you got a sec?"

"Sure" Riku whispered as he closed the door and retreated into the hallway with Sora and Olette.

"Um, there's something I wanna tell you, well everyone, but we wanted to tell you first because well, we just thought it would be right."

Riku looked confused and nodded.

"Olette is pregnant. We're having a baby." Sora said, sounding a little apologetic.

Riku stared at them both, bit his lip and smiled. "That's awesome you guys. I'm glad you told me up front cause..."

That was it- The tears came and Olette threw her arms around him as Sora stood by and tried not to sob.

"I'm ok, I'm ok." Riku choked out in sobs and that seemed to make Olette cry harder. After a few minutes, they calmed down and Riku turned and hugged Sora tight. "You're gonna be the best dad ever."

Sora hugged him back. "Thanks, Riku."

"Um, you guys gonna tell everyone soon?" Riku asked as he wiped his face dry.

"Yeah we're gonna tell everyone before winter break." Sora said.

Riku nodded. "Good, good."

"You gonna spend Christmas with Aerith?" Sora asked as Olette stood quietly.

"Yeah. Imma go hang with Hayner for a while and then come back to Mom's for Christmas." Riku said as he looked at Roxas' door. He turned to Sora and Olette. “I haven’t told Roxas about Luna.” His eyes started to tear up again and he started to chew his lip and scratch his arm lightly.

Sora stepped forward and reached for him, seeing the panic in his eyes. “Riku…”

Riku dropped his head and wrapped his arms around himself. “I can’t do this. I can’t do this.” He looked at Olette, “I’m so sorry, Oly.”

She went to him and wrapped her arms around him and Sora stepped away and let them deal with their grief. They moved away from Roxas’ door so they wouldn’t wake him and ended up going to Sora’s room to sit where Olette comforted Riku as he cried. She petted his hair and sang quietly to him From Where You Are.

Soon she felt him relax and stop crying, so she began whispering to him about the future and how he would be happy one day. He nodded against her chest and touched her belly lightly like he did when they were just teenagers, then looked up at her and smiled. “I’m ok. Thanks Oly.” He hugged her once more and went to thank Sora again.

Walking into the kitchen, he found Sora making a monster sandwich so he grabbed a cold cut off it and stuffed it in his mouth. Sora grinned, and pointed his knife threateningly.

 Riku laughed. “I wanted to thank you again Sor, for thinkin of my feelings in this. I mean this is a huge deal for you guys and you shouldn’t have to worry about anyone but each other right now.”

Sora put the knife down and took Riku’s hands. “I still care about you, Riku.”

Riku hugged him, stunned and grateful that he had met these guys. He kissed the top of Sora’s head and Sora looked up into his eyes for a second and then turned away.

  


Riku went back upstairs only to stand outside Roxas’ door, not wanting to go inside; going inside meant talking about Luna. He tried to think of the things they told him in rehab about dealing with painful memories. He wanted to run and hide and get stoned and forget and go to Destiny and get lost in the surf…

He walked away from the door and down the stairs. No one was in the den to ask him where he was going so he walked outside, down to the cemetery and lay on his favorite grave. He just needed to think… and then he fell asleep.


	41. TRUTH

TRUTH

  


Reno perched on a nearby tombstone and waited for Riku to stir. He was a Turk and this little princess could sneak off, but not from him. After giving him about 20 minutes of nap time, Reno started tossing small pebbles that he had picked up from a nearby grave. _Plink. Plink_. The pebbles bounced off Riku’s head and he waved his arm and mumbled, “Quit it Snowman…idiot.”

Reno spoke up. “Wrong number, yo.”

That brought him wide awake. He looked around wildly trying to figure out why he was outside as the sun was setting. He saw Reno perched on the tombstone looking down at him and mumbled something about Mephistopheles and hell. Standing and rubbing his cold arms he asked, “What time is it?”

Reno smiled, “Relax I only let you sleep about a half hour. It’s time for you to go to work yo.”

“Already? But I just got home.” Riku said, rubbing his eyes.

“Not work for Rufus, work for you. What you need to talk to your sweetheart about, that’s more work than any job.” Reno said offering him a smoke.

“You know about my daughter?”

Reno merely waved his hands to indicate that he wore the uniform of a Turk. Riku took the cigarette and nodded thanks. “Oh yeah. Sometimes I forget.”

They began the walk back to the Strife house but Riku started to slow his pace. “It’s kinda fucked up that no one told me that Oly had transferred here… but there was a lot going on and… you know but I just really don’t wanna talk about it, Reno.”

“I know ya don’t but ya have to. Believe it or not it’ll help you in the long run.”

“How come you are my age and you talk like an old guy?” Riku snarked.

“Because princess, I’ve lived a million lifetimes in my 21 years so maybe I am an old guy deep down yo.”

Riku looked at him and stopped walking. Reno stopped too. “What?”

Riku just stared, then started walking again. Reno cocked an eyebrow and followed. “I need to read up on care and maintenance of princesses yo.”

  


Riku went upstairs to wake Roxas. He was sound asleep, mouth open, and snoring softly. He wondered why he was sleeping so early but then remembered the night before and chuckled. He undressed quietly and slid into bed beside him. As soon as he touched Roxas skin he squeaked and curled into a ball mumbling “cold, cold, cold.” Riku laughed quietly then wrapped his chilly arms around him and whispered, “Honey, I’m home.”

Roxas straightened out like a broken deck chair then wrapped arms and legs around Riku and kissed him all over his face. Riku laughed and held him. “I missed you.”

Roxas relented and said, “I missed you too.”

“We need to talk about somethin baby, ok?” Riku said quietly.

“Ok. Is something wrong?”

“Not anymore I don’t guess, just…here” Riku pulled Roxas close so that his head was on his chest. “There’s something I need to tell you about me…about my past kinda. I should’ve told you before but it’s hard to talk about so…you remember when we were at Xemnas’ house and there were photos by my bed?”

Riku went on to explain and Roxas was shocked, and then devastated. He cried for Riku and Olette and their baby- It was so unfair. They stayed in bed for the rest of the evening and night, and Roxas fell asleep thinking about how lucky he was to have Riku. Everyone else in the Strife house fell asleep with headphones and earbuds.

The days before winter break flew by, and more and more people recognized Riku, making his days full of - _stopping to say hi, take a pic with me for my friend, here is my number call me, let_ _me touch your hair, let me touch your ass, let me blow you_. It was exhausting. All the clothes, shoes and accessories from his first shoot had been delivered to his dorm, along with a gift of more clothes and jewelry. The message attached to the delivery said: I sent some clothes, don’t be a slob at school- love R

Reno was always around somewhere, much to Axel’s delight. Friday night came and the red headed devils were in rare form. They were planning to head home for the month long break and spend some time together in Midgar; well technically _under_ it because their apartment was in the slums under plate- It was home though. They were drunk when they arrived at the House with Vanitas in tow singing  Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Axel was holding an Advent candle and Reno had a wreath around his neck that he had pilfered from Xemnas’ office door.

Demyx and Ventus were making food for everyone and there wasn’t a sober soul in the house except for Olette. Sora stood half way of the stairs and called everyone’s attention by banging two beer bottles together. “Attention please!” he had tinsel in his hair but that was just Sora. “Attention!” He stepped up one more step and yelled. “SHUT THE FUCK UP A MINUTE I HAVE SOMETHIN TA SAY!”

The room went silent. “I would liiiike to tell aaaaall of you that I love you and Oleeeette loooves yoou.” She joined him on the stairs. “Aaand wee are gonna have a BABY!” The Strife house had never been that loud before and probably never would be again. The girls were crying, the guys were congratulating, and Riku was smiling as he went over to congratulate Sora and Olette again, “This is how it’s supposed to be.” He kissed her forehead. “I’m happy for you and Sora.”

  


Later that night there was a big discussion about the ‘next best ass contest’.  “I would’ve totally won if Riku wasn’t the judge.” Roxas slurred. “He forbidded me to enter.”

“NO! I should’ve won!” Vanitas said

“Your ass was marred!” Demyx retorted, laughing. “Your ass wasn’t fit for the contest. It was the sad battered wife of asses.”

They all roared and Vanitas pointed to Axel. “It’s his fault my ass was unfit!”

Axel puffed his chest out, “Yes! It was my teeth that marred the ass and I am not ashamed to admit it!”

Vanitas hugged him and kissed his cheek.

  


The party ended earlier than usual because everyone had to depart the next day before noon. They all crashed and slept well and the Strife’s were up early and packed for their holiday.

Everyone had plans split between family and friends. Ventus was going to stay with Demyx at his apartment until Christmas week.

Roxas was going to Destiny with Riku for a week, then home to Costa with Cloud.

Vanitas was going home after a week with the Sinclairs, then to Costa.

Sora was going home with Olette to tell her parents about the baby and then they were both going to Costa for the holidays. As they were all going about their way, there was a knock at the door.

Riku was helping Roxas with his bags so he grabbed the door, “Yeah” he said as he opened it. There stood Rufus ShinRa, handkerchief in hand. Apparently he had used it to touch the door knocker. “Riku, glad I caught you.”

Riku smiled “S’up! Come inside.”

He stepped away from the door and took a long look at Riku. “I like this.” He touched his shirt, a blue green pinstriped oxford and a brown leather vest, and then brushed his finger across his neck.

“You should, Sir, you gave it to me.”

“So I did. Well, I came by to let you know that I’ve given your bodyguard the holiday off to spend with family but he will be nearby until then… So you need not worry. Also I’m aware that you plan to go to Destiny Island for some time with your friends. I would suggest strongly that you stay out of trouble. You have the spring session with Leon- don’t forget and oh! The reason I didn’t just call…” He gave Riku a large envelope and said “Merry Christmas” then he kissed his cheek, and left.

Riku was standing at the door touching his cheek where Rufus had kissed him, holding the envelope that had a large sticker that said ‘Do not open until Xmas’. Roxas came down and yelled “Ready!” jarring him from his reverie, and they headed out toward Destiny and Hayner.

  
  


The drive to Midgar for Reno, Axel, and Vanitas was long. At one point Reno pulled over and made a sign that said ‘blow me- I have $$’ and stood beside the interstate. Axel dragged him back into the car and started on their way again. “Goddammit if he can blow you while we’re on the road, somebody can blow me!” Reno huffed.

The car pulled over again, drivers switched, and they were on their way once more. The next time Reno started screaming it was because Vanitas wouldn’t let him come. He had been sucking his dick since the sign ordeal.

“Don’t do it, Reno.” Axel said as he drove with one hand and squeezed Vanitas’ denim clad ass with the other. “You better not do it, I swear ta fuckin God.”

“Shut up Runt! Goddammit, Strife! Imma tell your daddy!” Reno threatened as Vanitas hummed around his erection trying to smile. Reno believed there was evil in the world…and in his car.

Vanitas squeezed Reno every time Axel squeezed his ass. Reno was screaming, "Pull over Axel! Pull this fucking car over right fuckin now yo! Both you motherfuckers crazy! I'll take the goddam bus to Midgar yo!"

Vanitas pulled off him slowly and laughed like a madman. Reno had laid the seat all the way back and even let Vanitas tie his hands with the seat belt thinking he was in for a kinky, good time but now he was trapped-  unless he wanted to cause an accident and maybe lose his dick in the process. Vanitas was perched on top of him like some kind of creepy ass raven. His shins across Reno's thighs, _all those tattoos, wild hair, what’s going on with his eyes?_

Vanitas licked up Reno's abs and across his chest as he continued to protest, panting and cursing his body for betraying him. "Goddammit Runt! Get your flying monkey off me yo!"

Vanitas sank his teeth into the ginger’s pectoral. "AAAAAHHHH!!!! Sorry, sorry, sorry!!"

Axel grabbed Vanitas' jeans with his right hand, still steering with his left, and tugged until he had dragged them halfway down his hips. Vanitas returned to Reno's cock to shut up his screaming momentarily, and slid down into the floor so he could get more of Reno into his mouth.

Axel started undoing his own jeans while he drove. Glancing down at the speed (110) he eased off the gas.

Reno looked over and said "Are seriously gonna, oooohhhh... Goddamn...don't do that while you drive yo."

Axel continued touching himself and hissed, "Fuck you Reno. I'm watchin my boyfriend suck your dick, any argument you have is invalid."

Reno could do nothing but grunt as Vanitas swallowed, his throat gripping him. "Goddammit Axel! I'm gonna come."

"You better fuckin not, motherfucker!” Axel yelled. “If you come down his throat I swear to God I'll tell him to bite it off!"

Reno screamed again, "Pull over! Pull over! Pull over!"

Vanitas reached back behind himself and Reno started praying the rosary in a whisper.

Axel groaned "Vani..."

The prayers slowed at the same rate as the car and Reno thought he was home free. But then a shadow fell across the car as it rolled to a stop somewhere shaded. Axel put the car in park and set the hand brake.

Reno unclenched his eyes and peeked to see Vanitas two fingers deep in his own ass and looking right at him as he slurped off his cock and said, "Fuck me, Axel."

Reno never heard the driver's door open but he heard it click shut almost at the same time his door opened. Axel grabbed Vanitas' jeans and jerked his ass around and out the open door while Vanitas looked at the bound Reno with an evil grin. He never took his hands off Reno's hips as Axel jerked his jeans down his thighs and kicked his feet apart. The yellow in his eyes flickered in the afternoon sun that filtered through the trees. Reno saw the healing bite marks on Vanitas' hip as he descended on him again.

"No no no no no no no!" With each 'no' he sounded more desperate. Axel laughed and sounded just like the devil, Reno thought, and resumed prayer. “Credo in Deum Patrem omnipoténtem, Creatórem cæli et terræ. Et in Iesum Christum, Fílium eius únicum, Dóminum nostrum, qui concéptus est de Spíritu Sancto, natus ex María Vírgine…”

Vanitas pulled away from him again and Reno thought joyously - _it worked! The demon's leavin_ _me!_ He bravely opened his eyes to see Vanitas biting his lip making both the steel rings pull painfully while his evil twin shoved inside him. He saw Vanitas' legs shaking then the pain on his face was replaced with ecstasy and he moaned and grabbed at Reno's hips, clawing and digging while Axel fucked him brutally.

When he stopped struggling, the standing redhead shoved his boyfriend’s face down toward Reno again. The raven cackled and sucked Reno down, and Axel cursed.

_He’s doing that thing again_ , Reno thought. _This is witchery_! "Shit! Axel, I'm gonna come Goddammit!"

"You better not! What I say?!”

Right on cue Vanitas dragged his teeth lightly down his cock and Reno screeched, "Please! Ok?! Please Axel! Please."

Vanitas spit him out and sunk his teeth into Reno's inner thigh as Axel groaned, Vanitas jerked, and Reno screamed.


	42. DRAGON

DRAGON

  


Reno drove the last leg of the trip to Midgar. The evil twin and his serpent kept each other busy in the back seat. Reno began his mental notes like it was a mission:

_Day 1- bound and tortured, then forced to drive. I may or may not need a tetanus shot. The red one seems to control the serpent but not completely. Sleeping under the same roof as these two will be dangerous but the red one seems to be motivated by food. That could prove helpful. The Serpent is only motivated by suffering. He may or may not need a priest_.

  


Demyx sat watching Ventus cook. He was truly happy. This would be his best year ever. As Ventus turned to smile at him Demyx reached for him and said, “Ven, I love you.”

Ventus dropped what he was doing and ran into his arms. “I love you too, Dem.”

“Move in with me. I mean like after you see your dad and all. I’ll move outta the dorm and we can live here. I love you and I wanna be with you all the time.” Demyx kissed Ventus’ cheek and untied his apron strings. Ventus kissed Demyx and said, "Yes!”

Demyx couldn’t wait to tell Reno. He hoped that he would find someone to share his life with, but he always kept everyone at a distance. There were people he trusted but never anyone he seemed to love, except for Axel.

  


Tattooed hands crept around the back of the seat like giant spiders and gripped Reno's shoulders. "Aahhhh!" Vanitas groaned, squeezing the shoulders of the driver. Reno kept driving with chills standing on his arms. _The guttural sounds from behind came from the serpent_. His jeans had been tossed up front earlier and Reno knew they would spend the rest of the trip molesting each other, and he wanted no part of it. He _had enough crazy in my life, thank you_.

He turned the music up louder so he didn’t have to hear most of it but once in a while there would be a desperate scream that would make him jump. He opened his window slightly so he could breathe. The smell of blood mixed with the sweet smell of cinnamon and chocolate was nauseating, but they were almost home.

  


Xion lay peacefully watching Cloud. He stared at her with clear blue eyes that reflected the sky and seemed to warm her skin. The sand was warm and the waves crashed nearby making her drowsy. Cloud traced a finger down her cheek, her shoulder, then down her hip. He looked like he was deep in thought and she didn't want to intrude by speaking. His hand came to rest on the beach blanket between them and she reached up to cover it with hers and he closed his eyes. Peace wasn't something Cloud was accustomed to. Xion touched his lips and his nose before kissing him lightly. "Hungry baby?"

"Lil bit." he smiled. She didn't know that the sound of her voice was musical to him or that he could hear her heart beating faintly from this distance. She didn't know what mako enhancements were; she just knew she was in love with this man. Whatever his past, or however many kids he had, or however many former lovers, or even the years between them; none of it mattered to her. She rolled to her stomach and started to get up.

"Where you going?"

"To make you some lunch." Xion smiled.

"Let's eat out here, yes?" Cloud said as he got up to join her.

"Yes." She smiled. "It's so beautiful here. I could stay here forever."

They walked toward the steps that led to the large sun deck of Cloud's beach home and he took her hand in his, swinging it gently. "Could you now?"

She giggled. "I didn't mean...I just meant" she laughed "You know what I'm tryin to say."

He laughed softly and tugged her over to bump her shoulder. "Would you like to?"

She bumped him back and swung their hands. "Sure. In a utopian world where I didn't have to dance to pay my tuition and eat, then yes I would."

At the top of the steps he stopped and turned to her. "Xion..."

"Hmm?"

"I'm asking you if you would like to live with me."

Xion stared at him for a long moment; too long for Cloud's stomach not to be eating itself.

"Yes" she whispered. She was scared that if she spoke too loud she would wake from her dream.

Cloud hugged her, smiling. "Well you don't have to look so sad about it. There's a school here you can transfer into. I'm away for work some, but I'm home more than I'm away."

She sniffed and he felt her shaking. "What's wrong Xi? I don't want you to feel like you have to do this. I know you have friends and a whole other life in Twilight Town. I still want to be with you even if you choose not to live here. I just wanted to ask you because, well because I would like for you to live with me. I didn't mean to pressure you."

Xion shook her head and smiled as he wiped her tears. "You ever see those people on TV who have nothing their entire life but then suddenly they have everything? Well that's how I feel right now and this is my celebratory cry, so let me have it, Cloud Strife." She whimpered.

He laughed and hugged her tightly. "Ok. Have your cry and I'll make lunch."

  


Riku and Roxas flew to Destiny. At Hayner’s, which was only a mile from Xemnas’ home, they waited to be granted access to the big beach house. Riku stared into Roxas’ eyes and noted that he looked excited and happy… and that was enough for Riku for now. He needed to be on the ocean- his heart burned in anticipation. He couldn’t smell the ocean without wanting to touch it and the moment he was in the water, he felt peace.

Hayner opened the door wearing a full wetsuit and snorkel mask. “Come on in, I just got your message…been snorkeling.”

They walked in, sitting their bags down. Roxas liked Hayner’s place instantly. “This house is great Hayner. It reminds me of home.”

Hayner beamed and then said to Riku, “What’s wrong man? You look like you’re about to have a stroke. Gotta jones?”

Riku laughed at that and replied, “Serious jones.”

“Let’s go then!” Hayner said as the two started to strip as they headed for the stairs. Soon they were all changed and ready to hit the surf. Out on the ocean they were free. Riku knew in his heart that he couldn’t be truly happy living in Twilight Town or Midgar. He needed this like he needed air.

Later, Roxas watched him surf as he lay on the beach. He was amazing and beautiful when he was happy and just as beautiful but devastatingly dark when he was sad. He felt a rush of emotion as he realized how close he came to losing Riku. Being clean brought lucidity. He loved Riku, but did he have what it took to be what Riku needed? He thought of the exhausting times when Riku was strung out and wondered how long it would be before he relapsed. Could he do it again? He thought of the year he spent hiding their relationship. Why did he do it, really? He did it because he didn’t think Riku would commit to him and be faithful. _Look at him_ , Roxas thought. _What do I have to offer him?_

He thought of Sora and Olette and their baby. _Sora’s at her place right now giving her parents the news._ He watched Hayner with Riku together. Hayner was still a kid, but he had to grow up fast hanging with Riku. They had history, Riku, Hayner, Olette, and Snow. In that moment, Roxas felt like a very small and insignificant part of Riku’s life.

Riku came jogging up to where he sat and sprawled out beside him. He didn't speak as he reached up and dragged him down into a wet, salty kiss. His soft lips pressed against Roxas' and his warm tongue chased away all the negative thoughts. Tugging the zipper to Riku's waist.  He felt a strong hand cover his. "Let's go inside. This is the public beach, you lech." Riku giggled.

"Where's Hayner?" Roxas asked breathlessly as they started toward the house.

"He went into town to get some stuff for tonight. Havin a bonfire." Riku said as he pulled his arms free from his suit.

Inside the glass doors they stripped and clung to one another. Riku pressed against him and his cool wet skin felt too smooth, like he wasn't real. His hands were like silk touching Roxas’ body but his muscles were hard. Roxas was torn between moaning at the sensations and screaming. They stumbled into the bathroom because it was the closest place to them that had a lockable door and lube. Riku flipped the lock and started searching for something he could use as Roxas hopped up onto the countertop.

Roxas watched Riku root through drawers and cabinets. _His ass is amazing_. Out of curiosity he slid off the countertop and walked to the full-length mirror, turning to look at his own ass.

"This'll work… What ya doin baby?" He asked as he approached the blonde sounding amused.

"Looking at my painfully inferior ass."

Riku giggled "What? That's ridiculous. Your ass is beautiful. Your ass is _amazing_." He reached around Roxas with both hands and grabbed his ass and squeezed. "And it's mine!"

Roxas hissed. "Is that what you want?"

"Today and every day, baby" Riku said as he picked him up and walked to the shower.

  
  


Reno, Axel, and Vanitas went into the apartment and Axel immediately jumped on the sofa. "God I've missed this!"

Vanitas laughed and turned to Reno, "Is it ok to smoke?"

Reno looked at him and mumbled "Yeah, whatever."

He approached, making him casually put his hand on his waist to be closer to the 1911 in his belt. "Hey, are you pissed about earlier, in the car?" Vanitas asked seriously.

"Not pissed. Just not gonna happen again yo. But that's not on you. I'll handle that with my brother." Reno said.

"What's up?" Axel said, approaching them looking a little like a cat stalking its prey.

"Vanitas needs a smoke and I'm goin out yo. Enjoy. Be back later." Reno said as he left.

Axel and Vanitas looked at one another and bolted for the door, yelling "We wanna goooo!"

Reno grinned but they couldn't see. He was a Turk goddammit and two freaks and a little kinky sex wasn't gonna scare him.

_Day 2- Took the red one and the serpent out last night to baptize them in holy water at 7th Heaven. We brought home 3 strippers and exorcised those demons. Mission complete yo_.

  
  


Hayner came home with boxes and bags and Snow. They heard banging in the downstairs bathroom and walked to the door and stood.

"Goddammit Rox! Ahhhh fuck baby" they heard Riku and snickered quietly.

The noises changed and they heard a yelp that could only be Roxas. They snickered again.

"Riku, my...my ow! Haha haha!"

Then Riku laughed. Then Roxas squealed so loud that Snow and Hayner jumped and bumped into each other when their flight instinct kicked in. They snickered at each other. The bathroom grew quiet except for hushed voices and squishy noises. They looked at each other and mouthed "Nope" and walked away giving the lovers their privacy.

  
  


Vanitas had never been under plate. He was amazed at everything and all the people who knew the redheads. There were some people who crossed the street when they saw them. Some people gave them stuff. There was one lady from a shop in Wall Market who came out and hugged them and gave them sweets. She was really old and they called her Baba. Axel explained that Baba was short for obaasan which meant grandmother. There was no further explanation and they kept moving.

They stopped into a tattoo and piercing parlor where Vanitas immediately felt at home. Axel hopped up on the counter and yelled "Jiji!" while Reno walked behind the counter and grabbed a drink from the cooler. The patrons who were waiting watched the three intently. One boy who didn’t look old enough to be in the place, spoke to Axel “Anatahadare?”

Axel replied, “Watashi wa Daremoinai.”

The boy looked at Vanitas and Reno then motioned toward Reno, “Fenikkusu?”

Axel smiled and nodded at the kid. The kid sat for a moment looking at Vanitas who was leaning on the counter staring back at him. “Sono hito wa daredesu ka?”

Axel grinned evilly and leaned over toward the kid and said, “Kare wa watashi no doragondesu!”

The kid’s eyes got huge and he stood up and bowed to Axel, Vanitas, and in Reno’s direction, then ran out the door yelling “Fenikkusu to dare mo ryū o motte konakatta!”

Vanitas watched as the other people in the shop looked at him curiously. He grinned, the yellow flashing in his eyes, the silver hoops touching his white teeth. They were all convinced.

  


 


	43. BONFIRE OF DESTINY

BONFIRE OF DESTINY

  


Roxas came running through the house past Snow and Hayner, screaming like his ass was on fire. He was wearing only a towel and was slipping everywhere on wet feet. Riku wasn’t far behind, looking like a menace as he growled and slipped on Roxas’ wet trail.  Hayner was eating a sub sandwich that he had halved with Snow as they watched the spectacle. “They act like this a lot?’ Snow asked as he munched.

“Pretty much, yeah…” Hayner said, amused.

Roxas screamed again from upstairs and then it got quiet. Hayner looked at Snow and said, “I honestly don’t see how they accomplish _anyfuckingthing_ at school. Seriously.”

Snow nodded. “Let’s go set up for the fire, man. Maybe they’ll be dressed by then.”

Hayner laughed. “Maybe.”

  
  


The tattoo artist was an old man who the twins called Jiji. Axel asked Vanitas to show the old artist his dragons. He was very complimentary, so he bowed in thanks and then explained in Japanese, what the dragons symbolized. The old man decided they needed sake and a smoke.

As they sat on cushions on the floor, their Jiji told a story of four dragons. It was a wild tale of adventure where the red dragon prospered and had many children, the golden dragon fell in love with a mortal who charmed him with music, the green dragon lost his heart to a hydra, and the black dragon charmed a fire beast and kept it as a slave.

After quiet contemplation about the story, they got what they came for and left. Axel got a large black dragon tattoo that ran from his ribs to his knee.

  


“Guys I gotta go to Destiny, still workin yo” Reno said as he packed a small bag.

“K” Axel said grinning and Reno gave him the stink eye. “We’ll behave.”

“You fail to remember the drive up here. You two don’t know the concept of behavin yo! I’ll be back in a few days if everything’s cool. Try not to cannibalize each other while I’m gone.”

“No promises.” Vanitas leered at Axel as Reno cringed and shivered.

“Whatever, yo.” he hugged and kissed his brother, then hugged Vanitas and kissed his temple and left.

  
  


Riku had messaged Serah and Vanille that morning, inviting them to the bonfire if they were nearby. They showed up right at sunset looking beautiful. Serah wasn’t passing up a chance to meet Snow. She hadn’t even worked up the courage to text him but she was walking down the beach to meet him. Vanille was along to hang out with Riku and be there in case Snow turned out to be a jerk. That’s what girlfriends did after all. Riku saw them and yelled “Ladies!”

Snow looked up at them. Seeing the pink hair, he turned to Riku who said, “I forgot to tell you I invited Serah and Vanille.”

Snow grinned at him and said quietly, “You invited models to our lowly bonfire. Dude, I’m honored and humbled in your silvery presence.”

Riku laughed at him and said, “Ok well bring your humble ass over with me to say hi and then I’ll leave you to it. I know you don’t need any help with the ladies.”

Snow adjusted his beanie and walked over with Riku to meet them. Riku introduced them and noticed that Serah hadn’t taken her eyes off Snow since she spotted him. They had only said ‘hi’ but they were smiling at one another. Serah didn’t say a word as she reached up and pulled Snow’s beanie off. Long blonde dreads fell across his face. He reached out and touched her pink pigtails.

Riku looked at Vanille and winked. He figured that would work out well. “Come on Vanille and you can meet everyone while they, um…touch hair or whatever.”

Vanille laughed. “Ok Riku. Thanks for inviting us. I was in Radiant Garden and Serah was in Port Royal. She hopped a plane immediately and met me in Radiant. So, is this your place?” She asked as they walked toward the crowd around the fire.

 “No, it’s my buddy Hayner’s place. I don’t really have my own place yet. I could stay with my mom, but she lives in Twilight Town. I like to be near the ocean so wherever I settle, there will be waves.” Riku said as he looked down the beach toward Xemnas’ house. It was dark except for the security lights.

They approached the fire and he introduced her to everyone. She seemed at ease and grabbed a beer. News had gotten around of Riku’s presence on the island and people had come from Radiant to see him- and of course the drugs followed. Vanille was passed a joint and hit it twice and passed it on to Hayner who hadn’t been there when introductions were made. He eyed her, “Are you from Radiant? You look really familiar.”

“No…yes, I mean no. Fuck.” she scowled.

Hayner laughed. “It’s cool but seriously are you from around here?”

“No, I’m originally from Midgar. Riku invited me and my friend Serah. My name’s Vanille, nice to meet you.”

“Oh you’re one of the models! I’m Hayner,” he said as they clinked their bottles together.

  


The bonfire was roaring when Sora came down. He told the guys that Olette wanted to spend some time with her folks and then glanced at Riku who just turned his face away to look out at the moonlight reflecting off the ocean. Roxas gave Riku a bottle of rum and said, “Here ya go. You can be a pirate tonight.”

Riku laughed and pressed his fingers to his eyes then turned the bottle up. Just as he took the bottle from his lips his phone buzzed. He passed the bottle back to Roxas who chugged it while he checked his message.

Rufus: You have a night flight tomorrow. Don’t miss it. Reno has your paperwork.

Riku: r u always workin??

Rufus: Yes. Why? Are you misbehaving?

Riku yelled, “Everyone come in for a picture! My boss asked me what I was doin!” The photo he sent to Rufus made him gasp.

Rufus: That’s positively indecorous. Is that Vanille?

Riku: if I say yes will she be in trouble?

Rufus: Maybe not…what will you offer to save her from my wrath?

Riku: o.O …um what u have in mind?

Rufus: How about a pic of you and your sweetheart. I know he’s there.

Riku: Yes, I’ll send a pic of me and Rox

Rufus: kissing

Riku: LECH!

Rufus: Yes, send the pic

Riku got a volunteer to take a pic of them kissing and sent it to the boss, then he proceeded to get pretty stoned. There were people everywhere doing all manner of illegal things, and eventually someone from Radiant yelled, “Hey Riku! We saw you on TV and apparently the gen pub thinks seeing your naked ass is a novelty!”

Riku turned to see the guy and said, “Yeah the general consensus is that it’s worth photographing, so… I guess it was generous of me to give you guys a preview.”

That was the beginning of “Riku” stories. Roxas was shocked at some of the things they said. _Riku did what to whom and how many times when he was high on what? And Riku did what to whom because they did what and needed how many stitches. And the ever popular, ‘Remember_ _that time Riku died’_.

The more they talked, the more stoned Riku got and then Olette showed up. Roxas watched the downward spiral and decided the best thing he could do for Riku would be to get him back up to the house, and away from Radiant first thing in the morning. Just when he was about to begin his campaign to leave the party, a shady looking guy walked over and bumped Riku’s arm, “Wanna hit?”

“Fuck yeah. Come on, Rox.” Riku spat as he started to walk away.

Roxas grabbed his elbow. “Come on Riku, let’s don’t ok?”

“It’s just one hit. I’ll share it with ya.”

Roxas shook his head and looked down at the sand. “No thanks man. I’ll hang here.”

Riku looked at Roxas once more, thinking that he probably should just stay there… stay clean, then turned and walked away into the darkness.

Roxas stood mutely and watched him go. He thought of a time back in high school when Sora had let _him_ walk away...he ended up in rehab. Riku wouldn't do that... _would he?_

  


Riku walked with the odd-looking guy and chatted about drugs. "I got plenty of junk but what I really love is speedballin."

"Def..." Riku said. "Let's just stop here. I don't wanna go too far from the fire…my boyfriend's still there."

The guy nodded "If that sweet little twink was mine I don't think I could've walked away."

"Hmmph, you got the twink part right but I could debate the sweet." Riku laughed, noticing that they were nearly at the Xemnas estate. "Let's go in here."

"Are you sure?" The guy asked. "I'm from Radiant so this is your turf, Riku."

"Yeah I'm sure...I used to live here. S'my dad’s house." Riku said as they entered and started up to his suite. He questioned briefly the wisdom of leaving Roxas on the beach at a party with a bunch of single people…or with Sora for that matter. One was as likely as the other to cause a rift between them. He didn’t want to hear any more ‘Riku’ stories but Roxas seemed intent on hearing all of them…he wondered if he was retaining all that to throw back into his face the next time he felt like gutting him emotionally…it was only a matter of time.

 

Upstairs he opened the doors and windows like he always did, then sat on the floor and waved the guy over. He was ready to cook and forget.

"Uhh... My name's Wakka...by the way..." He said as he looked around at the billowing white sheers as if Riku had sprinkled fairy dust over the room.

"Cool, Wakka. You know me already so sit and let's do this..." Riku was ready to get his fix.

Wakka sat in front of him and pushed his bag across the floor, allowing him to plunder it for whatever he wanted.

"So is it all true?" Wakka asked.

"The rich boy stories, the junkie stories, or the orgy stories?" Riku smirked as he started cooking up some brown.

"All of it..." Wakka said as he watched Riku in awe as he loaded and rummaged for a tie.

"Yes." Riku nodded as he grabbed one end of the rubber tubing with his teeth, grinning, and tied off. Wakka sat staring at him thinking of all the stories he had heard about the infamous party boy who had OD’ed and been arrested repeatedly. _I’m_ _looking at a dead man_ , he thought.

Riku injected his drugs and his head drooped eyes fluttering. Wakka saw a smile spread across his face as he put his hands on the floor and then laid back. "Goooooooduuuuhhh" Riku moaned, "I love this..."

Wakka crawled over and lay on his back beside him, watching the sheers billow about. The longer they stared the more they seemed to have a life of their own. The redhead lit some greens and shared with Riku. "So tell me about your little boyfriend..."

"He's the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen... You ever hear bout love at first sight? That was me with Roxas. He came to my dorm one night and that was it, man. I knew I had to have him."

Wakka grunted and said, "I guess I haven't met the right one yet...never felt that way bout anyone. So why didn't he wanna come with?"

Riku thought for a moment and said "He's clean right now and didn't wanna... he didn't want me to either.” He quieted as he thought about the gravity of what he had done. “I'm not a very good boyfriend."

Wakka nodded. "Wanna get some for the road, Riku? I gotta jet."

Riku nodded, knowing that nobody liked to trip sit with a sap. Wakka was bailing on him because he wasn’t fun right now but Riku didn’t care. "Just gimme some blow dude, and you can be on your way."

"How about a trade?" Wakka asked, looking Riku over.

"Fuck. You. If you think I'm sucking your dick for a little blow." Riku laughed making Wakka cackle.

"Nooo...you're a fucking _legend_. I was thinking since you got more money than God, you could give me that shirt. Hell, I would ask you to sign it but I don't have a pen." He laughed.

Riku roared as he lay on the floor. Sitting up he pulled his shirt over his head and draped it across his fan. "Here... take it.

"Oh wait dude, I actually have a Sharpie!" Wakka giggled making Riku laugh again. Producing a black Sharpie, he handed it to Riku along with the shirt.

"You're fucking serious right now?" Riku giggled taking the marker.

"Hell Yeah!" Wakka said and Riku rolled to his stomach and laid the shirt on the white marble floor, staring at it briefly. He shook his head and chuckled as he scrawled - _stay high, Riku_

Wakka laughed. “That’s sick as fuck, right there!” as Riku wrote the date under his name. "Since you do the modeling thing I know that can’t be the first time you’ve been asked for an autograph."

"No... Signed a bunch since I started modeling. Signed clothes, photos, body parts..." Riku giggled. "It's a little different though when I'm signing cause I'm a legendary junkie..."

Wakka nodded as his smile faded. "Everybody says you're immortal."

Riku smiled up at him. "I assure you, I'm not... and one day I'll prove it."

Wakka stared at him, recalling the story about Riku that had been in the newspaper…the one where he was found near death in his father’s house… _this_ house. Looking around the dim room, he thought of how it must feel to be Riku…to have cheated death…to be a legend.

  


Riku lay spread eagle on his back on the cool marble as he mumbled something about hitting light. “What’s that dude?” Wakka asked leaning closer, clutching his prize.

“I said I hit light…I want another before I go back to Roxas…cause he’s gonna be pissed.” Riku said quietly as he marveled at the sound of his own voice. God, but he did love his drugs.

“You can keep this and I’ll leave you to it. If your dad comes home, he might not mind finding you here but me…that’s another story and I’m not tryin to go to jail tonight.” Wakka said as he dropped a baggie and a few balloons by Riku and stood to go.

“Wakka! Good to meet ya dude.” Riku raised a fist still lying flat on the floor. Wakka stepped over and gave him a bump and left him there. Down the stairs and out the way he came, he decided to skip the rest of the beach party. He had made all the sales he cared to make and he sure didn’t want to be around if the great Riku OD’ed on his junk and disproved his immortality that night.

Riku rolled to his side and looked at the coke and heroin and smiled.  “I’m your bitch you know that, right?” He said to the drugs, then giggled. Getting to his knees he collected his things then stood and staggered to the bathroom. The lights were too bright and the memories were too vivid. _Luna,_ he thought… _my baby. I miss you so much._ He slid down the wall as he began to panic. _I can’t lose it right now, especially not here._ _I’ll just hit one more time and then go back to the fire with Roxas_. _Yeah_ , _I just need to be with Roxas_.

As he pushed the plunger down for the second time, he realized that he had no idea how long it had been since his first hit and _how much did I do?_ By the time his limp hand fell to the floor, needle still sticking in his arm, body slumped to the side, his brain was reminding him that his last hit hadn’t been that long ago and _yes, you are overdosing again_.

Everything went black and Riku began to seize. He woke choking on vomit. In his panic the needle fell from his arm as he tried to clear his airway. Flopping onto his stomach, he passed out again.

Regaining consciousness once more, all he could smell was blood and his throat was on fire. He couldn’t swallow and he could hardly get air into his lungs. His mind couldn’t process properly and he thought that he was late for class, or that he was supposed to go to Oly’s, or that Snow was waiting for him outside. He thought all of these things but could only lie on the floor and moan. He began to pant, then passed out once more.

  


_This time there was another world inside his head where Roxas was smiling and happy. He hugged Riku and whispered to him like he did with Sora. Riku felt happy until Roxas said “Look at my arms Riku… they hurt. Can you help me?”_

_He showed Riku tracks that were black and green and filled with pus. Riku started to cry and vomit again. Why had he done that? Why did he help Roxas start shooting drugs? Roxas would be better off if I were dead, Dream Riku thought as he puked all over his boyfriend’s infected arms._

_Roxas disappeared from his dream and he turned around in a full circle looking for him. “Roxas!’ he screamed over and over. Finally, his cries were answered but not by the blonde._

_“Stop screaming Riku… stop it right now.” A stern voice said, that Riku recognized as the ‘wake up’ voice…his real dad._

_“Father? Is that you? I know that’s you! Why can’t I just die and be with you?” Riku wailed._

_“You need to live, Riku. You have the opportunity to do great things.” Sephiroth’s voice said_.

_“I wanna see you…can I see you?” Riku cried helplessly at the void of his dream world but all he heard was silence_.

_Seconds seemed like lifetimes until a figure appeared, approaching him. It wasn’t his father like he had asked, it was his little girl. She looked beautiful and very much like her daddy. Her silver hair was in pigtails and her dress was blindingly white. Riku fell to his knees and embraced Luna when she reached for him. He smelled her hair and cuddled her close whispering “I love you, I love you my baby girl. I’ve missed you so much.”_

_“I’m with you all the time, Daddy.” She said softly and he cried. His heart was filled and for the moment he felt whole. She would have been six years old had she lived and that’s how she appeared to him in his dream._

_“Daddy, Grandfather said you have to wake up and stop hurting yourself. I don’t want you to hurt.” Luna said as she played with his hair._

_“I just want to be with you. Nobody here cares about me… they don’t need me here.” Riku said drying his tears and sitting on the floor._

_Luna sat on his lap and began braiding a strand of his hair. “But I’m with you all the time…I’m everywhere you are.”_

_“Tell me everything, baby. Are you happy?” Riku asked watching tiny fingers work the strands of hair._

_“I am!” She smiled, looking up at him with wide green eyes. “I watch you and sometimes I play with your hair while you sleep. I like your friends…some of them. Grandfather says that the blonde boy’s father is an angel too… but he’s still there… alive.”_

_Looking over her shoulder as if someone was talking to her, she slowly turned to Riku and cocked her head. “It’s time for you to wake up now, Daddy. I love you.”_

_“Will you stay with me, Luna?” Riku asked near tears again_.

_“I will. I will sit right here until you wake up but then you won’t see me anymore. Don’t be scared, Daddy.” Luna said releasing his hair and wrapping small arms around his neck. Riku smiled and buried his nose against her, closing his eyes to his dream world._

  
  


Reno arrived on Destiny Island and went right to Hayner's. It was early but he needed to check on the body he was supposed to be guarding. He knocked and got no reply. He went in and found the downstairs empty. Upstairs there was Snow and Serah in one room and Hayner and Vanille in another. No Roxas or Riku. He headed to the beach. He bypassed all the bodies that weren't Riku and kept moving. He had spotted Roxas and Sora snuggled close, but no Riku. He knew waking them for questions would just slow him down and he had a pretty good idea where Riku’s head would be. As he walked toward Xemnas' place he got that feeling in his gut. "Nooooo Riku, no." Reno whispered. "Don't be wasted, don't be dead."

The inside of the estate reminded him of a mausoleum and that didn't help his gut at all. He searched the ground floor and found nothing. Upstairs all the rooms were closed and it looked undisturbed. On the top floor, the door was open and he heard retching. _Great_ , he thought as he walked inside. The sound of vomiting echoing off tile led him to the bathroom. Expecting to find a hangover, he wasn't prepared for the blood. Riku was only wearing shorts, his shirt and shoes were nowhere to be seen, and there was puke and blood all over the floor and toilet.

"Hey princess. Looks like I'm just in time for the funeral yo. What the fuck did you do to yourself?"

When Riku opened his eyes again he was aware of two things: first that he wasn’t dead, second that he wasn’t alone…someone was talking. Seconds ticked by and he listened to the panic in the voice of the other. He closed his eyes again willing his heart to stop but having no luck and then looked up to see Reno turning on the shower and taking his jacket and shirt off… watch off…  gun, belt, boots off, and rolled up pants while he talked on the phone. "I need damage control on Destiny for SephiKu. I need two and a bird. Yes. I got him. Yep. Donno yet. I'll have him there. Ok."

Reno dragged him out of the mess and into the spray. Riku still hadn't made a sound other than gagging. Reno propped him against the wall and he started making a choking sound.

"Aaahhh! Goddammit Riku don't you fuckin..." He leaned him forward and he started gagging again. "Shit shit SHIT!"

Reno said as his pants started getting wet. "Fuck it" he hopped out, stripped, and stepped back in. Riku was trying to get on his hands and knees but his arms wouldn't cooperate so he was only on one knee and one elbow. Reno got on his knees in the shower and checked Riku's pupils, pulse, and tried to find where the blood was coming from.

Scooting under the spray, he pulled Riku over with him and rinsed the puke and blood from his hair while his head hung down. Reno pulled him back against his chest and tipped his head back to lie on his shoulder. Riku's eyes were half open but Reno had no idea what he was seeing, if anything. He began to pray. Riku coughed and Reno held his head upright, noting that no blood seemed to be coming from his nose. His stomach muscles contracted and blood and bile dripped out of his mouth.

"That's it, princess. Get it out.”

Riku moved his right hand to touch his left wrist and Reno watched as he rubbed the old scars. He thought of Axel, and growing up in the slums. Even though they had a shitty childhood, they always had each other. This guy had nobody. Reno petted his hair while he heaved a few more times. "Where's that fuckin chopper?" Reno grumbled.

He managed to get Riku out of his underwear and reasonably clean before his phone beeped once. "About time yo."

Rude walked into the bathroom and didn't hesitate to pick Riku up and wrap him in a bath sheet while Reno dressed. They exited the house through the front door where the chopper on the front lawn of the Xemnas estate was ready to whisk them away to Midgar. 

“You got transpo?” Reno asked Rude.

“Yeah.” Rude said.

“Good. Find out what you can. I’ll fly him back yo.”

"We need to know who he was with. When you find him, if he's not a Strife, just snuff that motherfucker cause this shit needs to be contained yo. I'm staying with SephiKu."

  


 


	44. WORK

WORK

  


Roxas and Sora went inside Hayner's house and called out for anybody. The two couples were in the kitchen. "S'up?"

"Where's Riku?" Roxas asked.

"We thought he was with you."

"He was but he bailed. Went with some creepy guy to get high." Roxas described the guy to Snow and Hayner.

"That's a guy from Radiant who used to deal here. Prolly still does but I grow my own and I quit the candy." Snow said.

A huge bald man wearing dark glasses a uniform everyone recognized walked right through the door, not knocking or even slowing down. He approached Roxas and said simply, "Reno has taken Riku back to Midgar. He'll contact you later with details."

The man turned to a stunned Hayner and Snow. "I need to know the name of the last person he was seen with."

They blurted the dealer's name at the same time and he nodded, looked at the girls who were completely mortified, and spoke less harshly. "My name is Rude. If you need anything" he looked at all of them, "Roxas has my number."

"I do?" Roxas squeaked.

Rude left and he checked his phone. Sure enough, there it was. Damn Turk hackers. "Riku must be pretty pissed so Imma head out guys. I've text him a few times but got no reply so maybe he'll contact one of you." Roxas said as he held Sora's hand.

"You goin home Rox?" Sora asked quietly. Roxas lay his head on Sora's shoulder and whispered "Yes."

Sora whispered, "I love you Roxy."

“I love you too, Sor” Roxas whispered. To the others in the room they looked like lovers whispering to one another with their eyes closed. The girls watched them with devious smiles while Snow and Hayner were trying to figure out why a guy getting stoned at a bonfire warranted a visit from a Turk.

 

Roxas went home to Costa Del Sol to find his dad and Xion decorating a Christmas tree. They were happy to see him but concerned when they saw that he was upset and alone. He told them about Riku running off and the Turk who was Kratos at Halloween showing up. Cloud assured him that he would find out all he could. Roxas checked his messages again to find nothing from Riku, then he text Sora to let him know that he was home.

  
  


Riku woke up in a hospital room naked and strapped to his bed. There was a sheet bunched around his feet. The room was white and very sterile-looking. As he became more lucid, he realized that he had an NG tube and a cannula, and an IV in the back of his hand.

A nurse came in and spoke, "I'm going to tell you about your condition. Please don't try to speak. Any questions you have will need to wait until you are allowed a writing utensil or computer. You were brought in this morning and treated for overdose of opiates, a ruptured esophagus, ruptured membranes in your nose, bleeding ulcers… and a cavity. All your problems have been addressed. Your friend Mr. Roxas Strife was informed that you had been brought back to Midgar but not of your condition." She checked her watch and continued. "Please do not try to move your head. Raise one finger for yes and two for no. Do you know where you are?"

Yes

"Do you know who brought you here?"

No

"Do you wish to know?"

Yes

"The man you need to thank is Reno Sinclair. Had he not found you, you would likely be dead. He will be in to see you shortly."

She paused and put her iPad down, her demeanor softening. "I knew your father briefly, Sir. Apparently he had the same bent for self-destruction as you. Not by using drugs, but efforts were made all the same. Please accept help and live… I wish he had. Reno will be in shortly."

  


She was right. Reno came in shortly. And he was pissed. His eyes were sparkly and wide. "Hey there princess, you almost broke my streak yo. I've NEVER lost a client and you fuckin died on the way here. I'm not countin it though since ya didn't _stay_ dead."

Riku's eyes followed him as he ranted.

"I donno what _the fuck_ you were thinkin when you did that shit but Imma make it my business yo, even if I have to inject you with sodium pentothal. You fuck with my _head_ now. _In my life_ I’ve been through some shit but I never gave up and _TRIED_ to die." Reno rubbed his face. "In four hours ya gonna be up and in front of a camera and Goddamn you, you better not open your motherfuckin mouth. You can't eat or drink so you'll have your goddamn IV. Rufus said they can work around it. I don't like it but that's how Rufus is yo… it’s called damage control.”

Reno paused to look at the miserable face looking back at him with dead eyes, and snapped “Go ta sleep." With that he plopped into the single chair in the room and propped his feet on Riku's bed. Riku stared at him until he fell asleep and dreamed about the ocean.

  


True to his word, 3 hours later Riku was being dressed and hustled out to a car, nurse in tow. She was dressed in civvies to be less conspicuous. Reno was still grumpy but seeing Riku vertical had softened his disposition somewhat. They arrived at the location of the shoot and Riku had fallen asleep again. "Wake up, beautiful." Reno said quietly. "Time to go to work."

Riku was disoriented but managed to stand on his own. Inside he was shuffled to wardrobe while Reno informed everyone that he wouldn't be able to speak so all communication from him would be written. "He damaged his vocal chords at a concert over the weekend, yo."

Riku smirked and Reno could see in his eyes that he was issuing a silent challenge. He walked over to where Riku was being dressed and shooed away the wardrobe wenches, then whispered, "If you pull that shit again, I will see to it personally that you are too disfigured to keep your day job yo."

Riku smirked again and kissed Reno right on the mouth. Reno stared for a moment then hissed, "Stop that."

Riku started to laugh but grabbed his throat and scowled.

Reno chuckled, "Wow...when I think of all the things I could do to ya and ya couldn't even cry for help yo..." Reno patted Riku's ass and walked away saying, "Get to work, sweetheart."

  


Riku looked beautiful after make-up covered the bruises from needles. He lay on a bed in underwear and was arranged in a position that made Reno walk away whispering to himself. He heard Leon tell Riku to _take them off,_ and he lit a cigarette and held his rosary because he couldn't _not look_. Riku lay on his stomach while Leon pulled the sheet over one of his legs. The shot was wide showing the entire set of white bed linens and curtains. It was disturbingly like the bedroom of the suite that Riku had been in when Reno found him.

Fans were turned on to blow the long sheers and Reno saw Riku's face go blank like a mask. He absently traced a finger across the sheet as he lay with dead eyes.

A makeup lady walked over to dust powder over a few shiny spots on his back and ass. Reno wanted to take Riku out of there and hide him away from all the prying eyes of those who only wanted what he had; the people who would exploit his beauty and use him up, leaving an empty shell. People like Rufus. Reno wondered what it would take to get Riku away from Rufus...then he realized...He was there again. He was back in the same place he had been with Demyx just a few years ago…

Riku was different though. Riku was dangerous. Reno wasn’t sure Riku _wanted_ to be saved so he decided that for now, he would just do his job and protect him instead of risking everything to play hero. If that meant protecting him from Rufus, then so be it. He was a goddamn Turk.

Leon instructed Riku to roll onto his back and put his arms above his head and one under his pillow. As he rolled, he tugged the sheet across himself. Leon walked over and slapped his hand lightly and said, "That's not your job dear, and you don't have anything we haven't seen before." Then he rearranged the sheet and the duvet the way he wanted it. Riku shook a little and scowled at Leon.

"Don't you sass me." Leon said with a smile.

Riku smiled but his eyes still reflected only misery. Leon continued taking photos and Reno watched, thinking that their model needed to be back in the safety of the hospital and not lolling about of designer bed linens.

Riku raised a knee making the cover slide down but he was covered by his own leg and Reno was so busy looking at the surreal scene before him and stressing, it was minutes before he noticed Riku staring at him. When their eyes met, something changed in Riku's expression. _Heat_. Leon caught it and squawked, "Finally he comes alive!"

Riku was shameless from that point. Reno just watched from the sidelines, feeling like a voyeur. Riku followed direction but his eyes kept going back to Reno's and when Leon called for a break, Reno went straight to the bed with a robe for. "That was pretty hot, yo."

Riku batted the robe away and scowled.

"What did you do that for, princess? Ya gotta cover up with somethin." Reno cooed as Riku dropped his head and then snapped up scanning the area. He pointed to the bathroom.

"Ok. Come on, put the robe on and I'll walk ya over there." To Reno’s surprise, Riku cooperated, but when they reached the door, he tugged Reno's arm wanting him to come inside with him.

"Do you really want me to watch you piss yo?"

Riku just tugged and pouted. "Faaaack. What's the rule about that shit?!"

Riku smirked and Reno followed him. Inside the bathroom, Riku leaned against the counter. Reno looked at him expectantly. "Don’t ya hafta pee pee?"

Riku shook his head and touched his nose with a finger.

“Nope.” Reno shook his head solemnly.

Riku untied his robe and slipped it off his shoulders. Reno grabbed it when it reached his elbows and said, "Nope."

Riku grinned and wrapped a hand around Reno's wrist and pulled him close. Reno whispered, "I can't do this with you yo."

Riku kissed him gently and chastely and smiled. He dropped his head to Riku's shoulder. He knew what this was. _Riku has all these drugs fuckin up his head. He hates himself and is just making bad choices because he feels he’s already a piece of shit. He’s given up on being a decent fuckin human_ Reno thought.

He could feel Riku's breath puffing in his hair and he was trying not to feel Riku's body against him. "Fuck fuck fuck." he whispered.

Riku slid his hand down Reno's arm and pulled his hand to rest on his bare hip. Reno stepped away. "I'm not gonna do this yo."

Riku saw the tears welling in Reno's eyes and Reno saw the empty dead eyes looking back at him. All he could see was Axel. Riku thought he saw a tear slide down his cheek as he walked out, leaving him to take care of himself.

 

Outside the bathroom, Reno lit a cigarette and headed to find Leon. It didn't take long. He was preparing for the rest of the shoot. There were a couple chairs and different backgrounds. "Can we talk a minute yo?"

"Sure Reno, what's up?"

"I wanna get him outta here ASAP. How much longer is this gonna take?" he asked as he smoked and Leon could sense his unease.

"Not long, as long as he stays motivated. Do I understand correctly that he is straight from the hospital?"

"Yeah, unofficially. Officially he has a sore throat yo." Reno smirked, knowing that Leon would understand.

"How bad?" Leon had seen many young beautiful people lose everything to drugs.

"It was bad long before he started this yo. I think this one may burn out fast. He has no anchor Leon. His lil boyfriend didn't even go after him when he ran off. His mom lives in Twilight and is pretty much dependent on him. He has nobody."

When the words left Reno's mouth he thought of Axel and a filthy bathroom long ago. He shook it off. _Focus Red_ , he told himself. Leon looked devastated. "He's such a tragic mess. Let's get this done."

Reno went back to check on Riku in the bathroom. He was sitting in the corner staring. He went in and bent to help him up. "Time for work again, princess."

He picked him up by the arms and helped him walk back to wardrobe. They dressed him and put glasses on him and sat him on the designer furniture that people with too much money bought to look at, not to use. He looked like a broken doll. Leon looked at Reno and shook his head sadly.

Reno made a decision at that moment that he knew he would regret. He asked for a short break to speak with Riku.

 

He dragged him swiftly to the bathroom where he propped him against the counter like he had been earlier. Reno reached into his pocket to fish out a vial of blow and Riku smirked, looking like the recently damned. Reno snorted a line and then tapped out a tiny bit on the back of his hand. Riku looked at it and then at Reno.

"Here, like this..." He started to stick his finger into his own mouth to wet it but Riku grabbed his hand and deftly sucked Reno's finger into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it, still smirking. "You are the fuckin devil, yo." Reno laughed. "I'm tryna help you out and you're tryna compromise my integrity… and my morals and shit."

Riku grinned and bit Reno's finger. He swiped his digit through the coke and looked up to see Riku with his mouth open and his tongue out slightly, waiting. Reno cursed his ancestors as he stuck his finger in and rubbed the drug on Riku's gums. Drool ran down his finger and hand and he watched as Riku closed his eyes. "Fuck my liiiife." He groaned.

Riku's hand shot up to grab his bicep and used his other hand to push his finger in deeper and Reno snatched his hand away. "Nope."

Riku looked at him mischievously and pouted.

"Want more?" he asked, trying to be a good babysitter and Riku nodded slightly.

Reno decided he could have a tiny bit more but he held it out, wanting Riku to do it himself. Riku did. He shoved his finger into Reno's mouth, surprising him.

The Turk chuckled and licked his finger. When Riku removed it to swipe it through the drug, Reno said, "I see how it's gonna be yo. You're a discipline problem. You have problems with authority yo. You're a little shit."

Riku grinned with a sparkle in his eye. They emerged from the bathroom to finish the shoot. A video segment was edited for the evening news to show Riku healthy, happy, and working in order to squash any rumors that might arise about a falling out with a lover, or a tragic overdose at a beach party. ShinRa was nothing if it wasn’t efficient at manipulating the press.

Reno got his mental shit together and pacified the still semi-stoned Riku long enough to get his job done and get him back into medical care… then he took an evening to drink himself into a stupor and vowed not to let himself be led on by the junkie Romeo.


	45. MERRY CHRISTMAS RIKU

MERRY CHRISTMAS RIKU

  


Sora and Olette went ahead to Costa for Christmas early. They couldn't wait to give Cloud the news and Sora was worried about Roxas. Upon arriving, they were surprised to find Xion there. Cloud explained that he had asked her to move in and she said yes.

"Wow," Sora laughed "Do I have to call you Mom now?"

Xion laughed as she held Cloud's hand. "Absolutely!"

"Oh, Ven called and said he's bringing Demyx." Cloud informed them as he munched on some finger foods that Xion had made for everyone.

"Are you sure it's ok that we're early Dad?" Roxas asked, checking his phone again for a text from or about Riku. “I don’t wanna intrude on your _honeymoon_ time.”

"Are you kidding me?" Cloud asked "I think it’s great!" He hugged his sons and said, "I can't wait til Ven and Vani get here."

Xion watched him with his boys and felt a hollow in her heart. She would never have that. She had known since puberty that she would never have children and had resigned herself to that truth. Every once in a while though, something happened that made her ache to have a child of her own.

  


That night at dinner Sora broke the news about their baby. Cloud stared for bit and then cried. He congratulated his son and Olette. Xion was happy for them but that pain was there. Maybe being a part of this family would help her. She had been taken from her parents when she was 10 and spent the rest of her childhood in foster care like Demyx. There was a loneliness that couldn't be erased and horrible things that she would never forget, but that was part of what made her who she was, so that was ok.

Ventus arrived with Demyx who was on the phone with his doctor. Apparently he had left some of his meds back at home. They shared that they were moving in together. Everyone was happy for the two and Olette suggested that she and Xion should give them a housewarming party.

"That sounds great!" Xion said. "But you'll have to give me some notice. I'm transferring to Costa and I won't be around." They all stared as the reality of it set in.

Roxas' phone rang jarring everyone from their thoughts. "Hello...Riku....no I ...I guess.”

The silence in the room was deafening as they waited to hear what was going on with the two. "Yes, I understand ...no it won't be...ok. Thanks Reno. Merry Christmas."

He looked around the room at his family and friends. "Riku is sick and is going to stay at his mom's. He isn't able to speak right now so Reno called for him. He said Riku is withdrawing from school and won't be back after break. He gave me Riku's new number...Said he lost his phone.”

He could see the pity on everyone’s faces and didn’t want to be there anymore. He stood and turned away from them. “So look I'm tired and I'm going on to bed. I love you guys." By the time he was done talking he was halfway upstairs and as soon as he got inside his room, he text Riku.

Roxas: what the fuck Riku?

Riku: sorry Rox

Roxas: idek what u r apologizing for!

Riku: for the last night I saw u

Roxas: well how'd that work out for u?

Riku: pretty badly- but it’s not like u cared enough to try- u kno what, never mind

Roxas: where did u go that night neway?

Riku: doesn't matter now

Roxas: why r u doin this?

Riku: u deserve better- find some1 else.

Roxas: what?!

Riku: don't make this hard- just get on with ur life bb

Roxas: ur a fucking asshole.

Riku: def

Roxas: fuck u Riku

Riku: love u too

Cloud walked in just in time to see Roxas’ phone sail past the door and shatter against the wall. "Rox..." He went to his son and held him. Roxas just felt numb. He couldn't cry; he just didn't feel anything.

"How can you be pissed at someone and still love them?" Roxas asked.

"One thing really doesn't have to do with the other." Cloud said quietly. "Do you wanna tell me what he said?"

"He dumped me via text message and no I'd really rather not talk about it."

"Ok, ok" Cloud petted Roxas and then tried to get him to come down for dessert without success. Roxas stripped to his boxers and crawled into bed, intending to stay there until New Years.

  


Reno took Riku back to ShinRa and delivered him back to his bed. He went to sleep as soon as the nurse sank the needle into his IV line. As soon as he was adequately obliterated and resigned to keep his emotional distance. Reno returned and told the nurse he wanted to sit for a bit, so she nodded and dimmed the lights on her way out.

After some quiet contemplating he pulled his rosary from his shirt and held it. Quietly he spoke to the empty room, "Nana, you told me once that I could talk to you about anything, any time." He looked at Riku; perfectly still and sleeping. "Help me, Nana. He's a good boy. Like me, he's done some bad things yo but nothin so bad that he don't deserve to be loved. Help me save him Nana. I wish you was here yo. You always knew what ta say." He leaned back in the chair and thought about leaving but every time he would start to get up, he found a reason to stay a little longer.

Morning came and Axel found Vanitas up and packing. "Where ya goin?"

"Dad text me this mornin and asked could I come a couple days early. Apparently there's drama and I'm the only one who hasn't shown up." Vanitas said as he chunked his things into the bag.

Axel got up and wrapped his arms around him. "Ya need me to come?"

Vanitas laughed and kissed him. "That's a loaded question, Red."

Axel laughed with him. "Lil bit" then kissed him back.

Vanitas turned so he could face him. "Thanks baby but I need to be there for my brothers and you need to be here for yours. We'll be together for New Years, I promise."

Axel groped him and whined, "But that's a long time."

"One week after Christmas." Vanitas kissed him again.

"Ok. Text or call and lemme know you get there ok." Axel said as he was taking Vanitas' shirt off.

"I will." Vanitas whispered, "Goddammit Axel." Axel laughed devilishly and dragged him to his bed.

  


Reno walked into the apartment and knew what was going on as soon as he dropped his keys onto the table. He needed his brother. He needed to feel something besides tired, worried, and hopeless. He tossed his jacket on the sofa, followed by his shirt and tie. Boots by the door, he strolled into Axel's bedroom and stood by the bed. Axel cut his eyes at him and started grinning. "Bad day at the office?"

"Understatement of the century yo."

Vanitas was scratching at the sheets trying to reach Reno but Axel slapped his ass and he stopped. He lay with his head on the sheets and his ass in the air, dragon tattoos seemingly alive as his eyes glinted yellow. Reno reached down and petted his hair and he snapped at his fingers. "Amazing" he chuckled.

Axel held Vanitas’ hips and bent over his back, and whispered as he ground into him. Vanitas groaned and growled and Axel rose back up to see Reno taking off his pants.

Vanitas reached for him again but this time he did it calmly and Reno took his hand as Axel reached around his chest and jerked him upright. Reno got onto the bed on his knees in front of Vanitas and looked into his eyes, then at his brother, then back at Vanitas. "This will only hurt a little bit yo."

As Vanitas was pressed between the two redheads he cried out and lost control over and over. They were perfectly in sync, anticipating each other's movements. He couldn't breathe and then he couldn't stop panting. For an instant he saw them kiss each other over his shoulder. Reno looked sad and Axel had tears on his cheeks. Reno held their erections together as Axel thrust into him from behind. Vanitas moaned and squirmed in sensory overload.

There was no pain but the sensations of having both of them was more than he could process. There were hands on his hips and on his chest. They were stroking him and kissing him everywhere- he was completely at their mercy. Time seemed to stop and everything was red. Vanitas and Reno came together, all over their stomachs and as they did Axel growled and finished inside him. Vanitas panted, Reno prayed, and Axel cried. The music in the room played quietly as Vanitas wondered at having become a part of the entity. He knew he would never be the same.

  


Riku looked out over Midgar. He was leaving for his mom's to have Christmas with her, but he felt empty. He was free of the IV and able to eat soft foods, he could talk but didn't have much to say. The doctors had given him something that they said had worked for his father- Apparently they were a lot alike. As he waited for the car, someone joined him. He didn't even have to look up; he could feel who it was. "Hello Grandfather."

Vincent stood still as a stone. "Hello Riku. How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

"You don't seem fine."

"I'm fine. Going to Mom's."

"Good. She loves you, you know. It would be a shame if she lost you so soon after finding you." Vincent said as Riku smirked. "So that's your plan, guilt me into living?"

"No. Whether you live or not is your choice. I am simply stating a fact." Vincent countered.

"I'm tired." Riku mumbled.

"Of what?"

"Living..." Riku said as the car arrived. He got in and waved to Vincent as it drove away toward the airport. Vincent called Reno.

  


Vanitas arrived at home still pondering his morning with the two redheads. He walked in to a full house and Cloud hugged him tightly and whispered, "Thanks for comin early. Go see Rox. I can't do a damn thing with him."

"Okay Dad." Vanitas kissed his cheek and went upstairs.

"Roxas! I'm here." He walked into Roxas room to find him in bed. He sat down and smacked the covers. "Off and on Rox."

"Don’t wanna." Roxas mumbled.

"Don't care. I wanna surf with you."

"Don't waaannnnnaa" Roxas whined.

Vanitas pulled the covers down and dragged Roxas up onto his lap. "Spill it."

"Riku dumped me." Roxas said quietly.

"I'm sorry Rox. He's got a lot goin on. And it prolly fucked him up goin to Hayner's yanno. Prolly a bad idea."

Roxas grunted and started pulling the covers over them both. Vanitas helped him cover them completely so that they looked like a giant lump on the bed. Only then did Roxas look him in the eyes. "I'm a bad person." He whispered.

"Never." Vanitas whispered back touching his cheek.

"He's too beautiful." Roxas whispered.

"YOU'RE too beautiful." Vanitas countered as Roxas stroked his face, tears spilling down his cheeks.

"I don't deserve him." He hissed.

"You deserve everything you want." Vanitas kissed his lips lightly then hugged him.

"Xion is living with Dad, now." Roxas whispered against Vanitas' hair.

"That's good for dad."

"Sora and Olette are havin a baby.”

“And that’s good too.”

“I don't have anyone." Roxas Hissed out as he sobbed quietly.

"You have all of us, Rox." Vanitas rubbed his back and let him cry.

  


Downstairs Sora and Olette were talking baby names with Xion and Cloud. "How about a family name?" Olette offered.

"If you name that kid Cloud, I will never forgive you... neither will he." Cloud laughed. "Do you know how many times I had my ass kicked because of my name?"

Sora laughed, "I can't believe anybody ever kicked your ass."

"I had my ass kicked plenty." Cloud chuckled.

They heard noise from upstairs and then laughter and squealing. They all looked so relieved that Cloud fixed everyone a drink. Vanitas and Roxas bounded down the stairs in their wetsuits and hit the door. Harmony was returning to the strife house.

  


Riku took Aerith shopping and they bought gifts for everyone and sent them next day post. They had dinner out and there were photographers abound. Aerith had been saving all the news clippings about him and Rufus made sure she got a copy of every magazine he was in. They had a peaceful holiday and Riku was feeling better physically. He felt more at peace since he had made up his mind- he would be with his daughter before next Christmas.

After Aerith had fallen asleep, he decided to open the package that Rufus gave him before he left TU. He trekked up to the formerly empty top floor of Aerith's home. There were boxes of his things scattered around and he easily spotted the box that contained Sephiroth's things. He opened it and sat down on the floor. There were pictures of him with various people, a few of him in civvies with two other first class SOLDIERS: one a dark haired beast of a man and one a feminine looking ginger.

Sephiroth looked so young when he smiled. No wonder they told him not to do it around his men. In one photo he appeared to be talking to an infantryman. Upon closer inspection he saw that it was Cloud. He smiled and touched the image of his father. There was one photo in a frame of Sephiroth alone on the battlefield. He was standing with Masamune unsheathed and had blood on his coat and in his hair. The date was engraved on the frame. Riku stared at the picture of his father the General at 20 years old. His heart ached for the hell that his life must have been.

He found a folder labelled Investigative Sector of General Affairs Department. He opened it to find surveillance photos. Sephiroth and Cloud, Sephiroth and Aerith, Sephiroth crying in an office, lying in a lab setting naked, driving with Cloud, hugging Aerith.

There were more intimate photos that he could've gone without seeing: Sephiroth and Cloud kissing in various stages of undress. Apparently, the photos had been separate occasions because the clothing was different on each one. There were pictures of Sephiroth and Aerith embracing in what looked like an old church, and the one that stopped him from breathing- Sephiroth with his head on Aerith's belly, smiling like a fool. She had her hand in his hair.

"That was me..." Riku said softly to himself. He laid aside all the pics with Aerith so that he could give them to her later and then reclined against a box to read Sephiroth's notes. Getting sleepy, he gathered up the photos for his mom and the envelope from Rufus and went downstairs.

Sitting on the sofa in the dark room, he opened the envelope by lamplight. Inside was a flash drive along with more photos. The photos were similar to the ones he found in the large box but there were some of Sephiroth shopping for baby things. Riku snorted. In the bottom of the envelope was a silver bracelet. He dumped it into his hand- It was so tiny. It had a small engraved oval that read Riku. He held the tiny bracelet and then went to the computer to see what was on the flash drive. It was an interview of some kind maybe... _in a lab? Maybe it was surveillance footage._

Sephiroth was shirtless and covered in electrodes. He sat on the side of a gurney much like the one Riku woke up on. When he spoke to someone off camera, Riku's heart stopped. That voice. He paused the video to catch his breath. That _was_ the voice.

"I know, I'm very excited. Yes, it’ll be a boy!”

Ha ha ha! Cause I just know.

If he looks like her?

No because she's beautiful.

If he's like me, meaning...

Oh of course there's that! Ha ha ha ha!”

Riku loved his laugh. It was deep and musical and he sounded genuinely happy. He couldn't understand the other person talking but he could guess some of the things that were probably said.

“No. I don't. Absolutely not.

My son will NOT be a soldier.

He'll be amazing at whatever he does ...

A doctor maybe...not a nut job hack like his grandfather.”

Riku laughed out loud at that. He remembered that Sephiroth believed a scientist named Hojo to be his father.

“Yes of course but ... Yes I've asked her and she said yes.

Because I'm Sephiroth you dick!

(Loud laughter)

Yeah Fat ass doesn't wanna announce an engagement. Have I mentioned today how much I hate that fat bastard?

Say Vince, can I ask you a serious question? What goes on in my head, yanno, when I lose it like in the VR room. Do you think that's me or the treatments?

(Sephiroth nodded)

Me too yanno. If I was gonna snap on someone it would be that fat fucker upstairs or Hojo.

Yeah. So we hanging out later?

Drunk! Have you ever seen me drunk?

I don't remember- if I don't remember it doesn't count.

Oh that's cool. Can I bring Cloud?

(Laughter)

Oh god don't! And don't tell him I called him a twink.

(Loud laughter)

He makes me happy.

What about her?

She does.

I can have who I want

That's right!

(more laughter)

You're still a dick.”

Someone came in at that point and took the electrodes off. He thanked them and started putting a shirt on.

“I donno for sure. I like Riku.

No because he's a BOY!

(More laughter)

She can pick a name for a girl but it's not happenning

Ok I'll see you later Vince.”

The video stopped. Riku thought for a moment then he watched it again. He thought of all the lies he had been told since he was born. He was bitter. He wished for a childhood that he could never get back. He wished for a peace that he would never have unless he got it for himself.

He picked up his phone and text Rufus.

Riku: thank you

Rufus: do you ever sleep little one?

(Riku checked the clock)

Riku: yes

Rufus: I'm up now, why are you thanking me?

Riku: the Christmas gift

Rufus: oh yes. Couldn't wait til morning?

Riku: no- Imma kid

Rufus: last photo shoot says otherwise

Riku: well...like my dad I guess

Rufus: LOL more than you know

Riku: Merry Christmas Rufus

Rufus: Merry Christmas Riku.


	46. RED XMAS

RED XMAS

  


Axel and Reno sat on the floor opening gag gifts that they got for one another and when they reached the last 2 gifts they knew those would be the real gifts. Reno got Axel a new computer and Axel gave Reno a new gun. After cleaning up their mess, they headed out to make their rounds in the slums of Midgar.

“Baba!” The two entered the shop where the old woman sat at her counter dozing. “Merry Christmas, Baba.” They hugged her and she laughed.

“You boys are not home enough. Where is your dragon?”

Word travelled fast in the slums. “He went to the ocean, Baba.” Axel said.

“He’s a good boy?” She asked them both.

“Yes he is. He heals my heart.” Axel smiled and Reno wandered off to look at the store to make sure nothing was in need of repair.

“Ya need the heat fixed yo. It’s chilly in here.” he said as he returned to the counter. “I’ll have somebody come out.”

“We have a few more stops to make, so we’re gonna get outta here.” Axel said. “Merry Christmas, Baba.”

 

He gave her an envelope and they left to visit more old friends, and enemies. Their stop at a brothel to drop off money for the girls led them to information on a man who had been molesting children. He was their next stop. Reno kicked the door open and Axel walked inside. The man was sitting alone in his living room. When he saw Axel, he screamed and Axel grinned. “Merry Christmas!”

The bullet entered his forehead, leaving a thumb sized hole and exited the back of his skull leaving a bowl sized crater and his brains were all over the filthy chair he sat in. Axel spun around laughing and skipped out of the room like a kid at play. Reno tucked his new gun back into his waistband, lit a cigarette, and followed his skipping brother.

More stops to give gifts led to more information about the shit of the slums. One man who had raped the daughter of a friend of theirs had been hiding in plain sight with a group of homeless people. The brothers walked through the alley where he was last seen and looked around for an unfamiliar face and one boy was staring at them as if they were super heroes. Reno looked at him and said, “This ain’t a good life yo. Look up to your dad. He’s a good man. I’m not.”

He gave the kid some money and he scurried back into his shoddy tent where his little brother played. Axel spoke up over his shoulder. “I got a live one.”

When he spoke, a man crawled out and was trying to run but Axel grabbed him with one lanky arm. “We just want to give you somethin for Christmas.”

He dragged him away from the children and Reno gave him his gift. The twins put him inside a dumpster that wasn’t anyone’s home so that he would get picked up before he started to smell up the place. Axel gave candy to all the kids and Reno doled out the cash.

Watching his insane brother skip down the alley with blood spatter on his arms from where he held the last man they killed, he wondered if he could have done better by Runt. He had always been the sane one after all. Axel spun around like he had since they were 11 when they first began the tradition and said, “One more?”

Reno caught up to him and sighed. “No Runt. We’re done yo.”

Axel looked at him solemnly. “K”

Reno growled and gave him his meds back. “You need these whether ya like it or not yo. You may not see it but I promise the rest of us do.”

Axel grinned like the fiend he was and stuffed the pills into his mouth.

 

That night Reno dreamed of their childhood. Axel was always getting into trouble because he was a nutter and Da blamed Reno for not keeping him out of it. In his dream he was getting a beating and his dad looked at him and said, “One day boy you’ll see.”

Reno woke trying to remember what it was his dad had been talking about that day. He couldn’t. It was all a million lifetimes ago. He looked down at Axel curled against his chest sleeping. He had his meds now and he was ok. Da was dead. He hugged him tighter, making him squirm in his sleep. _Back to work tomorrow_ , he thought as he dozed.

  
  


Riku gave her the photos and went through all her books to make sure she didn't need anything, then called his accountant to transfer a large amount into her account. He had boxed up the other things and labeled them. When he felt everything was in order, Riku hugged his mother and kissed her goodbye. Taking a bus to the airport, he bought one-way ticket to Destiny Island.

He sat to wait for his flight and stared at the small bracelet. His phone buzzed. Checking it he dropped his head back and contemplated not answering.

Reno: where r u?

Riku: did u have a good Xmas?

Reno: the usual. Where are u?

Riku: I did 2- thanks

Reno: don't make me...

Riku: ? Ur a Turk. Figure it out

Reno: challenge accepted

 

Riku decided it was time to walk around the airport. Reno knew he would be at Aerith's for Christmas and it wouldn’t be long before the redhead showed up. He was cruising along on one of the mobile walkways on the second floor when he saw Reno come in. He stepped off and headed down the escalator. He passed Reno who was going up, and grinned. Reno looked like he wanted to throttle him.

A couple seconds later he felt a hand grip his bicep. He grinned again, hating that he missed seeing Reno hurdle the handrail of the escalator to apprehend him. "Where ya headed SephiKu?"

"Back to Destiny...I left something there." Riku said.

"You're not goin back there yo. That place is bad for you. You're comin with me."

"Where?" Riku was surprised that Reno was going to actually make him hang around just to keep an eye on him. He could wait him out though.

"Well first we're goin ta eat cause I'm hungry."

Riku sighed. "Ok, but I can only eat soft things."

Reno grinned at him and sneered. "Guess that rules me out yo."

  


Axel looked around the empty apartment. He thought of Vanitas and wondered what he was doing. He looked at his meds on the table and reached for them but a black bunny jumped into his peripheral vision. Distracted, he wandered around looking for it until he fell asleep on the sofa.

Sometime after dark he woke to the sound of the doorknob rattling. He reached under the couch pulling out his black Beretta M9 that had ‘Nobody’ engraved in gold on the slide. Silently he ignored the black bunnies that were scurrying underneath the furniture, aimed at the door. It swung open and Reno called out, "It's just me yo." He walked into the dark apartment with Riku over his shoulder.

"What happened to him?" Axel asked putting his gun away and rubbing his eyes.

"He thought he could outsmart a Turk, yo. Tried to sneak off to Destiny but I drugged him til I decide what to do with him.”

Reno took Riku to his room and dropped him onto the bed. He started to leave the room but decided he would feel better if he was sure the brat would stay put. Cuffing him to the bed, he joined Axel for popcorn and a movie.

  


Sora and Olette were in the linen closet with door shut. He could hear people walking by, talking. No one was looking for them yet so he had a little longer. _Just a few more minutes_ he thought.

Olette whispered, "I don't understand."

Sora shushed her and hissed, "Just wait..."

He had already sniffed every sheet and blanket and was working on towels. There were lots of towels. Olette giggled at him and let him sniff away.

"Where did Sora go?" he heard.

"Haven't seen him in a while," Cloud said. Sora could tell his dad’s voice from his brothers but discerning which brother was which was really hard.

There was a knock at the door and Vanitas said, "Come out Sora and I'll keep your secret."

"Thanks Vani." Sora said as he and Olette exited the closet.

Vanitas grabbed Olette and said, "Are you a sniffer too?"

"No!" She squealed and laughed.

"Do you plan to become one?" He asked.

"No" she giggled.

Vanitas put his arm around her and grinned. "My sister!"

  


Outside on the beach, Roxas was chatting up some tourists. Tired of his moping, Ventus had encouraged him to get out and meet some people. He seemed to be faring pretty well. Winter break would be over soon and he would be back at school with the same crowd. Well, most of them anyway.

Demyx walked over and sat down with Ventus on the steps that led to the beach. "I-I-I-I fuckshitcocksuckingwhore!!" He dropped his head as Ventus giggled. "N-n-nneed m-m-my mmmeds."

"I know baby. We can get them this afternoon." Ventus comforted his boyfriend. "So I was thinking we could leave a little early and finish moving."

Demyx nodded.

"Let's go tell Dad then so we can get outta here...after we get your meds." They walked back up to the house leaving Roxas with his new friends.

  


He invited the girls inside for a drink. They were impressed with the house as he led them through and out onto the patio on the side opposite the beach. They sat while he went to make drinks. When he came back they were flipping through a magazine. "Here ya go." Roxas said as he sat.

"Thank you," they chorused. One of them said, "Roxas, we're having a party later at the hotel. We were wondering if you and your brothers would like to come." They all smiled at him in unison.

"One of my brothers has a pregnant girlfriend, so I doubt he'll show. Another one is leaving soon because he's moving in with his boyfriend. But I'll ask my brother, Vanitas."

"Please tell me he's the one you were surfing with yesterday who has all the tattoos." One girl cooed.

"He is." Roxas grinned. "I'm sure he'll come. He loves to party."

The third girl had been quietly looking through the magazine. She looked up and stared at Roxas and then back at the magazine. "Is this you?"

Turning the magazine so he could see, she showed him a photo of Riku and him walking to the caf at school. "You said you go to TU right?" She asked almost apologetically. He stared at the photo and mumbled "Yeah, that's me." Then it started.

"Are you friends with Riku?"

"Is he coming here?"

"Do you guys hang out?"

Roxas schooled his expression so they wouldn't see how devastated he was at the subject. "He's really busy with modeling right now and um...I think he is withdrawing from TU for a while because he’s so busy with his career."

The girls seemed satisfied with his answer and continued to sip their drinks and chat about the beach and Roxas' beautiful home. His stomach was searing holes into itself and he could picture all his insides in flames. The girl who had asked about Riku initially, looked up from the magazine and asked, "Do you know Vaan too?"

Roxas looked confused. "I don't know Vaan, sorry."

"Oh, it's no big. I heard he was gay anyhow." The girl said to Roxas' dismay.

  


Once they were gone, he grabbed the magazine and flipped through it until he found Riku. There he was in an ad for jeans, holding hands with a cute little twink. Roxas didn't know he could get so pissed off from looking at a photo in a magazine. He dug his phone out of his pocket.

Roxas: is that why you dumped me? I saw the shot of you and Vaan. Is that why? Did you cheat on me with him?

  


Reno watched Riku’s phone vibrate and slide around on the table. He looked at Axel then back at the phone. Axel didn't seem to notice so Reno picked it up and read the text. _Hmmm_ he thought. _How to handle this…_

Riku: no I didn't cheat

Roxas: well why the fuck did you dump me?

_Wow_ Reno thought _\- he dumped Strife? I gotta try to do some damage control_

Riku: I'm sorry.

Roxas: for what? For telling me to fuck off via text message? Or for being a dick the night of the bonfire?

Reno was a little pissed at Roxas' attitude but then he didn't know what Riku had been through.

Riku: I got really fucked up that night. Goin to Destiny was a bad idea.

Roxas: are you better now? Are you still stoned? Were you even really sick?

Riku: I was sick...well I am sick. I'm not currently stoned but I can't really say that I'm better. 

Roxas: who is this?

Riku: it's me

Roxas: lies

Riku: I swear

Roxas: ok if this is Riku then what was the last thing you said to my face?

Reno knew he was fucked. The last time they talked face to face was at that ill-fated bonfire...what to do...

Riku: that night wasn't the last time- I'll see you again.

Roxas: when?

Reno's heart broke for Roxas. Why did he have to pick up the stupid phone in the first place? Because he was nosy.

Riku: soon ok?

Roxas: ok.

  


Riku woke cuffed to the bed and roared "RENO!!!!!!"

Reno and Axel looked at each other with wide eyes. Axel snickered. Reno giggled, then the both laughed their asses off.

Riku was irate. After the movie went off, Reno had confided in Axel about the cell phone ordeal and showed him the texts. Axel agreed that Roxas deserved better than a break up by text and Riku was being an asshole. Junkies are assholes.

They walked into the bedroom to find Riku trying to pull his hand through the cuffs. "Stop that." Reno snapped.

Riku looked up at the two. "What the fuck did you drug me for, you asshole?!"

"You were tryin to flee from my care yo." Reno explained and Axel added, "You're in no condition to be alone."

"All I did was bring you here with me so I could keep an eye on you." Reno reasoned, then Axel said, "You're in good company. I really don't see what the problem is."

"You have a shoot tomorrow yo." Reno informed and Axel nodded. "In Costa Del Sol."

"Right yo, and yer gonna surf." Reno chirped. "And you're gonna fix this." Axel said as he tossed Riku's phone at him.

Riku picked up the phone with his free hand and looked at his messages. His face grew pale as he read and the twins saw tears come to his eyes. When he looked up at them with his huge aqua eyes full of unshed tears, they turned away in opposite directions and mumbled, "Sorry..."

"How could you do this? He doesn't deserve to be strung along. He needs to move on and find someone who deserves him.” They looked back to see Riku with his free arm across his face. "I was tryin to make it right. I was tryin to let him go, and be happy."

Reno freed him from the cuff and Axel sat on the bed beside him. He was afraid to touch him. _Reno said he was magic...or was that something residual from missing our meds for a couple days._ "Are you magic?" Axel whispered.

Riku looked at him. "What?"

Reno looked at them both. "No Runt, he's not magic. You can touch him yo. And Riku, he's been off his meds. It takes about 24 hours for him to regulate again once he’s taking them like he’s supposed to, and not skippin. Deal with it yo."

Axel smiled at Riku and then poked him in the eye.

"What the fuck, dude!" Riku grabbed his eye and glared at Reno with the other one.

Reno said gruffly, "Chill the fuck out yo. He didn't put your eye out. He just wanted to touch it."

Riku looked horrified. Axel was so close to his face, staring greedily at his eyes. Reno kissed Axel on the head and he looked up at him, then back at Riku. "Sorry" he grinned and moved out of Riku's personal space.

"It’s ok" Riku nodded as he patted Axel’s leg. Reno was shocked. He wasn't expecting that. _Maybe Riku wasn't being an asshole_. _Maybe he's in pain and freaked out because he didn't know what else to do._

Reno gently pulled Riku up off the bed and gestured to Axel who stood and immediately became entranced with Riku's hair. Reno wrapped his arms around him, putting one hand on the back of his head and one on his hip. Axel moved behind him and put a hand on his other hip and wrapped one around to Reno's hip. "Tell us why you don't wanna live anymore." Reno whispered into his ear.

"Let us help you" Axel said into his other ear.

"You're a walkin miracle…So beautiful"

Riku didn't struggle but inside he was dying. _What is this?_ _Warm and sweet and strong and_ _peaceful._ _Why do they say these things? I’m a bad person_. _I’ve always been a bad person._ _They don’t know me. I poison everything I touch_.

"Stop that" Reno said. "You have to let go of all that." Axel murmured as if they knew what he was thinking. He felt their hands on his back and chest... his arms and hips. They squeezed him between them and Axel kissed his neck and he began to tense up again. Reno sighed at the closeness as he remembered the bathroom encounter but then shut it out of his mind. This was about making Riku feel good.

Riku squirmed between them but let them hold him, and felt the tension drain away again. Reno chuckled whispered, "Feel better?"

He nodded and brushed his lips across Reno’s, making him smile. “Stop that.”

Axel had a hand on Riku's hip that quickly moved around to slide up under his shirt, then he began to kiss and suck at his neck, so Riku leaned his head to the side. He was digging his fingers into Reno's back and Axel's ass. Still pressed between them, he shivered and moaned and everything seemed to intensify at the sound.

Axel began pulling his shirt up and Reno grabbed the back of it and tugged it over his head. Axel growled and bit his shoulder then kissed the reddened skin and whispered, "Sorry". Reno kissed and nipped at his neck and trailed kisses down his chest as he dropped to his knees. Riku could feel him removing his boots as Axel slipped his arms around his chest and stomach to hold him still. When Reno stood back up, he wrapped him in his arms as Axel released him and kissed a trail down his back and his hands snaked around to unfasten his belt and jeans.

Riku tried to keep his breathing even and made a gentle moaning hum. Reno smiled. “Stop that.”

Riku smiled and pulled Reno's hips to his and the redhead said softly, "This isn't how this is supposed to work yo."

Axel was behind Riku on his knees, slowly tugging his jeans off, little butterfly kisses at the waistband of his underwear making him chuckle. Reno held him like a lover but refused to kiss his lips while Axel pulled down his underwear and left them bunched at his feet. Riku had been in between more than a few bodies. Group sex was not a novelty to him and he giggled again as light kisses and spikey hair tickled his thighs and ass.

Reaching for Reno’s belt, he was surprised when Reno grunted and pushed his hands away.

"Why?" Riku asked.

"Just no." Reno breathed as he ran his hands up Riku's arms to his face. He opened his mouth to speak but choked when Axel wrapped long wet fingers around his erection. Riku's eyes fluttered closed, words forgotten and Reno smiled and looked down at his twin. "Don’t forget about your dragon, Runt."

Axel looked up from his ass worship and made the dammit face, but then smiled and released Riku to Reno who reached down and picked Riku up by his ass. Grinning at the irony of how many times he had been in Reno’s position, Riku wrapped his legs around the tall redhead and let him carry him to the bed.

Lying on the bed, Riku gazed at him through half-lidded eyes, and said flatly, "If you think I'm bottoming for that…" he pointed at Reno's erection "you're as crazy as he is."

Riku leaned his head back on Axel, who had laid down behind him. They all got quiet and then burst out laughing. "Princess, have you ever bottomed for ANYONE?" Reno asked as he stripped and crawled into bed with them.

"No..." Riku laughed.

Axel grunted and caressed Riku's chest as he buried his face in his hair. He started whispering and Reno went still. "Runt, did you take your night meds?"

Axel hissed "Nooo, one more day one more day. There was a bunny…"

Riku thought for a moment and concluded that his pursuit of the ultimate end could come about without having to do it himself. He could just hide Axel’s meds and let it sort itself out.


	47. COSTA

COSTA

  


Roxas and Vanitas took Demyx and Ventus to the airport and dropped them before heading to the party at the Four Seasons. They walked into a suite full of drunken college kids… just like home. They mingled and did shots. One of the girls who had invited them, the one who fangirled over Vanitas, spotted them and headed their way. Roxas leaned over and said, “That’s the one. I bet she’ll blow you.”

Vanitas looked at the girl. “$20 says she wants a facial.”

Roxas hissed. “Her makeup is immaculate, you’re on.”

They bumped elbows and Roxas strolled away to figure out how to get drunker without puking. One of the girls from earlier, the one who had read the magazine approached him. She was already trashed and looking for someone to hold her up. Roxas obliged and they soon found a corner away from the general crowd. He was pushing her underwear down and she squeaked drunkenly, “Wait, I don’t wanna do it here. My first time should be special.” She giggled.

Roxas ran his hand between her legs and said, “First time, my ass. Turn around.”

She laughed and turned her back to him and he proceeded to fuck her right there in the corner of the packed room.

She turned back around adjusting her clothes and Roxas was lighting a cigarette. She smiled at him and excused herself clumsily to the bathroom. He did more shots and puked and did more shots. Vanitas found him again eventually and said grinning, “Pay me, bitch.”

Roxas looked at him through slitted eyes and slurred, “Yer a liiaar. I don blieve you. Where iz zhe?”

Vanitas laughed and put his arm around him and pointed to the girl. Her makeup was nearly gone and her hair was in a sloppy bun. She was doing shots with the girl Roxas had corner time with.

“Let’s go, you’re wasted.” Vanitas said and Roxas nodded. They took a cab home and staggered inside to find Xion and Cloud asleep in front of the TV. She was sitting on his lap and they were covered with a blanket.

“He’s happy.” Vanitas observed.

“Think they’ll get married?” Roxas asked his brother who was literally holding him up.

“Prolly. Come on, let’s go to bed.” Vanitas dragged him to the stairs.

“Can I sleep with you Vani?”

“Sure. Say Rox? What did you do while I was with that Lisa chick?”

“I fucked her friend.” Roxas mumbled.

“Which one?” Vanitas was curious to know because they were both pretty.

“Donno.” Roxas said matter-of-factly. Vanitas laughed out loud as they reached the top of the stairs and went into his room.

  
  


Riku woke up to Axel pulling his hair. “What’s wrong, Axel?” He whispered.

“That bunny said you’re goin away and I don’t want you to…Pretty hair…Pretty eyes.” Axel said as he weaved his fingers into Riku’s hair.

Riku rolled to face him and whispered, “I have to. I can’t stay here. I want to be with my little girl.” He reached up to play with Axel’s hair as Axel stared into his eyes.

“The yellow boy will be sad. I had a cat once and _it_ died. Sssshhhh…” Axel said suddenly changing the subject and starting to fidget.

“Are you scared? Want me to hold you?” Riku asked.

He nodded and Riku cuddled him close started to sing to him quietly, the way he used to sing to his daughter. Axel cried quietly as he fell asleep, mumbling about his cat.

  


When Riku woke again it was to Reno and Axel jumping on the bed on either side of him, jostling him around. He laughed before he could form a word and they laughed with him. Axel vaulted off the bed and landed on his feet. “Get up! We’re goin to tha beach!”

Reno jumped off the bed as well. “I packed our shit, your shit is scattered all over yo, so we can buy you more I guess. I’m not flyin back to Twilight Town so you can pack a bag.”

“Is Axel better this morning?” Riku asked concerned.

Reno looked at him and shook his head, thinking that losing him would be such a waste. He was a good person, but the most important person who needed to believe that, didn’t.

“He’s better yo. He told me you sang him a lullaby last night. That’s fuckin priceless, Riku. You gotta realize how devastated he would be, not to mention all the others who love you, if ya went away.” Reno rubbed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose while Axel was in the background putting silverware into their luggage. “He said to me this mornin that you were an angel, but you were broken. He said you only have one wing and you wanna die because ya think you can get the other one.”

Riku stood in silent contemplation before speaking. “Maybe he’s right.” He walked over to Axel who had a moment of lucidity and was wondering why he had been putting the silverware into the luggage.

  
  


Vanitas woke to the sound of Roxas moaning in the bathroom. “I’m gonna diiiieee.”

He laughed and went in to see about him. “Nah that would be too easy. Let’s get somethin for that hangover and hit the beach.”

They went downstairs to find Sora and Olette saying goodbye to Cloud and Xion. “You guys were just gonna bail on us?” Vanitas chirped.

“No way, we knew you had a late night and didn’t wanna bother you. We’re heading back to TU a little early.” Sora said.

“Ok well, we’re gonna hit the beach later and do some shoppin I think. Roxas here has a…”

At that moment Roxas bolted from the room and they heard him gagging. “Like I was sayin, Roxas has a hangover so we have to address that first.” They all laughed as Roxas moaned from the bathroom.

Soon they were out on the water sitting on their boards. Roxas told Vanitas about the text conversation he had with Riku. “What’s goin on with him I wonder?” Vanitas pondered.

“Who knows? I thought he was the one yanno. But then when it was over, I just…I donno. I wonder now if I’m really ok with it, or if I’m ok with it just because I’m not facin him. Does that make sense?”

“It makes perfect sense and I think you’ll figure it out real soon.” Vanitas said, pointing at the beach.

There stood Riku in jeans, a tank top, and sunglasses watching him as the surf washed up around his bare feet. Roxas couldn’t breathe as he stared back. His head snapped around to look at Vanitas who was waiting for a reaction. He looked into the blonde’s eyes and said, “Breathe Rox.”

Roxas looked back at the beach. He was still there, hands in his pockets now, waiting.

“Go on, Rox. Figure it out.” Vanitas said as he paddled away.

  


Roxas dropped his board on the sand and walked toward Riku, heart pounding. Watching him walk down the beach, Riku didn’t know how he could have walked away from Roxas that night.

Roxas stopped a few feet away and looked at his sunglasses, then dropped his eyes. Riku pulled his glasses off immediately and stepped closer, prompting him to look up. When their eyes met Roxas’ heart fell to his feet. He parted his lips to try and get some air into his lungs.

Riku licked his lips and opened his mouth, but no sound came out. His eyes filled with tears as he thought of how he left Roxas on the beach that night. All the memories of the last night they were together came flooding back as the tears spilled.

Roxas reached out to touch his face and Riku grabbed him and pulled him into a hug. “I’m so sorry Rox. So sorry.”

Hearing those words sent Roxas into turmoil. He was expecting the same Riku who left him on the beach in Destiny, not _his_ Riku. His Riku loved him and he thought he was gone forever. Roxas wrapped his hands into his hair as he whispered, “I love you, I love you.”

Riku hissed, “I love you too. I was stupid. I’m no good for you but I love you. I hate my fuckin self Rox. I want you to be happy and have a good life. I can’t give that to you cause I’m a fuck-up and a no good junkie.”

“No Riku, no. I love you and I’ll take care of you. I’ll never let you walk away like that again. I’ll always come after you Riku, I promise.” Roxas cried.

“Don’t do that baby. Don’t waste your life on me. I’m not worth it.” Riku said miserably.

“You’re what I want. Let me try to make you happy… just let me _try_.” Roxas begged.

Riku dropped his head in defeat, picked Roxas up, and started walking away from the beach. Roxas sniffled and giggled and let Riku lug him through the sand. “Where are you takin me?”

“To my temporary home to ravish you.” Riku wiped his eyes after he sat Roxas down on one of the benches, and then dug out the keys to his rented car.

  


Back on the beach Vanitas picked up Roxas’ things and his board and headed up to the house. Once inside he told Cloud that Riku had showed up and it looked like they were back together. Cloud looked worried and nodded.

“He left his phone and everything so I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.” Vanitas said.

“You know Vani, I think your life is the sanest of all right now.” Cloud said, making Vanitas feel proud. But then as he walked away and Vanitas stood looking at the beach through the glass front of their home, he noticed a familiar red head of hair. Axel was wandering around in shorts and a t-shirt, hair in pigtails, and carrying a small pail and shovel.

Having stayed with them for a few days, he had learned a little about Axel’s problem and their unusual life. “Holy balls, where the fuck is Reno?” He said as he giggled and ran out to rescue the vacationers from his Nobody.

  


Vanitas approached Axel cautiously. "Hey ya. What ya doin?"

Axel's face split in a grin. "Vani! I was hopin I'd see you here! Riku has a shoot and Reno made me come along. Something about getting my meds regulated. I donno what he means cause I feel fine. But I donno why I have this bucket..."

Vanitas laughed. "Come inside and say hi to Dad and Xion. We'll text Reno and let him know where you are."

"K!" Axel said as they started for the house.

"Is that your house? It's huge!" Axel gaped and when Vanitas nodded, Axel skipped away in the direction of the beach house. He watched amusedly until he saw the familiar shape of a certain black Beretta stuck in the waistband of his colorful shorts. _Oh shit_ , Vanitas thought and then called out, "Hey Axel, wait up!" He ran after him kicking up sand.

  


Riku pulled up the Four Seasons. Roxas bowed his head and prayed that nobody recognized him from the party the previous night. After hopping out and giving the valet the keys Riku grabbed his hand and tugged it as they walked through the lobby. He noticed that Roxas looked a little embarrassed so he released his hand… past protocol and whatnot.

Before they reached the elevator one of the girls who had been at his house ran over. "Hi Roxas! Where did you and Van...oh oh! Terra!!! Look!" She squealed.

Roxas looked at Riku and winced. Riku looked betrayed but just for a moment then his face went blank. In Roxas’ mind there were bombs going off destroying his dreams of reuniting with Riku. The three girls were standing there staring.

"Roxas aren't you going to introduce me to your friends?" Riku asked.

"Riku this is um...Terra and...Lisa and ... Oh shit I'm sorry I was so wasted last night..." Roxas said apologetically. The last girl looked offended and embarrassed.

Terra hissed, "You fucked her in front of the entire room and you can't even remember her name?!" she was quiet, but not quiet enough.

Riku felt his stomach rebel. He took a deep breath and reminded himself that he had dumped Roxas. "Nice to meet you all. Were you going out?"

"We were just going shopping." Lisa said.

"Why don't you come up with us?" Riku said, and glared at Roxas. They all giggled and accepted and followed them to the elevator. Once they reached the suite and went inside, Riku played the perfect host. He offered them drinks and answered their questions about his career while Roxas sat quietly and drank as much as he could without seeming like an alcoholic fresh out of jail.

The girl he had fucked the night before kept glancing over at him, so he leaned over and said, "I'm really sorry about last night. I was totally wasted."

She smiled politely and said, "I get it."

Roxas felt that the statement sounded very final. The girl named Terra was touching Riku's arm as they talked. Roxas didn't like it but had no grounds to object. Riku smiled and laughed as they chatted while Roxas drank. He had stopped watching them at some point and was staring at the windows, but then he heard his name.

"How long have you and Roxas been friends?"

Riku walked over and sat on the arm of the chair Roxas sat in and looked down at him. "I donno. How long Roxas? Have we been friends, I mean?" Riku stared at him waiting.

"A couple years." Roxas mumbled.

"Wow. Will you miss him when you go back to school next week?" A girl asked.

"Y-yes." He looked up at Riku.

One of the girls cooed at the look he gave his 'friend' then said, "Can I have a pic of you guys?"

They both thought of the bonfire night. "Sure" Riku agreed. Roxas was surprised but went along with it. "Come on Rox, whaddaya say?" Riku smiled, still reminding Roxas of a newscaster.

"Okay." He said. "Where?"

"How about on the sofa? The pic will look nice with all the flowers."

They sat on the sofa side by side and Riku put his arm around Roxas. Without thinking, Roxas lay his head on Riku's shoulder and the girls squealed and snapped pics. He looked up at Riku who was chuckling.

"I'm sorry." He looked like he had broken an antique vase or defiled something holy.

"Why are you sorry, Roxas?" Riku asked as he turned to face him while the girls watched and took more pics. "Isn't that what you asked me? Are you sorry for fuckin that girl last night or sorry I found out?"

The girls were silent as the grave but still taking pics and Roxas wanted to disappear and reappear in a time of plague so he could die the disgusting miserable death he deserved as Riku looked into his eyes, waiting for an answer. "I'm sorry for all of it, Riku."

Riku's eyes flashed with anger and he kissed Roxas hard on the lips. The girls continued to take pics with their mouths hanging open.

Roxas pulled away and said, "I didn't mean..."

"It's ok Rox, I get it." Riku said as he stood.


	48. YOU AND ME FOREVER

YOU AND ME FOREVER

  


As soon as the door closed after the girls left, he was in Roxas' face. "How miserable were you that you had to fuck that girl, Roxas?" He snarled as he yanked at Roxas' wetsuit.

Roxas just bit his lip and mumbled "You dumped me and I..."

"I know I did and it was a stupid mistake." He said as he unzipped the wetsuit with one violent yank. "I have no right to be mad at you because of that. But that doesn't mean I have to like it." He shoved Roxas down onto the sofa and pulled the wetsuit free of his body.

Roxas was panting. He was scared but he wanted Riku.

"Goddammit Rox, you make me crazy." Riku said as he scooped the naked blonde off the couch and carried him to the bedroom. Roxas was holding on and kissing his neck, biting and sucking the sensitive spot under his ear. He growled and threw him onto the huge bed and began to undress. Roxas started to crawl back to him but he shoved him back when he got to the edge and snapped. "No"

Roxas was confused and more than a little embarrassed.  

"Why are you making this so hard for me?" Riku growled as he crawled onto the bed, shoving the blonde down and pinning his hands over his head.

"I'm sorry." Roxas squeaked.

Riku leaned down and kissed him… and it was gentler than before. Roxas returned the kiss, relieved that he wasn’t going to receive a vicious grudge-fucking. Riku put his forehead against his and whined, "Why can't I just _not_ care about you. Why is it every time I think I have shit figured out, there you are to turn everything upside down?"

Roxas kissed him again softly and Riku looked into his eyes- and all Roxas could see was pain. "I have nothing… to offer you. I can’t make you happy. What do you want from me, Roxas?"

"Make love to me?" Roxas said, just like he had the night before they went to Destiny Island. Riku's tears dropped on Roxas' face and then he gave him his way.

  
  


Demyx's apartment was really nice. The first thing Ventus asked was the obvious. "You have this great apartment. Why did you live in the crappy dorm?"

"For a while I felt guilty because I... I donno. I didn't feel right about the way I came to own the apartment, but after I got over that it was more of a convenience thing."

"What do you mean? How did you come by the apartment?"

Demyx looked at him sadly. "It's a long story Ven. It started when I was just 16." He told the whole sordid mess, including how Reno helped him get away, and Ventus was amazed. "I knew he was a good guy but I had no idea..."

"Does that make you not wanna live here now?" Demyx asked as he opened another box.

"Dem, I would live with you anywhere. I _love_ you."

"I'm glad you feel that way, cause I been thinking a lot about us, yanno." He fidgeted with the packing tape on the box. "We've been through a lot and you know me better than anyone. I can easily say that you're the best thing that ever happened to me."

Ventus stared and opened his mouth to speak while Demyx rummaged through the box. Demyx held up his finger and said, "Wait, lemme say this ok. You are the one person who knows how fucked up I am and still wants to be with me all the time. You're my heart and soul, Ven... Will you...one day...marry me?"

Ventus gasped and flopped back on the couch, out cold. He didn't even see the ring Demyx pulled out of the box.

  


Axel walked around Cloud's house with Vanitas holding his hand. "This is really nice Vani. You grew up here?"

"Yeah. It was great. We all surfed and with the weather here it was almost an everyday thing yanno." Vanitas watched Axel's expression change and he could tell when Axel was looking at something that wasn't actually there. He watched his face as he tried to sort out the real from the imaginary. He was amazing and he had no clue.

Vanitas reached up and pulled one of his pigtails. "Hey, you wanna stay here with me while you're in town?"

Axel looked at him and said quietly, "That would be ok?"

Vanitas kissed him and stroked his cheek. "That would be more than ok."

Axel smiled, becoming more lucid. "Should we ask Dad?"

Vanitas laughed. "Yes, let's."

They strolled through the house holding hands sing-songing "Daaaadddyyy!"

Cloud heard them and looked up at Xion and said, "Hide me!"

She kissed his nose and shouted, "He's riiiight heeere!" Cloud slapped his hand to his forehead and she giggled.

  


Riku lay and watched the chill bumps on Roxas’ skin as he trailed his finger down his back while he dozed. He could live for Roxas. He had no desire at all to live for himself, but if it would make Roxas happy…he would try. He thought about all the bad things he had done. He was a terrible person and now… maybe if he just disappeared… but Roxas.

Riku sighed and bit his lip. _Wonder how long it will take him to get sick of it all, sick of me_ he thought. _I can wait him out and then I’ll be free_. _Oh god how I fucking hate this grinding in my guts…I just need…_

He looked around the room knowing there wouldn’t be any drugs around but _something… anything_. He slipped out of bed and went through the rooms naked. He would know when he found it. He went through the liquor cabinet and drank a sip or two but decided that would be a bad idea before going out into the sun for the shoot.

In the bathroom he found it. A disposable razor supplied by the hotel. He broke it and took out the thin blade. Looking over his naked body in the mirror he tried to decide where he could do it so that nobody would see. He thought of when he used to shoot between his toes… his heart sped up at the thought. Adrenaline shot through him as he sat on the side of the huge garden tub and propped his foot up. There was no hesitation as he pressed the blade between his first two toes and dragged it down. As the blood ran down his foot and dripped into the bathtub it seemed to take the tension with it. He breathed a long sigh and moved to the next toe.

  


Soon enough he felt better and cleaned his mess. He was careful not to walk on the rug- it was much easier to get blood off tile. He grabbed the liquid bandage from the first aid kit and sealed the cuts closed, then got dressed.

Roxas woke to a sweet smell and a soft touch. As he opened his eyes he saw Riku lying across the bed by him holding a rose from one of the arrangements in the room. He smiled and trailed the flower across Roxas’ lips and then touched it to his nose. “I have to go to work now,” Riku said and started to get up. Roxas grabbed him and dragged him back down onto the bed and Riku laughed, “You’re insane. I need to go.”

Roxas kissed his cheeks and forehead and said, “Can we do somethin later?”

“Sure. I donno what the red twins have planned but I wouldn’t mind goin out. There are a lotta clubs here and I haven’t been out to do anything like that since before Atlantica…You’re from here, so why don’t you show me what’s fun.” Riku said with a smile.

“I was tryin to but you said you gotta leave.” Roxas pouted.

Riku giggled at him. “That IS fun Rox and I wanna do it some more, but right now I need ta go.”

“Okay. I’ll see you down there. I love you, Riku.” Roxas said as he got onto his knees on the bed to hug Riku before he left. Feeling the thin frame against him, Riku’s eyebrows went up and he grabbed Roxas’ legs and flipped him onto his back. Roxas squealed and giggled but when Riku spread his legs and shoved his knees up to his shoulders, he squeaked. Riku kissed him as he ground against his upturned backside.

“Goddamn.” Roxas panted as Riku rose up off him and walked toward the door.

“Stop!” Roxas yelled, “Don’t leave me like this!”

Riku turned around to see a very naked and excited Roxas. He squinted his eyes and ran back, tackling Roxas on the bed. Roxas howled with laughter and shut up abruptly when Riku swallowed his entire cock in one sloppy gulp, then released it and stood up smiling. “I really gotta go, beautiful.”

Roxas stared a moment then squeaked out, “I feel so violated right now.”

They both laughed and Roxas started getting back into his wet suit as Riku picked up keys and ran a hand through his hair. They left for the shoot and everything seemed right.

  
  


Vanitas answered his phone to hear a frantic Reno. “Please tell me Axel’s with you yo.”

“He is.” Vanitas smiled at the pigtailed redhead sitting with him on the sofa watching Cloud’s tropical fish swim around.

“Thank the Father, Mary and the Baby Jesus! I been lookin for him everywhere. We were shoppin and he just disappeared yo. He had tried on some clothes so I had his wallet and phone but I knew he still had his gun. My fuckin God. Forgive me Father. He needs his meds and I just knew…” Reno ranted.

“It’s ok. He’s fine. I saw him walkin on the beach so I went out and intercepted him. He wants to stay here while you guys are in town.” Vanitas explained as he watched Axel walk over to the fish tank and sit on the floor.

“That’s cool, yo. I’ll bring his meds and stuff when I go to the shoot. It’s not far from Cloud’s house anyhow.”

As he spoke Vanitas was reminded that not long ago Reno and his dad had been involved so he had probably been there lots of times… and maybe didn’t really wanna be there right now.

“Say yanno if you don’t wanna come by we could come down to the shoot.” Vanitas offered Reno a way out if he didn’t want to run into Cloud and Xion.

“It’s cool yo. I hafta work with him so I may as well get used to not… you know… ok I gotta go check back in with SephiKu. I stopped by earlier but he was reamin your brother yo, so I left.”

Vanitas made a sour face. “Ugh, Reno. Unnecessary.”

“I’m just sayin, yo!” Reno laughed.

  


He showed up soon after with a small leather bag. He was giving it to Vanitas and Axel was mumbling about how he hated the pills. “He thinks they make him worse at first yo. He should be comin around soon though.”

Axel walked over to Reno and put both his hands in his hair. Reno smiled at him and kissed a wrist that hovered by his face. “How ya feelin, Runt?”

Axel looked confused. “I feel ok. I donno what…I’m sorry, Reno. Did I miss my meds again?”

“You did but its ok, yo. Vanitas said you wanna stay here for a couple days. You still wanna stay?” Reno was used to Axel changing his mind frequently. Every time he took his meds away he felt a little guilty, but it gave him a little freedom to be who he used to be every day. It was a whole lot easier to dole out justice in the slums if he didn’t have a crisis of conscience to deal with from the medicated version of his brother.

“I need m-my … I forgot, never mind. Yes I wanna stay here with Vani. The fish told me…” he shook his head and looked like he would cry for a second.

Reno hugged him and whispered, “I love you, Runt. You are ok. Vani will keep ya safe for me til I get back.”

Axel whispered, “Not like the other guy? No no not like the other guy. The other guy, he…”

“I know, I know, ok. But he’s dead remember? We killed him. You and me, ok?” Reno soothed him hoping he wouldn’t go on a tangent about people they had killed over the years.

“You and me forever, right Reno?”


	49. NNNYYYYYOOOOOWWWWW

NNNNYYYYYYOOOOOOWWWW

  


The shoot was going great. Riku loved to surf so he was in his zone and really didn’t care if they got the shots or not. His love for it showed in the photos and everyone was pleased. When Leon put his things away, Riku waved goodbye from his board. Roxas had come prepared and as soon as he had the _all clear_ he grabbed his board and headed out. When he reached Riku he was grinning. “God this feels great!”

Riku beamed. “I don’t mind the cold surf in winter on Destiny, but this is like eternal summer and I don’t think I would ever wanna leave if I lived here. What were you thinkin, Rox? What made you wanna go to gloomy ass TU?”

“Well, Mr. Beach bum, I grew up here and only stay at gloomy ass TU for nine months at a stretch, so it’s not so bad. I can party and be far enough away from Dad that he’s not pissing himself all the time and I still get to come home to this.” Roxas said as he watched the swell.

“I could buy a house here…” Riku mumbled as he thought about how happy he would be in an eternal summer with Roxas.

  


Vanitas looked at the meds in his hands: quetiapine, clozapine, and lorazepam. There were clear directions included with his meds because Reno wanted to make sure he got what he needed but not too much. He went through the instructions carefully, checked the time, and chose the ones that Axel needed now. “Axel it’s time for your meds ok?”

Axel walked over and hugged him and kissed his neck. “Gimme a kiss and I’ll take em.”

Vanitas laughed, “Take em first and then I’ll give you a kiss.”

Axel laughed. “Ha! I guess it’s true that you can’t con a con.” He took the meds from Vanitas and swallowed them down. “I’m hungry, Vani. Wanna go eat somewhere?”

“Sure, lemme put this away first.”

Axel watched every move he made and then said, “I ate a whole bottle of my clozapine once. It was bad.”

“Why did you do that?” Vanitas asked alarmed and wondering if he should’ve hidden the pills.

“That other part of me… wanted to die I think. Long time ago… doesn’t matter. Reno took care of me. That’s before Da died, I think.” Axel’s face went blank again as Vanitas watched him wondering how Reno had managed to care for him all this time and still have a career.

Axel snapped his head around to look at Vanitas like he had yelled at him and said, “We have a system, me and Reno.” It was creepy how he seemed to know what he was thinking sometimes.

“Reno does things so that I'll be ok when he’s gone. When I’m at school I stay on my meds and write it all down. I write everything down.”

Vanitas had noted that Axel rarely went anywhere without a computer or tablet. When he didn’t have those things he still had his cell. Axel grew quiet again and started taking down his pigtails. Vanitas smiled, “I like those yanno.”

Axel looked at him and smiled back. “Yeah me too, but being a nutter and knowing it is bad enough. I don’t need to advertise.” They both had a good laugh and went out to eat.

  


Ventus woke up to Demyx wiping his face with a cool cloth. All the things were put away and there was a guitar standing nearby. He was guessing that would be the norm from now on. He thought for a second about the last thing Demyx had said and his memory was sketchy. He remembered Demyx saying ‘one day’ but one day what?

Demyx looked into his eyes and said, “Stay right there. I wanna play a song for you.” He picked up the guitar and started playing something beautiful and then he sang, ‘ _Forever can never be long enough for me to feel like I’ve had long enough with you…’_ as he sang Ventus cried. He thought about how they met and all the things they had done together. He thought of how Demyx was patient with him when he didn’t want to settle down. He was always there.

When Demyx finished the song he leaned over to kiss Ventus and wipe his tears. “Yes!” Ventus said as he kissed him back. “Yes! Yes! Yes!”

  


Roxas and Riku lay in the sand watching the stars. Their plans to go out fell to the wayside when they started surfing together. They lay on the beach holding hands. “I’m so fuckin hungry.” Roxas said as his stomach grumbled.

Riku giggled, “Me too. We’re retched… layin here too lazy to feed ourselves.” They laughed at their situation and started to get up.

A voice form the darkness whispered _“…Riku…”_ He turned to look down the dark beach and saw nobody. He looked at Roxas who apparently hadn’t heard it. _Maybe it was just the surf or maybe it was just in my head_ Riku thought. They headed to Roxas’ home, not far from where they were.

Upon entering they found chaos. Cloud was laughing at Xion who was being flown around like and airplane by Axel who was being chased by Vanitas. Riku and Roxas stood and observed before speaking. Roxas poked his lips out then said, “Are they high?”

Riku was grinning. “No, axel has been off his meds and I’m assuming he’s still getting regulated… or not.” They watched Xion fly by again as Axel said, “Nnnnnnnnnnyyyyyoooooowwwwww!”

Xion was squealing and laughing and holding her arms out. Vanitas was running behind them saying, “Land the plane! Land the plane before it crashes!”

Riku laughed with tears in his eyes and Roxas just laughed. Riku thought of how amazing it must have been to grow up with a family like this one. He hugged Roxas and hid his face in his hair. “You’re so lucky.” He whispered.

Roxas hugged him back but asked quietly, “Are you ok?”

Riku nodded and they walked over to Cloud amongst the disorder that was life at the Strife residence. Axel made another pass and laughed as he yelled, “Look, another plane!”

Riku grabbed Roxas by the waist and hoisted him up like a ballerina and set out after Axel making the plane noise. Roxas squawked at Riku. “Don’t drop meeee!”

Cloud bent double, holding his stomach wheezing. Vanitas had given up the chase and was smoking a cigarette, exhausted. He took out his phone and started taking pics to send to Reno. He turned to Cloud who was recovering. The planes were slowing down and making loops and figure eights that enabled them to pick up things to fly to other ‘lands’.

“How did you do it, Dad?” Vanitas asked. He was in awe of his father at this point. He couldn’t imagine having four kids, each with their own unique special needs.

“I love you guys.” Cloud stated simply. “When you love someone it’s not a chore to take care of them.”

Vanitas watched his red plane and thought hard about that statement. He thought of Reno and his dad and how they seemed to take it in stride, and wondered if he would be able to be as selfless as they were. He wondered if he was good enough to take care of Axel when he needed to be taken care of.

Cloud watched his son’s expression and smiled. “Wonderin if you can do it?”

“Yeah. I donno if I can be that selfless, Dad. I donno if I can be everything he needs.”

“Every day of since you guys were born, Vani, I’ve had the same thoughts about you and your brothers. Every day I doubted my ability to care for all of you the way you needed me to. I always worried that I wouldn’t be enough.” Cloud patted him on the back. “It’s not a lot different than what you’re facing with Axel. He’s not your kid but he’s a part of your life and you love him.”

Cloud took Vanitas’ pack of cigarettes and lit one. “When I was with Sephiroth…there were good days and bad days. I was there for him when he’d let me be, but the toughest times were when he wouldn’t. There were times I wouldn’t hear from him at all for days then I’d get a call from him and he would be in an awful state, having been in the labs. It was bad. I tried to get him to leave ShinRa but they would have killed him and he knew it. At the end he was so screwed up from the experimental treatments they had given him… he wasn’t the Sephiroth I knew. But the thing is Vani, I was in it for the long haul with him. If he had gotten away from there with his sanity I have no doubt that he would have helped me raise you guys… and Riku too.”

Vanitas looked at Cloud and saw the pain on his face. “Do you miss him?”

“All the time.” Cloud said as he turned away and strolled out to the patio.

  


The planes landed soon after and they all sat down to pig out. Cloud came in and grabbed Riku’s sandwich and walked away with it and he squealed, “Hey Dad, bring that back!”

They all laughed as he made another sandwich. Retiring to the den to watch movies and be lazy together they all got blankets for snuggling. Cloud and Xion cuddled into a ball on one end of the sofa while Riku and Roxas took the other end. Axel and Vanitas took the chaise.

“What’re we watchin?” Vanitas asked as he snuggled against Axel. He glanced at the clock and whispered, “It’s time for your meds, baby.”

Axel made a face but nodded. Vanitas told him that when he stopped bitching about taking them he could take them on his own but he had to write it down for him. Axel agreed.

 Outside, Reno decided that Axel would be ok, Riku was being guarded well enough and he just couldn’t watch anymore. He walked away into the night to find an open bar.

  


The next morning, Roxas and Vanitas were getting their things together to go back to school and Axel sat drowsily holding his coffee. Riku was just in from his morning jog and Cloud and Xion were cooking breakfast. Riku passed Xion on her way out of the kitchen and sat down to watch Cloud.

Not having heard him come in, Cloud turned and screamed. “Aaah!! Goddammit! I wasn’t expecting to see you there, Riku.” He laughed.

Riku smiled and was quiet for a moment then said, “You know I've been meaning to tell you, I have some photos that you can have if you want. They were in the things that ShinRa sent over of Dad’s.”

Cloud stared at him for a second, then nodded. “That’d be nice…I only have a couple.”

Riku nodded once. “Hnn”

Cloud’s eyebrow rose slowly, his eyes growing larger.

“Yer eggs.” Riku stated.

“What?” Cloud said, still clearly somewhere else in his head.

“Yer eggs are done, don’t burn em.” Riku said as he started to peel and orange from the fresh fruit on the bar.

Cloud snapped back to reality and took the eggs off. “Riku, can I ask you something personal?”

“Sure. Anything. I’m not promising an answer though.” He grinned and Cloud’s right eye twitched.

“Fair enough… Do you ever hear voices that nobody else hears?” Cloud asked, half expecting Riku to tell him he needed to up his meds.

“Just my dad.” Riku stated flatly. Cloud’s jaw dropped as Riku continued to talk while slurping the orange. “I heard him in the past but I didn’t know it was him until I found out who he was and watched that surveillance footage that Rufus gave me for Christmas.”

Cloud stuttered, “Y-you have video…y-you can hear h-his voice?”

Riku nodded once. “Hnn, you can watch it if you like or I can make you a copy. It’s not very long and he’s talkin to Grandfather I think. He does mention you, though.”

Cloud’s eyes filled with tears and Riku panicked. “I’m sorry! I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t mean to…” At this point Riku was blinking back tears of his own.

“It’s ok Riku. It’s alright. Calm down ok. I’m glad you told me.” Cloud wiped his face. “I just thought that… I never thought I would hear that voice again outside of my own head.”

Riku was devastated that he had upset Cloud and Cloud could see it in his eyes; eyes that looked greener every time he saw the boy. Cloud being Cloud only knew one thing to do. He walked over and hugged Riku. He was stunned and nervous as he accepted what he felt like he was stealing. He didn’t deserve a hug like this. He had never been a good son.

As he held Riku he said quietly, “For what it’s worth, twenty one years too late, I wish that everything had been different, Riku. I wish that Sephiroth could’ve lived to see you. He would’ve been a great father. I know he would have. We could have raised you boys together as a family. I loved him so much and I feel blessed to be able to spend time with you. I want you to consider this place your home too.”

Releasing Riku from the embrace, he looked into crying green cat eyes. 


	50. SHINRA

SHINRA

  


Back at school, the Strifes prepared for their weekend party. Riku wasn’t at school anymore but he promised he would be at the party if he could weasel out of work. Reno had delivered a reasonably stable Axel back to campus and then left to guard Riku’s body. Before he left, he asked Vanitas to keep an eye on him in his stead. Vanitas agreed, thinking Axel would be spending most of his time there.

In his dorm Axel lay on his bed tossing his pills up in the air and catching them in his mouth like candy. Nobody knew.

  


Axel showed up at Strife House wasted. He was slurring and staggering when he fell against Vanitas. "I think I overrrdost ommy annidep...ammidepres...my lil pills."

Vanitas looked at him for half a second before it registered. "What?! What do I do? Shouldn't you vomit or somethin?"

Axel stared and said, "That bunny is a lyyyying motherffffucker." Vanitas text Reno.

Vanitas: Axel OD on lorazepam. What do I do???!!!

Reno: is he walkin?

Vanitas: yes

Reno: did he puke yet??

Axel started retching and threw up everywhere.

Vanitas: yes

Reno: is he talkin??

Vanitas: yes

Reno: enjoy - send pics

Vanitas stared at his phone and looked at Axel. Axel looked at him and grinned. "Sorry Vani."

Vanitas looked at the mess and said, "No problem." He went about cleaning.

  


Riku boarded a plane heading to Midgar. Reno sat by his side fidgeting. "What's wrong with you?" Riku asked, a little annoyed with the redhead.

Reno glanced over and said, "I got a bad feelin yo."

"About what?" Riku asked with genuine concern.

"I donno exactly."

"Do you think maybe you're worried because of Axel?"

"Nah he does that sometimes."

"Think maybe you're stressed out and need a break from me?" Riku dropped his eyes but kept his chin up.

"No princess," Reno chuckled. "If I wasn't with ya, I'd be worried about ya, so that wouldn't be worth a shit. Don't stress about it yo."

"Say Reno...you got a bump?" Riku asked quietly.

"Not for you, gorgeous." Reno said as he reclined his seat.

Riku pouted. Reno hissed, "Stop that shit! You're a fuckin tease, yo."

Riku chuckled then leaned over to whisper, "How can you call me a tease? I let you touch me...and taste me..."

Reno's head snapped around to face Riku. "Stop that!" He spat. "That was all teasin too. When me and Axel do that for someone it's to make them feel good. We've never had someone we couldn't reach."

"But it felt amazing. Whatcha mean you couldn't reach me?" Riku asked feeling again like he was faulty in some way.

"You never really let go yo." Reno said. "You were into it, but you kept your defenses up."

Riku nodded. "It's the only way I know how to be."

"I wanna see you like that one day. I wanna see you free. I bet that shit is amazing and beautiful and absolutely devastating. I might not ever be the same, yo." Reno chuckled.

"Get me some H and I'll show you free." Riku laughed quietly.

"I bet, yo. I bet you get relaxed and happy and don't give a fuck at all."

"Yes, it's clear according to my history- that shit turns me into a person of very loose morals." Riku giggled. The flight attendant walked by and Reno got them drinks.

"So... if I let you... would you like be all off the deep end and back at Atlantica?" Reno asked, merely fishing.

"It's not like that. If I don't do it all the time and get strung out, I can hit and quit. Before when I got strung out I was using like three times a day. I was a waste case." Riku explained as his inner junkie was chewing his nails and picking at his face and pulling his hair, hoping he was right about where this conversation was going.

"Boss man did tell me ta give you what ya wanted, yo… but ya gotta promise not to abuse it." Reno produced a small treat for Riku in the form of white powder.

“Whassat?” Riku was mesmerized.

“It’s somethin to help ya out” Reno mumbled as he passed it to him with a conveniently well-stocked first aid kit.

Riku’s mouth watered and he couldn’t believe that his stubborn bodyguard was providing his drugs. “What’s the catch?”

“No catch, sweetheart. We’ll be travellin a lot… I have people in the business I can trust… and I don’t wanna hafta learn ta score dope in fifteen different languages, yo.”

Riku nodded slowly and then went on auto-pilot, cooking, tying, injecting, nodding. Reno watched him and hated himself just a little more. Rufus had suggested that he provide the model’s drugs to insure their purity and unbeknownst to him, slip in a bit of ShinRa technology.

  


When Riku became more lucid, Reno asked what he had wanted to ask all along. "So what happened that night on Destiny?"

Riku nodded like he had been expecting the question. "I wasn't tryin to OD. I just did too much. It's easy to do with speedballs."

Reno nodded and they sat quietly for a few minutes. He looked at Riku and said simply, "Let's get drunk, yo."

"Challenge accepteeeed." Riku answered and they proceeded to get loaded.

By the time they landed in Midgar, Reno had to call for car to take them to ShinRa. They sat on a bench to wait and leaned against one another. Soon Riku was snoring softly. Reno’s giggles bounced his head off his shoulder, which made him laugh harder, which jostled Riku even more.

Finally Rude showed up and what he saw was ridiculous. Reno was laughing hysterically, lying on his stomach on the sidewalk. Riku was lying across Reno's back face-up, one arm over his head like he was hailing a cab, sound asleep. Rude pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed as he got out to collect them.

  


The party at Strife House was the usual. Ventus and Vanitas, Sora and Roxas all showed their asses, literally. Olette laughed at them and had a great time with her new family. When Axel finally passed out they put up his pigtails and gave him a makeover that made him look like a beautiful drag queen. They sent pictures to an already drunk Reno.

Reno: hey he looks prettyful yo

Vanitas: wud

Reno: me and SephiKu in Midgar - he has work

Vanitas: wish u guys were here -we're all wasted

Reno: we got drunk on tha plane lol

Vanitas: kanpai!

Reno: kanpai!

Reno took a pic of Riku hanging over Rude's shoulder and sent it to Roxas. Roxas checked his phone and laughed then he showed everyone and they made jokes about Riku being a tragic mess like every other supermodel.

After the tragic mess woke from his nap he ended up going clubbing with Reno. Everyone knew who he was and wanted to dance with him. People groped him while they danced and he let them. More than a few asked him to leave with them to which he replied "My Turk says I can only leave with him." To which Reno would raise his glass and nod at whoever was asking. Nobody asked more than once.

Bar after bar they burned through Midgar like a meteor and ended up at Reno's apartment. "Move over lech." Riku said as he rooted Reno to the edge of his bed.

"You can sleep in Axel's bed if ya want." Reno giggled as Riku pushed into his lower back using his head.

"I wanna sleep with you." Riku said yawning.

"I'm gonna remind ya of that one day yo." Reno laughed as he relented and gave Riku some space.

Riku crawled under the covers and snuggled him. "G'night lech."

"It's mornin princess."

"Whatev" Riku mumbled as he dozed off.

Not long enough later, Reno was awakened by his alarm. He couldn't move because he was pinned down by a sleeping beauty. He smiled and brushed his hands down Riku's back to his ass. He had slept naked and Reno didn't even notice. He had been drunker than he thought. He squeezed his ass gently and whispered, "Wake up."

Riku stirred and Reno could feel him getting hard. He snickered and squeezed again. Riku shoved his knee between Reno's legs and shoved them apart. Reno removed his hands from the ass and put them on his shoulders. "Wake up yo. It's all fun and games til somebody's ass gets violated."

Riku mumbled and reached down to Reno's hip. He pulled his knees under him forcing Reno's legs up and apart. "Nope! Wake up yo."

Riku mumbled again and reached between their bodies and then stopped. His eyes opened sleepily and he tried to focus. "Ooh red. I thought you were Rox til I..." Riku gave him a squeeze.

Reno hissed, "Stop that…and get off yo."

"Whyyyy" Riku whined as he did it again and pressed himself to Reno, giggling.

"Because I said stop and I'm the boss yo." Reno said with much less authority.

"You don't sound very sure that you want me to stop." Riku smirked.

Reno gasped as Riku began stroking him. "I would sound a lot more sure if you weren't holdin my dick, yo."

Riku laughed and pressed against him again, "Come on, just a lil bit. Pleeease" Riku was using all the sex appeal he could muster without laughing at the squirming red head.

"Imma tell on you." Reno threatened as he realized his hands had found their way back to Riku's ass.

Riku rolled his hips. "Oh, if you're tellin then I better make it count."

He kissed him and rolled his hips again making Reno moan but then start to push him away. Riku countered with a push of his own. Reno could feel hot slippery pressure and said "no means no" in a very small voice.

Riku pushed a little more and then sat up on his heels and started looking around for some kind of lube. "We're not doin this." Reno protested as he started wiggling his legs down. Riku nodded with an evil grin, stroking himself.

Reno averted his eyes and covered his bits with both hands and started to whistle a tune. Riku moved and snapped Reno's legs together so he could straddle him and resume his shameless exhibitionism. The whistling stopped and green eyes snapped to the body sitting on top of him.

"Look at you…god…damn.” Reno hissed. "I could watch you do that shit all day" he said as he reached up to touch Riku's chest.

Riku smirked, "You like to watch, Red?"

Reno nodded.

Riku leaned his head back and continued to touch himself while he sat on Reno. He vaguely heard Reno whispering a prayer. He thought of the night with Reno and Axel and how erotic it had been. Then he felt Reno pour some oil over his cock and he moaned. "Not gonna tell me to stop?"

"Never again" Reno breathed.

Riku was sitting right on top of his aching erection and he silently lamented not being able to touch himself but he didn’t want to disturb him. He rolled his hips gently and Riku squirmed and scooted forward enough to get Reno’s cock in between his ass cheeks. He nodded that it was ok, so Reno grasped his hips and continued to grind against him.

Riku shivered as he started to breathe harder and looked down at Reno, eyes glassy, mouth slightly open and Reno could’ve sworn his eyes were greener than he had ever seen them.

Riku smirked and closed his eyes as he made a show of it for Reno and then groaned as he came all over his chest and stomach. Reno followed suit, gripping Riku's hips as he did. Riku looked down at the mess when he began to breathe more evenly. "Well...wow...you're a mess."

Reno smiled sweetly and jerked him down on top of him. Riku shrieked like a girl and Reno laughed.

 

In the shower Reno said, "Think Blondie will be mad yo?"

"Prolly but he had it coming. Besides it's not like I fucked you. He had already fucked some girl at the hotel before I got to Costa." Riku said it like he was reading a grocery list and Reno was stunned. He couldn't believe Roxas would be so easily swayed. He thought he was deeply in love with SephiKu. _Maybe Roxas really is as fickle as his dad_ Reno thought.

  


Reno sat at the cafe table waiting on their food while Riku went to the restroom. He checked his phone and made sure that pic he secretly took looked as good as he thought. It did, and he thought about sending it to Roxas but he didn't wanna wreck the relationship. He would let Roxas do that all by himself.

Riku came out and sat down. "Rox isn't answerin. I guess he got pretty wasted last night."

"We did too yo." Reno laughed.

"Yes we did." Riku giggled. "So what we got today?"

"ShinRa. Rufus wants you to see the doc there."

Riku grumbled, "Don wanna go.”

"Don’t start that. It's part of the deal." Reno scolded.

"What if I quit?" Riku snapped.

Reno looked up from his food, "You would do that?"

"Sure. I got my own money and I am who I am, so... I don't need to work for him."

"Okay well get today over with and then talk to him yo.”

  
  


Roxas saw his missed call and groaned. He had been so wasted. They smoked some amp and skated the cemetery. Everyone was tripping. Riku would've loved it. He was sticky and he couldn’t remember why. What or who had he done?

In the shower, his space was invaded by a female. She smiled and grabbed his ass. "Share."

Roxas stared, trying to figure out where he knew her from. "Aren't you the nurse from rehab?"

She nodded and got on with her bathing. "As a matter fact I have to be at work soon. Thanks for last night. My god I haven't been fucked like that in years."

Roxas nodded and he remembered. "Rikku."

"Hmm?" She looked back.

"Nothin, never mind." He said as she left and he realized two things.

1 he had cheated on Riku-officially this time and 2 he needed to get high before he faced him

 

Roxas was almost dressed when Vanitas came into his room and he was pissed. “What the fuck Roxas?”

“Look Vani, I’m s-

“You goddamn well should be! I thought you loved Riku. Rox this isn’t right. It’s fucked up. If you didn’t really want him, you should’ve just let him be with Sora!”

Roxas sat with his mouth open. Vanitas had always been the one to bust his balls. Roxas dropped his head and mumbled, “I’ll fix it.”

  


Reno escorted Riku to the labs at ShinRa. “I’m gettin a headache. I really had too much to drink last night.” Riku grumbled as they walked past blushing nurses.

“Yeah, we did really. How bout when you’re done here I give you a treat yo?” Reno said as he signed him in and they sat to wait.

“Yay! Surprises! I love surprises.” Riku grinned and winked at Reno.

“Sto…you know what, go ahead yo. Go ahead and ‘smart-ass’ ya way right out of a good time. I’ll let ya.” Reno snarked as he fumbled with his keys. Riku giggled at the pissy redhead.

A nurse came and called Riku back. As soon as he was gone, Rude popped in and sat with Reno. “The boss wants you to wear this.” He handed Reno a tiny camera that would be perfectly camouflaged on his lapel.

“He wants you to get him to talk about Sephiroth.” Rude said as he stood to leave.

“That’s fucked up yo. Sometimes I don’t like my job.” Reno bitched as he put the pin camera on his jacket.

The nurse came back out a few minutes later and said, “OK Reno, you can sit with him now if you like.”

As he walked into the room, he got that yucky feeling again. Maybe it was just that he hated being in the labs.

Riku was sitting on the side of a gurney with electrodes on his chest and back and an IV in his arm. Reno sat down on the doctor’s stool and started spinning, hoping Rufus was watching.

“What are you doin?” Riku laughed.

“Just havin some fun yo. So what they say? How long is this gonna take?”

“I donno, she took some blood and gave me a shot. It was disgusting.” Riku complained as he rubbed at his hip.

“Why was it disgustin? You’d think you’d be used to getting shots yo.”

Riku gave him a look that clearly said ‘ _fuck off’_. “It was fuckin green and looked like cool aid but it went in like jell-o. Disgusting.”

Reno stared for a moment while his inner alarms blared. He had to keep calm. _Might as well get him talking and see what’s going to happen_ he thought. He acted unconcerned as he asked, “So did you ever go through that stuff they gave you of your dad’s?”

Riku sighed, “Yeah. There were photos and stuff. It was hard…I wish I had known him. I told Cloud he could have some of the pics. He seems like he was pretty gone on my dad. I felt bad for him when I tried to talk to him about it. He’s such a nice guy. He told me that his home was open to me, and that he wished that he could have raised us all together…with Dad. It would’ve been great I think. But…water and bridges and shit.”

Reno nodded and said quietly, no longer wanting to be a part of the invasion of privacy…or talk about Cloud, “So did you get any insight into what kind of person he was?”

Riku nodded as Reno paid more attention to the heart rate monitor that had been steadily increasing since he began to talk. “Rufus gave me some video footage of him talking. It was a personal conversation about…” his voice cracked and Reno’s eyes shot up to see him near tears. “It was about me and… he was happy and laughin…and there was…” Riku coughed. “I’m gonna be…”

Reno grabbed a pan for him to puke into. No sooner was he done than a nurse came in and collected the mess and left with it. He looked miserable. “My head hurts…Dad…”

Riku’s head was splitting and he could hear Sephiroth but he couldn’t understand him. Reno was helping him lie down and saying something. “What?” he asked Reno.

“I asked if you wanted some water yo.”

Riku shook his head and said, “Sleep, just sleep.”

  


“Wake up Riku.”

When he awoke, he felt great. Reno was sound asleep in the chair so he wondered how long he’d slept. “Wake up Red, I want outta here. I want a bump.” It was at that moment he realized that he was in a different room and all the sensors were gone. Reno was wearing different clothes. How long had he been asleep?

Reno woke, rubbing his eyes. “Mornin Lazarus.”

Riku stared for a second and then asked meekly, “Did I die?”

“The doc said you had allergic reaction to the shot they gave you. Technically yes you did die, but not before you trashed the room, scared the nurses and broke the doctor’s arm… 3 days ago.” Reno said flatly. “Any questions, dollface?”

Riku shook his head clearly guilt ridden about what he had done. “I… just wanna go… leave.” To add insult to injury he didn’t even have a home to go to.


	51. SLIPPING

SLIPPING

  


Riku was having a bad time. Reno had whisked him off to a photo shoot at a resort in Healin and Rufus was going to be there. He was planning to talk to him about quitting, so he was bit nervous. He felt as if he owed Rufus and he didn’t want to disappoint him like he always seemed to disappoint Xemnas.

The resort was in a beautiful area of the mountains, surrounded by plants and trees that were rarer in other parts of the world; some probably not seen by many people during their lifetime unless they were native to the area… or if they had a greenhouse in the mansion where they grew up. As beautiful as it was, the resort was equally secluded, making the acquisition of enough drugs to keep him pacified Reno’s job.

He had watched the young model’s face as they sat in the back of the limousine. He was seriously debating something and Reno had made a game of trying to figure out what he was thinking before he asked, to see how well he could read his charge. _He’s stressin about how hard it would be to score in this backwoods place…_ Reno thought and then he saw Riku’s beautiful eyes flick in his direction and then back to the scenery. _He’s thinkin-Reno’s got this, Reno’s got this…_ Reno giggled to himself and then he saw the fingers begin to pick and the knee begin to bounce. _He’s thinking-Reno **better** have this_ , the redhead was dying to laugh but his heart wouldn’t let him. It was sad to see someone so young and beautiful be so self-destructive.

Leaning over to whisper to Riku, Reno smiled. “I got this yo.”

“You better.” Riku grumbled not surprised at all that Reno knew what he was thinking. He had become accustomed to the Turk’s amazing gift for reading him. He could look at his face for a few minutes and tell if he _was high, needed to get high, was hungry, was tired, was lonely, was horny, was pissed, had to piss…he’s got all of that down_ , _Riku thought, but does he know how much comfort his presence gives me? I doubt it_.

Staring at the greenery as they drove through the mountains, Riku thought of Roxas and began to pick at his nails. Reno stilled his hands with his own without even looking in his direction. Riku sighed and laid his head over onto the redhead’s shoulder so he patted his thigh and then shifted so that he could nap if he wanted. Taking comfort in the constant vigil that Reno always seemed to keep over him, Riku closed his eyes and thought of the ocean as the car wound around the narrow road and the sun flashed against the dark tint of the windows.

  


By the time the limo pulled to a stop at the resort, Riku was snoring softly and Reno had a cramp in his leg and his hand was asleep… but he was smiling. Fumbling with his phone, he took a pic of the sleeping surfer before he woke him. “Wake up Princess, we’re here.”

Riku rubbed his eyes and yawned as he sat up and then looked at Reno’s wrinkled suit that had doubled as his bed. He squinted and smoothed his lapel for him and attempted to wipe off a string of drool that had soaked into the fabric already. Reno laughed and Riku smiled sleepily as the two crawled out of the too comfortable car.

“The shoot is tomorrow yo. You hungry?” Reno spoke over his shoulder as Riku adjusted his junk and his shirt. “Always.” he mumbled as they walked toward the restaurant.

“The food here is really good. Rufus likes to come here a lot and… oh speak of the devil, yo. There he is.”

They were seated by the staff and brought menus before they could even begin a conversation. Once settled and Riku began to get comfortable under the lecherous stare of his boss, he smiled. “S’up Mr. ShinRa?”

“Please call me Rufus. I feel terribly old when you call me Mr. ShinRa.” Rufus smirked. “Do you like it here, in the mountains?”

“Yeah, it’s beautiful. I like all the trees.” Riku said as he put his menu aside and glanced at Reno who nodded.

“Your father was fond of the place as well…he liked to come here in winter as I recall.” Rufus shared as he sipped his wine.

When the waiter came, Reno ordered for the both of them (that’s what that look and the nod conveyed) and they had a relatively quiet dinner. Riku pondered what Sephiroth did while he was at the resort but didn’t ask. He kept table talk to business. When dessert came, he was having a smoke and a glass of wine when he noticed a flash nearby.

“Oh dear, they’re here already.” Rufus mumbled.

“Want me to squash it yo?” Reno offered.

“No, that’s alright Reno…they’ll be hounding us all weekend so you’ll have plenty of other opportunities to shoo them away. Let them have this dinner.” Rufus glanced in the direction of the paparazzi and smiled proudly. They knew he had his Turks with him all the time so they also knew that if they were getting photos, it was because he was allowing it.

As if thinking along the same lines, Riku looked over his shoulder and the room lit up with flashes. He smiled before he turned to look at Reno who turned his face away from the cameras but smiled as well and gave the model a wink. Riku giggled at Reno for shying away from the cameras but he knew that as a Turk he needed to be less conspicuous.

  


Excusing themselves after the meal, Reno and Riku went to their shared suite and split apart to their separate bedrooms without a word. Riku hit the shower and emerged in a robe, flopping onto the sofa and grabbing the remote to channel surf. Reno emerged from his room in a matching robe with a bottle of bourbon, smoking a joint. “Move, yo…let a workin man sit down.”

Riku snorted as he drew his knees up allowing room for the redhead, but refused to sit up. Reno sat down and tugged his feet over so he could stretch his legs out across his lap. Flipping to his back he grinned at his bodyguard. “Pass bitch.”

Reno laughed as he leaned over and held the joint to Riku’s lips. “So it’s like that now?”

“Yes.” Riku croaked as he held the smoke in his lungs and winked.

Reno nodded and hit the weed that he had brought from home. “So we got half the day tomorrow before you’re scheduled…you sleepin in or sight-seein?”

“Sleeping in.” Riku said closing his eyes and focusing on the slow heaviness that was creeping over his limbs. “I wanna hit…you bring anything or we need to go out?”

“You don’t need ta hit, yo…but I got somethin if ya start ta get sick.” Reno watched him lay with his eyes closed, just looking beautiful on purpose. He furrowed his brows and mentally cursed Riku’s parents for making him so pretty.

“I wanna hit to get high…why can’t I?”

“Cause I said, yo.”

“You’re not the boss of me.”

“Yes…I am.”

“No…you are not.”

“Am.”

“Not.”

“We’re not havin this conversation yo. You need to quit that shit…it’s killin you and I don’t like bein a part of killin you, Princess.”

Riku opened his eyes to see Reno looking at him with a pained expression and immediately felt guilty. “Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize yo.”

“Sorry.”

“I said don’t…”

“I said I’m sorry.”

“I said stoppit!”

Riku cackled, making Reno laugh too. _Those dimples are the cutest thing that the Holy Father ever created,_ Reno thought and then suddenly he lost his breath. _What the fuck am I doin? I’m moonin over him like a love-sick teenager! Fuck that! I’m not fallin for a junkie yo! Not even a beautifully broken one like him…am I?_

Standing abruptly and dumping Riku’s feet onto the sofa in the process, Reno walked briskly out onto the balcony and closed the door _. I’m slippin, I gotta get my shit together yo. This is my job… this is my fuckin job._

Riku watched him go and wished that he was as good at reading Reno as Reno was at reading him. Dragging up from his spot on the sofa, he stepped out to check on his friend. “Are you ok? I didn’t mean to give you a hard time…I won’t use tonight…ok?”

Reno smiled at him and nodded. “It’s cool yo…I just worry about your reckless ass.”

Riku grinned and nodded. “I got this. I’ll go out when I’m ready, and not a moment before.”

“Don’t say that, yo.”

“What?”

“That you’ll do that.”

“What, die?”

“Yeah.”

“Everyone dies, Reno.”

“I know…but just don’t say it like you’re gonna do it yourself, yo.”

“K”

Reno’s head snapped around to see a smirk of epic proportions and he burst into laughter. “Fuck you, yo.” He walked back into the suite mumbling about _evil SephiKu and prayers for plagues to be visited on his family for generations to come._ Riku smiled and followed.

  


Around midnight, Riku stood and stretched before mumbling a goodnight and stumbling to his bedroom, leaving the door ajar. Reno glanced up from the documentary he had been engrossed in just in time to see Riku drop his robe and crawl into bed naked. “Fuck my life.”

Riku lay in his temporary bed staring in Reno’s direction through the partially open door. He looked troubled. Yawning, he reached for his phone and thought of calling Roxas for phone sex. Checking his messages, he saw that there were a few random ones from his friends and that made him smile. Re-thinking the phone sex, he called the blonde back in Twilight Town.

Roxas answered on the second ring and sounded like he had been asleep. “Mellow?”

Riku giggled. “Yes…as a matter of fact I am.”

Roxas laughed with him as he perked up some. “Hey baby…what you doin?”

“I just crashed…wanted to talk to you before I went to sleep.”

“Oh yeah..? What ya wanna talk about?”

“Your ass.”

“Okay” Roxas giggled. “You want pics this time?”

“Sure.” Riku said as he slid his free hand under the covers to touch himself.

In the next room Reno’s eye twitched and he shook his head. “Nope!” Walking over to the door, he swung it closed and headed to his own bed.

Riku waited and when the first photo came in, he drooled and thanked Roxas profusely. He was used to getting nudes from the blonde and was used to the odd angles that the pictures sometimes were taken at. The second picture was different. It had obviously been taken by someone else so after Riku tore his eyes from the focal point of the shot which was Roxas’ fingers in his own ass, he asked breathlessly. “Who’s there with you?”

“Sora…don’t be mad.” Roxas said equally breathless.

“M not mad, baby.” Riku panted as he stroked himself slower as the jealousy crept in, twining its slimy fingers through his guts and giving a tug. Roxas had belonged to Sora long before he ever belonged to him…and he wasn’t altogether sure that he didn’t still…

Squeezing his eyes shut, he tried to push the thoughts away as he continued. His phone buzzed again and he thought of ignoring the photo altogether but he couldn’t. Looking at the screen he hissed. He wanted to be mad…and he would be…as soon as he was done… “Goddamn Rox…” he grunted as he dropped his phone and tried to control the mess he was making.

He could hear rustling sheets and mumbled words and feverish kissing noises coming from the cell that lay beside him. He stared at the device as his breathing slowed and he heard a moan and realized that he honestly couldn’t tell Sora from Roxas. Cleaning his hands while he waited, he looked at the photo again and hung up the phone. He stared and waited but when no return call came, he text: Sorry I rolled on the phone. Going to sleep. ILY.

  


Reno had just dozed off when he heard the pitter patter of photogenic feet coming into his room. Rolling up one slightly bloodshot eye, he saw Riku creeping toward his bed being as quiet as he could. Reno lay still just to see what he would do.

Crawling onto the bed gently so as not to disturb his sleeping bodyguard, Riku curled on top of the duvet and reached over slowly to take a wild strand of bright red hair and rub it between his fingers before closing his eyes.

Reno waited fifteen minutes for the soft snore that he had grown accustomed to… not as loud as Axel’s but not as quiet as someone who didn’t snort enough coke to tweak a small nation. When the soft buzz began he sat up and pulled the blanket from the foot of the bed and covered him with it, trying to ignore his nudity. Laying back to stare at the ceiling, he knew he wouldn’t be going to sleep anytime soon. _What’s up with SephiKu? Is he lonely? Hadn’t he been on the phone jerkin off with his boyfriend just a bit ago?_

The Turk in him couldn’t _not_ know so he left the bed gently, walked over and turned on the bathroom light and closed the door as if it was occupied, and then headed to Riku’s room to check his phone. The device was easy enough to find because the light was flashing for a new message. Picking it up, he wasn’t surprised that it was from Roxas. The message said: ILY2.

Reno thought to himself, _well isn’t that sweet…you love him too…let’s see what made him come crawling into my bed…_ Scrolling back up he looked at the photos that the blonde had sent during their conversation earlier. _Pic of the ass…nice…pic of fingers in the ass…who took this one I wonder…I wonder if SephiKu noticed…of course he did…pic of…what the fuck? Whose dick is that? Why would he send a pic of someone else about to fuck him…Ohh nooo…I bet I know._

Reno looked at the final pic briefly before he could make heads or tails of the body parts. _Pic of Roxas sittin on Sora and jerk…oh yeah. Fucking little bastard. I oughta kill him. Surely Cloud would be cool with it…he has three more kids. Motherfucker…I’ll get you back you little asshole._

Dropping the phone where he found it, making sure to click _keep message new_ on the last one that came in, he strolled back to his bed to find Riku still sleeping. After turning off the bathroom light, as gently as he could, he snuggled in beside him. Whispering a quiet prayer for his _probably_ devastated friend, he fell asleep.

  


 


	52. FALLING

FALLING

  


The next morning, Riku woke to breakfast in bed. Looking around for Reno, he croaked his name and waited. The redhead popped in, all smiles. “Yes, Princess?”

Riku smiled sleepily and Reno wondered how could Roxas not see what he saw. How could he even let someone else touch him?

“You did this?”

“No, room service did that… I just made the call yo.”

“It’s nice…thank you.”

“Sure…eat, we have plans.”

“Eat with me…and what plans?” Riku sat up and pulled the blanket over his lap, motioning for Reno to come and join him.

Reno crawled onto the bed so he could sit cross-legged opposite the tray of food and tried to keep his eyes off all the pretty so his brain could form sentences. “I thought we could hit some of the little shops in town. The locals here make the most awesome hand-crafted jewelry…and if you act right I just might be inclined to buy ya something pretty, yo.”

Riku smiled and started picking over his food, the shitty night before apparently forgotten. “You’re too good to me Reno…why?” he asked around a mouthful of eggs as he lit a cigarette and picked up his orange juice.

“Cause I’m sweet on ya.” Reno smirked, knowing that Riku wouldn’t take him seriously.

“Oh yeah?” Riku giggled and then stuffed his mouth full of pancakes dripping with syrup. “Kiff me baba, ah fweet onu foo.”

Reno laughed but as soon as the bite was swallowed and before he could stuff in more, he leaned across the tray and kissed him right on his sticky lips. Riku laughed and sat the table aside. “No fair! I wasn’t expecting that!”

“That’s when it’s best though… when it takes you by surprise yo.” Reno smirked again as he finished off the eggs and crawled off the bed. “Get showered and dressed and let’s go. I wanna show my woman off a little.”

“Hey fuck you Red…you’re way prettier than I am.” Riku said as he got up and left the blanket on the bed and strolled toward the bathroom naked and smoking his cigarette.

  


Reno stared at the open bathroom door for a full minute before he went inside and hopped up on the counter to watch the model shower while they chatted. “So…the shoot this afternoon…is for that designer you like.”

Riku was shampooing his hair as Reno ogled him through the shower door. “Yeah they said it was going to be outdoors…so I donno how I feel about that.”

“You’ll like it…there’s a waterfall out there at the site and everything…really pretty spot yo.”

“Cool…what’re you doing? Just sitting there watching? Get in here and scrub my back or something so I don’t have to yell.” Riku grumbled.

Trying not to sound too eager, Reno started disrobing immediately and snarked. “That’s not yellin but who am I to argue with the princess yo.”

Stepping into the shower, he was surprised when Riku squawked and laughed and then threw his arms around him. “I didn’t think you would actually do it!”

The full body contact was too much for Reno’s inhibitors so he wrapped him in his arms and pressed him to the shower wall for a passionate kiss. He could feel Riku’s pulse double-time as he returned the kiss and threaded his fingers through damp red hair. “Fuck…sorry.” Reno hissed as he broke the kiss, but kept him pinned to the wall.

“Why are you sorry?”

“Because you got a boyfriend.”

“I think sometimes someone should remind him of that.” Riku said dropping his head to Reno’s shoulder.

“I get it yo.” He rubbed his back as they stood under the hot spray thinking about their feelings and contemplating their lives, but saying nothing. After a few minutes when the mood was feeling entirely too heavy, Reno stepped back and pulled Riku off the wall, spun him around and slapped his ass. “Gimme that loofa yo… I owe you a back scrub.”

Riku smiled as he stood for his scrubbing. “You’re the best, Reno.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Reno smiled as he scrubbed.

  


Dressed and on the street, the two visited all the locally owned shops and Riku bought gifts for everyone back at TU and of course something for Reno… only Reno thought it was for someone else. Riku had been listening after the pancake kiss and had decided that he needed to do something special for the man who did so much for him. Putting the gifts away for later, they went to lunch and then on to the location of the shoot.

“There’s my baby!” Leon squealed as he rushed toward Riku with his arms out.

“Hi Leon!” He smiled, showing everyone his dimples. “We would’ve been here sooner but Reno took me shopping.”

“Oh did he now?” Leon cooed. “Every girl needs retail therapy.”

Riku snorted as Leon took his hand and dragged him to wardrobe…which was a trailer parked nearby. Inside he got busy. “So tell me, what did you buy?”

“I bought gifts for everyone from the local shops…we didn’t do the boutiques and chain stores.”

“Oh I love it!” Leon said happily. “Maybe we can incorporate some of it into the shoot.”

“Sound good…it’s all in the car except for these earrings that Reno bought for me. One piece that I bought is for him though… if we could work that into the shoot it would be cool.”

“Ok, what is it?”

“It’s a silver cuff bracelet that he was looking at…he thinks I bought it for someone else, but while he was browsing, I had the shopkeeper engrave it for me…for him…whatever.” Riku said as he dressed and then looked at Leon questioningly. “Is this it?”

“This is it baby doll.” Leon chirped. “We’re shooting bottom to top and that means skivvies first!”

Putting his robe on over his underwear, he stepped out and asked Reno to get the things he had bought from the car for Leon with a big “Pleeeaaase” and a wink and a blown kiss.

Reno grumbled about _spoiled brats_ and trudged away smiling.

“I think he likes you.” Leon winked at Riku.

“He kisses me… and it’s awesome.” Riku giggled. “I feel like such a bitch around him.”

Leon laughed. “He’s a Turk… everyone feels like a bitch around him.”

  


Reno watched Riku pose for photos in his designer underwear and not much else as he thought of Roxas and what a shithead he was. They had sprayed Riku’s hair with conditioner and pulled half of it up into a ponytail, leaving half of it to hang down his back with tiny micro-braids here and there. Standing near the water with a short silver necklace on, Reno thought he looked very exotic with his strange blue/green eyes and tanned skin.

They posed him with a female model who tried to cop a feel every chance she got and Riku said something in her ear that made her giggle… _that was cute_ , Reno thought as he watched Riku intercept wandering hands like a pro.

When the shoot had started Riku was in only underwear, but by the last shot, he was fully dressed in over-priced, outdoorsy-looking designer rags and boots that looked like they had been unearthed from a Great War concentration camp… and of course he wanted to keep those. The female model cooed over him and then gave him her number before her agent dragged her away.

“You ready to go, Princess?’ Reno chirped.

“Sure…let’s find a bar.” Riku said checking his phone for the millionth time before shoving it into his pocket.

Reno watched his face… he was fighting with Roxas again. “Blondie pissed again?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Cause…I donno…I asked him if he wanted to come but he said no, so…” Riku mumbled. “He just wants me home.”

“Oh…well, maybe next time he’ll come with.” Reno said, sincerely hoping that he would not.

  


They found a local bar and got smashed doing shots. The paparazzi was there and the two kept them entertained. Back at their cabin, Riku was sliding down the wall while Reno opened the door. “Come on baby. Almost there.”

“Gotta puke.” Riku said and Reno barely had time to get out of the way before he chucked his expensive liquor into the snow. An older woman had been coming their way with her tiny dog when he spewed. She shrieked, dropping her dog who immediately ran to sniff the puddle of vomit. For some reason the two found it hilarious and were falling all over one another to get inside. They could hear the woman cursing and screaming…but just barely over their laughter.

Falling onto the sofa, Reno watched Riku stagger to the bathroom giggling until he threw up the rest of his liquor. Silence. “Renooo!”

The redhead lost his buzz instantly and bolted to the bathroom where Riku was having a full-blown panic attack. There was blood in his vomit and on his hands. “Shit!” Reno grabbed some washcloths and tried to clean his face off while he calmly spoke to him. “It’s ok…it’s ok. I got ya. Probably just irritated your esophagus yo. It’s alright.”

When he calmed his breathing, Reno held him while he shook, mumbling, “Too white…everything’s too white.”

“Ok baby ok. We can get outta here. You’re SephiKu…you don’t have to stay anywhere you don’t wanna stay yo.” Reno comforted him as he tried to remember the last hit of junk Riku had taken. _That’s it…he’s getting sick._

“I got somethin for ya…let me take ya to the bed yo.” Reno helped him to his feet and they stumbled to the bedside where he dumped him and got to work cooking him up a hit. Riku sat up when he realized what Reno was doing and smiled. His hair was a mess and he was starting to sweat. As Reno loaded the syringe, Riku was clumsily stripping and hacking once every few seconds.

“Here ya go, Princess.” Reno said as he handed off the drugs to the now naked Riku.

“Sh-shoot…do it for me…in the back of my leg.” Riku stuttered as he lay on his stomach.

The Turk watched and as his eyes fell to the bends of Riku’s knees, he could see where the tracks had been covered with make-up earlier that day at the photo shoot. Cringing, he sat to work. “Do you have a preference yo?”

Riku snorted into the pillow. “I prefer to have your tongue up my ass when you do it…but beyond that, no.”

Reno chuckled and smacked his bare ass. “Stop that.”

  


After the drugs were administered, Riku nodded and Reno watched him, occasionally checking his heart rate. When he looked up at the redhead, he smiled. “Thank you.”

“It’s what I do.” Reno said with no amusement in his voice.

“Are you mad?”

“No.”

“Yes you are…I’m sorry, Reno.”

“Don’t apologize to me yo.”

“Sorry.”

“I’m not doin this right now.”

Riku looked at him sadly and mumbled, “K.”

“Goddammit!” Reno stomped out of the room and slammed the door. He had to get out of there. Flopping onto the sofa, he sat for about ten seconds before he realized that the sofa wasn’t far enough away, so he stepped out onto the balcony. Lighting a smoke, he stared out at the beautiful mountain view. Lost in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the movement inside the hotel room as Riku packed his things quietly.

When he finished smoking he went inside to hear the shower running and see the ready suitcases with a small box on top that had his name scribbled on it. “What the fuck...?”

Inspecting the box, he recognized it as being from one of the shops they had visited earlier. He started to throw it against the wall. No piece of jewelry would replace what he would lose when SephiKu finally left him…and he would. Junkies die.

He sighed with defeat when he thought of how hurt Riku would be if he didn’t accept the gift, so he sat down to open it.

Inside was the silver cuff bracelet that he had admired in one of the shops. Turning it over in his hands, he was about to put it on when his thumb passed over an engraving on the inside. He held it up to the light and read _amico, amanti, protector._

“Holy shit…” Reno stared briefly and then turned his eyes toward the bedroom door.

He slipped the silver cuff on his wrist and marched into the bedroom to thank Riku properly...and he wasn't going to back down this time. _Fuck Roxas_ , he thought, _if he doesn't appreciate what he has then I can finish wrecking it for him._

When he swung the door open, the smell of recently cooked drugs hit him in the face. "Nooooo" he saw Riku lying on the bed, face down.

Sprinting across the room he flipped him to his back to see that his face was an ashy gray color and his eyes looked wrong- half open and staring. Around his mouth, the grayish skin began to take on a blue tint. "No!"

Scrambling up to straddle his body, Reno began pounding on his chest. "Breathe! Breathe Goddamn you!" he was shaking all over but his body felt numb... He was scared.

He felt for a pulse and got nothing. The contents of his bag was scattered where Riku had plundered it for the heroin. Grabbing a fresh syringe, he scrambled to the small refrigerator to get a black bag that he had carried since his first trip with the model.

He rummaged through the glass vials until he found the Narcan and bolted back to Riku to resume his perch atop his lifeless body. Steadily praying his rosary, Reno's shaking hands filled the needle. Prying his jaws apart, Reno shoved the needle under his tongue.

Checking his watch, he waited...as the second hand swept around the face, his mind echoed memories... _"Come on SephiKu, let's get to work...wake up princess, you've got work...stop that...don't do that yo...makes me wanna fuck yer face..." That laugh, those eyes when he was happy...which wasn't often enough..._

After two sweeps around, he administered another shot into the dry mouth of the young man who had just given him a piece of jewelry that declared him ‘friend, lover, protector’… _“Hey Red…let’s find a bar…Reno, do you think my real dad would’ve liked me… I’ve missed this, the ocean…it’s where I find peace…”_

A loud gasp startled him back into his skin as he focused on Riku- taking vitals, checking pupils...

A shaking hand reached up to cup his face. "Reno... I think I OD’ed again." Riku croaked, dragging his thumb down a wet cheek. Reno nodded and tried to smile.

"I'm sorry." Riku squeaked and began to cough.

"What did I tell you about that, yo?" Reno whispered.

"Don't do it." Riku hacked, holding his ribs. Reno watched him for a moment and then moved to get off him.

"No don't." Riku stopped him and pulled his wrist forward that was adorned with the silver bracelet.

Both sets of eyes fell to the bangle as Reno whispered. “Thank you.”

  


The drug rushed through Riku’s system and he tried to focus. His skin felt like it was crawling off his bones and he had his jaw clenched tight. Shaking uncontrollably, he saw Reno reach for some tissue by the bed. Eyes watering, nose running, he didn’t feel much like a princess anymore as his bodyguard smiled at him and helped him under the covers. “Don’t don’t don’t…” Was all he could stammer out.

Reno seemed to know what he was trying to say though, because he crawled into bed and wrapped him in his arms…his new safe place. Using the tissues to clean his face up, the redhead began to sing softly as he held him.

Riku could feel every hair on his body standing up as he tried to stop shaking…he was cold…he was hot…he was so very sad…then he was distracted by an old lullaby. His lids fluttered slightly and he was falling…

  
  


School was back in full swing for spring semester and everyone was adjusting to new living arrangements. Sora and Olette were happily planning and shopping for a home. Ventus had called Cloud and told him of his engagement and he and Xion were happy.

Axel was regulated and back on his study. He said that he had pretty much everything he needed but he would be around anyhow with Vanitas. The two were all about each other and spent too much money on bandages, but they were happy.

Roxas was a mess. He assumed he had been dumped. He hadn’t heard from Riku in days, since their last fight, so he was back to square one and trying to live a semi-normal life. He partied on weekends but stayed away from junk, mostly. He stayed away from Sora, mostly, however he stayed in touch with Rikku. Wanting closure, he called Cloud and asked had he heard from Riku and Cloud said that he hadn’t but he would call Reno for him.

“Hey Blondie what can I do ya for?”

“I was calling actually to check on Riku. Rox said he hasn’t heard from him in days and he won’t return his texts. Is he ok, Reno?”

“He’s fine.” Reno watched Riku as he stood in front of a camera looking amazing.

“He was sick for a couple days, not drugs ok, but he’s workin.”

“Ok.” Cloud said, “Tell him to call me ok?”

“Will do.”

 

After his overdose at Healin, Riku had to do another stint in the labs, during which he had another meltdown. This time there were bodies. Reno had been watching him closely in the days since the episode but he seemed distant, reserved. No one had told him that he killed one of the nurses in the lab and one of the guards who tried to restrain him, but Reno had a feeling that he knew. All he had wanted when he left the labs was to get stoned… so he did.

Leon was talking to Riku about something and Reno saw him shrug his shoulders. He had better investigate.

“What’s up? Is SephiKu giving you a problem?” Reno asked jokingly.

Riku was looking at the floor, something he had done more of since he left the lab. He would stare like he was listening intently to something. Leon turned to Reno and snapped, “What did those freaks upstairs do to his eyes?!”

“His eyes? His eyes are fine. Can you see ok, Riku?”

Hearing Reno use his real name was odd so his head shot up and he nodded. Reno cocked his head sideways and stared at the elongated pupils. Riku scrunched his face and Leon screamed “Noooooo!!!”

Riku immediately apologized and dropped his head again, sighing. Reno watched him stuff his hands into his pockets and shuffle his feet. He remembered the first time he saw Riku at the Strife house… that same insecurity.

He reached over and raised Riku’s chin with a finger. “Are you done for the day?”

Riku nodded but didn’t smile; seemingly another side-effect of his visit to ShinRa.

Leon looked at him sadly. “I’ve got plenty. Go ahead and take off.”

Riku apologized again and went to change his clothes. While he was changing he could still hear them. He could still smell the cinnamonny smell of Reno and the too sweet smell of Leon. He hadn’t told anyone but since he left the labs, he hadn’t slept either. Pulling on his shirt, he walked back out, crossing the twenty-odd yards to where they stood, wondering how he could still hear and smell them from where he was.

 

They stopped talking upon his arrival but he had heard everything that was said. They were both worried about him and discussed what a tragic mess he was. Reno had even mentioned his heart and how Riku broke it. Riku wasn’t sure how he had managed that since they weren’t even fucking, but he figured if it could be broken, he would be the one to do it.

He had looked at his eyes in the mirror and he knew they were different, but he didn’t know why. He just knew that as fucked up as he was when he landed at TU, fresh from the grave, he was even more fucked up now that ShinRa owned him… but that was all about to change.

Nodding to Reno and sighing, he spoke to Leon. “I'm quitting. I don’t like the way this company works… nothin personal. You’ve been good to me but I just can’t deal… anymore.”

Reno and Leon looked at one another, stunned, as Riku turned to walk away.

Outside he shielded his green eyes, squinting in the sun. “I wanna go see Roxas.”

“About that” Reno started to explain. “Cloud called. They’re all worried about you and he wants you to call him. Maybe go for a visit to Costa… it’ll be good for ya.”

Riku nodded and looked back at the ground while he dug out his phone.

“Riku?” Roxas said into the phone he had run out of class to answer.

“Hey I miss you.” Riku said sadly.

“Where have you been? Are you ok?” Roxas asked hopefully.

“I been sick but I’m ok now.”

“When are you coming to see me?”

“Today.” Riku stated flatly. “Can you take tomorrow off school?”

“Sure…I’ve missed you.”

“Okay. I should be there sometime tonight.”

  


Reno tried to get him talking. He joked and offered him food but there was something missing from Riku. Something he had when he went into the labs that was no longer there. Reno had no choice but to follow him and try to keep him from doing anything stupid.

Riku walked into Rufus’ office unannounced, with Reno trailing behind trying to rein him in, and right up to his desk. “I quit. Thanks for everything.”

He turned abruptly and left Rufus and three of his board members sitting with their mouths open. “Reno!” Rufus crowed. “Get your ass back here and explain to me what just happened!”

Riku smirked as he heard the redhead hiss. “Right back.”

As he continued down the hallway, away from the office, he could still; hear Rufus “…I told you to keep him happy. Give him whatever he wants! What were you not giving him, Red? I gave you a pass for drugs, sex, whatever he wanted and he still quit…”

Hitting a new low, Riku shook his head as he stepped onto the elevator. _How could I be so stupid? He was just doing his job…_

Stopping in at Sephiroth’s old office, he closed the door and breathed deeply. The entire office smelled of leather and he loved it. He crept around and sat in his dad’s chair, spun it once and jumped out, then looked around once more before he strolled back out. Reno breezed past him in the hallway and said, “Wait for me outside! Rufus is havin a fit."

Riku nodded and pressed for the elevator. As he waited he saw shadows fill the halls but he rubbed his eyes and they were gone. The elevator opened and he entered to look into the face of his grandfather. “Where are you going unescorted, Riku?”

“I just quit, so I’m a civilian now.” he smiled peacefully.

Vincent smiled too and patted his back. “Smart kid. So…what now?”

“I’m goin to see Roxas …then I’m goin surfin.”

Vincent chuckled. “Sounds like a plan. Call Cloud will ya? He worries like an old lady.”

“I will” Riku smiled.

Outside, he didn’t wait on Reno.

  


Hopping off the plane in Twilight Town, he checked the time and headed for TU. Roxas opened the door before he knocked and wrapped his arms around him. “I missed you so much.”

“How much?” Riku asked as he breathed deeply in Roxas’ hair.

“Come in and I’ll show you.” He smiled.

He kissed Roxas standing there in the doorway and then he noticed small purple bruises on his neck, too faded for a normal person to see, but he didn't bother to ask about them. He just kissed Roxas again, thinking he was never good enough for the blonde anyway. Roxas' own guilt kept him from enjoying the kisses as much as he should have and it all felt awkward.

“Look there’s somewhere I gotta be. I just wanted to see you first.” Riku said as he pulled back leaving Roxas confused.

“Okay, when will you be back?”

“Not sure.” Riku said.

“What’s wrong with your eyes Riku? Are you _wasted_?” Roxas asked starting to feel a little betrayed himself.

“Not stoned baby.” he paused “Look I love you Roxas. I always have…ever since the first day…I just wanted you to know that. And I wanted to say thanks for…everything, ok.” Riku kept his eyes lowered.

“Why are you saying goodbye to me right now Riku? Are we over for good? I need an answer. You don’t talk to me for days and then you just show up and say you love me? Are you fucking Reno?” Roxas’ heart pounding as he realized that somehow Riku knew about his infidelity.

“I came because I wanted to kiss you… and yeah, I guess we’re done here.”

Roxas was convinced he was stoned. “Ok… but seriously where are you going in the middle of the night?”

“Why do you care, Roxas?” Riku snapped and glared at him, the threat in his eyes making Roxas step back. “I… just… whatever.”

Riku nodded and kissed his blonde hair, wincing at the sweet smell of someone else that lingered on his clothes. Riku looked at him for another second then turned to leave. “Tell everyone goodbye for me.”

  


He went straight back to the airport and got on the red eye to Destiny Island.

Roxas turned around in the empty den, feeling like he was missing something.


	53. FIN

FIN

  


Reno was happy for the Runt and his psychotic boyfriend, truly he was. They were a match made in Hell. They were like a fucked up version of Raggedy Ann and Andy, where Andy was a serpent from the pit and Raggedy Ann... well...looked awfully cute in pigtails.

He had never trusted anyone with Axel but he trusted Vanitas to take care of him. And that was great because right now he had to focus on his job.

_SephiKu, bless his junkie ass_... _forgive me Father_ , was a hot mess. Reno had seen him do more drugs and drink more booze than 10 people on any given weekend and not even flinch. He was a tragic mess and here he was driving down the coast to pick him up from his buddy's house on Destiny Island. It wasn't a good thing for Riku to be there so Reno was happy to steal him away.

 

Pulling up at Hayner's he hopped out and waltzed up to the door. Before he could ring the bell he heard someone yell. "Reno! Out here!"

_Aaah of course_ , Reno thought as he headed around the house. Riku was on the beach just out of the surf holding his board. It had been Hayner who yelled for him so he spoke as he approached. "How's it going, Hayner?"

"S'up Red? You come to kidnap the silver surfer?" Hayner giggled.

"I did, yo." Reno laughed too but he couldn't take his eyes off Riku.

He looked amazing out there where he felt free, and suddenly the redhead realized that he was there to take him away from it, and he felt like an ass. "Maybe we can hang out for a while yo...I mean he don't have to be nowhere til tomorrow."

"Great! I'll let you tell him and I'll call up Snowman." Hayner said as he headed for the house leaving Reno to his charge.

The first thing he did was shed his jacket because _fuck a dark uniform on the beach_. Tossing it toward the steps that led back up to the house, he walked toward Riku who had started walking his way. Reno looked at the silver hair that looked more gun metal gray when it was wet, the smooth tanned skin that stood out against the light blue board shorts that looked like they got thrown out from the Good Will.

The tether to his board was still around his ankle and swung as he walked, scattering sand with his bare feet. The board he carried was the color of mustard... exactly the color of mustard. Reno watched as a smile spread across Riku's face when he was near enough to speak. "How goes it SephiKu?"

"It goes better now that my bodyguard's here." He chuckled making Reno grin.

"Boss man says he wants you in Traverse Town tomorrow afternoon yo. Ya wanna hang here or take off and stay there?" Reno asked knowing that Riku would rather stay near the ocean but gave him a choice just in case the memories were too much.

"Depends." Riku said biting the inside of his lip as he looked at the white oxford that was never buttoned completely.

"Depends on what Princess?" Reno asked sarcastically as he watched Riku's impossible aqua eyes flit from his chest to his face then his hair.

"If I hang here, are you takin off?" Riku asked as his eyes settled on Reno's eyes waiting for an answer and daring him to look away.

"I'll hang around yo...unless you wanna be unsupervised in which case I would strongly advise against it...and hang around anyway." Reno said smugly as he watched Riku's smile spread until he could see his dimples.

"Cool I was hoping you'd say that. Come on and get outta that monkey suit. I wanna take you out. You ever surf before?"

"No... well not really yo. I had to learn as part of my trainin but I don't make a habit of bein in the sun." He held his arms out and added "Part of my charm is my Midgar-slum-cadaveric-glow yo."

Riku laughed. "Slum glow or not, your skin's beautiful." They started their trek toward Hayner's house to get Reno into something more suitable as Riku mumbled "With that red hair too... reminds me of a strawberry dipped in whipped cream... godDAMN..."

Reno was stunned into silence but smirked because well, because he knew he was hot.

  


Hayner got Reno a wetsuit and he changed alone in the downstairs bathroom while he listened to Riku chat with his buddies about what they planned to cook later. Reno thought about growing up with next to nothing and how differently Riku had been raised. He was a rich kid but he didn't seem to give two shits about any of it. It's not that he took it for granted, he just used it because it was there. If it was all gone tomorrow he had no doubt that Riku would go back to dealing drugs and nothing would change.

Out on the ocean they sat on their boards talking. Riku insisted on slathering Reno's face and hands with sunscreen that had since disappeared into his skin. "How goes it with Blondie? If you don't mind me askin."

"He's ...well. I asked him to come with me and he said no... Soo that's how it is with _Blondie_." Riku said as he stared out across the water.

"Did he have a good reason?" Reno asked giving Roxas the benefit of the doubt but not really wanting to.

"He cited school as his reason...but it's the weekend, Red. Look…I have my doubts about Roxas for a whole shit load of other reasons... can we not... talk about him?" Riku asked turning his eyes to Reno.

"No problem yo. I just think he's an idiot, that's all... but you know apples and trees." Reno said as he paddled away to catch the next wave.

Riku watched him smiling. "Can't surf, my ass..."

  


Later on the beach with the bonfire ablaze and the food and booze being passed around freely, Riku walked over and plopped down onto Reno's blanket. "Hey bodyguard... guard my body." he slurred making Reno chuckle, then he stretched out on his back and looked up at him smiling.

"Wan me ta guard it with my eyes or my body yo?" Reno asked as he looked down at the angelic face.

"Both." Riku giggled then reached up to play with a strand of Reno's hair.

"I can do that. I can _enjoy_ doin that." Reno said as he took Riku's hand out of his hair and placed it on his chest, then gave it a pat as if he was telling him to leave it there.

Riku watched him silently for a moment then reached for his hair again. Reno stopped his hand thinking _Nope!_ And held it this time. "Why you stop me? It feels like silk..."

"Because you shouldn't fondle your bodyguard yo." Reno smiled down at him as the ocean breeze stirred his long red locks.

"But you're..." Riku stopped short and looked at their clasped hands.

"I'm what Princess?" Reno rubbed his hand with his thumb and waited for the sarcasm.

"You're more than my bodyguard, right?" Riku asked in a voice that sounded so vulnerable it made Reno want to scoop him up and hold him right there.

"Yes... and sometimes it makes my job tough yo." Reno admitted.

"Tough how? When I do dumb shit like OD?" Riku asked as he began to bite the inside of his lip again before raising their clasped hands to kiss Reno's.

"Yeah and other times when I feel like ya need somethin that I can't give ya." Reno confessed as he decided to just be straight with Riku since he was probably the only person in his life who would be at that point.

"What do I need... that you can’t give to me?" Riku asked raising their hands to turn Reno's face toward his.

Reno took a deep breath and began. "You need someone who’ll love you unconditionally and spoil ya rotten yo. You need someone who puts your happiness before their own, someone willin to walk away from everything just to be by your side. Someone who worships you, not just for the way you look but for the person you are. Someone who makes ya laugh holds you when ya cry, who takes care of ya when you're sick and surprises ya with flowers and shit.”

Riku stared at him, then asked the tough question. “Why?”

Reno looked at him and tried hard to keep the sadness out of his eyes as he spoke. “Because you deserve it yo.”

Releasing Reno’s hand and sitting up he looked a little pissed. “Why do I deserve those things? I’ve never been anything but a fuck-up and a junkie. My parents were both nuts, my adoptive parents don’t give a shit about me. I’m a lousy boyfriend and a lousy student. I _deserve_ to be dead…God knows I’ve tried but I can’t even do _that_ right. Tell me _one_ thing that I’ve done that makes me deserving of love.”

 

Reno felt defeated at first but then he always did love a challenge. “Remember when we were at my place and Axel was off his meds… and his rocker? What did you do yo?”

Riku stared and waited assuming that Reno would answer for him but he didn’t.

“Tell me what ya did. I wanna hear the words.” Reno said with tears in his eyes thinking of the night they spent with his crazy brother. Riku dropped his head and mumbled.

“Nope.” Reno said lifting his chin. “None of that yo. You look in my eyes and say it.”

Riku knew well the importance of being able to look into someone’s eyes because Roxas rarely pulled it off. Taking a breath, he looked into emerald eyes and said quietly, “I sang to him.”

“You sang to him and you held him while he cried about a cat he _thought_ he had when we were kids. Do you have any fuckin idea what that did to _my heart_?” Reno asked as he saw a tear slide out of Riku’s eye. “That single act of kindness proved your worth and I’m bettin that you have done a lot more that you’re not willin to take credit for yo.”

“Axel needed…” Riku began but was getting choked up.

“That’s right baby, Axel _needed_ and you _gave_ without question, without hesitation. Not everyone would do that yo. Not everyone thinks like you do…with your heart first and your head second.” Reno wiped the tears off his cheeks. “Do Not Doubt Your Worth.”

Riku nodded and whispered “K”

Reno roared, making Riku laugh because he knew exactly what he was doing.

  


They ate and drank and sang a pirate song with Snow and Hayner as they danced around the fire. It was all so surreal…like a dream. Reno felt like he had been accepted into some kind of insane brotherhood where the only thing you had to sacrifice was your will to be apart from it.

Around 2 a.m. they all stumbled into the house singing and laughing. “It’s been real gentlemen, but I’m out.” Hayner announced then turned before he exited “Reno if you need anything, Riku knows where everything is.”

Everyone chorused “Goodnight, Hayner!”

Snow grabbed blanket and saluted them as he went back to the beach. Reno looked at Riku and smiled. “Where do I sleep, Princess?”

“With me, of course.” Riku giggled and they trotted upstairs together. “Race you to the shower?”

Reno sprinted as Riku cackled and fell behind.

 

Riku waited his turn for the shower and when he came out he found a lightly snoring, barely covered, very naked redhead in the bed he had claimed as his own at Hayner’s place. He lay for a while watching him sleep then reached for his hair. Reno’s hand shot up, suddenly and grabbed his wrist before his eyes even opened. Riku stared wide-eyed as he literally watched the redhead’s eyes focus and could almost hear his mental processes coming together. “Ya scared me yo.”

“You were sound asleep.” Riku whispered.

Reno slowly released Riku’s arm. “Where were you goin with that anyway?”

“I wanted to touch your hair.” Riku said softly as he looked at Reno with huge innocent eyes.

“Stop that yo.”

“Sorry…” Riku pouted.

“Stop that too. What’s the rule about that yo?”

“I’m not supposed to do it.” Riku said with the same eyes he was just scolded for using.

“Becaaause…” Reno said as he waited for the rest.

Riku’s eyes flicked from Reno’s face to his neck and then back to his eyes. “Because it makes you wanna fuck my face.”

“That’s right so if you remember what I said then why…?” Reno began but didn’t get to finish because Riku covered his mouth with his own. Reno knew that no good would come of this sleeping arrangement since the first time they tried this, it almost got him fucked.

He began to pull away when he felt hands in his hair holding him in place. Riku tugged the locks that he had been forbidden to touch and he heard Reno moan softly. “Stop that” he hissed turning his face away.

Riku smiled and kissed him again. He kissed him back hungrily as he touched the skin that had looked so unreal when he was out in the sun earlier. Kissing his neck and shoulders, he felt Riku shiver as he rolled him to his back and crawled over him.

“Are you ok with this?” he asked as he gently pushed Riku’s legs apart with his knee. Riku nodded but didn’t speak. Reno caressed his chest and abs as they kissed then reached to stroke him. Riku moaned and arched into the touch, making him smile. “Good?”

Riku nodded “But I never…I donno if…”

“I know ya haven’t …and I donno why ya picked me, but I’m glad ya did.” Reno said as he slipped down Riku’s body and took him into his mouth. Riku was lost in the sensations at first but then was a bit shocked when he felt a slick finger massage his entrance.

A second digit was added soon after, but he was too into the tongue to notice until he felt a small shock. “Reno.” He panted.

When Reno returned to his lips, he tasted himself on the soft mouth and whimpered as the redhead added a third finger. Riku was holding him in a death grip as he ground down onto his fingers. He moaned and hissed into Reno’s ear making the redhead want to take him right then.

When he began to pull away, Riku breathed “Nooo” but then watched Reno as he sat up on top of him and looked down. He was beautiful as his hands touched every sensitive spot, every old scar. He took both Riku’s hands and held them and then placed them on his chest.

Riku smoothed his hands over the skin that reminded him of china, so smooth and white. He touched the phoenix tattoo gingerly and looked at Reno’s face as if to ask permission. Reno nodded as he rolled his hips then Riku reached down for the biggest and most obvious reason he was nervous. He bucked his hips under Reno who groaned, knowing that if he let that continue, he would be the one getting fucked… _not that that would be a bad thing_. 

 

When Reno couldn’t take anymore teasing he leaned down and kissed him greedily. All he could think of was how much he wanted this and why. He had known for a while that he was falling for Riku and he had fought the good fight. But if he was willing to give _this_ to him, then chances were, he was falling for him too. Reno hoped that he was anyway.

Pushing his legs apart again was easier the second time and as Reno pressed inside, he whispered into his ear to soothe him and caressed his legs to help him relax. Riku growled once and Reno immediately apologized. Once the initial pain was over, he relaxed as Reno set a slow gentle pace and kissed his face and neck. “You feel so good… Mi Jesu, indulge peccata nostra, conserva nos ab…so beautiful.”

Reno continued to pray as Riku devoured every part of him that he could reach with lips and hands, and listened to him in wonder. He was lost in the ecstasy of being so completely filled and the sensation of having this amazing man inside his body, that when he saw a tear slip from the corner of his eye something in him broke. Pulling Reno to him he said “Love me Reno…keep me… and love me.”

Reno wanted to say so much he didn’t trust his voice… he was afraid to say the words. This was what he wanted and now that he had it laid at his feet, he was afraid. Riku kissed him deeply and pulled him closer as they both neared their end. Being in complete and utter awe of the man above him and so overwhelmed by emotion that he was desperate, he whispered. “I love you Reno.”

The redhead knew the implications of saying the words to someone like Riku- someone who had been denied love by so many, when it would have been so easy to just give it and allow his heart to heal. “I love you too. _Promise … promise_ _to stay_ _with me_?”

“Always.” Riku said. “With you.”

Reno’s heart soared in his chest. He knew it wasn’t just words. He could feel the love in his touch and see it in his eyes. Reno finally had someone who loved him, who understood him, and who promised to never leave him. He was finally whole.

  


Reno woke to a buzzing sound. He had tears on his face and guessed he must have been crying in his sleep… it happened sometimes. He reached for his phone and wondered where Riku was. Focusing on his surroundings, he realized that he was in his apartment in Midgar, not on Destiny. “Aaaaahhh!” He sobbed out loud and covered his face.

His heart broke into a thousand pieces… _it was_ _all a dream_. Reality set in as the phone stopped buzzing. _Riku quit ShinRa_ and was God knows where, doing God knows what. _He doesn’t love me and he_ _doesn’t want to be with me_. Reno sobbed harder.

He had searched Midgar over and demanded security footage at the airport but all that got him was arrested. Rude had bailed him out and watched him nearly poison himself with alcohol before delivering him to his apartment.

Picking up his phone, he checked to see who had called but before he could see, it began ringing again. Clearing his throat, he wiped his eyes on his sleeve. “Yeah.”

“Reno, this is Roxas…I hate to bother you but…Riku was by here earlier tonight and I just can’t shake the feeling that something was wrong. I think he was stoned.”

“What did he say yo?!” Reno’s heart dropped as he checked the time.

“He said he had somewhere to be and for me to tell everyone goodbye for him.”

Reno hung up. He knew where he was headed and why. “Please God no…don’t take this one… don’t take him away from me!!”

Grabbing his gun, he was out the door on his way to commandeer a chopper and head for Destiny Island.

  
  


Riku went to the seedy side of Destiny and scored enough drugs for a week, a set of works, and went on to Xemnas’ house. He walked into the dark mansion, smelled all the familiar smells and heard the ocean. He checked his wallet…he had a photo of his mom, his dad, and Luna. Tucking it into his jeans pocket, he made sure the baby bracelet was still there too. Grabbing a sandwich bag from the kitchen, he jogged up the stairs and went into his old room. He opened all the windows and doors to let the sea breeze fill the room as the sheers danced like ghosts.

Staring for a moment, he remembered lying on the bed with Olette and Luna- the quiet happiness and the sound of her laughter. He remembered his time there with Roxas- the smell of his skin and the taste of his lips. The memories faded like ghosts as he stepped into the bathroom, looked around and thought about Hayner. _Good old Hayner_.

Riku took a deep breath and looked into the mirror. He stared at his reflection and found nothing beautiful, nothing good, nothing of worth.

Resigned to what he needed to do, he cooked all the drugs, filled the syringe completely, and dropped it into the plastic bag with his phone. Passing by his bed again on the way out, he stopped to look at the photo of Luna in his arms, then went outside to find the board that was always hidden near the deck.

The rain started as he paddled out holding the baggie between his teeth, but the thunder seemed to usher him on. When he was out on the ocean he was free. His jeans were soaked with the cool water and he had shed his shirt and shoes before going in. Chills wracked his body, wet hair clinging to his skin as he lay back and closed his eyes.

He thought about Reno as he floated. He thought of Cloud and his happy family. His chest felt like an empty hole but at the same time, tight with emotions. Sitting up, he took out the needle and his phone. He put the needle over his ear like he used to, then called Cloud.

“Hello?”

Riku said nothing. Cloud was a good person and he had enough guilt.

“Hello?”

Riku still said nothing. Tears streaked down his face, mixing with the rain. He wished that Cloud didn’t sound so worried.

“Is this Riku? Are you ok, son?”

That was too much. Riku hung up and threw his phone as far as he could, and screamed. He screamed at God for fucking him. He screamed at Xemnas for being a dick. He screamed at ShinRa for ruining his dad. He screamed at Roxas for making him feel love again. He screamed at God.

The storm was right over him then and even the choppy water seemed to reject him as the board rocked under him. Jamming the needle into his bulging vein, he pressed the plunger all the way down and fell backward.

His breath came in short pants for mere seconds, and then stopped. The waves crashed on the beach and rough waters dislodged his lifeless body. Riku sank into the ocean that he loved so much.

Minutes later, a chopper landed on the beach. Reno ran toward the ocean screaming his name. He had seen his board from above but he knew he was too late. The board floated listlessly as he swam out to reach it and search for Riku's body.

  


The early morning was gray in Twilight Town and everyone was still asleep. Roxas had dozed off around four a.m. waiting on a call from somebody, anybody. About an hour and a half of fitful sleep later, he heard the door open and jumped up from the sofa to see his dad.

Cloud opened his arms and Roxas saw his tears. Backing away from him, he scowled. “What’s wrong, Dad?”

Cloud approached him slowly. “I’m sorry Rox, Riku’s gone.”

  


Vincent sat with Aerith as she cried, her heart broken again. He knew she would never be the same. She had so little time with him but, she told Vincent that she was grateful that she got to know him at all. Vincent felt that she would soon follow her lover and son. She had no one left.

  


The official cause of death was listed as drowning but no body was recovered. Rufus planned an elaborate funeral to be held in Midgar but Riku’s friends knew he wouldn’t have wanted that. There was a massive party at Strife House where Demyx played some of Riku’s favorite songs and this time when he played Doin Time, everyone danced and celebrated the life of Riku Valentine.

 

 


	54. RIKU WAS HERE

RIKU WAS HERE

  


The funeral was over and the parties were done. Axel was busy with his own mourning, the serpent, his grief-stricken guilt-ridden blonde brother, as well as school, so Reno left Twilight Town to find closure.

He bought two first class tickets to Destiny Island but sat alone. Turning off his phone he winked at the flight attendant and ordered whiskey for himself and vodka for his plus one. The flight attendant looked at the two ticket receipts that lay on the empty seat next to the redhead but didn't ask any questions; she assumed that the plus one was in the restroom.

Returning with the drinks she noticed the other seat was still empty. Reno put in his ear buds ignoring the flight attendant after receiving his drinks and opened his lap top.

_"Hey, didn’t I tell you not to do that shit yo!" Reno's own voice said as the camera focused on Riku's pouting face._

They were in a hotel bar and Reno decided to make use of a lapel camera because he wanted to show some footage to Roxas…but that was before.

_"Why?" Riku asked and then laughed_ ; the sound of his voice made Reno smile with tears in his eyes. This wasn’t the first time he had watched the footage…but that was before. The Turk in him watched the way Riku fidgeted now and then and rubbed the scars on his wrists. But what his heart saw was the way Riku looked so lost when nobody was looking, the helplessness in his eyes and the hopelessness in that stare of his. It was devastating.

Reno paused the video and downed his whiskey then looked over at the untouched vodka. Looking back at the paused video he decided this had to wait. He closed the lap top and put it away before taking the vodka and drinking it as well.

Leaning his head back Reno closed his eyes and focused on what he could remember...his face, his hair, his scent, every inch of his body, the scar on his right foot from stepping on a broken seashell when he was 14. It needed 12 stitches, Riku had told him, and it tickled when he touched it.

The barely visible scars on his wrists and the slightly malformed pupils in his eyes were his shame but Reno thought they were beautiful and made him who he was…and he told him so but found little comfort in that, considering he couldn’t save him.

There were many things about him that Reno decided to keep to himself. He wasn’t sharing a single story that Riku had told, a single shred of video footage, not even a slurred voice mail…with anyone.

At the funeral and the party he had been unusually quiet but no one noticed aside from Axel. They were all caught up in their own grief and worried about keeping Roxas from following Riku in death. Those were Axel’s friends anyhow, so he shouldn’t expect them to notice things about him. He was a Turk and he was supposed to be able to handle things like this.

  


The flight attendant had watched the redhead sit alone and drink both drinks. She wondered if he was in mourning because he looked so sad. She tried to get a look at his laptop but he closed it before she could see. _Maybe his wife died_ she thought. Stepping to the front she spoke briefly with a passenger near him and noticed that he seemed to be sleeping.

Reno was thinking of the first trip to Midgar with SephiKu and how he was so surprised when people were nice to him. _He was so down on himself that he didn’t understand why people thought he was beautiful and wanted to be near him. He didn’t realize that he had the gravitational pull of a fucking planet._

He tried so many times to think of anything that he could have done differently that might have saved his life. He beat himself up endlessly and drank too much. He wished for just one more day to spend with him, one more morning to wake to him, one more night to hold him…

  


The plane descended and he picked up his two ticket receipts and stuck them safely into his breast pocket. Standing to depart, the flight attendant approached him holding out her hand. “Sir, did you enjoy your flight?”

“Yes, thank you.” Reno answered mechanically thinking that his voice sounded like someone else. The old Reno would have been trying to get her number or get her in the restroom for a quickie…but that was before.

Stepping outside the terminal he smelled the salt air and it nearly choked him. Reno knew exactly where he was going and why, so he checked the time then took a cab to the beach near Hayner’s. “I’ll walk it from here.” He told the cabbie as he paid him and strolled off down the street looking at the ocean.

Hayner was still in Twilight Town, as was Snow, and the two wouldn’t be back for a few more days. Olette wasn’t coming back, not to live anyway. She and Sora were going to live in Costa. He wondered how her folks were doing and if they had cared at all about Riku. Debating on whether or not he should pay them a visit, he checked his watch again and turned toward the Xemnas estate.

The first thing he noticed was the big FOR SALE sign at the gate. _They didn’t waste any time_ , he thought. Disarming the alarms and locks was easy as he walked through and closed the gate behind him. He would leave via the beach after dark anyway, no sense in inviting trouble.

The mansion looked foreboding and a little like every scary movie Reno had ever seen. As he walked up the driveway he remembered the day Rude landed the chopper on the lawn. Xemnas had sent ShinRa a bill for the landscaping but didn’t bother to inquire about the health and well-being of his son. Reno looked up at the huge pillars and the tall windows and felt sad that such a beautiful home apparently never brought anyone any joy.

  


Inside, the smell of flowers was overwhelming and he sneezed then laughed at himself when it echoed. There were very few lights on inside but with all the windows he could see well enough. Outside the sun was beginning to set so he went about his task. Each room on the ground floor of the mansion was scoured and he found no trace of Riku.

The second floor was much the same with the exception of the Dean’s office and the Xemnas’ bedroom suites… they were separate. Inside the office on the desk was a framed photo of Riku as a child. Reno picked it up and looked at it. Riku was smiling and wearing some little glasses, the dimples in his cheeks clearly visible. Reno smiled and sat it back down on the desk exactly like it had been, then moved around to sit.

Inside the desk he found stacks of doctor and hospital bills, legal papers and court documents with Riku’s name on them. There was a tiny box underneath them so he picked it up to see what the old Dean had hidden. Opening it, he saw that it was Riku’s high school ring… _keeping this_ , he thought. Replacing the empty box, he plundered on.

Soon he was done with the desk after not finding anything more in it and he looked around. Remembering one of Riku’s stories about an occasion when he sabotaged Xemnas’ office at TU, Reno went to the liquor cabinet and pissed in a few of the bottles. “Cause you were such a stand-up Dad…” Reno chuckled then left to check the bedroom suites.

  


In Xemnas’ suite there was no trace of Riku anywhere. That pissed Reno off so he went back to the office and took the picture of little Riku out of the frame and kept it since he _obviously just had it there for show_. However, Mrs. Xemnas’ suite was a shrine to the boy. A huge painting of him hung on the wall and framed photos of him were sitting on any available surface.

Reno couldn’t breathe so he sat down on her sofa as he looked around at all the pictures of his SephiKu. Taking a deep breath, he stood and began to inspect each photo: Riku surfing…he looked so young, Riku and Luna, Riku and Olette, Riku in a tuxedo, Riku graduating from high school, Riku and his mom at different ages, Riku and a lady with long dark hair… _must be Lulu_ _the nanny he talked about_ Reno thought.

Thinking briefly of the grieving mother he almost left the photos… _Nope!_ He decided to take them all.

Going into her bedroom, he noticed there were fewer photos of him but other small things that looked like art projects from school. Opening her bedside table he found it filled with prescription bottles. Reno shook his head and hummed. “Poor lady…maybe she loved you in her own way, baby.” He thought for a second about returning some of the photos… _nah…they had him for years, I only had a few months…keeping these._

Glancing into her closet and bathroom he found nothing further, so he took the photos and one small ceramic fish that Riku had scrawled his name and the date into. _He would have been 6_ _when he made this_ Reno thought and smiled.

Going to the top floor he knew this was ground zero. Walking back into the suite where he had rescued Riku from death was surreal, and he felt a chill. The sun had set while he had been searching the house so he turned on a small sconce beside the door. The white sheers hung flat and lay in piles on the floor. Reno started to open the windows and doors but he stopped… _later_.

 

Walking into the small kitchen he found bottled water and a few mostly empty bottles of liquor and candy, hordes of candy _because junkies love sweets_. Reno wanted to cry. Taking a few deep breaths and steeling himself, he got back to the task at hand. As much as he would love to take his time, he _was_ breaking and entering.

He took off his jacket and hung it over one of the bar stools and sat his bag down on the counter before rifling through drawers of utensils and even went through the cabinets. He found some reminders that Riku had scrawled on a notepad and a grocery list of sorts. Reno folded the notes and stuck them into his breast pocket.

Walking back into the sitting room, he noticed that it didn’t seem to have been cleaned recently. _If it hasn’t been cleaned_ he thought, _then maybe_ …he almost ran to the bedroom to see and was astounded to find that he was right…the bed was still unmade. Rushing to it, he stopped right before touching anything. He closed his eyes as he picked up a pillow. Pressing it to his face he fell to his knees and wept.

Every part of him raged at the injustice of what had happened to Riku and even a little for himself. He was robbed of the one person that he had wanted to keep, the only person he had ever loved aside from his brother. He screamed into the pillow and cried until he was exhausted. When he couldn’t cry anymore, he lay down on the bed and looked around the room. He imagined what Riku’s life must have been like in the beautiful mausoleum.

Beside the bed was a photo of Riku and Luna. Reno picked it up and looked at it closely. She looked so much like him. They were together now and Reno was sure that if nothing else, _that_ would make Riku happy.

Getting up from the bed, he went into the bathroom. Things were disturbed… _this is where he got ready to do it_ Reno thought. The room seemed to vibrate with residual energy and it made him shiver.

_He left his gear on the sink because he knew he wasn’t coming back_. The Turk picked up the lighter and flicked it once before sticking it into his pocket. The empty balloons told him exactly how badly Riku wanted to die that night. He picked one up and sniffed it, heroin… _the good shit_.

Going through drawers he found boxes of single-edge razor blades and bottles of liquid bandage along with gauze and medical tape, latex gloves and a few odds and ends for junkies: some pieces of rubber band for tying off, a spoon that had seen its better days, a box of syringes and more lighters. There was nothing more personal to a junkie than his gear but Reno wasn’t taking that stuff.

Moving on to the closet he chose a shirt that he had seen Riku wear and left the rest. In a small jewelry box inside the closet were cuff links, a couple rings and a necklace that was broken. It was all expensive looking but Reno didn’t want that stuff either.

Tossed in a shoe box were a few leather wristlets… _keeping those_.

Out of the closet, he noticed there was another door… _another closet_ , he assumed. Upon opening it he wished he had just left well enough alone. It _was_ a closet and the contents were all of Luna’s things. He closed the door leaving it undisturbed.

  


Turning around in the room, he looked once more at the bed and walked back over to take the pillow slip. It smelled like Riku and the ocean and he wanted to keep that as long as he could. He needed to leave but the bed…if he could just lie down for a few minutes maybe he could feel his presence. “This is probably a bad idea…Goldilocks fucked up and I’m about to do the same thing yo.” Reno snickered.

Taking off his boots he slipped into the bed. Pulling the covers up to his nose he looked around the room then closed his eyes. After a few minutes he began to relax. Afraid he would fall asleep he sat up and went back through all of the pilfered photos. Remembering the basement swimming pool Riku had talked about and the theater that Roxas mentioned, he scooted out of bed to explore some more.

  


The basement was by far the creepiest place in the house. It was too quiet and reminded Reno of a morgue. He loved the pool but the only vibes he picked up on, were ones of misery and loneliness. He made his way through the solarium before going back up to the bed. Sliding across the marble in his socks, he grabbed his bag and jumped onto the big fluffy bed.

He set his alarm for 4:00 a.m. and snuggled down with his lap top to resume the video footage and watched until he fell asleep.

  


“Tell me how I can make him happy Luna.” Riku asked his daughter as they watched the sleeping redhead.

“Leave him a note Daddy!” She said happily.

“I don’t know how…I’m really new at this.” He laughed and she giggled at him

“I’ll help you.”

  


Reno woke to the sound of water running. It sounded like the taps were wide open. Jumping from the bed he crept cautiously to the bathroom and glanced at his watch _3:30 a.m._ The door was open and steam was boiling out so he fanned his way inside to turn the taps off.

The steam began to clear and he saw on the mirror a note just for him. Written in an unmistakable scrawl were the words _Riku Was Here_ along with a crooked heart. Reno smiled through the tears and whispered, “Did you know that I loved you?”

Riku and Luna watched him and smiled. Riku leaned over Reno’s shoulder and wrote: _I Do_ _Now._

Reno laughed and cried at the same time and said, “I just wanted to be near you. I just wanted something of yours to keep.”

As he listened to the quiet he remembered that he had turned off his cell on the plane. Taking it from his pocket he turned it on and took a photo of his mirror messages.

 

After he was sure there would be no more writing he turned to go back to the bed and collect his things. The alarm on his laptop started to buzz so he turned it off and packed it up. Boots on and ready to leave he took one more look around and noticed that the drawer was open on the bedside table. He had completely overlooked it earlier.

Inside was Riku’s missing phone from the night of the bonfire overdose…it had been right there all along… _keeping this_. Reno pocketed his treasures and went downstairs and out to the beach where he sat going through all of Riku’s messages and photos while he waited on the sunrise.

There were lots of pics on the cell that he expected to see: pics of Roxas and Sora, Snow and Hayner. There were also pics he didn’t expect to see: pics of himself- laughing, drinking, and sleeping. Reno stared at the phone as it began to alert because the battery was dying. He turned it off and put it away looking out at the horizon.

  
  


Roxas was numb and racked with guilt so he dropped all his classes. He was snorting enough coke to keep three clubs jumping all night, and not eating. He was too thin and too quiet.

Axel abandoned his study and stayed high with Roxas to the point that Vanitas threatened them both with rehab. He didn’t want to send them away but he wouldn’t watch them die. Vanitas and he rarely spoke and Axel knew there was something there besides the drugs but neither of them would say.

Sora was so caught up with Olette that he seemed oblivious to the tension between his brothers. They had bought a small house in Costa and were only waiting for graduation so they could get on with their life. Sora couldn't talk about Riku without crying and had drunkenly confided to Axel once that he had wondered if things would have gone differently if he and Riku had stayed together. He didn’t have to say it outright, but he blamed Roxas and it had been devastating to their relationship.

Demyx and Ventus helped each other through the worst of it and planned to live in Twilight Town after Ventus’ graduation because Demyx still had a year to go.

  


Everyone gathered for the last Strife House party. There were finals to study for and no one wanted to entertain anymore. The missing piece was too obvious. The loss was too great. Roxas was stoned before the first guest arrived and was sleeping on the pillows by 10:00. Axel sat down beside him and Vanitas on the other side and they passed the bong over his sleeping form. Vanitas looked at Axel and sighed. “You could come to Costa with me. I’ve got a job lined up as soon as I graduate.”

Axel sighed as well, “My work is in Midgar. That’s a hell of a commute.” They chuckled but there was no humor in it.

“How’s Reno?” Vanitas asked quietly and Axel smiled at the mention of his name, and then shook his head. “He’s broken.”

Both of them looked down at the sleeping blonde between them. “What are you gonna do with him?” Axel asked sadly.

“He won’t graduate because he hasn’t been to a single class since… you know.” Vanitas said as he watched him sleep. “Dad will stick him in rehab, no doubt. After that, who knows?”

The night wore on but they didn’t move from their place by Roxas. Soon Ventus and Demyx joined them. Later, after the house had quieted and all the greens were smoked, Sora came down and crawled into the pile of bodies. He wiggled his way next to Roxas and buried his face in his hair and whispered, “I love you.”

  
  


He was so hot. As he regained consciousness, he felt the hot sweaty press of something across his face and he struggled to free himself from what was undoubtedly, The Strife. He grappled with fabric and hair, his hands seeking purchase in anything they could grasp.

Axel thought about many things as he slowly disentangled himself from the wreckage that was his graduate study, his research, his career plan, and basically his life. How had this gotten so out of control when he had studied for years and earned multiple degrees before even coming to TU?

The rush of cool air as he rolled away from the mass of bodies took him back to the previous autumn and he looked around the cluttered room. It was full, but empty with its offensive carpeting and walls that were painted the color of beer vomit on purpose so it would blend when the inevitable did happen. The den of the house was littered with cans and bottles and various smoking paraphernalia, much as it was the first time he saw it.

Axel considered crying. It would be justified considering his current situation however a complete and utter waste of what little hydration his body retained. So he didn’t cry; he lit a cigarette instead. It was the second Sunday in May, a little after noon

 


	55. THE WAY BACK

THE WAY BACK

  


"Roxas...say something...Rox?" Vanitas hissed at the door. "Goddammit Rox...I'm comin in." Jamming a knife between the door and the jamb, Vanitas shoved it open and stumbled in. "Rox?"

Downstairs Cloud was asleep on the sofa. Days after Riku's service nothing was alright and he refused to leave his boys. He woke with a start when he heard Vanitas' screams from the second story of Strife House.

Bolting up the stairs in SOLDIER mode, he was dialing 911 and blurting the address before he hit the broken bedroom door and smelled the blood. Vanitas was holding his brother's limp body rocking him, crying and screaming. Cloud hadn't seen that much blood in a very long time...

When the paramedics arrived, they went to work right there, and Cloud had his hands full trying to subdue Vanitas who was hysterical. Finally dragging him from the room so the rescue personnel could hear each other over his screams, he held him sitting on the floor of Sora's empty room. Ventus and Axel stumbled in, clearly panic-stricken.

Chaos ensued and Cloud sobbed as Vanitas crawled to Axel for comfort. _One day at a time, one_ _day at a time_. Cloud began to get his bearings but Vanitas was babbling while Axel held him, and then he started puking. He was covered in his brother's blood and now so were Cloud and Axel.

The redhead looked up at Cloud through tears, in desperation. Cloud rushed out and shoved his way back in to where Roxas lay being hurriedly strapped to a gurney. "Do you know his type?" One of the medics asked.

"A pos." Cloud blurted as he watched Roxas become more and more ashen.

Following them down the stairs, another shouted back. "Donors?"

"Right behind you." Cloud said desperately and then shouting over his shoulder, "Somebody find Sora!"

Sora saw the ambulance as he pulled his car to the curb in front of Strife House and his heart sank. He knew. Before he could get out of his car, he saw them bringing Roxas out. His head spun and his vision began to tunnel _. He looks dead. What the fuck will I do if Roxas is dead?_ _How will I live?_

Waving a hand at Cloud who nodded when he saw him and pointed to the ambulance, Sora then motioned for Cloud to get into the car with him.

Rushing over he almost fell in beside Sora who drove off, hot on the rear of the ambulance. "He cut, he cut his...." Cloud tried to say but he gagged.

Sora stared straight ahead. He knew better than to look anywhere but at the road. He could smell the blood on Cloud's clothes and all he could think of was Roxas.

At the hospital they ran inside and were immediately seated and their blood was taken. They heard Vanitas, Axel, Ventus, and Demyx come in because it sounded like a riot. Cloud looked at Sora with tears streaming down his face. "Sora...baby?"

Only then did Sora turn his eyes to his dad. Scanning the blood on his clothes, his expression never changed. "If he doesn't make it, you'll bury us both."

"Sora...no..." Was all Cloud could say before dissolving into sobs again.

  


Later that evening, they were all in Roxas' hospital room, in chairs, on the floor, and in bed with him. They were all quiet. Not one of them had the capacity to do anything other than wait and watch.

The next morning they all woke to wails from the bed. Everyone sat straight up looking around. There was a nurse over Roxas whispering for him to calm down as she checked his bandages. His arms had been splinted so that he couldn't move them except at the shoulder...and he was pissed.

Just as Cloud reached the bedside, Roxas took a swing with one of his splinted arms but the former soldier caught it. "Stop it Rox. She's trying to help you. We're all here to help you."

Roxas looked at him miserably and he began to cry. He cried until he was hoarse and the only word anyone could distinguish was Sora's name.

Sora had stepped out to call Olette while everyone else slept so no one was sure where he was or when he was coming back but minutes after Roxas began blubbering, he came flying through the door, eyes like saucers. "I'm here, Roxy."

Roxas quieted immediately and Cloud was reminded of when they were babies.... _Sora has to be_ _with Roxas, even when they bathe...and there is no sleeping unless they're together..._

For the next few days, all Roxas would do was answer questions from the others and whisper to Sora. Finally Cloud caught Sora out of the room and asked him what Roxas had been saying to him. "He wants to die, Dad. He wants to be with Riku...I told him if he goes, then I'll go with him." Sora said matter-of-factly.

"Goddammit Sora...what about Ariel?" Cloud snapped. 

"She's got Olette." Sora said sounding a little irritated.

"She needs a _father_."

"And I'm sure Olette will get her one. Probably sooner than later!" Sora growled at Cloud. "I love Roxas...more than anyone...and this is not up for debate!"

With that he went back into the room to snuggle with Roxas. Cloud thought he could not possibly get any more distraught until he heard yelling coming from inside.

"What the fuck do you mean?!" Vanitas roared at the blonde. "What about _the rest of us?_ What about _Dad?_ What about...what about _me,_ Rox?" Vanitas sobbed and growled. "I love you."

Axel held him and glared at the blonde who sat with tears on his pink cheeks. Cheeks that were pink because his brothers and his father had donated their blood so he could have his life back. He sat there throwing it back in their faces while he clung to one...

_"Roxy fell down daddy...an he cry. He got blood." Sora said as he held the hand of a sniffling blonde version of himself. Cloud hugged both his boys and repaired the skinned knee. "Thank you." Sora said while Roxas stared at the floor._

_"Are you all better now, Roxas?" Cloud asked as he watched the two toddlers. Roxas nodded and looked up at him with wide but now dry eyes._

_As they walked away hand in hand, Cloud felt a tear that he hadn't realized escaped his eye. They were like two parts of the same child and he wondered if there was any stronger bond in the universe than the one between them._

10 years later the same two were cuddling on the beach. _“I never wanna be away from you Roxy…” Sora whispered._

_“We can be together always…I don’t need anyone but you Sor.” Roxas whispered back. “I got my class changed so now we have them all together…think you can sit by me?”_

_“Sure I can…I’ll make up some reason why we have to…and if they alphabetize…we’ll be side by side anyways.” Sora reassured. “Think Dad’s asleep yet?”_

_“Probably…why?” Roxas played with Sora’s captive fingers as they talked._

_“I want you to sleep in my bed tonight…and I don’t like his new rule.” Sora hissed._

_Roxas smirked. “You know I can get around Dad’s rules.” Then he kissed Sora’s cheek. “I love you.”_

_“I love you too Roxy.”_

_Cloud watched the two and wondered at how their bond was just as strong as it was when Roxas used Sora to speak for him._

  


He watched Sora help Roxas prepare to leave the hospital he realized that in his awe of their sibling bond, he still had no idea. Theirs was a bond of souls. It was dangerous and beautiful and at this point in their lives, completely and wholly tragic.

For a week, Roxas only spoke to Sora. Cloud stayed with him while Sora was in class but there was no conversation. He tried. Roxas was almost catatonic until Sora came in, at which time he would wait patiently for him to come sit by him so he could wrap himself around the brunette and whisper. It was almost as if he had been holding his breath the entire time Sora was away.

Cloud was aware that Roxas needed inpatient care so after the first week, he began trying to get Sora on board with getting him there.

"He doesn't need anyone but me!" Sora- day 1

"I can take care of him myself!" Sora - day 2.

"I've got to sleep...I have an exam I haven't even looked at...could you..?" Sora- day 3.

"I got this...just leave us alone." Sora- day 4.

Days 5 & 6 they didn't leave the bedroom.

"He's agreed to go. I'll go with you to take him." Sora- day 7.

10 days into a 30 day stretch, Roxas carved his fresh scar tissue with a broken spork. Cloud and Sora came out to the center to visit and sign the forms committing him for an extended stay.

Roxas was relieved of his shoes with strings, and all writing and eating utensils. He didn't speak to anyone and ate with his hands. When Sora came, he cried and when Cloud came he was angry.

  


One afternoon he got an unexpected visit from Axel. "Hi Rox...what's up?"

Roxas glared at him and turned his face away.

"I got a feeling you're not going to have much to stay, but that's ok...cause I came here to talk, not to listen. I don't have any interest in hearing how _sad_ you are when Vanitas is at home crying. I don't care to hear that you have to eat with your _hands_ when Vanitas is too depressed to eat at all. And I really don't want to hear that you want to _die_ , as you have made that clear to everyone. I want you to hear what you've accomplished thus far. Sora barely sleeps, Cloud still hasn't been home, and Vanitas has nightmares when he does sleep. Ventus and Demyx actually had a fight, Olette is practically a single mother to Ariel, and I'm trained to deal with shit like this so here it is…” The redhead hissed, his green eyes igniting as he leaned closer to his former lover’s face. “Suck it up, get your _shit_ together, and get back to living. Riku is _dead_ and that isn't going to change…but right now you have a family and friends who love you and _need_ for you to live. So stop wallowing, and think of everyone else for a change."

Axel saw that Roxas was crying but he knew how tough he was, so he didn't give in to the need to comfort him. "That's all I wanted to say. I…we love you Roxas."

When he was gone Roxas thought about his words and what a selfish dick he had been. That evening when dinner came he ate, when meds came he didn't fight them, and when lights out came, he slept.

  


Waking to the sound of sobbing at three a.m., he realized quickly enough that the sounds were coming from him. Wiping his face he stumbled to the bathroom and then out into the hallway where he was intercepted by the night nurse. “I wan Soraaa…” He slurred, still very much under the influence of his meds.

“You can see your brother tomorrow, Roxas. It’s still nighttime. You should be in bed.” She said trying to turn him back toward his room.

“I don wanna sleep by mmmself.” Roxas said as he huffed a sigh because even though he was up and walking, his body was sluggish and uncooperative.

“I’ll sit with you, ok?” She offered smiling.

“Okaay. Sit wif me…” Roxas had begun to drool a bit just as she got him through the doorway. The night nurse called for an orderly who came in just in time to keep the wiry blonde from collapsing. Settling him into bed and leaving the nurse to watch him, the orderly left.

The next morning Roxas woke early to find the night nurse asleep in the chair by his bed. Her hair was chestnut brown and streaked with silver and her slightly weathered hands were folded on her lap. If he had a mom growing up, he would have liked to have one like this lady. She was snoring softly and he smiled at the sound. “Wake up…psst…wake up I don’t want my new favorite nurse to get into trouble.” Roxas said and winked at her as she opened her eyes.

Watching her smile spread as she returned his wink, she whispered, “Let’s get you some breakfast my little night owl…and we’ll keep this our secret.”

Roxas smiled a very rare genuine smile. “Ok…and thank you.”

He was on his way back.


End file.
